For the past month, Mercury retrograde in Libra has been wreaking havoc on us, stirring up drama in our relationships, messing with our technology, and disrupting whatever communication skills we thought we had. Finally, on October 18, the Planet of Communication will complete its backwards dance, freeing us from the dreaded shackles of its retrograde motion. But we’re not quite out of the woods yet.

When Mercury retrograde ends and the planet turns direct, we enter into something called the retroshade zone, says Lisa Stardust, the author of Saturn Return Survival Guide and The Astrology Deck. It’s during this time, which lasts until November 2, that she says “the wildest and wonkiest things” can to happen to us. “Being that Mercury is in the air sign Libra, we can expect gossip and relationship drama,” Stardust explains. “This is the time when the tea comes out and secrets are revealed.”

But Stardust also says this is when we get to ask for forgiveness and mend what’s broken. “It’s a great time to heal situations and relationships that have undergone issues during the actual retrograde,” she says. Although rocky, this period may offer us an opportunity to repair the damage of Mercury’s chaotic retrograde — especially any drama between you and your romantic partner. “While Mercury is shaking off the cobwebs, this is your chance to really integrate and apply any of the lessons you learned during retrograde,” adds Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution.

This opportunity to heal will be helped by a notable configuration, which began on October 15 and ends on October 19: “As the Planet of Communication prepares to go direct, it will be opposing Chiron retrograde in Aries,” says Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com. “This is bound to bring out insecurities from the past, making us revisit painful situations within relationships in which we didn’t feel heard or seen.” That sounds negative, but it’s not: We’re being given a chance to face those insecurities head on, which is the only way we’ll be able to move past them. Montúfar says if we’re able to talk about them with someone we trust, there’s room for some deep healing to happen. 

Murphy says we can expect to feel extra-clear during this retroshade, which will be a welcome change given that we may have experienced some fogginess during the retrograde. “We always feel a certain level of mental clarity or added insight after a retrograde cycle, but this one in particular is extra heightened,” Murphy says. “In the sign of Libra, which rules the mind, we really should feel a deep refreshing ‘aha’ moment.” You heard it here first — schedule brainstorming sessions, charge forward with your big ideas, and just let your mind wander. Mercury retrograde is no longer blocking our creative juices from flowing, so now’s the time to get your life back on track.

Although Mercury direct will help us clear away the brain fog, Murphy still says that it’s important to have patience for ourselves from now until November 2, as we’re still healing from the planet’s retrograde motion. “It still may take a little time to get projects going or balls rolling,” she says. Practice forgiveness — with yourself and with others.

Worth noting: Just after Mercury straightens out, on the night of October 20, we’ll experience a powerful and intense Full Moon in Aries. Montúfar says that this luminary is set to expose some secrets and bubble up some of our repressed anger from the past. “Mercury loves uncovering information and bringing stuff to the surface, and it will most likely intensify this Full Moon energy,” she says. “Libra season has been about recalibrating our relationships to make them more balanced, and in a way, this is the grand finale, especially because Libra season ends just a few days after Mercury goes direct.”

After a month in disarray, the true way to get through Mercury’s direct turn is to be open, honest, and put your best communication skills forward. Putting it all out on the table will help you rather than hurt you during this time, especially if you surround yourself with those you trust.

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Libra Season Marks The Start Of Chill Girl Autumn

Mars Is In Libra, So Chill Out (For Now)

What Does Venus In Sagittarius Mean?

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Elizabeth Gulino, DMT.NEWS, DMT BeautySpot,

First, Mercury retrograde came for our relationships. Then, the new moon in Libra asked us to find balance in our partnerships. And now, on October 7, another astrological transit is here to change up our love lives. Venus, the Planet of Love and Affection, is moving on from intense, brooding Scorpio to adventurous Sagittarius, meaning that our relationships are going to take on a lighter, more playful vibe until November 5.

Sagittarius is a fun, fiery placement for Venus, says Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com, and after the intensity of Venus in Scorpio, this transit is a welcome change. The way we approach love (whether we’re in committed relationships or playing the field) will be more carefree and lighthearted. This energy might just be what we need to breathe new life into our partnerships or take cuffing season to the next level.

Almost immediately after entering Venus, Montúfar says the planet will conjunct the south node of the moon, which means one thing: changes are coming. “The romantic relationships that are past their due date will suddenly end,” she warns. “Certain people who are meant to meet and be together will run into each other and connect.” If you feel called to end a lackluster relationship or aren’t sure if you want to go on a first date with a stranger you met on Hinge, let your gut decide for you. Whatever feels right during this time will most likely be the fated move you’re meant to make.

Besides playing with destiny, Venus in Sagittarius could be the spark needed to bring the fireworks back into your love life. “Sagittarius’s mantra is ‘more is more’ so if you are dating or on the apps, you may notice an influx of potential partners and suitors,” says Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution. “Sagittarius likes to try new things, so if you have always dated the finance bro type, see what going out with a musician is like.” We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again — now’s the time to be adventurous in your dating endeavors. After all, you never know what could be out there for you.

And remember — more is more doesn’t mean there’s an excuse to ghost. “Sagittarius is a mutable fire sign, so it has a reputation for being a little flaky,” Murphy says. “Close out text threads or DMs that you know aren’t going anywhere — be direct, honest, compassionate and clear.” Although this requires a bit more effort, it’s far better than the shadow side of Sagittarius coming back to bite you. Being open and honest here is key.

For those who are coupled up, channel the adventurous aura of Sagittarius and head out for a weekend getaway or plan a lavish date with your partner. Try new things, see new places, and share more meaningful experiences — it could just lead to a revival of the honeymoon stage.

Although there are plenty of suitors out there, now might not be the best time for those who are single to settle down. “Serious-minded lovers may find this hard to deal with along with those who a looking for a stable commitment,” says Leslie Hale, psychic astrologer at Keen.com. “Emotional drama, possessiveness and heavy emotions do not go over very well with Venus in this sign.” Instead of using Sag’s energy to plan romantic dates or other romantic outings, use it to go out and let loose with your friends. You never know who you might meet!

Sagittarius’s carefree energy could have you babbling more than usual, though, so think before you speak. “We can accidentally put our foot in our mouths and say inappropriate or hurtful words by accident,” Lisa Stardust, the author of Saturn Return Survival Guiide and The Astrology Dec, says of this transit. This will become even more true when Venus and Neptune form a square on October 26, making “communication extra confusing and nonsensical,” according to Stardust. “The truth may be hard to find, which will heighten our paranoias and anxieties.”

