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Get ready to rock this May! Mercury enters Gemini on May 3, followed by the swift planet’s retrograde journey, which lasts from May 29 to June 22. Take stock of the communication shakeups and technological breakdowns that will begin during the pre-retrograde shadow on May 14, because it’ll be the story that we’re working with until Mercury leaves its post-retrograde (aka, Retroshade) zone on July 7. 

Romantic Venus moves into dualistic Gemini on May 8, offering up options when it comes to how we proceed in relationships and love. Then on May 11, the New Moon in Taurus gives us the chance to lead with the heart in all matters of our lives. Soon after, on May 13, expansive Jupiter enters Pisces, and will be in the mystical sign until July 28 (then again in late December, and on and off throughout 2022). Jupiter’s slow journey through the transcendental water sign will be a time to evolve our dreams and healing.

The Sun enters Gemini on May 20, which means we’ll be more talkative and wanting to hang with others more than ever. Then Saturn begins it’s retrograde journey on May 23 in Aquarius. This period, which will last until October 11, is a time of deepening commitments, slowing down in life, and being kinder to ourselves. The total lunar eclipse (which also serves as the second Supermoon of 2021) in Sagittarius on May 26 ends the vision that we cultivated during the Sagittarius New Moon on November 26, 2019. Now’s the time to ask ourselves: What have we learned? How have we grown? The lunar eclipse is a rude awakening that’s meant to align us with our truest path in life. Stay tuned for major awakenings and changes.

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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Are you a single parent? How do you budget your money? What financial advice do you have for new single parents? Let us know here.

Today: a behavioral health supervisor who makes $104,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on See’s Candies assorted lollipops.

Occupation: Behavioral Health Supervisor
Industry: Behavioral Health
Age: 31
Location: San Francisco, CA
Salary: $104,000
Net Worth: -$92,920.15 (Checking/savings: $31,563, pension: $27,044 (need to stay with my organization another 1.5 years for matching employer contribution), scooter: $4,000, minus debt.)
Debt: $155,527.15 (graduate student loans)
Paycheck Amount (1x/month): $5,747
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1,390 for a room in a four-bed that I share with three people. Landlord pays water, garbage, and landscaping.
Loans: $0 (All student loans are currently in forbearance, hallelujah!)
Utilities: $142 (includes electricity, internet, bi-monthly house cleaning)
Amazon Prime: $119/year
Audible: $15 (best money I consistently spend)
Motorcycle Insurance: $400/year
Netflix/HBO/Hulu/Disney+: $0 (boyfriend’s account)
Washington Post/Atlantic: $0 (boyfriend’s account)
NYT Subscription: $50/year
New Yorker Subscription: $7.50/month
Pension: 7.5% of salary
Wealthfront: $720
Savings: $680
Google Storage: $1.99
Health/Vision/Dental: covered by my company
Cell Phone: $40

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. Both my parents are college-educated immigrants, so there was no question about the need to attend higher education. My parents paid for my undergraduate degree and I got one or two scholarships. I took out federal loans for grad school.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents grew up in relative poverty, so they always reinforced the importance of education in pursuit of a stable career that wouldn’t break down my body. The basic rules around finances were: always pay off your credit card in full, never owe anyone money, make sure you have a good credit score. Don’t buy what you can get for free. Don’t be an artist because you’ll starve. You need to make enough to be comfortable sending any children you have to college.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
In high school, I tutored elementary school students and taught piano in order to have spending money. My parents didn’t provide an allowance or pay for peer-related activities, so if I wanted to go to prom or participate in school sports, I had to earn the money myself. I usually borrowed sports uniforms and prom dresses from friends. My parents also seldom bought me things that weren’t necessities, so my clothes and toys were generally secondhand church donations or gifts from family friends.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No. I grew up in an affluent community of H1B visa immigrants and my parents provided me every educational/extracurricular opportunity available. It sometimes made me uncomfortable to not be able to go out with friends or fit in on the basis of our belongings, but I never worried about basic needs.

Do you worry about money now?
Thinking about my student loans knocks the breath out of me. However, I’m four and a half verified years into a 10-year public service loan forgiveness, so I cross my fingers that the government doesn’t eliminate loan forgiveness plans and try not to dwell. I did worry about money a lot between the ages of 21-27 when I moved to an economically recessed state where I was chronically underemployed. I lowkey think everyone should have the experience of working two jobs at once. I also did AmeriCorps for a year (which pays an annual salary of $12,000), which was rewarding but not the easiest, financially. Getting fast food was a big deal.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible for myself at age 21 when I graduated from college. That being said, I will always have the financial safety net of my parents and older sister, who would support me if I fell on a hard place. When I think about the financial decisions I’ve made in life (doing public service work, taking out student loans), I know I’ve had the immense privilege of making them with relative ease and comfort, knowing that my family would never let me be homeless (though they have let me be on food stamps).

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
When I was in college, my mom gave me her Ford Escort station wagon, which I drove into the ground. When I was moving back to California several years ago, I asked my parents to loan me $2,000 to cover moving expenses. I paid them back over a year and a half, but they then gave me $800 for Christmas, so in essence, I only paid them back $1,200. Once a year, my parents will give me a red envelope for a holiday or my birthday, which usually contains $400-$800.

Day One

7:50 a.m. — Per usual, I roll out of bed less than 45 minutes before I have to be at work. Beauty routine: Brush hair. I recently purchased a (Drybar Super Lemon Drop) hairbrush for the first time in my life after my free brushes lost their bristles; it’s revolutionized my hair brushing game. Wash my face with a probiotic mangosteen cleanser and put on a blazer so that my top half is presentable in court. Pair with a FRNCH sheer polka-dotted top (thrifted), AG high-rise ankle jeans (not thrifted), and Robert Clergerie oxfords (thrifted). A silver lining about masking in public (in addition to the public health benefits) is that I no longer have to apply makeup because no one can see my face anyway.

