From hard seltzers to watermelon cider to Harry Styles' music video (iykyk), the flavor of the summer is undoubtedly watermelon. It's no surprise that we can't get our sticky paws off this flavor — it's refreshing but not too sweet, classically cooling, and borderline nostalgic after having to spend this year indoors and not grilling by the pool with a slice of watermelon in hand. With ready to drink alcohol sales up a whopping 178% in 2020 (according to Minibar), it feels perfectly summery to add a watermelon flavor to the roster. And, who knows, maybe by summer 2021 we'll actually be able to sip these babies outside.
Ahead, we've got some of the best watermelon booze you can buy right now, so if you can't live without that watermelon sugar (high!), then keep reading.
EDGEWATER, NEW JERSEY – APRIL 10: Due to tightening regulations, lines at stores are forming outside to facilitate social distancing while shopping, like at the Trader Joe’s on April 10, 2020 in Edgewater, New Jersey. COVID-19 has spread to countries throughout the world, claiming nearly 103,000 lives and infecting nearly 1.7 million people. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)
A Trader Joe’s representative originally told ABC News, “While this approach to product naming may have been rooted in a lighthearted attempt at inclusiveness, we recognize that it may now have the opposite effect — one that is contrary to the welcoming, rewarding customer experience we strive to create every day.” The statement went on to say that Trader Joe’s had been in the process of removing all “ethnically” modified versions of Trader Joe’s from its branding in the near future. However, according to a new statement on its website, the grocer has reversed course.
Dated July 24, 2020, the post read: “In light of recent feedback and attention we’ve received about our product naming, we have some things we’d like to say to clarify our approach. […] We want to be clear: we disagree that any of these labels are racist. We do not make decisions based on petitions.” The statement goes on to explain Bedell’s petition and concludes that it will not, in fact, be taking any steps towards removing these modifiers. Instead, the grocer said it makes decisions based on purchasing patterns and feedback from Crew Members and customers. The post ended by solidifying the reasoning behind the decision to keep these labels, “Recently we have heard from many customers reaffirming that these name variations are largely viewed in exactly the way they were intended — as an attempt to have fun with our product marketing.”
The two statements, from merely weeks apart, seem contradictory to one another, but the most recent statement is clear. In an email to Refinery29, a spokesperson for Trader Joe’s responded, “Based on customer feedback, over the years, we have changed the names of, or discontinued hundreds of products with name variations of the Trader Joe’s brand.” The spokesperson also restated that none of Trader Joe’s efforts “have ever been the result of a petition. And as for the remaining products containing what the petition called “racist packaging and branding,” Trader Joe’s told Refinery29, “We are continuing to evaluate them and if they resonate with customers, they’ll remain on store shelves. If they don’t, changes will be made.”
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I started watching Survivor in 2012, during the show’s 25th season. I was in college and the only reason I started watching was because I had a crush on a person that loved it. But, as a long-time reality TV fan, I was immediately hooked. I went back and watched every episode available on the internet and soon became that annoying person who yelled, “No spoilers!” when I had prior commitments on Wednesday nights. I found solace in the strong women and cheered for the underdogs. I spent hours internally debating whether I was a Sandra or a Parvati (I’m a gay Denise, in case you were wondering), and I even tried to make fire with sticks once.
Like many Survivor fans, I caught the bug and began dreaming of being a castaway myself. As I brainstormed ways to make my audition tape stand out, I began to peel back the layers of the show. I took notes on challenge strategies, shelter building, and alliances. I watched hours upon hours of it and, when I came up for air, I came to one definitive conclusion: Despite my deep admiration for the show, I will never play Survivor.
Exhibit A for why not: The treatment of Kellee Kim. In case you missed season 39 (Island of the Idols), Kim is a brilliant Harvard and Wharton grad; a woman of color who played a strategic game throughout her short tenure on the show. From the very beginning of her season, Kim voiced her discomfort with the way fellow contestant Dan Spilo was treating her, including, but not limited to, regular, non-consensual physical touch. Kim tried to rally her tribemates to vote him out, citing his sexual harassment as evidence, but instead, they voted her out. A few episodes later, Spilo was removed from the show by producers after another, off-camera incident occurred involving a crew member.
Kim had told everyone an uncomfortable truth, but nobody at the time listened — or cared. Instead, Survivor’s showrunners used Kim’s experience when it benefited them, and turned it into a pandering attempt at a #metoo moment during the reunion show, when host Jeff Probst called Kim’s situation complex and unprecedented and repeatedly said that they were turning Kim’s situation into a “positive.” This positive he spoke of consisted of new rules and procedures around harassment reporting on the show, which is great, but should have already been in place to begin with, and Kim should have been listened to from the get-go. Probst also apologized to Kim for her “pain,” but not for facilitating its existence. Kim told Probst that what had been hardest for her was that Spilo wasn’t removed from the game after she spoke up: “I wanted to be supported and believed, but I wasn’t, and now my Survivor experience is defined by sexual harassment.”
Despite the verbal show of support offered to Kim during the reunion show, it doesn’t appear that Survivor helped her heal in other ways. While other players who endure traumatic moments during the show have been offered psychological help after they compete, Zeke Smith, who appeared on Millennials vs Gen X and Game Changers and is friends with Kim, told Refinery29 that Kim was not offered any kind of mental health assistance after the show. Kim declined to comment for this story.
This was not an isolated incident of sexism for the show. Over and over again, Survivor’s women are forced to teach its men about the misogyny that runs deep in the show’s veins. One example that rattles in my mind involves Max Dawson, a Worlds Apart contestant known for teaching a Survivor college course before his appearance on the show, who worked to combat the show’s inherent sexism. During his season, Dawson quickly aligned himself with Shirin Oskooi, a woman of color who was called “psychotic” and “sociopathic” by some contestants, simply because she had learned how to kill a chicken before playing the game. After Oskooi was told by another contestant to “just sit there and look pretty” when she offered her opinion about who to vote off next, Dawson and Oskooi created a strategy they called “manslating” in order to play successfully with the rest of the contestants. “Shirin would tell me, and then I would tell the tribe, so they would think it was my idea,” Dawson told me over the phone. “They would listen to me, but if Shirin said the same thing, they would immediately shut it down.”
From shelter building to who gets to use the fishing gear to those final tribal council moments, there is sexism embedded at every turn in Survivor. At one of the last tribal councils of the most recent season (Winners at War, during which past winners of the game were pitted against each other), contestant Sarah Lacina explained the sexist optics at the core of Survivor: “If a woman in this game lies or cheats or steals, then she’s fake and phony and a bitch. If a guy does it, it’s good gameplay. If a guy does it, he’s a stud. What it is, is a gender bias, and it holds women back from how they should be allowed to play the game.”