Overall, we’re in for an adventurous month. Use this time wisely by letting yourself be more carefree and easygoing — it’s been a tough year, so it’s the least you can do for yourself. We’ll leave you with one last piece of advice: “Use this Venus in Sag transit to get curious about what makes you feel enthusiastic about life and time with yourself,” Murphy says. “Falling in love with yourself is the greatest adventure of all.”

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The New Moon In Libra Is A Relationship Reset

Libra Season Marks The Start Of Chill Girl Autumn

The Last Mercury Retrograde of 2021 Is Here

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Elizabeth Gulino, DMT.NEWS, DMT BeautySpot,

In the mood for a change? Luckily, the planets are on your side. This month’s new moon in Libra is rising on October 6, and it might just be the perfect opportunity for a fall reset, so buckle up.

Every new moon has a theme that centers around what area of life we should be focusing on, according to Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution, and this luminary in particular is all about relationships. “Romantic, professional, money, society, and relationship with self, especially,” she says. “With the planetary ruler of Libra being Venus, it’s time to activate next-level love and profound partnerships with heartfelt intentions.”

Since this new moon is focusing on finding equity and balance in our relationships, allow yourself to be completely open about your wants and needs — not just in your romantic relationships, but also in the one you have with yourself. Straightforward communication is the key to keeping each and every relationship in check, so use this week to make that a priority.

“The new moon is inviting us to sit down, put pen to paper and get really honest with ourselves,” Murphy says. ‘This is a huge chance to really slow down and reflect, as this is our last new moon where we will have six planets retrograde. While Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mercury are all in backspin, we get an opportunity to set some really big intentions and be bold about our goals and visions.”

One of those retrograde planets, though, may signal some extra commotion. Lisa Stardust, the author of Saturn Return Survival Guide and The Astrology Deck, says that this new moon will connect with Mercury retrograde and Mars, and the results may be a bit chaotic. “There will be a lot of pushback from people who feel ignored and that they’re not being given enough attention in relationships,” she says. “We can expect a lot of drama to unfold in partnerships.” Relationships are a two-way street, so if your partner, friend, or family member starts to get a bit dramatic, don’t dismiss them. Use the new moon’s energy to strive for harmony, and listen to what they have to say. You may just learn a valuable lesson.

The involvement of Mars is pretty important here, says Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com. “If we have been avoiding confrontation and asserting ourselves within our relationships, Mars can give us the nudge so our deepest needs can be expressed,” she says. “But if we have been too intense in our delivery, we can also use the diplomacy that only Mars in Libra can bring to us.” This can be used to your advantage — ask yourself, how have you been communicating lately? Is it balanced and fair, or have you been taking out your frustrations on those who are important to you? Recognize what areas you need to work on, and use this time (and the power of Mars) to make a change.

The day after the new moon, Pluto will square the luminary, bringing along conflict, power struggles, and arguments, according to Stardust. Although a bit rough, there’s still something we can get out of this energy. “The cosmic lesson from this new moon is to be more flexible and want to mend issues when they come up,” Stardust says. Again, that’s the power of Libra here — fairness and diplomacy are key themes, and we’ll be drawn to keeping things harmonious.

If you do anything during this new moon, direct your energy into something constructive, says Leslie Hale, psychic astrologer at Keen.com. “If you do not focus your energy toward productive activities, the more negative description of this moon can manifest,” she warns. If we use this energy wisely, though, Hale says it can lead to a great deal of solid, worthwhile accomplishments.

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Libra Season Marks The Start Of Chill Girl Autumn

The Last Mercury Retrograde of 2021 Is Here

Mars Is In Libra, So Chill Out (For Now)

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Elizabeth Gulino, DMT.NEWS, DMT BeautySpot,

In the summer of 2020, the girlboss was officially pronounced dead. (Since then, she’s been pronounced dead over and over, as if she only gets resurrected to be killed yet again.) Some mourned the loss. Some cursed her for ever existing. Some thanked her for shattering a glass ceiling, while others accused her of having simply reconstructed that ceiling all over again.

The girlboss didn’t live a long life; the term was coined by Nasty Gal founder Sophia Amoruso in 2014, and was intended to describe, well, someone very much like Amoruso: forward-thinking, powerful, inclusive — a boss, but, like, a cool boss.  The girlboss was the direct counterpoint to the “boss,” most likely the kind of wealthy white cis man who historically dominated the top ranks of the workforce, and who didn’t just wield power, but usually abused it. Meanwhile, the girlboss was billed as a beacon of hope for working women — for everyone.

It’s easy to see why the girlboss was such an appealing figure; the workforce was starved for new, more equitable leadership. They were supposed to be good bosses. But what last summer’s girlboss reckoning made clear was that the girlboss wasn’t any more virtuous or ethical than her predecessors — often the very men who put the girlboss in power in the first place. In fact, the girlboss rose to the top by exploiting the perception that she came from a disempowered place, and therefore would be sure to prioritize the professional empowerment of other disenfranchised people. But it didn’t happen that way. And that’s not simply because the girlboss wasn’t a good boss — it’s because the “good boss” doesn’t exist.

The girlboss wasn’t the first time a boss archetype was put on a pedestal. In the 2000s, the “creative genius” boss came into fashion, particularly in the tech world, embodied by the likes of Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerburg. (If that sounds ridiculous, remember that in 2013, Mark Zuckerburg was crowned the World’s Best Boss by Glassdoor, where he had a 99% approval rating.) This boss was supposed to be a brilliant strategist, a forward-thinking leader whose companies exploded with success thanks to their fearless innovation, constant hustle to change the world, and eagerness to bring their workers along for the ride. Only, that narrative was just a fantasy. Eventually, the stories began to trickle out: These bosses could be abusive, uncaring, fickle, ethically dubious. They cared more about their company’s success than anything else — including their employees’ wellbeing.

Then, there was the Machiavellian boss, popularly embodied in fiction as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada, but acknowledged to be a thinly veiled version of Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour. This type of boss wasn’t an obviously “good” boss — she wasn’t kind and she didn’t joke around with her employees. But, she was someone who you knew to respect, because she cared about her work with a fierce passion — and so, by extension, if she criticized you, it was only because she wanted you to succeed. That she was abusive wasn’t supposed to matter, until of course, it did start to matter. Wintour faced a reckoning of her own last summer, as she faced justifiable critique for racist and classist practices at Vogue. She still has her job, but her star has also dimmed.

