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How to Get Her to Give You Another Shot

Sometimes in a relationship, you're not sure how to phrase a delicate subject or tricky topic. Sure, saying nothing at all is easy, but avoiding the subject doesn't do anyone any good. Awkward Conversations provides you with a template for what to say — and what not to say — and why, so you can have those difficult discussions without them turning into full-blown fights.

Sometimes, you go on a date with someone promising, but factors out of your control have it fizzling out real fast. Maybe it’s the fact that you picked a noisy restaurant, leaving the two of you to scream at each other across the table, or you were just feeling under the weather after a particularly frustrating work day. 

Whatever the reason, you didn’t immediately click, and now your date isn’t interested in a second one. Luckily for you, here are some handy tips on how to get them to give you another chance. 

1. Consider What Went Wrong

First, you need to assess where the date went wrong. That way, you can address it in your follow-up text (if you really think it’s something that needs addressing). What made the date bad? Did your date get very quiet when you brought up politics? Was the bar you chose was too crowded? 

You might not know what the issue is or was, but taking some time to think about it might produce a clue about where things went wrong. And if you really have no idea, it doesn’t hurt to get some clarity by asking. 

2. Start With an Apology

SAY: “I know you were probably not expecting to hear from me again, but here’s the thing: I really enjoyed meeting you. In fact, I think you’re great, and I’d love to go out again.” 

Deliver an apology that’s short and sweet before moving on to something complimentary. While this will demonstrate your thoughtfulness, it doesn’t mean you have to grovel too much. No one likes the smell of desperation, and you certainly don’t want to be in the position of begging someone to go out with you. 

3. Keep It Light-Hearted

SAY: “I’m sure you were a big fan of me accidentally spilling that drink down your shirt (so sorry, again!) If we go out again, I promise not to make any sudden movements.” 

If the first date was pretty cringe-worthy, your follow-up message is going to be slightly awkward no matter what. That means there’s no harm in using this opportunity to be a little goofy. Making light of the situation is a good way to defuse the tension (and also show them that you don’t take yourself too seriously). 

4. If You Were Nervous, Say So

SAY: “I was looking forward to our date so much, but first dates always bring out the nerves. I’m much more outgoing, but that’s really why I was a little awkward meeting you on our date.” 

Nerves have wrecked plenty of dates, but that doesn’t mean you should be embarrassed of having the jitters. You don’t need to hide it. In fact, being honest about how nervous you were is actually kind of endearing.

If you tell your date about your nervousness, at least they won’t have to wonder why you were so quiet and awkward all night. Speaking up might even put you at ease.

5. Don’t Talk About Chemistry or Compatibility

SAY: “You can’t tell if you like someone based on just one date! That’s why I think we should go on another date. I know we would really hit it off.” 

Be confident, not cocky. As you can’t guarantee that sparks will fly on the second date, it’s best to just ask for a second chance without explaining why you two would be the perfect couple. 

6. Don’t Brag About How Great You Are

DON’T SAY: “Hey, I know you told me that you’re not interested, but here’s why you should change your mind: I am a very successful investment banker, and I have a much better sense of humor normally than I did on our date.”

That text? No, no, no. Don’t rattle off all the reasons you’re actually dateable. This sounds extremely cringeworthy and only serves to worsen your case. Show, don’t tell! Instead of coming up with reasons why you’re a catch, you can just explain why you might not have been at your best during the first date. 

7. Don’t Put Pressure on Your Date

SAY: “I know I picked the worst possible place for our date – would you be at all interested in a re-do? I promise the place won’t disappoint this time."

Texting someone who’s already turned you down (especially if it’s a woman) is extremely risky. You don’t want to seem like one of those guys who can’t handle rejection — that’s the biggest possible red flag. 

Make it very clear from your text that you’re chill and respectful of your date’s boundaries, even if you don’t love the final outcome. 

8. Don’t Send a Wall of Text

DON’T SAY: “I’m kind of in a weird place right now. I’m still getting over my last ex — I think that might have affected my mood during our date. Also, you said something that reminded me of my boss at my last job who was always telling me I was incompetent. Being laid off a few months ago was really hard. Have you ever been laid off? Let me tell you what it’s like...”