During the Winners at War tribal council, Lacina, who also appeared on Cagayan and Game Changers, went on to explain various microaggressions that she had seen throughout her years on Survivor and began to tear up when she admitted that she felt like a bad person for playing strategically during the Game Changers season, which she won. Although it seemed like the men around her tried to understand what she was saying, one contestant could only relate by adding that we have to respect women because they are our “mothers and daughters” — bringing up the trope that women are only worthy of empathy due to their relationships with men. Survivor host Jeff Probst responded to Lacina’s speech by saying it invoked a cultural shift that’s “beautiful and amazing.” But what he failed to mention is that this isn’t the 1950s — it isn’t radical for a woman to fight her way to the top, it’s necessary. And once women do make it to the top, there is a constant battle to prove why they deserve to be there. In the end, Winners at War was won by a white man — a cop. Lacina’s speech didn’t change the game, it just further illuminated how it is irreparably broken.
While Lacina brought sexism to the forefront of this season’s finale, Survivor’s ingrained racism was wholly ignored. This was a season composed of winners — supposedly the best of the best of the Survivor universe — and yet there were only five people of color (the majority of whom were men) out of the 20 castaways. During the show’s 40 seasons, there have only been four Black winners — all of them men. The show has failed at racial diversity since the beginning. Many of the early seasons were majority white, and the people of color are often depicted according to racist stereotypes. Ramona Gray Amaro, the only Black woman on the show’s first season, told NPR the show depicted her as “lying around her team’s campsite early in the competition [making] her look lazy, feeding into stereotypes about Black people.” In reality, she had been taking a break because she suffered from dehydration. Amaro only lasted 12 days, making it less than a third of the way through. And she wasn’t the only Black contestant to tell NPR about their racist edit; in the Cagayan season, J’Tia Hart felt she was portrayed as lazy and uneducated, despite having a degree in nuclear engineering.
The show has publicly attempted to diversify, but the results leave a lot to be desired. In 2006, for its first foray into an actually racially and ethnically inclusive season (rather than just featuring one or two token people of color out of a cast of 20 people), Survivor decided to group contestants by race, and created four tribes, labeled “African-Americans,” “Asian-Americans,” “Hispanics,” (which is not a race, but I digress) and “Caucasians.” Unsurprisingly, this didn’t sit well with viewers, coming off as a publicity stunt rather than a true look at the show’s race problem. The season did produce the show’s first Asian winner, Yul Kwon, but it also forced players to “represent their race,” a phrase that is used throughout the season as the contestants try to explain to the cameras why they felt uncomfortable with this approach. After that season, Survivor never attempted to split tribes by race again.
While producers for the show were clearly eager to ignore racism — unless it could be utilized as a marketing gimmick — the contestants weren’t so easily silenced. During a tribal council on Island of the Idols, contestant Missy Byrd told Probst that she was disappointed that, after two Black people had won immunity, nobody brought it up as a win. Probst responded by admitting he didn’t even notice, and would have felt uncomfortable bringing it up if he had. A few moments later, Byrd was voted off the island. In this same season, Jamal Shipman was tasked with educating Jack Nichting on the racial microaggression of calling his buff a durag. They have a conversation about race until Nichting feels that his apology is sufficiently accepted. A trend emerges — people of color are either forced to educate their white counterparts so that the show can get a pat on the back for directly dealing with racism, or POC are forced to change their behavior to fit within the veiled white supremacist patriarchy inherent to the game.
While Shipman was tasked with educating fellow castaways, Byrd felt that her time on the island was most important for the viewers at home. “I felt more of an obligation to educate than I did to win,” Byrd told me. “Of course the million dollars would have changed my life and my family’s life, but when you’re out there it’s apparent that one of these things is not like the other and that one thing is me. The day after another Black player and I won the necklace and we didn’t speak about it, I was angry. I suddenly cared so much more about talking about race and our accomplishments as Black players than I did about the game. My immunity win felt like a fluke to the producers; it wasn’t part of their storyline.”
When she watched her season, Byrd felt that she was absolutely tokenized and that her edit was one of a stereotypical scary Black person. “I was cutthroat, I played hard, but my edit only showed that side of me,” she explained. “I’m a Cancer — I cried every single evening because I was so happy to be there. Yes, I was strategic, but I also danced naked in the rain. My edit never even showed me crack a smile. When fans walk up to me now, they’re surprised that I can smile. I was stereotyped as scary and angry and I can feel it still.”
Byrd’s storyline is not the only one of its kind — we see similar storylines with players such as Michaela Bradshaw and J’Tia Hart. Hart was written off as “crazy” during her season (Cagayan) and Bradshaw basically had to be taught to play better with the white people. In Game Changers, Cirie Fields, an older Black woman, mentored Michaela Bradshaw and encouraged her to work on hiding her emotions. The two became allies, but Bradshaw’s edit remained the same — she was seen as mean until the moment she was voted off.
The racism and sexism in Survivor is apparent on-screen, but it began off-camera. “There are very few people of color who work on the show and none in senior positions. There was one white woman who was high up on the show, but she has since left,” two-time contestant Zeke Smith told me. In the end, Smith is the person who convinced me never to audition for Survivor. Though he played an exquisite game, Smith also had to endure being outed as trans in an attempt to prove he was deceitful and should be voted out. “I think the show is getting better,” he told me. “But if you look at who is cast, they’ll cast any body type when it comes to men, but women, across the board, have to look good in a bikini.”
This kind of gender normativity shouldn’t be surprising on a show where, Smith said, “most of the top-level people… are almost exclusively white, cis, straight men,” but it does highlight Survivor’s problematic treatment of queerness. LGBTQIA++ people make up a very small percentage of Survivor contestants, with a majority of them being cis white men. There have been some lesbian contestants, but casting has avoided breaking any molds in that regard, and still stuck close to their aim of finding women who, as Smith said, “look good in a bikini.” Most of the time, though, queerness is ignored, brought up only during family visits (audiences might have assumed Elaine Stott was queer on her season, Island of the Idols, but it was only confirmed during a family visit and then not talked about much after). However, the presence of queer cast members is also used as a tool to feign inclusivity — creating situations where queer people are forced to expend emotional labor in order to educate a bigoted contestant. And, in one horrific instance, Survivor allowed a trans person to be outed for strategy.
Smith knew going into the game that his transness might be brought to light, but he was adamant about it not being his story — he didn’t want to be “the trans Survivor player.” He made it through his first appearance, on season Millennials vs Gen X, without mentioning his transness, but when he came back for Game Changers, he was outed by fellow contestant Jeff Varner in a failed strategy play. Though Smith felt good about the way the show handled that episode, he was disappointed with the behind-the-scenes aftermath. “After being publicly outed, it would have been really nice to talk to someone [like a psychologist], who wasn’t in the game, but I was thrown back in,” Smith said. “Those 11 days that I played after being outed were some of the darkest days of my life.” While the producers did provide him with a therapist for one year after he was outed, Smith told me that due to his experience he “would absolutely never play again.” He went on to explain, “There is a significant toll that the game takes on your mental health, especially as the game has gotten more cutthroat. I was lucky enough to be given a therapist for a year afterward, but my work isn’t done, I’m still working through it.”
