I've come to really like these Rubato chinos, but it’s worth saying from the outset that they're not the originals. I had them narrowed after a few weeks, as I found the leg too wide. The change was mostly in the thigh, which went from 33.5... > Read more
When I was 15, I thought that by the time I turned 25 I’d be a successful, confident, grown adult. I pictured myself traveling the world; I also figured I’d be making a ton of money. Unfortunately, neither of those things are true. In fact, in many ways I feel less like I know what I’m doing at 25 than I did at 15.
Some refer to this as a quarter-life crisis: an introspective time filled with existential dread and unanswerable questions about the meaning and purpose of life that usually occurs during our mid-to-late 20s (assuming we’ll live to be 100, I guess). While it’s not as well-known as the mid-life crisis, people have been talking about the quarter-life crisis for decades. But some experts are saying that the historic pandemic we’ve been living through for the past 14-plus months has made this particular stage of life even more stressful.
For the past year, we’ve experienced insurmountable loss — including the loss of life, loss of jobs, and loss of security, which Caitlin Arthur, MA, MHC says has created a kind of crisis on its own. “The quarter-life crisis is a period of general uncertainty,” she tells Refinery29, adding that “the pandemic is, by definition, also a period of uncertainty.” During a quarter-life crisis, people tend to question their career direction, experience relational difficulties — whether with a romantic partner or with family or friends — and feel financial stress, she says. COVID-19 has brought all of those areas of life to the forefront as well, and taken away our sense of control over our lives. Which begs the question: Aren’t we all kind of experiencing the symptoms of a quarter-life crisis right now?
Angela Mastrogiacomo thinks so. “There’s almost this rush to figure it all out — and very quickly — which is how I remember feeling when I was in my mid-to-late 20s,” the founder of The Blossom Agency and Muddy Paw PR, tells Refinery29. “But now at 32, almost 33, I’m experiencing it all again in a completely different way.”
Instead of grappling with the idea of what to do with her undergrad degree or what city to move to, Mastrogiacomo is questioning whether her decade-long career choice is still right for her — and what the future could look like. “For 15 years, I was always like no, I’m never having kids,” she says. But something in the past year had caused her to change her mind. “I was trying to trace back to where that switch happened for me in the pandemic, and I’m not even sure. It’s just one of those things that I think through the fear, the anxiety, the being stuck inside, the sort of reevaluating things as you do when this major world event is going on, I started rethinking that part of it,” she says. “That was very strange and really alarming to me, because my whole identity — really a big part of it — was wrapped up in [not having kids], and then all of a sudden I was like, Wait, who am I? I was freaked out by it.”
Arthur says that the feelings being brought up by the pandemic is singularly similar to the quarter-life crisis — which, while similar to the midlife crisis, is in many ways still distinct. While the the former tends to be present- and forward-focused (a fear of falling behind or not meeting goals), the latter tends to be past-focused, and is characterized by a period of reflection on past accomplishments and sadness or insecurity around aging. One common thread that many people have expressed this past year is the sensation of losing time, or that time is running out, which is “a really common thought for people to have when they’re in this quarter-life crisis,” Arthur says. “When our lives are put on pause for a year, truly in every sense of the word, people feel like there’s no movement so that really exacerbates the issue.”
So, we’re all going through it — but actually being in your mid-20s right now can be uniquely challenging. A significant amount of young adults moved back into their childhood homes due to the pandemic. We’re not able to freely see our friends, or meet new people or work contacts during a time of life that’s usually particularly social. And the lack of travel, even just to and from our offices or our friends houses or really anywhere, has made us feel stuck and immobile, tied to the computer screen as we work, or look for work. And that ties into one of the main culprits of the quarter-life crisis: job security. Any notion we held that hard work equals career security has been smashed. Instead, the pandemic has made us realize that the dream job is dead and we’re better off prioritizing our lives over our nine-to-fives.
It sounds bleak, and in a way, it is. But the uncertainty we’re all feeling can point us towards something worthwhile: growth. “The beginning of the pandemic was so filled with anxiety that it was almost immobilizing in a lot of ways,” Mastrogiacomo says. “But I think it was a catalyst for rethinking all these things.”