Yikes. Don’t inundate the other person with long paragraphs explaining why your date wasn’t great, or why you deserve a second chance. You don’t know each other well enough for that yet, and if you overwhelm them now, you’ll likely never see them again. 

Instead, show that you value their time by composing a short and polite text. Get right to the point of asking them out on a second date. 

9. Suggest a Different Kind of Date

If you went to a restaurant or a bar for your first date, try something different this time around. Look up cool events or shows happening in your city and invite your date to one, or consider one of these unique date ideas.

Putting some thought into it will demonstrate your interest in them. Also, it will feel like the fresh start you both need. 

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How to Tell Your Partner You Dont Love Them Anymore

Sometimes in a relationship, you're not sure how to phrase a delicate subject or tricky topic. Sure, saying nothing at all is easy, but avoiding the subject doesn't do anyone any good. Awkward Conversations provides you with a template for what to say — and what not to say — and why, so you can have those difficult discussions without them turning into full-blown fights.

Falling out of love isn’t uncommon. It’s devastating, yes, but sometimes it just happens. A relationship his a sour note, things go stale and you’re ready for something else. You have no desire to carry on a romantic relationship with your partner any longer, but you don’t know how to tell them without causing some serious hurt. 

Feeling tempted to avoid the messy breakup talk by pretending the two of you will get through it? Or maybe you have plans to just ghost on ‘em entirely? Well, just hold on a second. Below, you’ll find some tips on how you can navigate one of the most potentially difficult conversations of your life with consideration. 

1. Pick a Private, Comfortable Setting

Here’s the thing: You have an advantage over your soon-to-be-ex. You know that you’re about to break up, but your partner doesn’t. With that in mind, put their convenience first. Don’t take them to a restaurant or busy café in order to drop this bomb. 

RELATED: How to Break Up With Someone Nicely

Don’t do it over a phone call, text or a hasty email, either — do it face-to face, somewhere where neither of you will be interrupted. It’s likely to be an emotional conversation, so give your partner the luxury of a place where the two of you can be alone, and where they can cry, vent or otherwise experience the moment in their own way.

2. Explain That Something Has Changed

“Laura, I value you immensely, but I want to be honest. I feel like I’m not the same person I was at the start of this relationship, and I can’t give you what you deserve.” 

Instead of using harsh phrasing like “I don’t love you anymore” (which will come as a shock), explain that your feelings have changed. 

What was once working just isn’t anymore, and as a result, you can’t be a committed, loving partner that they need in their life. Hearing that will be difficult, but it’s the only way to move forward on the new path you’re looking for.

3. Resist the Temptation to Do a Detailed Post-Mortem

Your partner might ask why you don’t love them anymore, or what exactly has changed. While you may want to give them what they want to ease their pain, that doesn’t mean you need to answer. You also have no obligation to go into a detailed analysis of how your relationship deteriorated over time. 

Extra words might encourage your partner to place blame for what happened:

“It didn’t help that you had so little time for me with the new job. I’ve felt like a stranger to you for months.”

They may insist that things can be fixed, or that you can work on whatever went wrong: 

“I can cut back hours! I can make more time for you from now on.” 

If you don’t want to go down that road, try not to dissect your past relationship issues. It’s enough to tell them that this isn’t working for you, and with that said, it should be enough to get across that you want to put things to an end.

4. Use Neutral Statements That Don’t Assign Blame to Either of You

Don’t be accusatory. Try not to use phrases that make it seem like they’re the cause of this split when explaining the breakdown of the relationship. On the contrary, make it patently clear that it’s nothing either of you could have helped. 

“I’ve been feeling like things aren’t right with us for some time now. I wish that it didn’t have to come to this.” 

Your partner’s initial reaction might be to point fingers, but make it clear that assigning fault is useless in this situation. That way, you won’t be trapped in a painful fight where there’s resentment on both sides. 