Smith was the first person that I spoke to when I began researching the show. I went into our interview starry-eyed and excited to speak to a queer player and left wholly disappointed with a franchise to which I had given so much of my time. Whereas I once sat back and enjoyed the magic of Survivor, I can no longer ignore the darkness so deeply embedded in the show’s DNA.
The problems that lie at the heart of Survivor have been there from its beginning, and while it would be nice to think that the show’s success happened in spite of its problems, the reality is, its success has probably been dependent on them. Survivor is one of the longest-running reality TV shows in history, with 40 seasons under its belt, over the course of 20 years. During that time, the show and host Jeff Probst have claimed to make progress on issues like racism, sexism, and homophobia. In particular, Probst has insisted that he loves to learn on-screen; he loves to talk about what it’s like to live as a trans person or a woman or a person of color. But perhaps what he means is that he loves to seem like he’s learning in order to give audiences the narrative arc they intuitively want. Real learning — for Probst and producers — would mean that there would be changes in everything from casting choices to manipulative edits that enforce gender stereotypes. Instead, the show has demonstrated that it only learns when it wants to learn, and acts like a ‘50s sitcom when it wants to entertain. Hearing players such as Smith and Dawson — both of whom once had deep love for the game — tell me that they’ll never play again was eye-opening for me. After years of having Survivor as a staple in my life — a problematic fave, admittedly — I’ve realized that, until the show reckons with its systemic prejudices, I’ll be snuffing my torch, maybe for good.
Survivor’s network CBS and contestant Dan Spilo had not responded to Refinery29’s request for comment at the time of publication.
In its early days, reality TV was an easily mocked amusement that “serious” people talked about in hushed tones. Today, it’s an Emmy-awarded genre in its own right, and perhaps the most important and relevant form of entertainment in a world where we document and distribute every moment of our lives in high definition. But now, against the backdrop of anxiety-inducing headlines and societal upheaval, the previously low-stakes genre provides welcome relief (See: Hyori’s Bed & Breakfast ), cultural commentary (see: Survivor ) and an examination into how the country got here (see: Vanderpump Rules). In 2020, there’s trulyno escape from reality, whether it is playing out on our screens or outside our door.
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As COVID-19 continues to spread, many states are pausing or rolling back their reopenings, forcing restaurants across the country to reevaluate their plans. While some restaurants have adapted since March, offering takeout and outdoor-only dining, those without the luxury of outdoor space or takeout-friendly food are now being forced to permanently shutter at an alarming rate. According to Yelp’s most recent Economic Average report, 60% of restaurants previously marked as “temporarily closed” have now closed their doors for good.
The report also reveals a very clear correlation between increased interest in Yelp businesses such as restaurants, bars, and gyms, and new COVID-19 cases. As restrictions have decreased and activity has increased, Yelp has identified hot spots for new cases in Florida, Nevada, Texas, South Carolina, Georgia, and other states that match with high levels of attendance at Yelp businesses.
But as some states pull back on reopening and the future of small businesses becomes even murkier, temporary closures are becoming permanent ones at a staggering rate. Of all the business hit hard during this pandemic, the restaurant industry now has the highest number of permanent closures with 15,770 restaurants shuttered for good as of July 10. Right behind the restaurant industry is the bar and nightlife industry with 44% of temporary closures becoming permanent. The states with the highest percentages of closures at the time of Yelp’s report are Hawaii, Nevada, California, and Arizona — with most business owners citing recent COVID-19 breakouts and high rent among the reasons for closing for good.
Yelp did, however, find one positive in this sea of closures: search for Black-owned businesses is at an all-time high. Search for all Black-owned businesses is up 7,043% from last year with searches up for everything from Black-owned restaurants (up 2,508%) to Black-owned ice cream shops (up 161%).
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There is no question in my mind that Oatly is the superior milk. As a previous cow milk truther, I admit I was initially skeptical. After failed relationships with almond, soy, and coconut milk, I didn’t want to like oat milk, but I am a true blue convert. And there’s no question in my mind that Oatly is the king of oat milk (particularly the Barista Edition, if you know you know). Oatly mixes into coffee so well, froths up better than normal milk, and makes smoothies taste infinitely creamier. And you don’t have to just take it from this internet stranger — Oprah thinks so too.
In a landmark investment moment, Blackstone Group — an investment group that includes Oprah, Natalie Portman, former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, and Jay-Z’s entertainment company — is now the proud owner of 10% of Oatly. Their 10% stake cost them $200 million, which values Oatly at a whopping $2 billion. That’s a lot of oats.
In the past few years, oat milk, and Oatly in particular, has taken off. With a more eco-friendly process than almond milk and a better texture and taste than coconut and soy milk, it’s been a no brainer for plant-based milk seekers. Plus, Oatly has recently entered the ice cream game, giving lactose-intolerant people everywhere a dream come true in the form of creamy mint chip goodness. And the numbers don’t lie — Oatly sales are up 300% from last year and are continuing to rise. So shoutout to Oprah for seeing a trend and getting that dairy-free, gluten-free paper.
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The first time I pulled out an eyebrow hair with my fingers, I felt a surge of dopamine so strong, I cried. I was in my early twenties, in my then-girlfriend’s bed, trying to fall asleep after a night of being dragged to smoky warehouse parties. As a capital-I introvert with an anxiety disorder to boot, I hate most parties, but I would have done literally anything to keep my girlfriend from breaking up with me. Spoiler alert: She broke up with me. Before that happened, though, over the course of our tumultuous six months together, my eyebrows thinned and shortened. By the time it was over, I basically had cartoon villain eyebrows — short and always pointed down, like I was constantly furious. Three months later when I finally got a diagnosis of trichotillomania, my eyebrows were gone.
Trichotillomania is an impulse control disorder that causes people like me — and up to two percent of the population — to compulsively pull out our hair. For me, it’s my body hair. It started with my eyebrows, then slowly moved to every other part of my body, except my head. Unfortunately for me, my trich onset happened at the same time as I began to come into my own gender expression, which manifested as a desire to grow out my body hair.
For many queer people, body hair is a key part of gender expression. “I love seeing my strong calves, covered in my Italian heritage hairs with bright tattoos and a decent tan.” says Shelly, a 27-year-old photographer in Brooklyn, NY.
Others, such as Anjimile, a 26-year-old transmasculine musician in Boston, MA, see body hair as a tool for gender expression, and a way to make a statement. “I relate my body hair to my transness, but I also see it as a way to go against mainstream body hair expectations,” Anjimile says.
Many other queer people that I interviewed struggled with the fraught cultural implications of shaving and the desire to remove body hair. Abby, 24, a Latinx bisexual law school student, explains, “Historically body hair has been incredibly racialized, with a lack of body hair associated with whiteness, cleanliness, and civilization. For me, it’s been challenging recognizing that I feel better about my body when I shave, while understanding that this feeling is inherently rooted in white supremacy.” When Abby removes her body hair, it’s for herself. “I want and deserve to make decisions about my body and feel comfortable in my own skin. That often means removing body hair.”