This isn’t to say that, on an individual level, bosses can’t be nice, caring, or supportive. But people in positions of power — regardless of their gender identity or personality type or intelligence level or purported values — replicate the model of the bad boss, harming their employees in the process. But maybe the problem isn’t the person who becomes a boss, but rather the idea of there being a boss at all, and the system where the boss thrives.

“The way capitalism works, the job of the employer is to get the most effort — the most use of brains and muscles — from the worker as he possibly can, and at the same time pay that worker the minimum necessary to get that worker to come to work each day,” explains Richard D. Wolff, PhD, professor of economics emeritus at the University of Massachusetts, current visiting professor in the graduate program in International Affairs of the New School University, and co-founder of the non-profit Democracy at Work. 

This tension is inherent to the boss-employee relationship, because the employer profits by squeezing out ever-more work from their subordinates for ever-diminishing payment. It’s advantageous for a boss to ask a worker to come in early, for example, or leave late or work through lunch, without offering overtime pay. Not all bosses do this, of course, but the system exists in which “they’re better off the more you’re worse off,” Wolff says. And while there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence of good bosses — the one who fights for promotions, the one who takes a pay cut to raise the base salary of entry-level employees, the one who never makes anyone work late, the one who listens to and respects everyone’s ideas — those bosses are the rare examples of people who aren’t acting in their own best interests. Meanwhile, there’s a longer, rich history of complaints and criticisms about managers, and justifiable labor uprisings.

“Here we are, centuries later, still discussing all the ways that work is unsatisfying, stressful, and exhausting. This system, despite having recognized the problem and despite some reforms, has, in fact, never been able to really deal with it.”

Richard Wolff, PHD

The fight to whittle down the standard workday from 12-plus hours to eight took a century-long battle of American workers fighting, protesting, and campaigning; it wasn’t until 1938 that The Fair Labor Standards Act was introduced, which guaranteed a forty-hour work week for all laborers. There have been hundreds of other strikes, movements, and protests in the name of making capitalism more tolerable, but workers are still striking and pushing for more humane working conditions. The United Auto Workers labor union for General Motors went on strike for 40 days for higher wages and better healthcare in 2019. In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic in 2020, essential workers from companies including Amazon, Instacart, Whole Foods, Target, and Walmart went on strike to demand safer working conditions, better treatment, and better pay. The same year, hundreds of workers from McDonald’s, Burger King, Taco Bell, and Domino’s walked off the job to demand coronavirus protections, $3-an-hour hazard pay, and two weeks of paid sick leave to workers exposed to COVID-19. That’s to say nothing of the hundreds and thousands of people who work under intolerable conditions and yet can’t afford to walk out or stand up in protest and risk losing their primary source of income.

“Here we are, centuries later, still discussing all the ways that work is unsatisfying, stressful, and exhausting,” Wolff says. “This system, despite having recognized the problem and despite some reforms, has, in fact, never been able to really deal with it. That’s a sign that the problem runs deeper than this or that adjustment.” The true solution to America’s work problem, then, might just start with abolishing bosses altogether.

Getting rid of bosses isn’t a new concept. In the U.S., the first recognized worker cooperative — a company that gives equal power and ownership to each of its employees, effectively eliminating the hierarchical structure that creates bosses — was a mutual insurance company in 1752. “In this arrangement, there is no single boss,” Wolff says. “All the workers in an enterprise, whether it’s a factory or a store or an office, collectively, democratically, decide all of the major business decisions.”

It’s estimated that there are around 300 worker cooperatives in the U.S. today, a small number compared to other countries. In Bologna, Italy, two out of every three residents work in a cooperative — a reality that’s supported by the government through the Marcora Law. This law went into effect in 1985, and offers a choice to unemployed workers: Collect an unemployment check every week, or come together with nine other unemployed workers, cash in two years worth of unemployment checks as a lump sum, and use the money to start a worker cooperative. In Spain, as of 2012, there are an estimated 18,000 worker cooperatives, including the largest one in the world, Mondragón, which employs 70,000 people. These cooperatives offer proof that boss-less organizations can not just survive, but thrive. Without the normal hierarchical structure of the capitalist workplace, employees can come together to make the big decisions.

If this organizational structure sounds unfeasible in its commitment to equality, ask yourself why it’s any more reasonable for so many companies to operate in ways that only benefit a select few. And there are examples of how it can work in the U.S., including in industries that are notorious for their untenable business models, and infamous for their bad bosses — like digital media, for example. 

Defector Media, an employee-owned sports and culture website, is one such example of a worker cooperative. At Defector, the entire staff decides what to cover and how to handle issues like ad placements, with the help of specific committees (every employee must be on one committee). And while there are people at the “top” of Defector’s masthead — an Editor in Chief, a VP of Revenue and Operations, etc. — the rest of the staff has the power to fire them, if a supermajority votes for it.

“[So] much of our conflict was because of bad situations created by our corporate overlords. Once you remove that pressure and that stress and those situations… it’s just so much easier now to really be engaged with my job.”

Diana Moskowitz

If this sounds like a dream situation, know that starting a worker cooperative in media wasn’t easy. “Since we are doing something new, it’s not like there’s a thing that we can point to and be like, ‘oh, well that’s the answer, that’s how it’s always been done’,” says Diana Moskovitz, Investigations Editor at Defector. “We don’t really have that. It’s just an ongoing conversation we’re all constantly having.”

But still, Moskovitz says it’s all worth it. “It’s been really fascinating to see how much easier it is to do my job and easier to get along with all of my colleagues and coworkers and just work with them,” she says. “[So] much of our conflict was because of bad situations created by our corporate overlords. Once you remove that pressure and that stress and those situations… it’s just so much easier now to really be engaged with my job.” 

Worker co-ops do have cons. It can be difficult to create change internally or to reach decisions, because every voice must be heard. All employees must fully buy into the cooperative structure for it to truly work, which can be a tall order for bigger operations. And since co-ops still have to exist and compete with traditionally structured businesses, some argue that many of the same issues seen in a hierarchical workplace structure — unpaid overtime, low wages — may still exist inside the co-op. And yet: “It’s not that a worker cooperative system wouldn’t have its problems. It would, but it would find its own solutions, just as capitalism doesn’t have a solution to all its problems,” Wolff says. “I think we are at the point, in the U.S. especially, where people are done with capitalism.”

While Defector’s model is being closely watched by others in the media industry, which has grown increasingly unstable, joining or forming a cooperative isn’t the only way media workers, for example, have asserted control over their unequal work situations. Many editorial staffs — including Refinery29’s — have unionized in recent years, in an attempt to ensure employees have a seat at the table when big decisions are being made and have made progress in areas like salary increases and holding leadership accountable. 