5. Don’t Give False Hope

Don’t suggest that you’ll reconcile in the future if you know in your heart that will never happen. It’s tempting to offer your partner something that’ll give ‘em some sort of hope down the line, but these are the kind of things that people cling on to that ultimately mean nothing.

All you’d be doing is making the final severance worse. Be firm about the state of your relationship — if you don’t think it can be salvaged, then don’t let them think so either. The sooner they realize it’s final, the sooner they can learn to live with it. 

6. Take Ownership of Your Feelings

Because this is such an emotional conversation, your instinct may be to pull back and appear detached. Unfortunately, that often makes it worse for your partner, and this isn’t the time to keep up a façade of nonchalance or disinvestment. 

If you’re experiencing feelings of hurt and loss, too, be honest about those feelings. Tell your partner how important they are and will always be to you. These may sound like trite things to say, but they’re still necessary. If you keep it to yourself, they’ll be left feeling like you chose to walk away without any sort of detachment on your end.

7. Don’t Suggest That You Can Still Be Friends

Telling them that you’d love to stay friends is misguided. It may seem like a nice gesture in the moment, but it can feel insulting. Friendship isn’t a consolation prize for the dumped, and besides, it’s way too early to suggest it. They will likely need time and space to get over you, so your best bet is to offer them that while being as kind as you can. 

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How to Explain Your Fetish to Your Partner

Sometimes in a relationship, you're not sure how to phrase a delicate subject or tricky topic. Sure, saying nothing at all is easy, but avoiding the subject doesn't do anyone any good. Awkward Conversations provides you with a template for what to say — and what not to say — and why, so you can have those difficult discussions without them turning into full-blown fights.

If you have a fetish or kink you’re really into, having a conversation about it with a partner can feel like the scariest thing in the world. 

Unfortunately, many common fetishes and kinks are still heavily stigmatized as there’s a level of fear and uncertainty in the unknown. That leaves even the most confident person to worry about being judged, especially with this being such an intimate thing to reveal about yourself.

While you want to be honest without freaking out your partner or making them feel uncomfortable, here are some ways to make the conversation about your kink/fetish a total breeze.

1. Explain That You’re Sharing From a Place of Trust

Resist the temptation to crack jokes in order to ease tension. Don’t open with something like, “Hey, so have you ever dated a guy with a foot fetish?” either. Instead, be as sincere and unguarded as possible, even if that feels hard to do. 

“I want you to know that I trust you, and that’s why I feel comfortable telling you about my sexual inclinations. I hope you can appreciate that.” 

Be sure to put your partner at ease right away. Let them know that you trust them, and that’s why you’re opening up — that way, they’ll take it much more seriously and not be dismissive. 

2. If You’re Worried About Being Judged, Say So

“One time I brought this up with a girlfriend, and she shamed me so much that I felt horrible… that’s why I’m always nervous now. I hope you understand that that’s why it took me so long to bring it up.” 

Don’t be afraid to communicate any anxiety or fear you have to your partner. What’s the point in pretending you’re some macho tough guy, full of confidence with no real cares about their opinion? 

If you explain your reservations clearly, they’ll be that much more considerate and understanding as you two discuss it. Hopefully, they’ll also understand that hasty judgments would hurt your feelings, and be less likely to be outright against what you’re saying.

3. Demystify Kinks/Fetishes With Details and Context

“I know this might be strange to hear, but it’s something that I got into a few years ago. Ever since then, I’ve been really interested in X … it just arouses me so much.” 

Sharing these additional details might feel embarrassing, sure, but they’ll help your partner understand where you’re coming from. That way, even if they’re someone who has a somewhat negative view of fetish-related things, they won’t lump you in with all the other “kinky people” they probably imagine. 

You’re a unique individual with a specific kink or turn-on — that’s what you’re trying to get across. If there’s an origin story or background of why you have it, go ahead and explain that, too. 

4. Start Small and Ease Into the Conversation Gradually

“So … I find it really hot when women walk on me in high heels. Could you do that sometime?” 