And for some, a mix of shaving and growing out is a way to express gender when words won’t do the trick. Lily, 23, shaves her legs, but grows her armpit hair, “I identify as a woman, but I do feel some genderqueerness. I don’t identify as non-binary or trans, but my body hair (as well as my short head hair) makes my gender expression feel right. It’s the little things.”
Two years ago, my body covered in three-day-old stubble, I threw away the razor I bought as a rite of passage when I was 12. This act gave me that same surge of dopamine that trich had given me years before. It felt meaningful to let my leg hair grow, to ignore my bikini line, to see if my armpits could grow more than seven strands apiece.
I remember the first time I wore a bathing suit with unshaven legs. I had been growing them out for a few months, and the thin, dark hair crawling up to my thighs made me feel deeply connected to my womanhood. The intersection of gender and queerness has twisted my brain for years — words like femme and butch don’t feel good to me, and though I’ve always longed for androgyny, I felt like a liar until I stopped shaving. I watched the hair grow on my legs, in my armpits and across my pubic bone — and I felt powerful and sexy and deeply androgynous. But, as my eyebrows lost their final hairs, my fingers had nowhere left to turn except the coarse thick curls scattered along my body. Despite my best efforts, I began to pull.
For many queer and trans people, hair removal is an essential part of their gender expression. Avery, 35, a trans woman in Philadelphia, PA, started shaving her legs and arms over a year before she started hormone therapy. “My facial hair is my biggest issue,” she says. “Right now, I have to shave every few days, but it used to be every day. Last year, I had laser hair removal, which thinned the hair, and now I’ve started electrolysis, which will permanently remove it.” When she started to transition, the first thing she did was grow out the hair on her head, “My body hair and I have always had a complicated relationship. And I was never allowed to grow my head hair out while I lived under my parents’ roof. Boys aren’t supposed to have long hair [in strictly Christian households].”
Once Avery started hormone therapy she was thrilled to see hair leaving parts of her body that felt too masculine. “The hair on my chest, my upper thighs, and my nipples just stopped growing. My skin is softer, and the body hair I have grows so much slower,” she says. She explains that her lack of body hair has been a big part of her passing; she lights up when she tells me that people see her and assume she’s a woman, even after hearing her low voice. It’s not just the outside world. “I look in the mirror now and I see a girl. I look in the mirror and I see myself.”
Though it’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to remove my body hair with intention, Natalie Venus De Hull (who uses they/them pronouns) could be the person who changes my mind. Natalie, 44, runs Sugaring Brooklyn, an all-gender body-positive safe(r) spa for hair removal services. They practice sugaring, an ancient process that uses a wax-like mixture of sugar, lemon, and water to remove hair from anywhere on the body.
“We focus on body hair curation,” they explain. “We have a good mix of clients. Some come in and want complicated designs in their body hair because that’s what makes them feel good, and some want me to take it all off — the baby porpoise pussy is a very valid look as well. We don’t pressure anybody into any decisions. We talk to them about what they want, prep their skin, and walk them through every step before we begin any kind of removal.”
I’m intrigued by the idea of purposeful body hair design, but I feel like my scarred-up trich body doesn’t deserve sugaring. So I almost scare myself when I blurt out, “Can I come to you even if I have trichotillomania?” Natalie laughs and says, “No way, me too!” We share a moment of quiet joy over our mutual vulnerability; then they assure me, “Of course, you can come in. We’ve been working on growing our skincare processes to fit people who feel shame about picking or tweezing. We want to create a space where you don’t feel judged, but rather one where we can help you with your skin goals. I even teach people how to pick in a way that’s better for their skin. If you’re going to pick, you might as well know how to do it right.” I basically cry my way through the rest of the interview.
Natalie’s goal is to create a positive, empowering, and accepting environment. “So many people come to us with dysphoria and body trauma, I think it’s really important to give them a ritualistic glorification of their bodies,” they explain. After we say goodbye, I sit for a minute and take in what I’ve learned. The way Natalie speaks about their work makes me feel safe; safe to not only wear my body hair how I choose, but to be in my body — even with all its hairless scars.
Today, I have less hair on my body than I did that day I threw my razor away. My legs are still hairy, but they’re patchy. My armpits are picked clean and my bikini line looks like it’s been waxed. I haven’t had eyebrows since 2017 (though I’ve got some great fake ones, thanks to microblading artist Saki Lee). And though I’m engaged to a woman and my style screams androgyny, I feel less like myself than ever before.
It’s a cognitive dissonance you don’t think about until you’re living inside of it. I want to be hairy to confirm who I am as a person, but who I am as a person compulsively removes my body hair. This cognitive dissonance does a lot to me, but mostly it leaves me feeling deeply embarrassed. I cannot control what I want to be, and it’s my own brain’s fault. I don’t know if I have a solution — or if there is one. If anything, I think I’m seeking permission for gender expression and body hair to be two separate entities, but I’m not sure how to break down a gendered dichotomy so ingrained in my brain. For now, I simply have to exist in the in-between.
This morning, I pulled on a pair of Wildfang boxer briefs that perfectly conceal my ingrown scars. I paired it with a Calvin Klein bralette with a thick band that tenderly frames my torso tattoos. I threw on a comfy pair of high-waisted shorts and a crew-neck crop top in preparation for work-from-home day who’s-even-counting-anymore. I spent the first few hours of the morning sitting on my couch, my hairy legs dappled in sunlight, my fingers too busy to pull.
For a few moments, I feel at peace. For a few moments, I can forget.
All interviews have been edited for length and clarity.
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As the world continues to turn (albeit it very slowly, how is it not April 59th right now...), we come again to the unofficial National Marijuana Day — 420. This year, the holiday is void of its typical celebrants. There are no college students spread out on picnic blankets with bongs and endless snacks, no pot-themed parties across the country, and not a single person will be celebrating anywhere outside of their immediate home unit (hopefully, please stay inside).
Though there won't be any public partying this year, in some states, budtenders (people who work at cannabis stores) are considered essential workers. Perhaps not an obvious necessity, budtenders still go to work every day to provide medicinal cannabis for those who need it, and in places like California, those who just want it to get through quarantine. Ahead, we spoke with budtenders across the country about what their jobs are really like.
Interviews have been edited for length and clarity.
Victoria (Vjack) Jackson, Budtender at From The Earth in Los Angeles, CA
What is the day to day of a budtender like?
"As a budtender and advocate for cannabis, I aim to educate the consumers and share at least one more thing about cannabis they didn’t know before coming into the store. In return, I learn something as well because it helps me to understand different perspectives on how and why they use cannabis."
What is your salary (or the average salary/hourly wage at your shop)?
"On average I’d say your budtender makes $14/hr. Remember to always tip your budtender!"
How did you get into budtending/the cannabis space?
"From my experience, being raised in a Black and Latinx community, the stigmatization of cannabis negatively affected my peers. Its use was discouraged, mainly due to the unsuccessful and harmful campaign for the war on drugs. So, once I did my research, I immediately decided to advocate for cannabis and educate people."
What is the strangest/most unexpected part of your job?
"The weirdest part about my job is that I’m involved in a business that was highly illegal just a few years ago."
What's the hardest part about your job?