This groundswell of a movement might not have changed most people’s work realities yet, but that doesn’t mean it won’t. Wolff, for one, has hope. “I have never, in my life, seen this amount of questioning of capitalism,” he says. “For the mass of the American people, it isn’t working well — it hasn’t been — and there’s no prospect that it’s going to be. I think it’s over.” 

If the future of capitalism is uncertain, so too is the future of the boss — no matter how “good” or “girl”-y that boss may be. This time, let’s not bring the boss back at all.

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Millennials Never Wanted Ping Pong Tables At Work

Are Your Childhood Dreams A Scam?

Why Burnout Is A Broken Promise

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Elizabeth Gulino, DMT.NEWS, DMT BeautySpot,

Here it is — the final Mercury retrograde of 2021. So far this year, we’ve made it through a mentally exhausting retrograde in Aquarius and a chaotic, gossip-loving retrograde in Gemini. But this time, we might be catching a bit of a break. From September 27 to October 18, the speedy planet will be doing its backwards dance in Libra, a sign known for being peaceful and harmonious — and relationship-oriented.

Libra is ruled by Venus, the Planet of Love and Affection, and as a result our social lives will be the star of this retrograde. This transit “will deepen the need to recalibrate our most important relationships, a theme that was started by the sun’s entrance into Libra,” according to Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com. Retrogrades tend to be opportunities to reflect on certain areas of our life. “Since Libra is the sign of one-on-one partnerships, Mercury retrograde will have us revise, review, and rethink how we are relating to one another as a way to find more balance and fairness within our most important bonds,” Montúfar says. During this transit, we’ll be asked to consider how we relate to all of the people in our lives, including romantic partners, friends, family, and even our coworkers, and how we can make our communication more harmonious.

Right when Mercury enters its retrograde, it will be locked in a square with transformative Pluto. “This will expose a lot of existing relationship patterns that are up for renewal,” says Montúfar. “Suddenly, we will feel the need to reshape the way we interpret and communicate information, and therefore, transform how we express our needs with our partners, our bosses, and other important people in our lives.”

For the next month, really take the time to think about how you’ve been communicating with the people in your life. Is it productive? Respectful? Efficient? Also think about how you want to be communicated with. Do you want your boss to give you straight-to-the-point constructive criticism, or would you rather receive feedback packaged in a compliment sandwich? Think on it, and then let them know — but maybe after Mercury stations direct, so your words won’t be misconstrued.

There’s extra incentive to take advantage of this period of reflection, says Lisa Stardust, the author of Saturn Return Survival Guide and The Astrology Deck: Due to this aspect with Pluto and another with the centaur Chiron, “we can expect to experience a lot of healing and transformation around these matters — particularly about exes and frenemies of the past who are resurfacing.”

Of course, this is still a Mercury retrograde, and as such, we should still expect some communication mishaps. From October 5 to October 10, Mercury is going to meet with Mars, which could trigger intense exchanges with our nearest and dearest, according to Montúfar. “We must be careful with what we say, and most importantly, how we say it,” she warns. “When Mars and Mercury meet, words can feel like weapons, and around this time, we could really say something that we, later on, could regret.” Word of advice? Zip it — or, at least, think before you speak. Retrograde or not, that’s always a good idea when communicating with others.

So, how do we prepare for it all? It’s pretty simple and gentle: Take it easy. “Retrograde Mercury is part of the natural cycle of life and it is not anything out of the ordinary as it occurs so often,” says Leslie Hale, psychic astrologer at Keen.com. “Everything serves a purpose and the purpose of a retrograde Mercury is to slow down a bit.”

Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution, agrees. “Seriously, slowing down helps avoid so many of the Mercury Retrograde pitfalls. Reading and rereading travel itineraries, leaving extra time for transit, proofreading that proposal and double- or triple-checking all recipients on NSFW Snaps will all majorly pay off,” she says. Murphy also says that this is the time to focus on our “re” words: revisit, redo, reassess, revise, retry, reclaim, re-envision, and retreat.

So, take a breath. We’ve been through, and survived, chaotic, questionable retrogrades before, and this one is no different. We know the basics of what Mercury retrograde does to us — technological mishaps, chaotic travel, brain fog, and misunderstandings. But if we prepare, this transit could just be another bump in the road of a rocky 2021.

“This Mercury retrograde is going to go in like a Real Housewives Reunion show and go out like the end of a SoulCycle class,” says Murphy. “It’s going to start out dramatic, uncomfy, and maybe even a touch snarky in the way it calls you out.” But once we’re on the other side, it’s all going to be worth it. Murphy says we’ll get the clarity we need — even if we have to sweat a little to get there.

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Libra Season Marks The Start Of Chill Girl Autumn

Mars Is In Libra, So Chill Out (For Now)

Venus In Scorpio Is That Bitch

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Elizabeth Gulino, DMT.NEWS, DMT BeautySpot,

Although summer ended in spirit after Labor Day, its official expiration date is September 22. That’s when the sun moves into harmonious Libra and the day of the Fall Equinox, which means it’s time for us to kiss hot vaxx summer goodbye and embrace chill girl autumn with open arms.

“When the sun enters Libra, there is a greater energy or desire for peace and balance within ourselves and with others,” says Leslie Hale, psychic astrologer at Keen.com. But the sun isn’t entering Libra solo this month — both Mercury and Mars are in the sign of the scales, creating something called a stellium, which refers to a group of three or more planets that are transiting through the same sign. Hale says this energy is giving us a “powerful opportunity” for achieving the equilibrium we crave during this time.

This new astrological time period will place a significant emphasis on revamping our love lives and taking the next steps in our relationships. “This Libra season, we are going to be doing some major DTR work,” says Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution. “With Mars and Mercury both in the sign of the scales, our partnerships, romances, and relationships are going to be front and center.” They’ll call it cuffing season — but you’ll know everyone’s rush to find romance is the stellium at work.

To move forward in partnerships, though, one must be patient. “Giving your relationship a little room to breathe may be just the ticket,” Murphy says. “Libra is a Cardinal air sign reminding us that the best partnerships thrive when they are given space. Like blowing on embers, air is sometimes the thing you need to rekindle a spark.” As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And if you’re single, don’t sweat it; Libra season (which extends through October 22) is conducive to putting yourself out there. “This would be a great time to go back and edit any of your dating profiles or refresh your ‘ideal partner’ list based on what you learned about yourself or others from the past year,” Murphy continues. “This is also the time to close out any loose end conversations with people you know aren’t meant for you. Trust us, it will make space for something better.”