Leading with a specific request like the example above is exactly the kind of situation where people react instinctively to shut you down. Instead of asking your partner to join in your kink/fetish, consider saying something like this:

“I know this is all still very new to you, but I just wanted to bring it up. We can talk about it later!” 

Introduce your kink/fetish to them in stages. If your partner watches porn, offer to show them a video that best demonstrates what you’re into. Give them a chance to get used to the idea, but also be aware that even after doing that, they might not want to partake in the end. That doesn’t mean you have to suppress your thoughts or desires, of course, but it’s just something that might be done as a solo activity.

5. Ask About Your Partner’s Fantasies

“I know we haven’t had this conversation before, which is why I’m glad we have a chance now. Do you have any fantasies of your own? Is there something you like, or maybe a sexual desire that you haven’t had a chance to explore? I’d love to make that happen if you want to.” 

It’s only fair that your partner should have a chance to tell you their secret kinks, too. Even if they don’t, this question demonstrates that you’re a thoughtful partner, and will show that you’re not trying to make this a selfish, one-sided conversation.

6. Emphasize That This Won’t Change Your Relationship

Don’t label your fetish/kink as a secret out of the gate. It’ll only make it seem like you were hiding something, when in reality, you were just hesitant to admit your truth in fear of scaring your partner off.

“I know this may be strange to you, but listen, it’s just one thing that I happen to like sexually. This doesn’t mean that I’m a different person from the one you know. I still like you very much, and our relationship will remain the same.

If you’re into being tied up, choking, spanking or what have you, that doesn’t make you a terrible person. It also doesn’t mean you don’t have any interest in your partner if they say they’re not on the same page as you. Being turned on by X or Y is not a reflection on your character, and as your partner may not know this, take the time to explain it carefully. 

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Also, clarify that this doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy the sex you’ve been having. Hearing about something like this, particularly if you’ve been with this person for a while now, can lead to your partner worrying that your regular sex life has been boring and bland. Reassure them with an explanation that’ll show you aren’t a deceitful person. 

7. Thank Them for Listening and Being Understanding

“Thanks so much for giving me this space to tell you about my fetish/kink. It’s great that you’re open-minded, and I want you to know I’m always going to be the same way.” 

Explain that this was a really important conversation to have because it’s about such an intimate part of your identity that you don’t disclose to just anyone. 

After your partner listens to what you have to say, it’ll be out in the open. Whether they feel like taking part or not, there’ll be a weight lifted off your shoulders that’ll only better you (and the relationship) in the long run.

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How to Get Your Girlfriend to Try Something Unconventional in Bed

Sometimes in a relationship, you're not sure how to phrase a delicate subject or tricky topic. Sure, saying nothing at all is easy, but avoiding the subject doesn't do anyone any good. Awkward Conversations provides you with a template for what to say — and what not to say — and why, so you can have those difficult discussions without them turning into full-blown fights.

One of the great things about having a partner is getting to try new things, sexually. Is there a fantasy you’ve had since college? A sex position you’ve always wondered about? Do you want to explore something you’ve only seen in porn? 

But here’s the thing: Having that conversation can be tricky. You don’t want to offend your girlfriend, or make her feel insecure in any way. That’s why we’ve put together a guide on how to ask without leaving her all uncomfortable.

1. Don’t Diss Your Current Sex Life 

“I thought we’d spice things up by ...” 

No, no, no. Avoid the phrase ‘spice things up’ entirely! This is the biggest mistake you could make. It’s going to sound like you’re bored of having sex with her, and might just put her on the defensive right away. 

You’re not suggesting something new as an antidote to bad sex ... you’re doing it to supplement your existing sex life. Make sure she knows that.

“I think about sex with you all the time. In fact, I was thinking about ...” 

Start off from a place of reassurance. Meaning, you’re hot for her, and you love having sex with her! This will put her at her ease, allowing you to take the conversation from there without worry.

2. Explain the Context of Your Request

“I saw this in one really hot movie scene, but I’ve never been able to try it with anyone.” 