"As a budtender, the toughest part is seeing consumers still being denied access to medicate."
What's the best part?
"The best part about being in the industry is knowing I am a part of something bigger than myself. Budtending gives you a front-row seat to see how many people cannabis has helped. I also enjoy getting the chance to work to destigmatize cannabis."
What is it like being a woman in the cannabis space?
"As a black woman in this industry, I definitely shine a light on the cannabis industry’s inclusivity problem. It is deeper than advocating for just cannabis legalization, but advocating for social equity for people of color in the industry."
Kaylyn Smith, Senior Patient Consultant at Beyond/Hello in Philadelphia, PA
What is the day to day of a budtender like?
"The day to day life of a budtender starts by waking up to smell the flower! Haha well, in some states...Pennsylvania has very strict laws when it comes to flower. Everything is prepackaged here, so you really have to go off of lineage, terpenes, and word of mouth/personal experience with each strain. It's fun to compare favorites, talk to folks about which products are helping them most, and waiting for new stuff to come in! Other than that, it’s mostly just keeping busy taking orders, keeping things up to date on your menus, and trying to keep up with your cannabis knowledge!"
What is your salary (or the average salary/hourly wage at your shop)?
"The starting wage at Beyond/Hello is $15. I'm paid hourly at $16 as a Senior Patient Consultant and there is room for growth!"
How did you get into budtending/the cannabis space?
"I was lucky enough to get into the cannabis industry after making a move from Maine to Pennsylvania. I was a regular cannabis user before moving and saw the position posted online. You don't have to have any kind of special experience with cannabis to get into the cannabis space, just a passion to learn about the science of the plant and wanting to help others. All it took for me to become a patient consultant was honestly sharing my prior experiences with cannabis while applying for the job!"
What is the strangest/most unexpected part of your job?
"The most unexpected part of my job is probably when you have an older patient walk in and dive straight into talking about high THC concentrates like they've been doing it since they were born."
What's the hardest part about your job?
"The hardest part about my job is definitely working through the trial and error period a lot of people find themselves in when looking for a product that works best for their pain. Sometimes it takes a few attempts and a few different products to find the best match. "
What's the best part?
"The best part of my job is definitely the opposite end of that spectrum and helping people find the product that does work best for them. To see the 180 that can take place with someone after getting the relief they've been waiting for. The stigma against cannabis is still very apparent. It’s really rewarding to see someone who comes in completely intimidated by the thought of cannabis use at first come back after a few months as a cannabis pro!"
What is it like being a minority in the cannabis space?
"I identify as non-binary trans and use they/them and I find working in a cannabis space as a trans person to be really rewarding! I think cannabis, in general, makes people more prone to be able to talk to one another and it induces some deep thinking in a lot of us. I'm lucky enough to be working in a store right in the gayborhood of Philadelphia, so there's definitely a vibe of understanding. People are still working on getting pronouns right all the time but Beyond/Hello offers pronouns stickers to make it a bit easier for folks to be gendered correctly and that helps a lot."
Is there anything else you'd like to share?
"If you are passionate about cannabis, I would definitely recommend applying to work at a dispensary if you ever have the opportunity. I had always dreamed of working with cannabis and it has been an amazing experience. Through this job, I've had the opportunity to meet folks who are truly dedicated to the wellbeing of others."
Kristine Cajucom, Budtender and Sales Lead at Harborside in San Jose, CA
What is the day to day of a budtender like?
"The day to day for a budtender would be servicing our community and building relationships with our customers so that they feel a sense of comfort when coming into our shop. We build strong relationships with individuals so they can trust our recommendations. The day to day for a budtender is ultimately giving genuinely great service, “genuine” being the keyword."
What is your salary (or the average salary/hourly wage at your company)?
"I am personally an hourly employee, and the average wage for regular budtenders at my shop is $18/hour."
How did you get into budtending/the cannabis space?
"Cannabis has always been something I have been interested in, from the sweet and pungent aromas of each strain to the thousands and thousands of different strains being crossed with different genetics out there to try. My interest in cannabis has only evolved as the industry itself has evolved. I first got introduced to the industry by one of my best friends who was working at a dispensary. At first, it was just a job to help me get through college expenses, but soon enough became a full-time job and I've been in the industry since then."
What is the strangest/most unexpected part of your job?
"I think with part of having a good understanding of who I am dealing with in terms of customers, I just have to know how to approach each individual. There are no right or wrong questions that can be asked, therefore I feel like the only odd part of my job would be customers assuming we (budtenders) are some kind of doctor and demanding to see our credentials. Again, top recommendations are all we can suggest, but in no way shape or form are we doctors prescribing medications. But I would say that would be the strangest part of the job."
What's the hardest part about your job?
"The hardest part about my job would be trying to please everyone. Once cannabis became recreational, San Jose Harborside got rid of some programs that customers would rely on. As times and regulations are changing, it makes it difficult for some customers to understand how things work when they are so used to being able to get their discount cannabis. Having to be the person to explain to them why they can no longer receive certain products at a great discount is such a bummer."
What's the best part?
"The best part about my job is knowing that we are servicing a community that is also my home. Knowing that we are an honest, hardworking business doing our best to give our community what they need is something that I take great pride in. I also think one of the best things about being a budtender is building relationships with customers. Harborside San Jose is like a family and to me, family is everything. What's better than working with reliable, confident individuals that you consider like family and serving great people? It makes work a great place to be!"
What is it like being a woman in the cannabis space?
"Working in the cannabis industry, as a woman and also being lesbian, is great. I truly do not have any complaints about being a woman in the cannabis world. This is one job where I have not felt discriminated against. I have yet to have any encounters where a customer said anything about me being a woman and not being able to understand something."
Do you have any great customer stories? If so, can you share?
"I have built a relationship with an older gentleman who would come in and give me little smoking gifts that he would make just to make sure I had all that I needed to have a successful smoke session – his words, not mine. One time he made me a care package full of essential tools that would help my day to day smoke sessions and I thought that was super sweet of him to do. To this day he keeps me updated with his health status and all; he definitely became someone I would look forward to seeing whenever he would come in. And that within itself is one of the biggest reasons why I love being in this industry."
Stacia Woodleaf, PharmaD, Cannabis Pharmacist at Curaleaf in New York
What is the day to day of a budtender like? "I am not your "typical" budtender in that I am a licensed pharmacist. There are five states that currently require pharmacists to lead medical dispensaries and we call ourselves cannabis pharmacists. I spend the majority of my time in the dispensary with patients — providing consultations, product recommendations, and answering their many questions as to how medical cannabis works and how they can best utilize it for their needs. It makes patients comfortable to know they are speaking with someone with an advanced clinical degree who can evaluate their complex disease states and medication lists. When I am not in patient consultations, I am usually on the phone with practitioners, counting inventory, or helping at the registers or on the phones to make sure our patients are getting the best possible care and service. I also spend time training our dispensary associates to make sure they have the most up-to-date clinical information regarding medical cannabis and ensure they have the resources they need to help our patients."