8:30 a.m. — Arrive at work, make coffee, grab a handful of hard candies, and hop on a four-hour video conference with one of the collaborative courts my team co-founded. Discuss individual cases of clients involved in restorative justice and rehabilitative programs within the criminal justice system. Court commences and the judge calls clients up to the stand one by one. I know you’re not supposed to have favorites, but one of my fave chronically homeless clients just found permanent housing and his cheek-to-cheek smile is killing me.

2 p.m. — It’s a great day in that I’m flying through tasks and don’t have much time to contemplate my existence, let alone break to eat lunch. I place a Doordash order for four acai bowls — one to eat, three to freeze. I think this will be cost-effective except that I proceed to eat two of them. Feck. $46.63

4:30 p.m. — I get a center-wide email informing me that there is leftover catering — oven-baked chicken, collard greens, cornbread, and mac and cheese. I grab two boxed lunches for tomorrow.

5:20 p.m. — Drop by a client’s apartment to make sure he’s okay because he missed an appointment with me this afternoon. He’s fine, just had a spell of deep anxiety. I feel that. We reschedule.

6:30 p.m. — Head over to my boyfriend, T.’s, apartment and order Ethiopian food for dinner — two veggie combos and a bunch of injera. We watch Minari (which he pays for) and then I stay up an extra hour Googling everything about the director, Lee Isaac Chung, and wondering how such a gem of a human came into being. $43.44

Daily Total: $90.07

Day Two

9 a.m. — T. makes tea for two while I slowly wake up. We head out toward the farmer’s market, stopping by Blue Bottle first. I order a cappuccino with oat milk ($5 with tip). At the market, we grab lettuce, radishes, cabbage, fresh pasta, empanadas, lemons, and popcorn. As per usual, T. buys most of the groceries and I buy him flowers for his place. Last week it was fuzzy puffs of bright green dianthus; this week, it’s tulips splashed with orange and yellow ($10). I love the small luxury of buying flowers, which simultaneously necessitates an acceptance of the ephemeral. $15

12 p.m. — We walk to the lake to eat our empanadas and soak in some sun, then return home to eat our lunch boxes. My cat joins us when he smells the chicken.

3:30 p.m. — Seduce T. by taking off my clothes and walking into the living room, where he is reading, and loudly announcing that he is officially the only one in the house with clothes on. It works. We give each other massages and get intimate, which is great for my mental health and skin. I’m neurotic about a lot of things, but sex for me is a completely enjoyable activity where I feel in the moment and grounded in my body. Also doesn’t hurt that we discovered this divine massage candle (Maude) that melts into your skin and makes you smell like a fancy cookie. You can stop reading this and go order it now. I’ll wait.

6:30 p.m. — Dinner is tea leaf salad and farmer’s market Meyer lemon pappardelle. I’ve been really getting into Burmese tea leaf salads since I discovered that you can buy a DIY kit and then call yourself a person who eats salad.

8 p.m. — We watch another Lee Isaac Chung movie, Munyurangabo, which is free to stream. Also so good. I am infatuated with this director.

Daily Total: $15

Day Three

8 a.m. — Wake up, read the internet. T. makes us tea, I make us fried egg, avocado, and veggie breakfast sandwiches.

11 a.m. — T. is an introvert and I know he’d enjoy some time alone to read/workout/play music/take a work call, so I go out for a walk. I normally do this while listening to an audiobook, but I still have too many thoughts rolling around in my head from last night’s movie, so I put on music instead.

11:30 a.m. — Order a Starbucks grande soy caramel macchiato (free, with my star rewards) and head to the lake. Choose a patch of grass, smoke a joint, draw, listen to Ken Liu’s The Hidden Girl and Other Stories (he blows my mind even when I’m not high), and do some yoga (also normally self-conscious about this, except when stoned. Highly endorse stoned yoga).

1 p.m. — Next goal is to find some succulents for T.’s outdoor planter, which was decimated by a recent windstorm. Walk to my favorite flower shop which has a meh array of succulents this week. Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods are rocking echeveria and not much else. Decide to visit the SF Flower Market next week instead. Walk to a bakery, where I get a morning bun for myself, a corn cherry scone for T., plus a half dozen English muffins ($10.50). I finish off the morning bun by the time I’m at the lake again, and I still want more carbs, so I ask for a jollof rice and Diet Coke at the Liberian food truck. They only have regular Coke. Oh. I know they’ll have Diet Coke at the food truck with the bougie tacos, so I get it there ($9.80). $20.30

2 p.m. — Dear diary, jollof rice and Diet Coke was such a good decision.

2:15 p.m. — Glance at my phone. No texts from T. DOESN’T HE MISS ME YET?? I walk to Whole Foods to get some staples: marshmallows (I finished a bag last night while watching Munyurangabo), kombucha, chocolate, orange sorbets, and spiced chickpeas to put on future salads ($26.27). Considering how Amazon treats its workers, I feel bad supporting it by purchasing groceries through Whole Foods/having a Prime membership, and I’m still figuring out how to balance my personal values against the cost of cognitive/emotional labor. Real talk, I’m just not ready to give up how easy Amazon makes my life. Making these choices sometimes feels like a game you can’t win. $26.27

3 p.m. — T. texts me with an update about my cat. I am pleased.

4 p.m. — Home, sex, shower, dinner (mushroom ravioli and tea leaf salad). Run the dishwasher, (does anyone else love the sound of a running dishwasher? … no? Yeah, me neither), snuggle on the couch, and read until bedtime. I get the number of browser tabs on my phone from 42 down to 19.

7 p.m. — A client number shows up on my caller ID, but no voicemail is left. Acknowledging that my client’s lives don’t end at 5 p.m., I tell them that they may email/call me and leave a message. I’ll get back to them if it’s an emergency; otherwise, I’ll talk to them during normal business hours. This client was doing well on Friday, so I will leave it until tomorrow.

10:30 p.m. — My cat and I are falling asleep on T., so we go to bed.

