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Top 10 AskMen Articles of the 2010s

AskMen has been around since 1999, making 2020 the fourth (!) decade that AskMen has been advising men in. 

However, only two of them were full decades — 2000 to 2009 and 2010 to 2019. To celebrate the momentous achievement of the site completing its second straight full decade in existence, we thought we’d take a stroll down memory lane to see the articles that have marked the past 10 years. 

For some publications, such an exercise might be a fun way to see what you published many years ago, showing what resonated with people in the past. In our case, it’s a bit trickier than that. Why? We like to update our advice articles every now and then to make sure they’re up to date, filled with accurate advice that’s relevant for the time we’re living in.

So for each article that was the top article of the year, in addition to some basic stats and a screenshot, we’ll look at a snippet of what we wrote then, what we’re saying now and briefly look into what’s changed. 

2010

Top Article: Top 10 Female Sex Fantasies

Live Date: January 13, 2010

Total Pageviews: 17,728,675

What We Said Then: “If you think women don’t sit around fantasizing about very naughty things, think again. Women are experts when it comes to dreaming up the sauciest of fantasies, and they don’t bother limiting themselves to the traditional. Some women spend just as much time hoping their men will help put their female sex fantasies into practice. Sound interesting? Read on: We'll give you the inside scoop on the top 10 female sex fantasies, and what she’s really daydreaming about when you least expect it.”

What We Say Now: “When you masturbate, or simply have sexual thoughts, you probably have certain fantasies that really get you off. There are probably sexy scenarios that you return to over and over because of how pleasurable they are. But have you ever wondered about what steamy scenarios and naughty things women fantasize about? What goes through women's minds when they're masturbating, dreaming about something sexy that they wish would happen to them in real life?”

What’s Changed: Rather than painting women as weird alien creatures with secret sex fantasies, the focus is instead on the similarities between guys and gals — yep, women are human, and yep, they fantasize about things. Shocker!

2011

Top Article: Top 10 First Date Ideas

Live Date: February 21, 2011

Total Pageviews: 14,775,679

What We Said Then: “When planning a first date, most guys settle for some variation of the dinner-and-a-movie night. There’s nothing particularly wrong with this strategy. It’s been tested. It’s easy. The only thing is, when taking a woman out on a date, you don’t want to be like most guys; you want to be the guy. So, we’ve assembled this list of top-notch first date ideas to help you get out of the dinner-and-a-movie rut.”

What We Say Now: “There's no way around it: First dates are a nerve-wracking proposition, for everyone involved. There's just so many variables. For one, you want to look your best. Then you have to show up on time. Once you're there, you have to be your wittiest, most impressive self. Then there's the end of the date. Do you hug? Do you shake hands? Do you make plans to meet again? Do you kiss? And then, whatever happens on the date, what happens the next day?”

What’s Changed: For starters, the first version of this article doesn’t even acknowledge the possibility of guys dating anyone but women. Yep, AskMen used to be pretty hetero-focused. Secondly, the “it’s easy” phrasing of the original stands in stark contrast to today’s version, which goes to great pains to acknowledge that planning a date can be nerve-wracking, no matter what it is you end up settling on. 

2012

Top Article: How to Ask Her Out

Live Date: January 26, 2012

Total Pageviews: 2,184,432

What We Said Then: “You've asked your friends how to do it, you asked your dad how he did it — you even asked your uncle. No strategy seems good enough. Your friends are all being douches about it, your dad, well, maybe what he did was cool in the '70s and your uncle doesn't even have a girlfriend. Luckily for you, we've discovered on Reddit what girls will really say yes to. Here are 10 ways to ask her out that actually work. We know they're legit because they come straight from the source.”

What We Say Now: “Asking someone out is the stuff of nightmares. How are you ever going to work up the courage to ask out the cute girl who lives in your apartment building? And if you did, what would you say to her? Are you going to make a fool of yourself? Will you be able to hold your own in conversation? These are the paralyzing thoughts that keep you from a potentially great first date. Luckily, we have a failsafe guide to help you navigate the entire process.”

What’s Changed: Remember what we said about planning a date being nerve-wracking? Well, asking someone out is no better. The big change here is a shift away from using Reddit comments as a source of dating advice because … well, those aren’t exactly expert opinions. 