How did you get into budtending/the cannabis space? "I have always been interested in the use of cannabis as medicine. I remember in pharmacy school, one of the first electives I signed up for was a Chemical Dependency course that discussed the risks and benefits of illicit substances, and it opened my eyes to the potential of cannabis as medicine. A former colleague of mine was working for Curaleaf in New York and he reached out to me about an opening for a pharmacist he thought I would be great for. This created a really unique opportunity for me to use my clinical expertise to be involved in the cannabis industry in a meaningful way and to help grow and develop the program in New York. I am forever thankful to him for opening that door for me."
What is the strangest/most unexpected part of your job? "The most unexpected part of the job for me is the way our patients create such a sense of community when they are in the dispensaries. We have a large patient population over the age of 50, and many of them have no experience with cannabis at all. I am amazed at how many times I will see a younger, more cannabis-experienced patient sitting on a bench, chatting away with an older patient, helping to explain the different products and how they work, telling them what to avoid and what they might like to try. I have seen patients who were incredibly nervous and even embarrassed to be in the dispensary welcomed by regular patients who recognize their trepidation and want to make them feel welcome. It's truly such an unexpected bonus to see these relationships build every day, and I am proud of the Curaleaf community we are creating."
What's the hardest part about your job?
"The stigma surrounding medical cannabis, and cannabis in general, is still incredibly challenging to navigate. As a healthcare professional, I often get judgment and negativity from both my peers in the medical community as well as in my personal life when discussing what I do for a living. I am proud of what I am doing every day to help people, but it can definitely be very hard to accept that the pervasive ignorance surrounding cannabis causes people to judge me unfairly at times."
What's the best part? "First and foremost, I love helping people feel better, but the next-best part for me is when I can have a conversation with a doctor or other healthcare professional and open their eyes to the role medical cannabis can play for their patients. It is an amazing feeling to use my education to change minds, and know that getting one practitioner to open their minds has the potential to positively impact hundreds of patients."
What is it like being a woman in the cannabis space? "I love seeing how many women are dominating in the cannabis space, and I am proud to be one of them! Pharmacy has long been a woman-dominated field and I would love to see that trend in the cannabis space as well, especially as more states pass legislation and more companies hire their leadership. I also have a background in Women's Health/Fertility, so I have a personal passion for the way women can utilize cannabis to help with symptoms that are often overlooked or under-treated in traditional medicine. "
Do you have any great customer stories? "I will never forget my first week training in the dispensaries when a patient approached, walking slowly using a cane. When she entered the location, she started smiling ear to ear and the dispensary staff erupted into applause. I was amazed to find out that this patient had been in a wheelchair on her first visit...The staff felt personally invested in her success, and it was incredibly heartwarming to be present for such a powerful moment."
Sabrina Tafoya, Store Manager at Seed & Smith in Denver, CO
What is the day to day of a budtender like?
The day-to-day as a store manager differs every day. The focus is to make sure we educate and provide excellent customer service to our patients. My role is to make sure the dispensary is running well, and we are getting customers what they need, along with typical day-to-day duties, from making sure employees are taken care of to ensuring the money count is correct. I also am the purchasing manager for third-party products to make sure we carry the best products for customers. I also oversee the staff to ensure we follow rules and regulations throughout the day.
What is your salary (or the average salary/hourly wage at your shop)?
I am an hourly employee making $18.38 an hour. Seed & Smith is all about helping employees grow and learn more within the company.
How did you get into budtending/the cannabis space?
"I have always loved marijuana and the potential it holds for helping people in a lot of different ways. I am passionate about this industry because of the way cannabis has helped me as medicine, and I believe it can help a lot of people."
What is the strangest/most unexpected part of your job?
"The strangest, most unexpected part of my job would have to be how far the marijuana movement has progressed. Now that it is legal in most states, to think that some people can go to jail for possessing something I work with every day is very odd. Especially coming from Colorado, we’re used to the new normal."
What's the hardest part about your job?
"The hardest part of my job would have to be dealing with employees! They all differ which can be very difficult some days. Managing a team always comes with its own set of challenges."
What's the best part?
"The best part of my job would definitely have to be the perks — when you can suggest something that worked for you to a customer and help them is when I know I do my job properly."
What is it like being a woman in the cannabis space?
Being a woman in the cannabis space differs at every company you join. My experience has not always been the best — a lot of male owners can be sexist. I think there is so much potential for women in this industry, from technology to education. Working for Seed & Smith has changed my outlook on being a woman in the industry, especially as a store manager. They have supported employees and provide the opportunity to grow based on hard work and knowledge, not on gender.
Casey Gilbert, Member Consultant at SPARC in San Francisco, CA
What is the day to day of a budtender like?
"It can truly run the gamut! From consulting with customers about cannabis products to learning about new strains, maintaining a clean and orderly environment to dispense the cannabis, as well as developing one’s overall knowledge regarding the plant, the job offers a ton of variety. In my opinion, the budtender or member consultant acts as a liaison between the plant and its healing potential. We are working with people with a wide range of knowledge when it comes to cannabis."
How did you get into budtending/the cannabis space?
"I entered the industry as a member consultant over six years ago after graduating from UCSB with a degree in Psychology/Feminist Studies. At the time SPARC was operating as a non-profit. This was a perfect fit for me. Over the years as I transitioned from budtending into management. I was able to become involved in many additional aspects of such a unique industry that I know I will be a part of for the rest of my life!"
What is the strangest/most unexpected part of your job?
"I think the most unexpected part of the job is simply how challenging it can be at times, which might come as a surprise to people who might think it is an easy job. I believe most people’s ideas about working in a cannabis dispensary would be quickly challenged if they knew the amount of hard work, knowledge, and adaptability it requires for someone to thrive. Since working in cannabis, one of my goals has been to push back on society’s stereotype of what it means to be a cannabis professional or enthusiast and I think as the industry matures the professionals working in it will be more legitimized as exactly what we are, professionals."
What's the hardest part about your job?
"Without a doubt, the hardest part of my job is having to destroy usable cannabis due to new regulations. According to California state law, any returns or smell jars, for example, must be destroyed. Although I know these rules were put in place for consumer safety and are important, there is just something about having to destroy usable cannabis that is simply heartbreaking."
What's the best part?
"I would have to say that the sense of fulfillment that I get from helping others."
What is it like being a minority in the cannabis space?
"Honestly, it has been great! Being that SPARC is gay-owned, the company culture has always been extremely accepting and supportive. I think that being a gay man in the cannabis industry can be at times challenging since I believe overall cannabis culture can sometimes be seen as one that is not entirely inclusive. After working in the industry for so many years I have found that there are not only a ton of hardworking passionate LGBTQ cannabis professionals but people from every single background that are drawn to the industry simply because of their love for the plant. That common love of cannabis has made the industry one that I find is much more accepting than one would believe looking at overall cannabis culture as a whole."