This all sounds very peaceful and adult. But be warned, the sun in the sign of the scales may bring us some trouble this year, courtesy of the Mercury retrograde that lasts from September 27 to October 17. Mercury retrogrades always set the stage for miscommunications, and this one could cause you the bungle the steps you’re taking to straighten our your love life. “This transit will make us all want to take action around relationships — in good and bad ways,” says Lisa Stardust, the author of Saturn Return Survival Guide and The Astrology Deck. “Deciphering who’s healthy and not will be a core theme of the month ahead.”

The planets are giving us a couple assists to help us get through the Mercury retrograde, though. The new moon in Libra on October 6, for instance, will help us learn how to let go of those who are not serving us, Stardust says. On the flip side, the Aries full moon on October 20 will bring up emotional challenges, power struggles, and love triangles with others. “Control is definitely an important sentiment to note,” she says. “Not having authority or dominance over others will tilt us all off our center and create conflicts to occur within ourselves.”

There are plenty of bright spots this month too. Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com and author of Moon Signs: Unlock Your Inner Luminary Power, says the most positive day of Libra season will be on October 15, which is when the sun will form a positive trine with Jupiter in Aquarius. “This aspect will bring us opportunities to make new connections, learn something new, and explore the world around us,” she tells Refinery29. Jupiter is the Planet of Luck after all, so make sure to mark this day down in your Notes app and plan something positive to do that day.

“All this fiery and courageous influence will also feel like an injection of energy, which will be a welcome shift from the lethargic and sleepy energy that Virgo season brought us,” Montúfar says. So, this Libra season, prepared to be fired up — if not over a blossoming love, then with the relationship you have with yourself. Finding peace and tranquility within is something to strive for, and this season, it’s bound to finally happen.

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This week begins with a full moon in Pisces on Monday evening, but not before Mercury in Libra makes a trine to Jupiter in Aquarius. The combination of these two aspects offers a clarifying energy upon an otherwise muddy week. Clarity, in this case, has less to do with having all the facts straight and all the logistics ironed out, and more to do with recognizing the fragile and unpredictable nature of the world upon which we map our timelines. Mercury in Libra creates space for multiple versions of the same story, for perspectives that might differ from our own. This space harmonizes with Jupiter in Aquarius’s impulse to know more, to be each other’s teachers, and make way for further possibilities. The Pisces full moon follows suit, certain that whatever happens, it’s neither the end nor the beginning of who we are and what we’re capable of doing together. 

Of course, for those of us a little tired of trying to do very much of anything given the health of our Earth and the people on it, Mars in Libra mirrors us in the stars — moving a little slower, practicing greater discernment, surveying the scene from all sides before proceeding. But, moving slower isn’t the same as being idle, a reminder that the Sun in cardinal Libra will be happy to offer us come Wednesday. With Mars in Libra and Venus in Scorpio in mutual reception, Venus’ opposition to Uranus on Thursday and Mars’ trine to Saturn on Saturday are both sure to get our wheels turning. The direction those wheels turn, though — to say nothing of the amount of dust they kick up — is between us, our impulse control, and our accomplices.

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When I was 15, I thought that by the time I turned 25 I’d be a successful, confident, grown adult. I pictured myself traveling the world; I also figured I’d be making a ton of money. Unfortunately, neither of those things are true. In fact, in many ways I feel less like I know what I’m doing at 25 than I did at 15. 

Some refer to this as a quarter-life crisis: an introspective time filled with existential dread and unanswerable questions about the meaning and purpose of life that usually occurs during our mid-to-late 20s (assuming we’ll live to be 100, I guess). While it’s not as well-known as the mid-life crisis, people have been talking about the quarter-life crisis for decades. But some experts are saying that the historic pandemic we’ve been living through for the past 14-plus months has made this particular stage of life even more stressful.

For the past year, we’ve experienced insurmountable loss — including the loss of life, loss of jobs, and loss of security, which Caitlin Arthur, MA, MHC says has created a kind of crisis on its own. “The quarter-life crisis is a period of general uncertainty,” she tells Refinery29, adding that “the pandemic is, by definition, also a period of uncertainty.” During a quarter-life crisis, people tend to question their career direction, experience relational difficulties — whether with a romantic partner or with family or friends — and feel financial stress, she says. COVID-19 has brought all of those areas of life to the forefront as well, and taken away our sense of control over our lives. Which begs the question: Aren’t we all kind of experiencing the symptoms of a quarter-life crisis right now?

Angela Mastrogiacomo thinks so. “There’s almost this rush to figure it all out — and very quickly — which is how I remember feeling when I was in my mid-to-late 20s,” the founder of The Blossom Agency and Muddy Paw PR, tells Refinery29. “But now at 32, almost 33, I’m experiencing it all again in a completely different way.”

Instead of grappling with the idea of what to do with her undergrad degree or what city to move to, Mastrogiacomo is questioning whether her decade-long career choice is still right for her — and what the future could look like. “For 15 years, I was always like no, I’m never having kids,” she says. But something in the past year had caused her to change her mind. “I was trying to trace back to where that switch happened for me in the pandemic, and I’m not even sure. It’s just one of those things that I think through the fear, the anxiety, the being stuck inside, the sort of reevaluating things as you do when this major world event is going on, I started rethinking that part of it,” she says. “That was very strange and really alarming to me, because my whole identity — really a big part of it — was wrapped up in [not having kids], and then all of a sudden I was like, Wait, who am I? I was freaked out by it.”

Arthur says that the feelings being brought up by the pandemic is singularly similar to the quarter-life crisis — which, while similar to the midlife crisis, is in many ways still distinct. While the the former tends to be present- and forward-focused (a fear of falling behind or not meeting goals), the latter tends to be past-focused, and is characterized by a period of reflection on past accomplishments and sadness or insecurity around aging. One common thread that many people have expressed this past year is the sensation of losing time, or that time is running out, which is “a really common thought for people to have when they’re in this quarter-life crisis,” Arthur says. “When our lives are put on pause for a year, truly in every sense of the word, people feel like there’s no movement so that really exacerbates the issue.”