2013

Top Article: The Best Way to Masturbate for Men

Live Date: May 13, 2013

Total Pageviews: 13,507,817

What We Said Then: “Sometimes, a guy just needs some alone time to reconnect. Then there are times when we just want to get some satisfaction without having to seduce and take our time pleasing someone else. Of course, I'm not suggesting that you begin masturbating chronically and show your girl the door. But every now and then, if you feel the need to stroke it, here are seven masturbation techniques you should try out for a little variety.”

What We Say Now: “Engaging in sexual self-pleasure, typically until you orgasm — commonly known as masturbation, though it has many other more descriptive names — is both incredibly common and quite healthy. Don’t believe that it’s a very common pastime? Well, some studies suggest that as many as 98 percent of people masturbate at least once in their lives. As for claims to healthiness, masturbation is also proven to carry various health benefits, like reducing stress, reducing your risk of prostate cancer, and functioning as a sleep aid (since post-orgasm, you’ll typically feel relaxed and drowsy).”

What’s Changed: Masturbation can be a lot of fun, but it can also be a source of anxiety for some. The latest version of this article tries to reassure the anxious reader that not only is touching yourself for pleasure enjoyable, it’s also healthy and normal. 

2014

Top Article: Best Tinder Conversation Starters to Get a Response With

Live Date: October 27, 2014

Total Pageviews: 41,993,469

What We Said Then: “I've noticed lately that too many of my friends really SUCK at Tinder, though. You should treat Tinder much like meeting a girl out at a bar — you only have one chance to make a first impression, so you might as well come across as confident, funny, and original. That said, here are 30 fun ways to start a Tinder conversation. Unless you're talking to one of the innumerable spambots on Tinder, these lines should definitely get a response... although I can't guarantee all of them will lead to positive responses!”

What We Say Now: “Do not, I repeat, do not send somebody a message saying ‘sup’ or ‘hey sexy’, or anything like that. Fortunately, it’s not so hard to stand out, because most guys absolutely suck at Tinder. Every pretty girl has an avalanche of stupid messages. Be just a little different, a little unusual and you’ll have a way better chance of connecting with someone cool.”

What’s Changed: Being a woman on Tinder is often, well, not the most fun. Don’t believe us? Why else would Bumble — whose main selling point is Tinder without the annoying opening messages — exist? Where the original article makes spambots sound like the worst thing about Tinder, the new one owns up to the fact that crass, impolite interactions are the real scourge. 

2015

Top Article: Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life

Live Date: August 25, 2015

Total Pageviews: 1,707,706

What We Said Then: “If most of us could just skip the whole work thing and spend all of our time in bed every day, we would. But with all that need to have sex comes the urge to have a bit of variety. Fortunately, there's plenty of different configurations you and your girl can try out. To make them easier to imitate, and to jumpstart your imagination, we've also crafted illustrations of each and every position and given you the skinny on just what you can expect from each.”

What We Say Now: “One thing that’ll impact what your sex is like is the position (or positions) you’re using. Are you a fan of the classics like missionary and doggy style? Do you like to cycle through half a dozen different ones each time? Is there a less common one that you’re prone to attempt, like the criss cross, the butterfly or the surfboard? There are tons of different sex positions for you and your partner to try, and if you’re used to just one or two, it can be overwhelming to know how to do what’s new to you.”

What’s Changed: Again, “you and your girl” — pretty heavy on the straightness, old AskMen! The updated version tries to be a little more welcoming of people of all kinds, and notes that sometimes you’re looking for variety not because you’re bored, but because you’re inexperienced!

2016

Top Article: Average Erect Penis Girth and Length

Live Date: August 9, 2016

Total Pageviews: 7,329,223

What We Said Then: “Some men are growers and others are showers. Of course, penis size does matter, but mostly in terms of finding the right fit with your partner. As a result, bigger is not necessarily better. This is no surprise, given that the length of the average vagina is shorter than that of the average penis. Size also seems to matter in terms of cultural appreciation. However, the reality is that we live in a culture that makes a big deal about penis size, it can be difficult to really engage with our genuine desires and see through the cloud of cultural prescriptions.”