If you’re experiencing the feelings of a quarter-life crisis at any age, there are ways to get out of it — or at least, get through it. Therapy can be useful, if you have access, Arthur says. “It’s so helpful to talk to somebody just to help with perspective,” she says. But she’s also a huge advocate for spending less time on social media. “Looking at other peoples’ highlight reels really does not help when we’re already feeling behind or like we should be farther along than we are,” Arthur says. Along the same lines, she suggests starting to take inventory of your accomplishments more often, to counteract the internal monologue telling you that you’re off-track. Finally, talk to other people who are going through the same experience as you, and try out new hobbies or volunteering, Arthur says. “For a lot of people, they work for eight hours a day, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, and do it all over again,” Arthur says, “so trying to create a more robust day to day life can be really helpful.”
Whether you want to call this period of uncertainty and existentialism a collective quarter-life crisis, an early mid-life crisis, or just a crisis in general, the one thing to remember — and maybe find comfort in — is that we’re not alone in this feeling of being lost. “I think we’re all trying to figure it out and I think, like everybody, I wish [the pandemic] had never happened,” Mastrogiacomo says. “This is horrible. It’s been devastating, it’s been everything awful you could imagine, but if I had to look at the silver lining I’d say that my life is going to look completely different than it would have — and I’m better off for it.”
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Wende Zomnir‘s love of Prince goes back to when she was a child in the ’80s. Like millions of devoted fans, Prince was “everything” to the Urban Decay founder. “My sister and I were completely obsessed with Prince,” Zomnir tells Refinery29. “His music, the way he dresses, the way he did his makeup — we tried to copy him in every way.”
Fans and observers would concur: Prince was legendary, and the impact that artists like him leave behind stay with fans forever. A makeup collection honoring the late performer has always been on Zomnir’s wishlist. Today, that dream is a reality: The Urban Decay x Prince limited collection is here, and features two palettes, kajal eyeliner, a highlighter, powder, and a multitasker brush, all outfitted in Prince’s “love” symbol. Fans can sign up to pre-order the collection on May 21 before the full vault is available on on May 27 at UrbanDecay.com. All items in the line will be available at all online retailers on June 6.
The collection is where eclectic meets everyday wear: Each palette is decked out with pans of purple, Prince’s signature shade, and other shimmery colors so you can get funky. You’ll also get to pick from a multi-purpose illuminator that goes on smooth so that you can layer it under or over makeup. Kohl eyeliner might make it into your daily makeup routine, or you can smoke it out like Prince did on stage if you’re feeling extra. There’s room for experimenting with looks or hanging onto each item as a collectible.
In today’s world, celebrity beauty collaborations can feel like fast fashion. Zomnir knew that precise attention to detail would be critical in delivering a collection, two years in the making, in Prince’s honor. “This wasn’t a situation of slapping assets on products,” she says. “We were able to work with his friends who helped us bring something beautiful to life.” The brand got direct support from Prince’s Estate to craft and curate every detail in the collection, down to its stunning campaign imagery starting Prince’s muse Damaris Lewis as the face. “We have been talking about this with the Estate for a long time, and it became a matter of finding the right timing,” Zomnir explains. “It’s been an ongoing conversation because it always felt so right.
While Prince’s Estate remains unsettled following the star’s death five years ago, the team played a significant role in making sure he was celebrated in every facet of the collection. “The coolest part of working with the Prince Estate is that we got to tap into his artistic camp,” Zomnir says. “We got to work with his creative director Trevor Guy and his muse and dancer Demaris Lewis, and his photographer Randee Saint Nicholas shot everything for the campaign.” Prince’s legacy is also present throughout each product name, with hues named after his biggest hits like “When Doves Cry” (reflective ivory) and “Raspberry Beret” (a shimmery Bordeaux).
For Urban Decay, makeup is just one component of why this collaboration is important. Zomnir hopes that beauty enthusiasts come for the pigmented colors and blendable formulas, but stay for the gifts from Prince’s decades-long career. “People are going to go back to the music and back to the photos and appreciate how he dressed, how he did his makeup, and how he was all about owning who you are,” she says. “Back then, that was a crazy ideal, and now in 2021, it’s considered standard. Prince really opened that door for self-expression.”