Instead of just asking, provide some background. Give her an origin story, if you can. The more she understands, the more likely she is to give it a go. 

RELATED: The 10 Most Famous Fetishes, Revealed

Also, explain that this is a joint endeavor. You’re not asking her for a favor — you’re asking her if she is willing to take part in something with you. 

Too many men make the mistake of asking for someone instead of saying how it’s something you’ll do together. The former just sounds like work, not something enjoyable.

3. Don’t Rush Her 

“I know this might be weird or scary to hear, but don’t worry, OK? Take your time. Think about it. I’ll be right here to answer any questions you might have.” 

Make it clear that you’re not putting her on the spot. Instead, you’re just floating an idea for your future sex life. Let her sit with it for a minute so she can get used to it, especially if the request is more unconventional than trying out reverse cowgirl.

People usually don’t want to experiment with people they aren’t totally comfortable with. As her boyfriend, your task is to make her comfortable. Give her the time and space to consider it. Let her answer when she’s in a relaxed frame of mind.

4. Let Her Set Her Own Boundaries and Limits 

“The most important thing is that you’re comfortable with this. Tell me if there’s anything you don’t want to do, or any boundaries you don’t want to cross, OK?” 

People are often afraid of trying out new things in the bedroom because they don’t know enough about those things. 

She may be worried that that sex position you like would hurt her, or that roleplaying would involve something she isn’t comfortable with. That’s why it’s so important to discuss it beforehand. 

Explain that this isn’t a one-way street. You’re not making all the rules, and she is free to set her own. Above all, she can veto anything she wants. This isn’t an ultimatum — it’s two people discussing potential sexual activity.

5. Provide Some Alternatives

Don’t get upset if decides to respectfully decline your suggestion.

There are likely plenty of alternatives that she would enjoy. Take the time to think about it, and make a short list of ideas that excite you. Present them to her and say,

“Here’s some things I like — any that stand out to you? And by the way, I would love for you to make your own list. I hope you know I’d love to make your fantasies happen, too.” 

The more options you offer, the more likely she is to choose one. This may even embolden her to come up with some of her own.

6. Acknowledge That Her Pleasure Is a Priority for You 

“It’d be much easier to get you off with a sex swing, but what do you think?” 

It’s important to illustrate that this isn’t a selfish demand by reminding her that you’re invested in and committed to her pleasure, and her orgasm. She might not have thought about it before. This way, you can make a weird-seeming request sound much more appealing. 

Explain to her that you can try out modified, more manageable versions of whatever your fantasy is. If you ensure she has a good time, she’ll be that much more likely to progress and move on to bigger, more unconventional sexual activities. 

Finally, be thankful and appreciative of her. Say, 

“I love you — thank you for being open to this discussion.” 

It may not have been an easy one for her, and everybody likes to be recognized for their effort. The more encouraging you are now, the easier these discussions will get in the future. 

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How to Break Up With Someone Nicely

Sometimes in a relationship, you're not sure how to phrase a delicate subject or tricky topic. Sure, saying nothing at all is easy, but avoiding the subject doesn't do anyone any good. Awkward Conversations provides you with a template for what to say — and what not to say — and why, so you can have those difficult discussions without them turning into full-blown fights.

Breaking up is a sad, difficult part of the human experience. Nobody enjoys breaking up with people, excluding possible psychopaths. There's arguing, there's tears, bargaining, and there's the "What did I do? Just tell me what I did." It's the most awkward relationship conversation of all — so much so that you're often tempted to chuck it and ghost. After all, if you block her number and move to Thailand, she'll get the picture, right? There's no need to have the actual breakup talk.

Well, as tempting as it is to disappear without a word, it's an unequivocally bad idea. You're hurting someone's feelings by leaving them in the dark indefinitely. And, who knows — you might run into them again sometime in the future! Hey, maybe the boss at your next job will turn out to be the girl you ghosted two years ago. Think of the office tension. No, no, it's not worth it. Being mature about it will save you both trouble (and an immense amount of buried guilt) down the line.