Daily Total: $46.57

Day Four

7:30 a.m. — T. wakes me up with a mug of drinking chocolate. This is an acceptable reason to get out of bed. Splash my face with cold water to wake myself up. My eyebags are insane, I need to get more Kiehl’s midnight eye cream, that or take out my contacts once in a while.

8:10 a.m. — Work from home day. I head home and gas up my scooter along the way ($3.79). Bridge toll to get back into the city is $3. Read emails, quick team meeting, browse news/research articles relevant to my field, provide 1-1 supervision, sit in on a training, and make a few calls. $6.79

12:30 p.m. — Lunch. I have two Nespressos, arugula, avocado, and goat cheese salad with whole wheat bread, and two tangerines. Place a grocery order for delivery ($172.80) and remind myself that no matter how much money I spend on groceries, it’s still cheaper than DoorDash takeout, which I am ashamed to say I got six times last week (it was a week in which my housemates and I moved apartments, but still). $172.80

1 p.m. — Give myself a bang trim. I’ve done better and also worse. I would pay $0 for this trim which is exactly how much I paid, so I’m satisfied.

2 p.m. — Finish up performance evaluations for staff and schedule meetings with them to go over the evals. Email HR to see if we can get merit raises for exemplary team members. Not in our budget this year. Such is life in the public sector.

5 p.m. — Snack on frozen peach slices. But in the shower. The contrast of hot water and icy fruit is a refreshing treat.

5:30 p.m. — Unearth a Trader Joe’s Margherita pizza from the freezer. One of my housemates is lactose intolerant and the other is allergic to gluten, so this must have been left by a previous housemate. I assume I’m doing them a favor by liberating them of this pizza. Oh god, this expired in November 2017. On the other hand, frozen food does not expire and the longer I contemplate the date, the more it feels like a challenge, so it’s on. Read work emails while pizza bakes.

5:50 p.m. — This pizza is delicious?! The cheese to sauce ratio is excellent, and it has the umami delightfulness of a Bagel Bite. Also, free. Crust is a little stale (unsure if it would’ve been drastically different in 2017) but that can be remedied with a brush of olive oil. I top the pizza with homegrown basil leaves. I also have a glass of sparkling water with ginger syrup from my Soda Stream. A housemate purchased this for me after watching me dispatch a 12-pack of sparkling water in roughly three days.

7:30 p.m. — We are still not fully moved into our new place, so I accompany my housemates to our old apartment, help disassemble their wardrobes and haul them over. OMG, I just realized that I forgot a load of laundry in the washer over the weekend and it smells terrible. Cool, no one noticed. Rewash laundry.

Daily Total: $179.59

Day Five

7:40 a.m. — Slept terribly because I’m an idiot and kept a paper-wrapped pillar candle burning through the night, and the crackling of burning paper woke me up at 2 a.m. By now you’ve probably deduced that I use all my energy to pull myself together and appear competent at work. On the other hand, I don’t want to short-sell myself. I’m the youngest manager to be hired in my organization, ever. #notsohumblebrag

8:30 a.m. — Breakfast at my desk consists of coffee and a chocolate mint protein bar, carefully selected from my drawer of non-perishable foods. Everyone knows that my office is an open stockroom of snacks and fixer-uppers (dry shampoo, makeup/facial wipes, ibuprofen, etc.). Start working through emails, oversee client drop-ins, review referrals, provide 1-1 supervision, take a Zoom call.

12:45 p.m. — Lunch! I’ve been looking forward to this since Friday — defrost an acai bowl and polish it off. I eyeball the other bowl but leave it alone. Have a leftover cobb salad instead.

1:15 p.m. — My coworker is taking candy orders for her grandson’s preschool fundraiser. Philanthropic candy purchase? Shut up and take my money. I purchase a box of See’s Candies assorted lollipops. Spend the rest of the day training a new employee and going over client assignments with staff. $22.50

5:30 p.m. — Masked, socially distant hang out with my friend at the park. I run home to grab a bunch of snacks (crackers, cheese, raw veggies, guacamole, beer) for a picnic. She brings lawn chairs, bakery dim sum, and roasted spaghetti squash with homemade tomato sauce for me to have for lunch tomorrow. A keeper, obviously. We talk for four hours straight and watch the sunset.

Daily Total: $22.50

Day Six

8:30 a.m. — WFH day. Wake up late with a headache and hop onto a Zoom call with the camera off because my eye bags have eye bags and my hair is all over the place.

9:30 a.m. — Shower, have a Nespresso and banana, followed by client teletherapy sessions and supervision. Water all my plants in between calls. Why is my monstera philodendron browning at the edges? Please send thoughts and prayers.

2 p.m. — Lunch is kitchari with green harissa and my friend’s spaghetti squash. Also, another Nespresso. Someone baked my housemate a batch of gluten-free chocolate chip cookies. I snatch one.

3 p.m. — Team meeting for the rest of the day.

5:30 p.m. — Make a shared house dinner of tea leaf salad and cioppino with salmon and shrimp, another freezer find left behind by a previous housemate. Listen to Immunity by Eula Biss while cooking. Send silent gratitude to the housemate who departed without their frozen seafood. Should really send out a thank you card at this rate.

7 p.m. — Text T. to figure out hangout plans using communication skills learned in couples’ therapy last week. We both have some trauma from past relationships, plus different attachment styles informed by our upbringing, so we’re doing what we call preventative couples’ therapy. Practicing communication feels a lil awkward because it’s not organic, but the fact that we are both invested in building our relationship infuses me with a warm feeling. T. also texts me a photo update of my cat, which is 100% my preferred love language.

8 p.m. — Unbox more, smoke a joint, and dance around my room. I used to do work exchange at a dance company, but when life gives you a pandemic… Read a few pages of Lacan. Stoned reading is just behind stoned yoga in terms of entertainment value.

10 p.m. — Late night snack: honey ginger tea, sugar snap peas, hummus, and crackers. Also my housemate’s leftover dahl and peanut butter and raspberry jam. Maybe getting high right before bed is not the best idea.