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THE BACHELOR – “The Bachelor: Season Finale Part 1” – Peter’s romantic journey is coming to an unbelievable conclusion. After the shocking ending to the fantasy suite dates, Peter, Hannah and Madison travel to Alice Springs, Australia, on night one of a two-night, live special, season finale event on “The Bachelor,” MONDAY, MARCH 9 (8:00-10:00 p.m. EDT), on ABC. (ABC/John Fleenor) HANNAH ANN, PETER WEBER
Spoiler alert: this drinking game mentions spoilers for Season 24 of The Bachelor.
Another season ofThe Bacheloris coming to a close. This season has mostly focused on Mykenna’s tongue gymnastics and Champagne-gate, so needless to say, it’s been relatively vanilla. We waited all season long to find out why Peter’s mom was crying (spoiler: it’s because she’s a ham and we stan) and still we ended last night’s episode without answers. According to Chris Harrison, even Peter doesn’t even know how this one is going to end. While that’s about as shocking as Madison abstaining from alcohol (among other things, wink wink), we are obviously still tuning in tonight to find out what exactly happens to our windmill-loving pilot boy.
To make the finale a little more exciting, we put together this drinking game, so pour your Champagne and get ready for “the most dramatic finale ever.” (Chris Harrison’s words, not mine.) Also, please do not take this game too seriously and drink responsibly.
The Bachelor Finale Drinking Game Rules
At the beginning of the game, guess who Peter is going to end up with, and take a shot if you’re wrong.
Drink every time anyone says anything about “the journey.”
Drink every time there’s a kangaroo on screen.
Drink every time they refer to sex as “being intimate.”
Drink every time Peter “promises” or “guarantees” something is true.
Drink every time Peter loves it when a relationship is challenging.
Drink every time that Peter says he “totally gets” something.
Drink every time anyone says anything about being “open and honest.”
Waterfall every time Barbara cries (sorry).
Take a shot when Chris Harrison finally tells Peter what he “just found out.”
Take a shot if they show a promo for Listen To Your Heart and someone sings “Shallow.”
Finish your drink if someone gets engaged at After The Final Rose.
Finish your drink then pour another drink and finish that one if Peter ends up single (and then immediately hop on Twitter so we can get him on the next season of Bachelor in Paradise).
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When choosing an airline, most people look at price, simplicity, and comfort, probably in that order. But today, people are choosing their airlines based on what is arguably the most important aspect of a flight — the complimentary snack options. In what may be the dawn of a new era, United Airlines announced today that it will be switching one of its complimentary snack options from Biscoff Cookies to Oreo Thins. The switch won’t happen immediately, but Oreo Thins will be entering the United recirculated air space soon. While you will still have other snack options (I personally love a pretzel), the Oreo Thin will now be United’s cookie of choice.
Now, I stan an Oreo and don’t love a Biscoff (they’re cardboard with cinnamon SORRY), but my coworkers (who are very angry with my Oreo Thin love) and the greater internet do not appear to agree. In fact, one Twitter user went as far as to say, “Legroom is a convenience, but Biscoffs are a necessity. This is unacceptable.”
United Airlines politely responded to one Twitter user: “We periodically make updates to our snack offerings to provide our customers with new and different options. We’re going to miss the Biscoff cookies too, but we’re excited to bring Oreos on board.” We have reached out to United Airlines for a comment, and will update this story if we hear back.
Some individuals are even promising to switch their loyalty.
So @United is getting rid of their vegan option, Biscoff cookies, for disgusting Oreos. Really?! Guess everyone gets to walk off the plane with black stuck in between their teeth and vegans get no option. @Delta will be getting all my freq flyer miles! #Vegan
Below, the Official Condolence Tweet — don’t worry y’all, they’ll miss them too!
Hi, there. We periodically make updates to our snack offerings to provide our customers with new and different options. We’re going to miss the Biscoff cookies too, but we’re excited to bring Oreos on board. ^DD
Before we jump into drinking, let’s get to the bottom of what it actually means for Mercury to be in retrograde. We spoke with cosmic consultants and authors of TheGood Reverend’s Guide to Infused Spirits, Sonia Kurtz and Reverend Michael Alan about what Mercury retrograde is and how it can affect our lives, astrologically speaking.
The reason that Mercury retrograde exists is that “Mercury is the closest planet to the sun and has an 88-day orbit, whereas Earth’s is a 365-day cycle,” explains Kurtz, “This speed discrepancy means that Mercury ‘laps’ the earth four times in the course of one Earth year. When Mercury is in retrograde, it appears to be moving backward when viewed from Earth. It is, however, an illusion.”
Astrologically speaking, this means that aspects of life controlled by Mercury (communication, finance, commerce, and travel), can get turned around. This can mean everything from salary negotiations gone awry to confusing people sliding into your DMs. Alan and Kurtz suggest, that “in general, Mercury retrograde is a great time to slow it down, be patient, and double-check your work.” Ahead, the tinctures, elixirs, and cocktails you definitely need to try during this time of patience and precision.
The Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius
According to Alan and Kurtz, fire signs “tend to be extra fiery, impatient, and prone to flare-ups during a retrograde.” They recommend drinks with spicy herbs, such as cinnamon, rosemary, and clove as these plants contain a lot of potent energy that can be transferred to you. For fire signs in retrograde, they suggest drinks featuring rosemary tincture, cinnamon liqueur, and clove tincture. Personally, I’d throw a few dashes of rosemary tincture in champagne or mix cinnamon liqueur into a piping hot cup of coffee.
The Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn
Earth signs in retrograde “tend to feel vulnerable, distrustful, anxious during a retrograde,” says Alan and Kurtz, “but luckily they have the most options when creating a solution.” Because all herbs grow in the ground, they could technically all be considered Earth sign herbs, but for retrograde, Alan and Kurtz recommend sticking to ground herbs, such as ginger, sage, and other woodsy herbs and roots. To keep you stabilized this retrograde, they suggest cocktails featuring vermouth (martini season!), ginger bitters, and their own creation — The Virgin — which contains St. Germain, Grand Marnier, sage tincture, a splash of champagne, and an edible flower garnish.
The Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius
Alan and Kurtz suggest air signs “back up software, double-check contractual details, and create back up plans in general” this retrograde. For drinks, they recommend herbs that correspond to Jupiter and Mercury as they will help with clearing your mind and spirit. They suggest cocktails containing lavender tincture and peppermint liqueur, both of which would be excellent additions to a cup of green tea or a vodka soda, depending on your mood.
The Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces
“Water rules the emotional body,” says Alan and Kurtz, so Mercury in retrograde can easily lead to an emotional overload (aka there might be a lot of tears). To get you through, they suggest drinks featuring “divine, nurturing, and feminine ingredients,” such as rose tincture and chamomile liqueur. They also recommend their cocktail — The Simplest Solution — which mixes equal parts liquor of your choice, simple syrup, and a chopped fruit of your choice. Mix with ice, shake well, and enjoy!