What We Say Now: “Do you know how long your penis really is? If you have those numbers, how does it compare with the average penis size? Those two questions are ones that many men spend much of their time obsessing over, but the truth is, if you’re worried about the size of your penis, you might be overestimating how much it really matters. While there are a lot of cultural associations between having a big penis and being manly, that’s all they are — cultural associations.”

What’s Changed: These two introductions make a lot of similar points, but the newer one tries to be a little bit gentler about it. The phrase “size does matter” was cut, as well as the references to “growers” and “showers,” to help reinforce that penis size isn’t something you need to incorporate into your identity. 

2017

Top Article: Best Natural Deodorants for Men

Live Date: March 29, 2017

Total Pageviews: 2,883,505

What We Said Then: “Most men have been using the same deodorant to combat their body odor since their pre-teens. While that may have been perfect for combating sweat in your middle school gym class, why not turn to a deodorant that is actually good, and good for you? Luckily, there are plenty of natural options out that provide great alternatives to chemical-ridden deodorants. Whether you're living an all-natural lifestyle or you're just looking out for your body, you'll find solace in the one of these deodorants. We tested them to ensure they are made from healthy ingredients, prevent odors, and don't stain those precious white shirts.”

What We Say Now: “Most men tend to use the same deodorants and antiperspirants from when they were in high school to combat body odor. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? Well, while those products may have been perfect for combating sweat in gym class, why not turn to a deodorant that is actually designed to work well and be better for you? Luckily, there are plenty of natural options that provide equal, if not better, alternatives to chemical-ridden deodorants you see scattered across the men’s personal care aisle.”

What’s Changed: Honestly? Not much. As the only article not about sex or dating on the list, we’re a tiny bit mystified by how popular this article has been. Of course, smelling nice (in a natural way) isn’t a bad idea if you want to amp up your love life. 

2018

Top Article: How to Talk to Girls on Tinder

Live Date: February 2, 2018

Total Pageviews: 561,314

What We Said Then: “With proper testing and Tinder profile optimization, getting Tinder matches is easy. However, many men still struggle with how to talk to girls on Tinder. Throughout my research building TinderHacks, and subsequent consulting with men who struggle to find success on Tinder, I’ve noticed a pattern that will significantly increase your success with Tinder messaging.”

What We Say Now: “What you’re left with is a group of frazzled online dating burnouts handing their phones off to their friends to be spared the exhaustion of the actual Tindering process. But for every few dozen boring or bad Tinder conversations, there’s a really good one that makes the whole experience, well, kinda worth it. And if you know what you’re doing, you can be that one shining example that all the other guys are jealous of.”

What’s Changed: The original advice was perhaps not bad advice — it was the product of fairly rigorous testing, for starters — but it was a little, well, robotic. Sure, you can use a formula to improve your chances of getting Tinder dates, but it’s creepy (and more than a little sexist) to approach meeting someone like it’s a math problem you have to solve for homework. Human beings are complex creatures, and treating them like equations is dehumanizing. 

2019

Top Article: Obsolete Man Skills That You Should Ditch

Live Date: January 7, 2019

Total Pageviews: 361,662

What We Said Then: “In the popular imagination, a man has to possess skills in order to be a real man. Not just any skills will do, however. We know this because, frankly, some skills are openly mocked. You could be the world’s best crossword puzzle solver, and be made fun of by a mediocre car mechanic for being a geek. You could be the world’s best opera singer, and get razzed by a middling boxer for your high-pitched voice. Some skills just aren’t considered very manly.”

What We Say Now: “For a long time, society has had unwritten rules in place for the way men are allowed to act within the realm of what has traditionally been defined as ‘manliness.’ Their unwritten quality has allowed for some fluidity over time, but not nearly enough to challenge the overarching ideas of masculinity that have long dictated what is and what isn’t acceptable behavior for a man. That is, until recently.”

What’s Changed: This was only 11 months ago, so not much has changed in terms of the actual culture. But as you may notice, we have, in fact, replaced the original article. Why? Well, it was a little too spicy. The writer might have gotten a little too excited with “out with the old, in with the new” fervor — after a tidal wave of complaints, we had another writer offer up a more sensible take. Don’t let anyone say we’re not capable of learning from our mistakes! 

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AskMen Editors, Khareem Sudlow