RELATED: Do You Know the Signs of an Impending Breakup?

Here, we outline some ways for you to handle the breakup conversation with grace — and what common pitfalls you should avoid. It's never going to be easy, but if you follow these simple steps, you'll both walk away feeling that you respect each other and have clarity on the situation. People crave closure: that chance to tie a big pink ribbon on a relationship and put it away for good. And at the end of the day, that's the least you can offer someone you dated.

In all these scenarios, we're running with the assumption that you're sure you want to break up. (If you want to have a relationship talk because you're hoping she'll change your mind, that's an entirely different animal.) This is for people who have made up their mind and don't know how to deliver the bad news.

Breakup approaches are generally dependent on the length of the relationship:

1. Breaking Up When You've Only Been on a Few Dates

"Can I break up with her by text?" Well, the answer is usually a resounding No. Dumping someone via text is rude and unacceptable. However, when you've only been on two or three dates with the person in question, it's safe to assume that they're not going to be that upset by it. You two don't know each other very well yet, and it's okay to send her a carefully composed text instead of meeting up expressly to dump her.

What's a good, thoughtful text to send? Not a "Well, this was fun, but I'm out. Bye!" with a smiley emoji. Don't be callous about it — even if this wasn't a serious relationship, it's still worthy of a better send-off. Here's an example of a good breakup text:

Hey, Sheila. I wanted to say that I had a blast with you these last two weeks, and I'm so glad that we met on Tinder. I'm really sorry, but I don't think I'm in the space to take this relationship further. I hope that this isn't too upsetting — it's nothing personal, and it would be great to be friends, maybe in the future. Take care.

This is a good breakup text because it's polite, but clear. Yes, the "it's not you, it's me" is a cliché, but one that saves the other person's feelings. If it's only been one or two weeks, you don't have to explain why you're not feeling it! It's super common for people to change their minds after a few dates, and she'll likely assume that's what happened here. Either way, this text does the job quickly, but cleanly.

2. Breaking Up When You've Been Dating for a Month or Two

This is trickier territory than breaking up after two dates, even though it's still early enough that it won't devastate them. If you've been dating for one or two months, you've probably slept over at each other's houses. You've made each other breakfast, and you've gotten used to seeing each other on the weekends! At this point, you probably owe it to the person to break up with them in person, or (at the very least) over the phone.

This doesn't mean that you should call them and say abruptly 'Hey, I wanna break up, so cancel those movie tickets next week." It's going to come as a little bit of a shock, definitely, and that means you should cushion the blow. Ideally, something along the lines of:

Hey, Sara. So, I've been thinking a lot about us, and where I see it going. I'm feeling a little uncertain about the future, and I think that's not a good sign. I feel like maybe this has run its course, and I'm so sorry that it has. You're great, and you deserve to be with someone who is ready for a long-term relationship.

If you can sit down with them, and tell them kindly but firmly that you don't see this going anywhere, that's best. A phone call will do, in a pinch. Don't beat around the bush — get to the point, but listen to her and be patient, whatever her response is. It's unlikely that you'll be met with much resistance, but you should give her a chance to say her piece before you say goodbye.

3. Breaking Up When You've Been Dating for 3-11 Months

Say you've been dating for six months, and you don't feel like you're going to fall in love with this person. They're just not the one. Or maybe you want to keep dating casually, or maybe you want to move and travel in Europe for a year. Whatever your reason for ending it, this is a situation that definitely requires an in-person discussion. You've spent six months hanging out with this girl- you can definitely afford to take an hour out of your week for the breakup conversation.

At this stage, you don't know how she's going to react to the B word. She may have seen it coming, because women are perceptive like that. On the other hand, she may have absolutely no idea that you're unhappy in the relationship! There's no way to know until you break it to her, which is why it's not a great idea to break up on a crowded sidewalk. Take her to an empty coffee-shop, or ask if you can come by her place to talk. That way, if the conversation gets emotional, she won't feel humiliated by being in public.