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In case you missed it, our boy Pilot Pete made it to the hometowns episode of The Bachelorin one (very boring) piece. His final destination in his whirlwind trip around the south (and the midwest, we see you, Iowa) was to Virginia Beach, VA to meet Victoria F.’s family. While the whole episode was unnecessarily dramatic, the most dramatic part of the episode was not Victoria’s breakdown or Peter running into his ex, it was his Virginia Beach hotel room. With its tan on tan striped wallpaper, college dorm room-esque couch, and knock off Emeco chairs, let’s just say, the viewers were horrified.
This is the shittiest hotel room Peter’s been in so far. Even Cleveland had better hotels. #TheBachelor
The internet’s pure horror meant one thing, I had to find this hotel room. Now, I pride myself in my sleuthing abilities, but somebody call Jake Peralta, this find might just make me Detective Of The Year*. After an extensive amount of scouring the Virginia Beach hotel scene and matching carpets, couches, and wall art — I found what looks to be the hotel (and the specific room, the Corner King Oceanfront Suite). It’s the Courtyard Marriot Virginia Beach Oceanfront and it costs $124-$159 a night. Maybe it’s not typical The Bachelor standards, but I would decidedly stay there if I did not have to spend any time in my hotel room except to sleep.
That being said, The Bachelor franchise is notorious for making its contestants walk into hotel rooms and gasp. They jump on beds, they eat chocolate-covered strawberries, they look out the window and scream (which was truly uncalled for in Cleveland). Plus, after spending weeks traveling across South America and staying in the fanciest resorts, this feels like a downgrade. If anything, Peter’s Courtyard by Marriot digs proves what we’ve always known, this season is just as boring as tan-on-tan striped wallpaper and faded patterned carpet.
*I would like to give a special shout out to Twitter user @bepryor for helping this sleuth out.
i’m not saying i looked at photos of hotel rooms in virginia beach, but i’m not saying I didn’t either. If I did, though, I may have found a blue couch. https://t.co/dHXvuhSkaJ
Money Diaries as we know it has existed for years, but it has been a solid minute since we pulled back the curtain and let you into our Money Diaries bubble. So we present our first Ask Me Anything — you asked the questions and we’re here to answer them. First off, let me introduce myself — I’m Hannah — I’m a lifestyle writer and the keeper of all things Money Diaries. While I do have a few lovely colleagues who help out with edits, the majority of Money Diaries is curated and produced by me. Yep! That’s me who sometimes misses a comma or chooses colloquialisms over grammar. And when you @ “R29 editors,” yeah, that’s me too. Oh, and yes, I read the comments.
At the end of last year, we asked Money Diary readers to ask us questions, and y’all certainly delivered. Before we dive into the AMA, here’s a little bit about me, the current editor/producer/curator of Money Diaries: I was instantly drawn to Money Diaries, which has existed since 2016, about three and a half years before I became keeper of the keys. I was inspired by the candid financial honesty, and if we’re being real, they definitely influenced my personal money habits for the better. I also truly love working with my team and the MD community, so owning this franchise has felt like an honor. When I’m not working on Money Diaries or hanging out in the comments, I’m writing for the site (you can read my work here, here, and here) and occasionally swinging from a trapeze (you can watch that here). And now, here I am! Ready to answer your Q’s with the best A’s I can muster. (Please be gentle in the comments!)
Are all Money Diarists real people? Do you check?
Yes! I check the identities of our diarists to make sure they are who they say they are.
Why are there occasional grammar mistakes?
As a rule, we choose colloquially correct over grammatically correct because we prioritize keeping the diarist’s voice as close to their actual voice as possible. Occasionally, we also miss commas and such because we’re human.
What criteria do you apply to choose which Money Diaries get published?
It depends. On average, we get between 10-20 submissions a day, so I have quite a few diaries to choose from, which is why I can’t post them all. First, I choose based on varying location, salary, and job title — with a priority placed on including diarists from marginalized communities. Then I look at length — I prefer diaries that are between 3,000-5,000 words, though I’ll edit down a long one if it’s really great. Finally, I look for voice and story and any interesting or unique purchases/life situations.
How does one become an MD editor?
I applied! I had been freelancing writing for four years and was a fan of Money Diaries. It was a relatively standard hiring process and I was brought on specifically for Money Diaries. I sit under the Lifestyle team, which encompasses Food, Home, Travel, Weddings, Work & Money, and Tech. The rest of the Money Diaries team also work across these verticals and wear multiple hats.
How many people edit Money Diaries? Who gets final approval before something is posted? Is someone monitoring the comments?
Two people look at each diary before it goes out, myself and one of the editors on our team. And yes, I monitor the comments for doxxing and the like, and we have a moderating service called Spot.im that makes sure all comments are within our editorial policy.
How much of the actual submitted content do you rewrite/edit? So many money diaries read in the exact same voice. Is this intentional, to make them feel cohesive?
We rewrite the diaries as little as possible, but most of them need a decent amount of revision to flow in the way we want them to. We specifically don’t edit out voice to try to keep each diary as unique as possible, but I will say, many diarists seem to fall into similar styles, which I’m guessing comes from most diarists being avid readers.
Why are you asking gender identity?
Not all of our diarists identify as women and I want to make sure I get pronouns correct. I also include trans voices whenever possible.
Do you ask diarists follow up questions (for instance if the paycheck numbers don’t add up or if someone mentions a debt without any explanation)?
I do! I often ask for clarification, especially when diarists don’t include specific paycheck or salary information. I also double-check any numbers that don’t make sense since everybody makes typos sometimes!
I am part of the “sandwich generation” — caring for kids and elderly parents. Our money issues are different from most millennials, but still interesting, I think. Are there any plans to expand Money Diaries into other age groups?
Please submit a diary! I get asked this question all the time and we always welcome non-millennial diaries. We’re in the process of changing that language to include all generations (18 and older).
I wonder what time allocation looks like by employees that work on MDs? Are they dedicated to MDs or a lot of different areas? If the latter, explain more.
Some weeks, Money Diaries is about 70% of my job and other weeks it’s 100% of my job. When I’m not producing Money Diaries (which is about half editing, half logistics), I write for the Lifestyle sections I listed above.
How has the readership of Money Diaries been recently? Lately, a lot of people have complained about judgmental commenters and I was wondering if that’s affected readership in any way?
Honestly, it’s been just as great as ever, if not better. For every judgmental comment we get, we get five friendly, wonderful comments and they really add up. I’ve also noticed since I started commenting more frequently, there has been more discussion and a little less judgment (or the judgment is directed at me, which I prefer to diarists taking the brunt of the judgment).
Is there one Money Diary that comes to mind that sparked a lot of controversy/negative feedback that the editors never anticipated readers having such a strong reaction to (besides the infamous diary from the NYC intern)?
At this point, I have a pretty good handle on how commenters are going to react. I think more than anything, I’m sometimes surprised by how kind and generous our commenters are, thinking specifically of the recent Texas diary about a woman on disability. The comments can get negative, but it’s also really wonderful to see y’all lifting each other up — which happens more often than not.
Has there been any consideration to updating the submission page?
Yes! This is a 2020 goal and we are working on it. Changing the backend is not a super simple process, but we are hopeful that it will happen this year.
Have more questions? Pop them in the comments and I’ll answer whatever I can.
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