Daily Total: $0

Day Seven

7:30 a.m. — Wake up with a stomach ache. Down a Nespresso and wash my bangs with a bit of dish soap in the kitchen sink since my housemate is showering. Throw on Levi’s (thrifted), a Rag & Bone tank top (thrifted), olive utility jacket (thrifted), and clover green converses (not thrifted; shoutout to our Madame VP!). My housemate texts me to remember my lunch. Amazingly, I had remembered to get it out of the fridge before the text. I am a goddess.

8 a.m. — Head to work where I dive into phone calls, followed by a three-hour stakeholder meeting. Have a coffee and banana while I’m working. Order my client who was recently released from jail an aromatherapy diffuser as a housewarming gift ($22.45, expensed).

1 p.m. — Half-hour break between meetings. Make more coffee and eat my lunch (kale/arugula salad with sprouts, radishes, cranberry chutney, nuts, seeds, and green goddess dressing). Venmo my housemate for his Costco run of shared household items (toilet paper, dish detergent, hummus, peanut butter, frozen fruit, greek yogurt, cheese, bananas, avocados, tangerines) plus some items I asked him to specifically pick up for me — matcha powder, Nespresso pods, tofu, non-dairy milk, canned fish. $84

4:50 p.m. — My friend texts to say she is starting a reading group focused around the book Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Maree Brown and asks if I want to join. Yes! She encourages me to purchase Brown’s novel from a local bookstore. I only ever need half a reason to make my way to a bookstore, so I put directions into my map and head out. Driving out of the city on my scooter makes the receding city skyline look like a little jeweled toy box. As a social worker, I tend to see my city’s ailments and heartbreaks on the daily, so zooming out (literally) for a bird’s eye view is a sweet break. Smell ya later, SF!

5:45 p.m. — Hello, new books. Walk out of the store with the prescribed book ($20) and a used copy of The Emperor of Water Clocks by Yusef Komunyakaa ($9). I also get a pencil that simply says John Waters on it ($2). Haaa. I have store credit from when I previously sold a batch of books, so the grand total is $0.

6:30 p.m. — Head to T.’s apartment. My stomach is still grumbly, so I make myself congee for dinner and (surprise) a tea leaf salad for T. to eat with his leftover curry. He surprises me in return with a few presents (a black currant & bergamot scented candle and a glass carafe because I have, for the past few months, been placing expensive candles and gorgeous water carafes in online carts and then abandoning them in cyberspace). Bah, what a sweetie.

8:30 p.m. — Slow melting into the couch to read and serve as a pillow for my cat, who plops himself between us. With the city lights winking outside and the dishwasher running, it’s my favorite time of day.

Daily Total: $84

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On April 27, photos of cult-fave and oft-memed actress Sarah Paulson circulated on social media. The images showed Paulson in character as Linda Tripp — the whistleblower involved in the Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky scandal of 1998, and a woman who happens to be plus-  size — for the upcoming season of American Crime Story: Impeachment. For her role, Paulson, who is straight-sized in real life, seemed to be wearing padding and facial prosthetics to make her appear fat (a word that’s been reclaimed by modern body positivity activists as a neutral descriptor, rather than an insult or derogatory slur). Paulson is a fantastic actress, an Emmy-award winner for American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpson; but why not just cast a fat actor to play the part of a fat character?

Every year it seems Hollywood takes another small step toward more on-screen diversity. Just last year, UCLA’s annual Hollywood Diversity Report revealed that film roles for women, and people of color in particular, were on the rise — at least on screen. (Behind the scenes is a much different story.) And according to the university’s 2021 study, audiences prefer diverse representation in their casts. Unfortunately, fat people are always left out of the conversation surrounding media representation. 

Hollywood has long had a poor reputation when it comes to problematic representation for fat people. On screen, fat characters always seem to linger on the periphery, but are rarely allowed to take up space in the center of the story. They also hardly ever seem to exist outside of certain stereotypes (lazy, loud) and tiresome archetypes, and are rarely if ever cast as the main character or even the love interest, Often, these characters are pigeonholed into villainous or comedic side roles (i.e. “the funny, fat friend,” a character trope that Rebel Wilson and Melissa McCarthy are surely familiar with). Frustratingly, this comedy is often rooted in the action of self-humiliation or physical humor based on one’s inherent fatness — or what I like to call, the mind-numbing “ha ha, fat person fall down” gag.

Even worse is the entertainment industry’s adoption of the dreaded fat suit: a weighted and padded bodysuit that gives the actor the appearance (and sometimes temporary experience) of being overweight or obese. Offenders include Mike Myers as the grotesque Fat Bastard in the Austin Powers series; Gwyneth Paltrow as Rosemary in Shallow Hal, a character that seems to exist solely to teach the male lead a lesson about inner beauty; and Chris Hemsworth as a version of Thor who has “let himself go” in Avengers: Endgame.

Often these characters serve as a warning (Adam Sandler as the future version of Michael in Click), an obstacle (Eddie Murphy as Rasputia in Norbit), a worst case scenario (Topher Grace as an “obese” Eric on That ‘70s Show), or a reminder of an unwanted or traumatic past (Julia Roberts in a flashback as Kiki in America’s Sweethearts; Courteney Cox as “fat Monica” in Friends flashbacks). Being fat isn’t inherently good or bad, though, so why is it always presented as the ultimate failure on screen?

Discrimination against fat people is so normalized in society that we often fail to recognize what it looks like.

It’s not just the way these characters are represented that hurts fat people in the long run. These insulting suits, which are often paired with facial and other prosthetics, are dehumanizing to actual fat people who can’t just slip out of their fatness — and their very real lived experiences as fat people — at the end of the day. They cannot peel away the prejudice they face on a daily basis. Plus, when roles for fat characters go to thin or straight-sized actors, talented and dynamic fat actors, up-and-coming or otherwise, are left out, resulting in a loss of potential income and opportunities that only perpetuate the real-life systemic marginalization and oppression of fat people. And yes, fat people are oppressed. 