So, we’re all going through it — but actually being in your mid-20s right now can be uniquely challenging. A significant amount of young adults moved back into their childhood homes due to the pandemic. We’re not able to freely see our friends, or meet new people or work contacts during a time of life that’s usually particularly social. And the lack of travel, even just to and from our offices or our friends houses or really anywhere, has made us feel stuck and immobile, tied to the computer screen as we work, or look for work. And that ties into one of the main culprits of the quarter-life crisis: job security. Any notion we held that hard work equals career security has been smashed. Instead, the pandemic has made us realize that the dream job is dead and we’re better off prioritizing our lives over our nine-to-fives.

It sounds bleak, and in a way, it is. But the uncertainty we’re all feeling can point us towards something worthwhile: growth. “The beginning of the pandemic was so filled with anxiety that it was almost immobilizing in a lot of ways,” Mastrogiacomo says. “But I think it was a catalyst for rethinking all these things.”

If you’re experiencing the feelings of a quarter-life crisis at any age, there are ways to get out of it — or at least, get through it. Therapy can be useful, if you have access, Arthur says. “It’s so helpful to talk to somebody just to help with perspective,” she says. But she’s also a huge advocate for spending less time on social media. “Looking at other peoples’ highlight reels really does not help when we’re already feeling behind or like we should be farther along than we are,” Arthur says. Along the same lines, she suggests starting to take inventory of your accomplishments more often, to counteract the internal monologue telling you that you’re off-track. Finally, talk to other people who are going through the same experience as you, and try out new hobbies or volunteering, Arthur says. “For a lot of people, they work for eight hours a day, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, and do it all over again,” Arthur says, “so trying to create a more robust day to day life can be really helpful.”

Whether you want to call this period of uncertainty and existentialism a collective quarter-life crisis, an early mid-life crisis, or just a crisis in general, the one thing to remember — and maybe find comfort in — is that we’re not alone in this feeling of being lost. “I think we’re all trying to figure it out and I think, like everybody, I wish [the pandemic] had never happened,” Mastrogiacomo says. “This is horrible. It’s been devastating, it’s been everything awful you could imagine, but if I had to look at the silver lining I’d say that my life is going to look completely different than it would have — and I’m better off for it.”

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Jupiter is one of the luckiest planets in astrology, and it’s making its way into the dreamy sign of Pisces on May 13. This combo hasn’t happened since 2011 — and it’s something to get excited about. In fact, it’s being described as “a transit all astrologers have been expecting and looking forward to,” according to Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com.

This burst of angelic energy is exactly what we need as hot girl summer draws closer. Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution, says that the energy of Jupiter in Pisces is like “a guardian angel, a fairy godmother, and a sunny day at a peace-loving music festival combined.” She says that thanks to this transit, we’ll be getting “a juicy, magical summer of love.”

Of course, there’s a caveat: “It’s important to note that during this first Jupiter in Pisces rodeo, eclipse season and a very intense Mercury retrograde will be happening,” Montúfar warns. “For these two reasons, we might not yet feel the positive effects of this planet-sign combination.” But you’ll notice she said “first.” Jupiter will go retrograde on June 20, and as a result will re-enter Aquarius on July 28 before it heads back into Pisces on December 28, Montúfar says. That second Jupiter-in-Pisces placement is something to look forward to.

That’s not to say that this first taste will be totally blah. We’ll still be getting a healthy dose of luck and good vibes — and that energy will keep going for quite some time. “One of the reasons why the last few years have been so hard is because Jupiter has been transiting in Saturn-ruled signs, Capricorn and Aquarius,” says Montúfar. “As Jupiter enters Pisces, it will be in its own territory, since in traditional astrology, Jupiter rules Pisces. From this moment on, life will begin to feel easier.”

After a very intense 2020 and 2021, the promise of our lives becoming even slightly easier is more than welcome. Jupiter in Pisces is an extremely harmonious transit that should feel exciting, eye-opening, and illuminating for all of us. Leslie Hale, psychic astrologer at Keen.com, says that Jupiter in Pisces is related to creativity, spirituality, creative expression, and intuition, noting that faith and optimism may make a great comeback at this time. “Jupiter in Pisces will be about healing and compassion, and the roles of those who help and serve will be amplified,” Hale explains. “Romance may make a comeback with Jupiter in Pisces, along with the finer, more gentle qualities associated with love and romance.” In other words, we’re gearing up for one horny (and passionate) summer.

Lisa Stardust, the author of Saturn Return Survival Guide and The Astrology Deck, echoes this, adding that the transit will also give us the opportunity to implement healing into our lives. “We will be able to shape-shift our emotions, as Pisces is a water sign, and become understanding of the energies of the world at large,” she says. “Dreams can become a reality, as we are inclined to comprehend the visions within and make them a reality.”

There’s no limit to what we can dream and accomplish during this transit. “It will definitely be a time to let our imagination run wild and listen to our intuition,” Montúfar says. “In order to grow during this transit, we will have to open our minds and be more understanding of those around us. Pisces is, after all, one of the most open-minded and understanding signs, so we will have to channel our inner Pisces to fully take advantage of this transit.”

Of all the lovely themes of this transit, it seems like Jupiter in Pisces is mainly about one thing: freedom. “It’s like we have all been grounded by the Universe since early 2020. and now we are being let out of the house for the first time in a very long time,” Murphy says. Embrace this independence — you’ve earned it.

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At the end of last month, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced new face mask guidelines that gave people more opportunities to ditch the covering — news that caused many to rejoice (and some to feel a little apprehensive). And yesterday, Anthony Fauci, MD, the Chief Medical Advisor to the President, mentioned that it may be time for officials to start thinking about changing indoor mask wearing guidelines, too.

During an interview Dr. Fauci gave on Sunday to ABC News, he was asked if he agreed with others who said that it was time to relax the indoor mask rules. He replied, “I think so, and I think you’re going to probably be seeing that as we go along, and as more people get vaccinated… The CDC will be, you know, almost in real time… updating their recommendations and their guidelines.”

For now, though, nothing has changed: The CDC’s guidelines still say that fully vaccinated people should wear masks in indoor public settings. While Dr. Fauci said he agreed that these rules should be relaxed in the future, he also emphasized that continuing to prioritize getting vaccines into arms was key. “As you get more people vaccinated, the number of cases per day will absolutely go down. We’re averaging about 43,000 a day. We’ve got to get it much, much lower than that. When that gets lower, the risk of any infection indoor or outdoor diminishes dramatically,” he said to ABC News.

Currently, more than 152 million people in the U.S. have received at least one dose of a COVID-19 vaccine, and over 114 million people have been fully vaccinated, according to the CDC. That means around 58% of adults have received at least one dose of the vaccine, a number that President Joe Biden hopes to increase to 70% by July 4.