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If there is a specific reason you want to break up, and it's something that is out of her control, or that would hurt her feelings, don't bring it up. This is one situation where total honesty is not required. An example of a breakup method that could backfire spectacularly:

You: Sandra, I don't think it's going to work out between us. I'm not attracted to you anymore.

Her: *crying* What? What's wrong? Is it my appearance? What did I do wrong in the relationship? Is it our sex life?

You: Kind of…I wanted to be honest.

Her: *yelling* Did you meet somebody prettier? Where did you meet her? How long has this been going on? Tell me. I can't believe this. I thought you were the one. I feel as if I'm nothing. And all this time, you were going behind my back.

You: *yelling* No, that's not what happened. Can you just listen to me for a second? God!

Now you're both upset, and confused, and not listening to each other. It's an emotional minefield, which is inevitable: this type of conversation will bring out insecurity in the most confident person! Is it really necessary to tell her that you're getting bored in the relationship? These kinds of statements are cruel, no matter how truthful they may be. There's no need to make people feel bad about themselves when you're leaving them.

Let's try that again with a different approach.

You: Shelby, I need to talk to you about something.

Her: What's going on?

You: I've been thinking about our relationship, and I'm concerned that I feel differently than I used to. I don't think it's going to work out between us.

Her: …

You: I am so sorry, and I want you to know this is hard for me too. It's going to be difficult to lose you, but I think we should break up.

Her: Why? How- I mean, why do you want to break up? I had no idea. I thought you were happy.

You: I know. I wish I'd brought it up earlier, but I feel like it's not fair to you to continue with something I'm not sure about. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's just a feeling that I can't shake, and I'm sad that it had to be like this.

This approach does a number of things right: firstly, it says Sorry. Sorry is important. Many people are averse to saying Sorry during a breakup, because they feel it's not a crime to end a relationship. Well, it certainly isn't, but it's not meant as an apology. Here, the sorry is shorthand for "I'm sorry that we can't be together any longer, and that this hurts your feelings. I'm sorry because I'm a decent human being who cares about other people's feelings."

Secondly, you're acknowledging that this isn't easy for you either. It's tempting to fall back on glibness because you don't want to be emotionally honest, and have an uncomfortable conversation. But if you act breezy or nonchalant about the breakup, it's going to cause that much more pain to the other person (who isn't nonchalant about it). We're not saying you have to fake a weeping fit, but don't suppress your own pain or sorrow about the situation.

Most importantly, this approach doesn't place the blame on the other person, or trigger any of their insecurities. You're framing this as your problem, as a feeling that you have about the relationship. That's not something she can argue with, or reasonably resent. Chances are, she'll accept it as peaceably as anyone would in that situation. Then, you can mourn the relationship appropriately, give each other back your favorite hoodies, and move on with your life.

4. Breaking Up When You've Been Dating for Over a Year

The longer you've been dating, the rougher it is to let go of someone — not necessarily because of the relationship itself, but because the other person has dug themselves deeply into your life. When you break up with your girlfriend of over a year, you're losing a lot of tiny things: the monthly trip to your favorite taco place, planning hikes together, that one friend of hers that's hilarious to hang out with. You're not going to bounce back from this immediately, and that's okay.

Expect the conversation to be messy and unpleasant. There will be tears. There might be yelling and most likely pleading and bargaining. Through all of this, you need to keep your cool, which is why it's best to have a script of sorts before you go in. But be empathetic throughout — at least you've had time to get mentally used to the idea of breaking up. Your girlfriend hasn't! Maybe she was planning your wedding, or the names you'd want for your kids. Either way, it behooves you to be as kind and considerate as possible. You'll never regret being gentle when you had the opportunity to be.

That means doing all of what we've discussed previously. Sitting her down in a safe place, apologizing, explaining that something isn't working for you personally, and giving her time and space to respond on her own terms. You don't have to do a post-mortem on the entire relationship: if you feel like it isn't working, it isn't. That's all you have to say.

But in these situations, you might be met with resistance, which is perfectly natural. After all, it's not a two-date old relationship. She might want to talk about it. (Breaking up might take more than one conversation, and you have to be prepared for that.) She's going to be resistant to the idea of losing you, and that means you have to approach the situation with tact and foresight.