Discrimination against fat people is so normalized in society that we often fail to recognize what it looks like: It’s the shrinking size of seats on commercial airlines, resulting in stress and upcharges for plus size passengers. It’s the two measly racks of dowdy, overly expensive extended-size clothing in the far back of the department store. It’s the throwaway fat joke in the children’s movie that quietly creates a harmful stigma. It’s the lack of career opportunities and pay disparity due to an employer’s perception that fat equals slothful or inept. It’s the dangerous implicit bias some doctors carry against overweight patients, particularly women, which can result in misdiagnosis or even death. 

When fat people are poorly represented on screen or treated as costumes for non-fat actors, they’re not just being willfully excluded or made the punchline of a tired joke. They’re being actively harmed by a hostile system that upholds the status quo and makes it okay to mistreat those whose bodies don’t fit the conventionally attractive or socially acceptable mold. Because when fat people aren’t seen as real people, they aren’t treated like real people.

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My first New York City apartment was pretty dismal. My room could barely fit a full bed and a dresser, and the walls badly needed a fresh coat of paint. But what I remember most is that through those walls, which seemed to be made of construction paper, I frequently heard my neighbors going at it. 

The sound of their bed springs screaming — er eek er eek er eek! — was the soundtrack to my first year in the big city. Thankfully, I’ve since moved out. But with “the horniest summer of all time” on the horizon, I have a feeling that many of us are going to be hearing those same squeaks and moans all season long.

As I began to read more about how randy everyone would be in the coming months as more vaccine shots went into arms (“gotta get vaxxed to climax, gotta get pricked down to get dicked down,” one internet poet tweeted), I began to notice a narrative that annoyed me more than my former neighbors ever did. It wouldn’t just be the new summer of love (making), but a season of sexual transmitted infections (STIs), outlets such as Telegraph UK predicted. 

It wasn’t the predictions that bothered me — I’d talked to experts who agreed that a summer of increased sex could bring the potential for more STIs spreading. But the delivery got on my nerves. The “summer of STIs” was pitched as a sort of terrifying reality, one more thing to worry about after more than a year of staying inside to protect ourselves from COVID-19. And it felt shaming, too. After all, one in two sexually active people under 25 will contract an STI at some point, “ho girl summer” or not. Human papillomavirus will impact more than 80% of sexually active people in their lifetimes. 

It’s true that some STIs, such as gonorrhea and chlamydia — which, like the coronavirus, often spread asymptomatically — can negatively impact health, especially when left untreated. And, of course, education that encourages regular testing and safer sex practices is essential. But speaking about STIs in stigmatizing ways isn’t helping anyone, and in fact can keep people from getting tested or treated. 

So before you start freaking out about the so-called summer of STIs, check out what the experts are saying about what the next few months mean for our collective sexual health.

Will it really be the summer of STIs? 

Many experts agree that this will be the summer of sex. “I think there will be an uptick in sex because when you take away people’s autonomy and freedom and put restrictions on their behavior, they’re going to eventually go in the opposite direction,” says Emily Morse, PhD, host of the podcast Sex With Emily. “After being locked down and social distancing for over a year, people are going all out and saying free love, free sex.” 

But that doesn’t necessarily have to mean a summer of STIs, says Jill McDevitt, PhD, a sex educator and resident sexologist for CalExotics. Especially not if people implement safer sex practices. “Hopefully people can do it responsibly,” Dr. Morse agrees. “You can still be out there free-loving and make sure it’s not the summer of STIs. You prevent it.”

It’s worth noting that STI prevalence reached an all-time high in the U.S. for the sixth consecutive year in 2019, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released this month. Some experts have predicted these numbers will dip in 2020, since people weren’t dating or hooking up as much in quarantine. People may also have been avoiding non-essential doctors’ visits in the last year, and therefore were getting tested less often, Dr. Morse notes. But we don’t have the official CDC figures for 2020 yet. 

How to stay sexually safe this summer

First: COVID-19. Before sleeping with someone outside of your household, ensure both you and your partner are fully vaccinated, or have followed the guidelines for unvaccinated people before seeing each other. 

Then, before getting down to business, ask any potential sexual partners when they were last tested for STIs. This talk can be a little awkward, but it’s crucial. And luckily, we’ve all probably had some practice having tough conversations about testing and protection during the pandemic. “During the pandemic, we were forced to look at our health and be our own best advocates,” Dr. Morse explains. Now, we can bring this philosophy into our sex lives. 

The idea that the pandemic may change how we approach safer sex conversations isn’t without precedent. The HIV epidemic, for instance, changed how people in the LGBTQ+ community, especially gay and bisexual men, talked about testing and history. As Anu Hazra, the director of STI services at the Chicago Center for HIV Elimination, told BuzzFeed News: “I feel like a lot of cisgender, heterosexual folks were having discussions around status and protection and history, and asking these questions that I think a lot of queer folks have been comfortable asking for a long time around HIV and STIs.”

Dr. Morse suggests saying something like this: “Hey, this is a little awkward for me, but I’m trying to adopt a new protocol. I’ve been sexually healthy, I’ve recently been tested, and I’d be happy to show you those results. Can you share where you’re at with all this?” If your potential partner is not willing to share this information, you can choose not to have sex with them. “The more people have this conversation before sex, the more people will start to expect that this conversation is a requirement if you care about your sexual health,” she adds. 

If you have an STI, such as HPV or herpes simplex virus, the conversation will be a little different. “You can say, ‘Listen, I want you to know I have herpes.’ Tell them if you have outbreaks at certain times of year, or only once a year, or if you haven’t had an outbreak in a long time. Say something like, ‘I know when it’s going to happen and take a daily suppressant, which makes it less likely for me to spread this to you, I just want you to know that. Do you have any questions?’, Dr. Morse suggests. This can be nerve-wracking, because although HPV and herpes are common, they’re often misunderstood and stigmatized. “If someone has an STI that’s being treated, those people are often much safer to get in bed with than people who won’t even look at it or get tested,” Dr. Morse says. If someone’s a jerk about your disclosure, they’re probably uneducated on the topic — and, most likely, not worth your time. 