Even after guidelines begin to relax, we may never be saying a full goodbye to face masks. In a different interview with NBC’s Meet the Press on Sunday, Dr. Fauci noted that it’s likely that people who have grown used to wearing face masks will continue to do so — if not all the time, then at least seasonally, like during peak cold and flu season to prevent the spread of common illnesses.

We know that masks are part of an effective strategy when it comes to fighting infectious diseases. Flu cases have dropped dramatically this year: There were fewer than 2,000 flu cases confirmed in the U.S. while last year, there were around 38 million flu cases. Flu deaths have dropped, too. One child is reported to have died from the flu in the most recent flu season, compared to 195 deaths during the 2019 to 2020 season. “We’ve had practically a nonexistent flu season this year merely because people were doing the kinds of public health things that were directed predominantly against COVID-19,” Dr. Fauci said to NBC.

But even those who may opt to wear a mask in the future during cold and flu season are likely looking forward to a loosening of the current face mask guidelines, since that would mean that COVID-19 cases were decreasing and the pandemic was, hopefully, reaching an end. While Dr. Fauci’s words gave us something to look forward to, for now, we must continue to wear masks when we’re around people from outside our household, especially when we’re indoors.

And if you haven’t already, get vaccinated. As Dr. Fauci reminded us, as the number of fully vaccinated Americans goes up, the less likely we’ll see a surge in COVID-19 cases in the upcoming fall and winter, which will then lead us closer to normalcy, Dr. Fauci says. His hope? We’ll be back to normal one year from now. “I hope that next Mother’s Day, we’re going to see a dramatic difference than what we’re seeing right now. I believe that we will be about as close to back to normal as we can,” he told ABC, adding, “We’ve got to make sure that we get the overwhelming proportion of the population vaccinated.”

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Close your eyes and think for a minute: What is it that you desire most in this world? Is it a loving, caring parter? A truly supportive and tight-knit social circle? Freedom from a negative habit that’s been holding you back? Whatever it is, the new moon in hardworking Taurus on May 11 is the perfect time to start turning that desire into a reality — especially if you’ve been feeling trapped in your ways recently.

Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution, says that the power of this new moon can bring us the determination and dedication that we need to push us forward. “Take time to reflect on what you need to feel safe and secure, then align your intentions accordingly,” she suggests. “The more your dreams are in line with your heart, the more determined (and supported) you will be.” Asking for — or demanding — more pleasure, manifesting abundance and prosperity, and staying grounded are the themes of this new moon, she says.

According to Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com, the Taurus new moon is forming a sextile to both Neptune and the asteroid Pallas, which is in the dreamy sign of Pisces. “Both Neptune and Pallas will be activating our psychic abilities, imagination, and intuition as a way of formulating a powerful strategy,” she says. “Making vision boards, collages, and even drawings that represent your dreams is this new moon’s motto.” Your manifestation powers will be strong during this luminary, so take advantage if you’re so inclined: Try out the 369 method, visualize your future, and most importantly, take tangible steps towards your goals. (Yes, action is a key part of manifestation.)

Along with feeling good about your future, Murphy said the new moon in Taurus is also all about us feeling good in our bodies — meaning that indulging in physical pleasures should be one of our top priorities. “Some rituals to support this new moon energy include: practicing your abundance affirmations, upgrading your physical space, treating yourself to a new plant or crystal, ground your bare feet in the earth, or do some singing or chanting to flex that throat chakra muscle,” she says. If taking a long, hot bath is more your speed, that works perfectly too.

Besides getting yourself right, this new moon could also be used to strengthen your romantic partnerships. Lisa Stardust, the author of Saturn Return Survival Guide and The Astrology Deck, calls this new moon a time “to embrace our guilty hedonistic pleasures and love,” and “to heal, relax, chill, and make moves in your love life.” Stardust says this new moon can make us a little sentimental, so if you’re already coupled up, taking a cute trip down memory lane is sure to stir up the butterflies in your stomach.

Another important part of our lives impacted by this new moon: our finances. Taurus is a money sign, says Leslie Hale, psychic astrologer for Keen.com. As such, keep an eye out for financial developments — cash-related decisions to be made or big transactions, for instance. “We may feel more drawn to security and stability,” Hale adds. If you feel the urge to throw an extra couple of bucks into your savings account — or just opening a savings account — act on it. You’ll be setting you up for all kinds of success.

The potent Taurus energy of this new moon is bringing us plenty of opportunities to build something new. “It’s time to make some solid yet pragmatic plans and to ‘break ground’ on our next big project,” Murphy says. So if you have a wish, don’t discount it — even if your plans seem small, this new moon has your back in a really serious way. You never know what your first steps could lead to.

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When my grandfather passed away in 2009, I posted a status on MySpace that read, “rip grandfather <3”. Looking back, it seems cringey and performative — it’s not like he could see my status, and I wasn’t friends with anyone in my family on the platform (as a 13-year-old, I was too young to be on it anyway). But still, I felt compelled to publish that post. I wanted to not only feel like I was doing something tangible to recognize and acknowledge the death of someone I loved, but to invite others to grieve along with me, too.

We’ve come a long way since MySpace. Platforms like Facebook took off not long after top-eight lists ruled our lives. Instagram soon entered the picture along with Snapchat, LinkedIn, and most recently, TikTok, amplifying our reach and connections to others across the internet. And while social media is often seen as the highlight reel of our lives, there are instances in which people can get pretty deep and vulnerable with what they choose to share. As social media has evolved, so have our public displays of grief. From entire photo albums to heartfelt posts to carefully crafted video montages, our compulsion to share remains the same, but our feeds seem to play a role in shaping how we memorialize those we’ve lost.

Hayley Hendricks lost her father earlier this year. She posted the news to her Instagram and Facebook profiles, alerting her friends, family, and followers of his passing. As the months have gone on, Hendricks has continued to share photos and stories of her father whenever she feels low, or comes across something that makes her smile. “When my dad passed, I realized I had so many pictures and beautiful memories with him that I wanted to share,” Hendricks tells Refinery29. “It made me feel better posting pictures of us on vacation, videos of us dancing and laughing, and just showing people on social media how great our relationship was. I miss him all the time and when I share something on social media it makes me feel like I’m keeping his spirit alive.”

