Heads-up, gentlemen! Did you know that relationships can quickly be made or broken, based on the number of texts you send at the start? That’s the reality of modern relationships: you really only get one chance at getting it right. No pressure, though. I’m here to help because I understand women and how they work!

When texting a woman for the first time, you’ll be appealing to her mental logic, her ability to reason, through which she’ll make the choice to either respond or hope you’ll go away. Your first opportunity at attraction will be through a mental portal. If you can appeal to her mentally, you’ll already have your foot in the door. Once your text relationship is established, you can continue to use texts to flirt and build momentum in between dates and keep her feeling special.

But what should you say? How often should you text her? What if she doesn’t respond; do you text her again? We all know the dreaded ‘blue tick’ status – your text’s been seen but your inbox is empty. Was it something you said? How do you appeal to someone you’ve just met, using only words?

Let’s Talk ‘Text Compatibility’

Texts have the ability to make a person feel pressured or inspired. When you and a woman are ‘text compatible’, this means that what you say in your texts, and how often you send them, appeal to her. This is key to closing the mental gap between both of you. If your mental bridge is strong, other aspects of your relationship will be more open to exploration.

In 2018, Psychologist Leora Trub from Pace University conducted a study on the texting habits of couples already in a ‘romantic’ relationship. [source] Her research revealed that partners with similar texting styles are more satisfied in their relationship. This shows that similar texting styles (content and frequency) leads to effective communication, and to issues being solved that much quicker.

In short, you might be compatible sexually or socially, but if you don’t complement each other’s headspace, you may be in for a bumpy ride.

Watch for the Telltale Signs

If you want to be text compatible with someone you need to pay close attention to them. Does she text back in a milli second, or does she take a few hours to reply? Don’t push her, text at her pace. The last thing you want is for your texts to become annoying or “too much”.

Another sign to watch out for is her level of engagement. Are her texts becoming shorter and shorter? Are her witty responses few and far between? If you notice that she seems rushed, or uninterested, back off. This is a clear indicator that you are texting her way too much.

Remember, that in the beginning of a relationship you should only be texting her enough to keep the momentum going and secure a face-to-face date. If there is a lag in your conversation, make up an excuse to leave and then hit her up with a creative text the next day, to start fresh and move the conversation towards an in-person meeting.

How Soon After Getting Her Number Should You Text Her?

If she’s personally given you her number, she’s likely anxiously waiting for your first text. Don’t let too much time go by being hesitant. Send her a simple text within the first few hours.

However, if she gave you her number while under the influence or at a party where she was mostly preoccupied, it’s better to wait until late morning the next day. Get your day started as you usually would, no matter how eager you may feel to text her; take some time to think of a good text to send. A safe and totally bulletproof text to send could be:

Hey, [name] – just sending you a quick text so that you have my number. Loved our chat last night. plussomething specific to your conversation such as “did you get up in time for your spin class this morning? What’s the name of that bagel place you mentioned? I’m in serious need”

At this point she’ll either respond or not. She might have already forgotten who you are, considering she’d had four scotch-on-the-rocks by the time she met you. On the other hand, she might be waiting for your text. The time it takes her to respond will depend on the impression your meeting left with her. If you see ‘blue ticks’ for longer than 24-hours, it’s likely she’s not overly eager to get things rolling.

Don’t fret. She might be super shy and not know how to respond, or even if she should respond. Give her another 48-hours to think about it, then drop her another line:

Sorry, is this [name’s] number? I sent a text a few days ago but can’t be sure it’s going to the right person. The person I’m looking for is tall, hilarious and has some killer dance moves.

If you’re faced with blue ticks again, it might be best to shrug it off and forget about it. If she’s seen two texts from you already, the third may lead to your being blocked! So, try twice then let it go.

She Responded – Now What?

Even if she responds, the deal is far from sealed. Now it’s time to put your best text forward. You don’t want to chase her away with mundane, long messages about your colleague’s dress-sense, or how your dog pooped in the living-room. Information like that is not necessarily going to make her feel special. Ideally, you want each text to be meaningful, and perhaps even a little cryptic!

Mystery is sexy. Remember, your mission is to flirt and build momentum in between dates, and make sure that you are firmly on her radar.

Playing Hard to Get or Not

While some women like men playing ‘hard to get’, you don’t want to be seen as the inconsiderate, taking-your-merry-time, making-you-want-me type. Think text compatibility and text at her pace. Remember, you might not be the only guy in the picture.

If you don’t show her some level of interest you may lose out to another guy. So, you’ll want her to know you’re thinking of her but aren’t necessarily chasing her. You can easily do this by sending her a few random texts that tie into previous conversations. Just don’t overdo it and make every text count.

Another must do is to always respond to confirmation texts as soon as you can.If you are ironing out the details for your date on Thursday, don’t leave her on read. Answer her questions about location, time, etc. or she might get the impression that you aren’t excited to see her.

Do Not Send Sexts Until You’re 100% Sure It’s What She Likes

And now, what not to do. In most cases, pictures of nudity or texts with sexual connotations at the start are a definite no-no. She may block you right there, or at least feel very uncomfortable with your approach. Be old-school for a little longer; rather consider romance and playful talk before introducing your sexual fantasies.

Many women are sick and tired of guys that come on too strong sexually. They want mental and emotional compatibility; and aren’t interested in a one-nighter that will just end up messing with their emotions. Be a gentleman – that’s your best bet at the start.

Let Her Set The Pace

Keep in mind that mental compatibility in any relationship is as important as emotional and sexual compatibility, perhaps even more so. Texting is an action of the mind; you’re using words as steps to reach the desired destination. If you follow the steps above at the onset of your new relationship, you should be off to a great start!

This post has been written by Claudia Cox, founder of Text Weapon. Visit her web-site to learn how to flirt over texting and get tips on how to use texting to improve your relationships.

Read other popular posts by Claudia:

7 Ways To Build Sexual Tension With Woman Through Text

Emoji Meaning – Ultimate Men’s Guide (Use Emojis Like A Pro!)

Talking To Women: 17 Conversation Tips For Men

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