“STIs are more common than we think, but what isn’t common is the conversations about it that will help us normalize it,” Dr. Morse adds. There will be times when people won’t be able to see past this issue, and that may be disappointing. But even in those cases, you can know that you’ve done the right thing and have prioritized your and your potential partner’s health. Which is a win. 

Finally, regardless of how this conversation goes, it’s also a good idea to use condoms or dental dams with new partners (until you’ve had a conversation about how to safely fluid-bond), to wash your sex toys after every use, to visit the OB-GYN regularly, and to get tested for STIs at least once a year (now’s a good time!). As a longer-term strategy, you can also protect yourself by getting the HPV vaccine, which is now available to folks up to age 45 and protects against the most dangerous strains of HPV, which can lead to cervical cancer. 

What to know if you test positive for an STI

If you test positive for an STI this summer, you won’t be alone. All it means is that “you’re human,” says Emily L. Depasse, a sex educator based in Pennsylvania. “But there are a lot of resources out there. If you’re feeling any shame or stigma, it likely stems from a place of miseducation.” 

Be compassionate toward yourself, and take steps to re-learn facts about your own STI. Seek out fact-based resources. Depasse recommends the Something Positive for Positive People podcast-turned-nonprofit, the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA), and the Positive Results herpes support group. It’s also worth listening to sex and culture critic Ella Dawson’s TED Talk. Much of what we’re taught in media and in school (if we’re taught about STIs at all) sounds scary and can lead to unnecessary shame. “With learning, there’s often unlearning,” Depasse says. “You think it’ll never happen to you, and then when it does you’re like, ‘Oh crap.’ You go through an identity crisis, ‘Am I this person?’ But know it’s not a determinant of who you are. It’s biology. And it happens.” 

As we learned with COVID-19, shaming people does nothing to change behavior, and shaming someone for contracting an STI certainly doesn’t help anything either, Depasse says. If a recent sexual partner calls you and tells you to get tested, try to avoid pointing fingers. Get tested as soon as possible, and if you do test positive, follow your doctor’s treatment plan. 

Whether “ho girl summer” ends up being real or not, remember that your STI status doesn’t define you — and that the more on top of your sexual health you are, the safer and happier you’ll be. 

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While no one (grounded in reality) would hold it against you in assuming there are very few “good guys” in the White House at any one time, there’s at least one Good Boy (in training) hanging out in the nation’s most powerful office — and he’s preparing for some company. Major Biden, the younger of President Joe Biden and First Lady Dr. Jill Biden’s two German Shepherds, is preparing to undergo some special training before he’s introduced to the newest member of the Biden family: the first feline. 

“She’s waiting in the wing,” Dr. Biden told NBC’s TODAY show co-anchor Craig Melvin of the family’s latest four-legged friend, an incoming cat sibling. Meanwhile, Major has already started his feline-friendly training. “They took him into a shelter with cats,” Dr. Biden explained. “He did fine.” 

Major, a 3-year-old rescue dog adopted by the Biden family in November 2018 from a Delaware animal shelter, has had a somewhat difficult time adjusting to life in the White House. In early March, Major “nipped” a secret service agent. Luckily, no skin was broken, a secret service agent said at the time, and the incident was described as “extremely minor.” 

“Champ and Major, the president and first lady’s dogs, members of the family, are still getting acclimated and accustomed to their surroundings and new people,” White House press secretary Jen Psaki said during a press conference on March 9. “And on Monday, the first family’s younger dog, Major, was surprised by an unfamiliar person and reacted in a way that resulted in a minor injury to the individual, which was handled by the White House medical unit with no further treatment needed. It had been previously planned already for the dogs to be cared for by family friends in Delaware during Dr. Biden’s travels to military bases this week — she has a three-day trip this week — and the dogs will return to the White House soon.”

Then, later in the same month, Major bit a National Park Service employee while on the South Lawn of the White House. The employee required medical treatment from the White House medical unit, according to CNN reporting, “out of an abundance of caution.” But to Major Biden’s credit, this is all new to him, he’s just trying to see what’s what, and that guy probably had it coming?

Leigh Dempsey, a certified professional dog trainer and owner of the dog shelter Major was adopted from, told CNN’s Anderson Cooper that most dogs who enter a new home experience three days of high stress and need to sleep and relax, then it takes another three weeks before they begin to acclimate and trust their environment and an additional three months before they show their true personality. 

“It’s important to think about Major being well within those first three months — I think maybe only two months he’s been in the White House — so he’s right smack dab in the middle of that acclimation phase,” she said. “So that’s a big component to consider.”

As for how long it will take for Major to get used to the newest four-legged member of the family, that remains to be seen. One thing is for certain, though: There’s no denying that despite a few “incidents,” Major is and always has been a Good Boy. 

“He’s such a sweet, lovable dog,” Dr. Biden said. “He really is.”

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If you need proof of the transformational power of eyebrows, allow Kim Kardashian to provide a visual. You might think that you’d recognize the SKIMS founder and reality-show star by her other facial features, but when those black, sculpted arches disappear into her forehead — Kardashian is fully incognito.

On a recent photoshoot, Kardashian and her hair and makeup team got creative with the glam. “Guess what the set vibes are today?” Kardashian teased in an Instagram Story, wearing her black hair in pigtail braids with white dye painted across her eyebrows. The following slides revealed the bleached-out brows — which are definitely a vibe.

“It’s really cute, guys,” Kardashian narrated her selfie, showing fans the in-process look. “My bleached brows, I’m into it. Can’t wait to show you guys the final look.”