In many ways, Hendricks’ approach has become the norm. Plenty of people turn to social media while grieving to memorialize and remember what they loved about the person they lost, and to share the memories that they still hold onto. Far from being unusual, sharing in this way may actually be vital to the grieving process. “One of the things my favorite author and speaker, David Kessler, says is that grief needs to be witnessed to be healed,” says Liz Kelly, LCSW, therapist at Talkspace. “When we post on Instagram or Facebook about our loved ones who died, we’re allowing other people to be able to witness our grief.”

Kelly says this is why funerals and memorial services are so important; they help us process loss. But during the pandemic, not everyone was able to gather in this healing way. Hendricks’ father’s funeral, for instance, was a lot smaller than her family had anticipated because of COVID-19 precautions, something that she says “broke my heart.” “I wanted everyone to be able to say goodbye to my father, and they didn’t get the chance,” she says. “I needed more closure than I got.” For many, social media has become an increasingly important way to allow others to witness our grief.

Shannon O’Reilly’s brother, Thomas, passed away from addiction in 2019. Every so often, O’Reilly will post a memory or a photo of Thomas on Instagram. “With grief, I can be fine one day, but tomorrow I could be drowning. It’s this wave, where you’re out in the ocean and you’re just floating and trying to tread water and some days you can keep your head above and some days you can’t,” she says. “On the days I can’t, it helps me to find an old picture of him and put it on Instagram.” And sometimes, her brother’s friends will use the comments of the post to share their own funny or touching memories of Thomas. “I do enjoy the stories or somebody saying something about him, because it makes me realize that we all don’t just remember the bad times with him, that there actually were really good times. If I didn’t [share], I feel like I don’t know how else I’d keep his memory alive with other people not forgetting him, that he was here and that he mattered and that he wasn’t always like this.”

The grieving process doesn’t have a set end date, either, so social media can become a way to let your friends, family, and even coworkers know where you are in the process and how you’re doing, says Courtney Grady, whose father died in 2018. Grady started posting daily letters to her father on her Instagram page, where most of her colleagues followed her. “I could write how I was actually doing on my Instagram in a letter to my dad, and my coworkers could see that and could know,” she says. “It gave me that outlet in the morning so that I could have a little bit more strength to grin and bear the work day.”

But sometimes, the thought of exposing our grief and innermost thoughts to an audience can be intimidating. Before her husband, Mo, passed away due to a heart attack at the end of 2019, Dr. Alisha Reed had already built a substantial social media platform. After her loss, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to continue using social media at all. “At the time, I thought that I was going to be in a dark hole and crawl into a ball and just cry every day,” she says. But Reed did briefly share the news of Mo’s passing on her social media platforms, and in response, she received an immense amount of support from friends, family, and followers. “Everyone was so supportive and just reaching out and sharing memories and telling me to take my time and they would be here when I came back,” she says. “I decided to keep going and share my life as a widow and a single mom. And what I found was that a lot of people don’t share that part of their lives. They don’t talk about grief or loss, and it’s just blossomed into an even bigger platform because people were able to see how I was dealing.”

Reed touches on another benefit of using social media to share grief: Doing so can help others who have experienced a similar loss feel less alone. “Any time that a difficult issue, behavior, or experience is shared, it helps normalize that experience for other people who are going through it,” explains Pamela Rutledge, PhD, media psychologist and director of the Media Psychology Research Center.

By sharing on social media, Reed was able to connect with other widows. She started “Mo Mondays,” inspired by the trend Man Crush Mondays, to post her thoughts and feelings surrounding his death at the start of each week. “That kind of caught on to where people were looking forward to seeing the pictures of us and the memories,” Reed says. “I felt like it allowed other people to grieve too, people that may have been holding it in and not wanting to express it. That was a huge part of my healing for me, being able to share those experiences.” Although Reed no longer posts an Instagram every single Monday, she has created a growing Facebook group for young widows in her area and started a podcast where she discusses grief along with other widows. She describes the community that’s blossomed as comforting.

“We are just able to share our thoughts and emotions with each other because we understand each other,” she says. “We’re able to communicate with each other and share our events and anniversaries and milestones with each other.”

Grief is often isolating, — especially during the pandemic, when we’re already disconnected from our wider social circles. So being able to create or find a community that understands how you’re feeling or what you’re going through can be indescribably helpful. And for all its flaws, one huge benefit of social media is its ability to host communities.

After losing her best friend and her twin in a tragic car accident, Leah Vanderpool posted about it on TikTok. She took part in a trend in which users post video montages of their “soulmate.” “I wanted to show my twin sister, Lane, because she’s my soulmate,” Vanderpool tells Refinery29. “Then it blew up, and I didn’t realize how many twins also lost their twins.” Now, the original video she posted has over 4.6 million views. “It actually really helped, because a lot of twins recommended me to join some groups on Facebook for twin loss… I joined, and it’s just twins posting about their grief and their experiences and people commenting and being supportive,” she says. “I personally haven’t posted or anything, but I do go through and read everyone else’s.”

While sharing one’s grief on social platforms can be healing, being vulnerable about such personal and sensitive experiences online does come with some risks. “Brené Brown, another one of my favorite authors and speakers, said that we should only share our story with people who have earned the right to hear them,” Kelly says. “Something to remember when you’re posting online is that you’re actually sharing your story with everyone, you’re not just sharing your story with people who have earned the right to hear it.”

In other words, when you post online, you don’t have control over other people’s responses or reactions — and with platforms like TikTok, where content can go viral in an instant, you may be welcoming in some not-so-productive comments. “At first when I gained a lot of followers, I was kind of scared,” Vanderpool says. “It’s not that I get hate comments, it’s more insensitive comments, like people being nosy and wanting to know the full story about everything.”

That’s why it may be helpful to take a beat before posting about grief, or before checking the comments and reactions to any sensitive posts you have shared. You can also enlist a trusted friend to scan the comments or reactions on vulnerable posts for you, and to weed out anything that may be upsetting. But even when the reactions are all positive, it’s still smart to be prepared for any kinds of emotions that may come up for you after opening yourself up to a wider audience.

People grieved online before the pandemic began, and will continue to once it ends. But exactly how we use technology to process and share grief is sure to continue to change. “The platforms change, and then people change, and then the platforms change,” says Dr. Rutledge. “This is an evolving system. As people start sharing more personal experiences, it becomes a more normal thing.”

While Kelly says she loves “that social media is really shedding some light on what grief actually is,” ultimately, whether or how you choose to share your journey on a public or semi-public forum is up to you. Some may choose to grieve quietly, while others are more inclined to be open about their ongoing process. No matter what feels right, though, it’s nice to know that, in this way, social media is there for us if we need it.

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