It’s a full-circle moment for Urban Decay, a brand that has been championing self-expression through makeup since the mid-’90s. “When we [Urban Decay] came on the scene, it was no longer about aspiring to look like this perfect blonde-haired, blue-eyed white woman,” Zomnir says. “We helped people aspire to be like themselves, and Prince did that for me and generations of people.”
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
I don’t know if you remember, but last summer Grant and I spent quite a significant amount of time at Lake Arrowhead. After really studying the area the Leavitt family invested in a property here.
I just realized that I never really made this announcement on my blog {only on Instagram}! Sorry guys! This last year was absolutely insane and between our choice to move our Los Angeles house and start work on this Lake Arrowhead house, I kind of dropped the ball on posting about it to my blog and not just Instagram.
While our new house is wrapping up on construction, we have been hiding up here in my little slice of heaven. I cannot begin to tell you how much I absolutely love coming up to the lake. It’s a quick drive from LA and I envision us bringing June up here for many, many years to come.
One of the most exciting things about this gorgeous house was that it needed a little bit of a facelift and Grant and I were put in charge of the entire project from start to finish! We immediately enlisted in our girl, Martha Mulholland, to wave her magic wand over the main floor.
Over the winter season, we remodeled the kitchen and gave the living room spaces, dining room and master bedroom a face lift. We also added in a “bunk room” which is my absolute favorite room in the house.
As we are slowly wrapping up on furniture deliveries, light fixture installations and putting the finishing touches on our lake house project, I’ll be sharing more reveals here {starting on Monday!}. In the meantime, I wanted to share a few photos and inspiration photos for the space.
Can’t wait to share more soon!
Martha Mulholland designed the below schemes for each room in the house. I cannot wait to show you the full reveal soon!
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – NOVEMBER 22: In this image released on November 22, Laverne Cox attends the 2020 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 22, 2020 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre /AMA2020/Getty Images for dcp)
The international release of Emerald Fennell’s revenge thriller Promising Young Woman was postponed amid outrage that a male voice actor was hired to dub the voice of actress Laverne Cox in the Italian-language version of the film. According to The Guardian, the now-restricted film used a “distinctively masculine tone” when Cox’s character Gail talks to Carrie Mulligan’s Cassie in the film’s Italian trailer. Cox’s voice was dubbed by Roberto Pedicini, a cisgender man and Italian voice actor who has done dubbing work over the voices of actors like Jim Carrey and Woody Harrelson.
Italian viewers immediately expressed outrage over the move, which Italian trans actor and voice actor Vittoria Schisano called “insulting” and “a straight-up act of violence” in an interview with The Guardian. “I’d feel bullied if I were [Cox],” she said.
Universal Pictures International apologized for the choice but didn’t offer much of an explanation as to why they used a male actor to dub Cox’s voice in the first place. “We are deeply grateful to Laverne and the transgender community for opening our eyes to a bias that neither we nor many in our industry had recognized,” a spokesperson said in a statement to Variety.
The statement added that the studio is redubbing Cox’s voice with a woman’s voice and is pushing back release dates until the issue is amended. “We are sorry for the pain caused but are thankful that we can address the situation on this film and prevent similar mistakes from happening again on future projects.”
Still, the studio’s decision to use a male voice actor to dub over a trans woman’s voice is a harmful, transphobic casting decision. It’s also not the first time that Universal used a male actor to dub for one of Cox’s characters, using a cis male voice actor for her role as Sophia Burset in Orange Is The New Black, as well as for her appearances on The Mindy Project.
When Refinery29 spoke with Cox about Promising Young Woman last year, she highlighted some of the film’s themes of accountability and taking back personal power. “I am insanely grateful that I got to be a part of this film and that this film exists,” she said. “And the questions [the film] brings up around accountability, how we deal with trauma and grief, and how we empower ourselves are at the center of this story and narrative. And now is the time to be having these conversations.”
Cox has not publicly commented on the Italian film’s dubbing, but the casting directors who created this whole violent mess might learn a thing or two about taking responsibility, being accountable to trans people, and centering trans voices in the future.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