She didn’t just stop at her brows, though. Kardashian West’s onset hairstylist Jesus Guerrero added a matching platinum wig, which took the glam up a notch, making Kim fully unrecognizable. To finish, makeup artist Ariel Tejada gave her a winged smoky eye, lots of lashes, some blush, and a heavily-lined lip moment.

The transformation was short-lived — Kardashian West has already gone back to black hair and brows. But still, it’s fun to see models and celebrities try the whole bleached-brow aesthetic, whether it inspires us to try the bold look or just reminds us how important filled-in, face-framing brows are.

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“We’re still here,” Kathryn Boyd-Batstone, the filmmaker behind For Rosa, tells Refinery29, referencing our nation’s lack of progress when it comes to reproductive justice. Premiering May 1 on HBO, the short film follows the story of one Latina and her decision to become part of the Madrigal 10, a group of mothers who filed a class-action lawsuit against L.A. County-USC Medical Center in the 1970s, helping to define informed consent and stop the hospital’s eugenics-informed practice of forced sterilizations of women of color.

Although For Rosa takes place some 50 years ago, forced sterilization is hardly a thing of the past. Last year, it was reported that ICE was performing mass hysterectomies on migrant women at one of its Georgia detention centers. The year before, Indigenous women in Canada joined together to sue the country’s national health system, citing documented cases of sterilization occurring up until as recently as 2018. In California, 1,400 women, most of them Black, were forcibly sterilized in prisons between 1997 and 2014. Puerto Rico is still dealing with the legacy of mass sterilizations and the continued disparities around reproductive justice.

Whether forced sterilizations are happening in California, Canada, the Czech Republic, or China, they represent a kind of genocide, a way to kill a people quietly while pretending to offer patients medical care. 

For Rosa brings this heartbreaking reality to life. The film takes us back to what happened in Los Angeles when doctors performed tubal litigations on Latinas, specifically mothers undergoing emergency C-sections, targeting them because of their vulnerability and the fact that they were already getting surgery. Sometimes doctors performed these sterilizations without the patient’s knowledge or consent or after coercing women with tactics like withholding pain medication until the mothers-to-be gave their permission for the procedure. According to Boyd-Batstone, the hospital in question in the 1978 Madrigal v. Quilligan case had gotten a “$2 billion grant to help with family-planning and ‘help’ with the rates of Black and brown families in the area.” They did it using English-only forms and nurses with limited Spanish proficiency, pretending that was enough for women many of whom were in active labor to give informed consent. This was during a time in American history when fears of “welfare queens” taking too many resources, Latinas and other women of color having too many babies, and low-income women of color generally taking advantage of the system abounded among many white people. 

While the judge ruled in favor of the doctors, the Madrigal 10 helped to change laws and practices. The California Department of Health revised its sterilization guidelines, and the California State Legislature repealed the state’s sterilization law. This was only possible thanks to the efforts put forth by these courageous women. These 10 Latinas, who’d been sterilized without their consent, risked stigma, shame, and violence to come forward and testify. Their young, Latina attorney Antonia Hernández didn’t let age or lack of resources stop her from taking on this complicated, important case. “She was 26 when she started the case, having just graduated from UCLA, working her first job at the legal aid office,” says Boyd-Batstone. “They weren’t really giving her funding, and she had the conviction to go up against the court system and defend [and organize] these women who are all older than her and have children.” 

For Rosa focuses on the women’s decision to take action, despite the risks involved. The film’s heroine Eva, played by Melinna Bobadilla, is a young mother who’s looking forward to having a second kid and feels the pressure to live up to her community’s expectations to have a big family. The filmmakers also paid attention to the discrimination faced by Black and brown women, portraying how women with darker skin and more Afro- or Indigenous features were targeted. Boyd-Batstone, a white woman, says she and Bobadilla had “a lot of discussion” about racism. Bobadilla shared her personal experiences as a Xicana in Hollywood. It was important to both of them that For Rosa was not another “story centered around trauma [and] disparity,” says Boyd-Batstone. Instead, it’s a humanizing look at one woman’s strength and impact: “It doesn’t matter what your opinions on reproductive justice or racism [are]. You can connect with [Eva],” adds the filmmaker.

This empathy is key to creating change. At the time, the Madrigal 10 was supported by a mass movement with rallies and protests, featuring Black and brown women on the posters, and magazine articles with titles like “Chicanos for Welfare.” Latinos were coming together to organize at a time in which society was criminalizing them. Together with a few whistleblowers at the hospital, this cross-racial group of plaintiffs, their attorney, activists, and organizers were able to make real change. They didn’t eradicate white fears about changing demographics or even win their court case, but they did make California change its system to better protect the rights of women of color. 

For Rosa ends before the court case begins, but Boyd-Batstone reveals she is working on a feature-length film to bring the story of the Madrigal 10 to even more people. As forced sterilizations continue and women’s sexual and reproductive health remains in jeopardy, we need to share these narratives of how individuals and communities came together and made real change. If we forget the history of the Madrigal 10, it’s at our own peril. 

Speaking about her granddaughter, one of the real-life Madrigal 10 women Consuelo Hermosillo told NPR, “I want her to have liberty in doing what she wants, going to school wherever she wants, [deciding] how many kids she wants.” It’s a simple wish, and one we are still failing to achieve for far too many women of color.

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Of all the changes we’ve experienced this year, the blending of home and workspace is probably the most physically, emotionally, and philosophically overwhelming. Once upon a time, the majorly urban professional class poured energy into maximizing their mornings – squeezing in workouts, coffee-making, skincare, and outfit-picking, before commuting to arrive at their offices fully dressed and mentally optimized, ready to take on the day.

Now we roll out of bed, propping ourselves in front of our laptops in varying stages of reluctant undress – working in pajamas, or a business mullet (professional up top, nothing on the bottom). The line between awake and asleep, at home and at work is beyond blurred at this point. Often for worse, but there might be just one instance where it changed for the better. Over the course of a year, for instance, I’ve noticed our readers reliably flock to a certain kind of story around lunchtime, then again around 3:00 p.m. EST (lunchtime on the West Coast). Stories like “Free Erotic Fiction & Literotica Sex Stories Online” and “Sexual Fantasies – Kinky Sex Ideas for Real Women,” that some loyal readers seem to have in open incognito tabs or even bookmarked to cue up when they take a break.