Don't make this mistake:

You: …and, Sophia, it's not working anymore. I feel like breaking up is for the best.

Her: *cries* No, really? How can you say that? Do you want to throw away our entire relationship? All the things we went through together? I can't bear this.

You: *desperate* Look, it's not like that. Don't be sad. Maybe down the line…who knows?

Her: So there could be a chance that we'll work things out?

You: …sure. I guess. This is just for now.

This is a high-pressure situation — you're under the pressure of managing somebody else's emotions, and you don't know what to say to make them feel better. So you want to throw them a bone. Mitigate the breakup by saying that this is a temporary solution. It will probably help in the short term, but this is unfair to do to somebody and will come back to bite you in the long term. All you're doing by keeping someone on the hook is postponing the inevitable.

How do you deal with somebody's emotions without giving them false hope? Remember, this is somebody you care a lot about. Act accordingly. Hug them. Reassure them that you care about them and that that won't change, regardless of your romantic feelings. What she's reacting to is the sensation of loss — show her that it won't be as bad as she thinks right now.

You: Sophia, I think we have to break up. It's not working, not like it used to. But you have to know that I care about you and your happiness. I'm not going to stop caring. I still have so much love for you.

Her: Then — you don't think that maybe in the future you could change your mind? Things would be different, I promise. We can try again.

You: *gently* I can't hold on to that hope. I think it would be too difficult for both of us. I'm not going to change my mind. This relationship didn't have legs, that's all. But I'm so glad that we had that time together.

Here, you're showing your willingness to provide emotional support. She knows that you care about her feelings. Maybe (once you're truly over it) you can even be platonic friends, and still be in each other's lives.

RELATED: How To Recover From A Breakup, Explained

At the same time, you're making it clear that this isn't a jumping-off ground for future negotiations. You're breaking up with her, and you're doing it in a way that makes it crystal clear you won't change your mind. Saying your piece with finality won't be easy, and it will hurt her. These types of breakups aren't like Band-Aids: you can't rip them right off. They might take a little time to sink in.

But even if you meet up to talk about it again, stick to your position. Reiterate your earlier statements. Communicate your feelings clearly, whether you've been dating for a day or a year. Be understanding and receptive of her emotions, and you'll walk away feeling as satisfied as one can ever feel about a breakup.

How to Break Up With Someone You Love

Of all the necessary breakups, this is by far the hardest. There are many reasons why you might have to break up with someone you love and care about, and none of them are happy. Maybe it's for your own good – or maybe it's for hers. Either way, get ready for one of the hardest breakups you'll ever have.

Two things are important here, above all: that you respect your loved one and you respect yourself. You're not going to want to cause them pain, and that may lead you to downplay the trouble or even delay the breakup instead of ripping the band-aid right off. You need to be honest with yourself and with your partner, and end things swiftly. And next, and just as importantly, you need to take your distance from your ex. No post-breakup cuddles or dinners or lunches. No hanging on to all those photos you have of the two of you on your phone. The sooner you can get the relationship out of sight, the sooner you'll be able to heal from the breakup.

How to Break Up With Someone You Live With

This is the trickiest breakup situation. It's hard enough to end a relationship when you don't split the electricity and Wi-Fi bills, or share a bed, or know each other's morning routines, or rely on one another to do the grocery shopping each week. If you're in this situation, and you're the one initiating the breakup, you're going to need to think ahead. Arrange for a place to stay for a minimum of two weeks before you end the relationship. You could stay with a good friend, or even move back in with your parents temporarily. It doesn't matter. The important thing is that you'll be able to give your now-ex some much-needed space to process the end of the relationship without having to see your face.

As for separating your clothes and possessions, you can try to schedule some time when you know your ex will be at work, or you can once again lean on that aforementioned good friend (hey, that's what they're there for) to do you a solid and rescue your clothes and other belongings. Play your cards right and you can extricate yourself with minimal emotional damage.

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