The only reasonable assumption to make? A lot of people are masturbating during the workday. 

And why not? It’s never been easier to squeeze in a nooner. That said, don’t let the Jeffrey Toobin incident give you the wrong idea. We’re talking about adults having solo fun in the privacy of their own homes, away from the work laptop, in between Zoom calls instead of during them.

Beatrize*, a 28-year old underwriter at an insurance company, first discovered the benefits of midday masturbation shortly after ordering a sex toy with phenomenal reviews. Once it arrived in the mail, she realized nothing was stopping her from testing it out right then and there. As she settled into a work-from-home lifestyle, she learned that masturbating was the perfect remedy to a stressful phone call or an especially trying meeting. “I found it almost immediately gives me a mood boost and allows me to refocus and not let the negative experience impact my whole day,” she says. 

Some people go on a silly little walk. They fetch lunch around the corner or walk their dogs in the middle of the workday to decompress. We can nap during our lunch break, or squeeze in a workout, or watch an episode of a TV show — or triple-check to make sure our laptop camera is off, and have a toe-curling orgasm. Yes, it is technically the workday, which can make the prospect sound a little awkward at first. But the stresses of work are already spilling into our homes, often our bedrooms. Why shouldn’t we take advantage of the relief and relaxation we can only access at home during the workday too?

Amy*, a 23-year-old working in music licensing, uses her lunch break or any other kind of natural pause during the workday for her new routine. Sometimes it happens every day; other weeks are busier and only allow for a handful of sessions. “It’s definitely spontaneous,” she says, “but I try to do it when there’s a break in the action at work and I know I’m not going to be wanking to the sound of me ignoring my boss’s phone calls.”

“At first I was paranoid,” Beatrize says, explaining that she, like Amy, was worried that she’d get a work call the moment she stepped away from her desk. “Then I realized nobody is micromanaging me and I should just let go and enjoy things.” She adds that she has some rules about how and when she does it: “Nothing more than 12 minutes, because after 15 minutes my computer falls asleep and changes my status that is visible to the rest of the company.”

Masturbation is one of those extremely common and human things that are too ubiquitous to ignore, but often too taboo to acknowledge. Work video calls show our coworkers what our private lives look like, who we live with, how our pets move, and how our children act. We show our coworkers how we dress at home, and our Zoom backgrounds reveal so much more than anyone ever intended to reveal to a coworker. While we once commiserated over the quality of the office coffee or the freezing AC at work, now we exchange our experiences adapting to days spent working where we live. But this is one new habit that people are mostly keeping to themselves — with some exceptions. “There’s a huge age gap between me and some of my colleagues so I would say it’s taboo to admit,” Beatrize says. “However my coworker who is my age knows… and I believe she has done the same as well!”

If our traffic numbers reveal anything, it’s that more people than you might think are enjoying… themselves around lunchtime. And if your reaction to that news is to be sickened or outraged — maybe it’s because you’re missing out.

*Some names have been changed.

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Stone Foltz, 20, did what countless students have done many times throughout their collegiate career: attended a fraternity party in the hopes that he would soon become a member, accepted by his fraternity brothers, or “bigs.” But three days later, on March 7, Foltz died in a nearby hospital. The cause? A fatal level of alcohol consumed during a hazing incident.

Now, eight current and former students of Bowling Green State University and members of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity have been charged with various felony and misdemeanor crimes, including felony involuntary manslaughter, misdemeanor hazing, tampering with evidence, and reckless homicide, according to a report from CBS News. 

“Bowling Green State University is appreciative of the hard work and diligence done by the prosecutor and a grand jury to seek justice and hold those accountable in the tragic death of student Stone Foltz,” the school said in a statement.

According to Wood County prosecuting attorney Paul Dobson, who spoke during a press conference on Thursday, Foltz attended an off-campus fraternity party on March 4. The party was meant to be part of a “process to initiate new members who would be introduced to their fraternity big brothers.” It was there that the new members, most of whom were underage, according to CBS, were given a bottle of alcohol and told they must consume all of it — approximately 750 milliliters. Dobson says Foltz drank nearly all of the bottle, then was taken home by several fraternity members, including his assigned “big,” Jacob Krinn. 

The members left Foltz alone until his roommate found him. His roommate called first responders and started to perform CPR prior to their arrival. Foltz was transported to the nearest hospital, where he died three days later. 

“Obviously, I want this to be the only and last time that this type of case is prosecuted in Wood County,” Dobson said during Thursday’s press conference. “And please, God, let it be the last time that it’s prosecuted in the United States.”

The latest tragic hazing incident is far from the first to occur on college campuses across the country. According to a 2008 national study, 73% of students involved or hoping to be involved in fraternities and sororities “experienced behaviors meeting the definition of hazing in order to join or maintain membership.” The most common type of hazing, according to the same study, is participating in drinking games or binge drinking. 

Krinn, who took Foltz home and left him alone, is the only student or former student to be charged with first-degree manslaughter as he was “more directly involved in the incident.” He is also charged with felony assault. If found guilty, Krinn faces upwards of 19 years in prison for both crimes. The seven additional defendants face a slew of charges, ranging from third-degree felony manslaughter to obstructing justice, all of which carry a maximum of three years in prison. Currently, none of the eight defendants have been detained but have, instead, received a summons to appear in court on May 19. 

“We are living every parent’s worst nightmare and will not be at peace until fraternity hazing is seen for what it truly is — abuse,” Foltz’s family said in a statement to CBS Ohio affiliate WTOL. “It’s unacceptable, and in Stone’s case, it was fatal. How many injuries and deaths will it take for people in positions of power to do the right thing?”

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