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A supremely contagious strain of COVID-19 was discovered in New York State, Governor Andrew Cuomo announced January 4. The strain, known as the SARS-CoV-2 lineage B.1.1.7, originated in the United Kingdom between late summer and early fall of last year. It was first reported in the U.S. in Colorado and, as of Monday, it has been identified in at least four U.S. states, with the latest case occurring in Saratoga Springs, NY.  

This new variant is reportedly 70% more contagious than others. Reassuringly, the vaccine will likely protect against B.1.1.7, and so far, it doesn’t appear to be causing more severe symptoms than the previous strain, explains Leonard R. Krilov, MD, the chief of pediatric infectious disease at NYU Langone Hospital, Long Island. As we know, however, the virus hits some harder than others.

All viruses mutate, and most COVID-19 mutations don’t make a big difference in how the virus presents or behaves — but some, like this one, do. It’s kind of like a typo, says Jessica Malaty Rivera, MS, infectious disease epidemiologist and science communication lead at The COVID Tracking Project. Most are harmless enough (like accidentally typing “happend” for “happened”), but some can totally change the meaning of a sentence (“pubic” for “public”).

NEW: The Wadsworth Lab has confirmed New York State’s first case of the U.K. variant (B.1.1.7) of the virus that causes COVID.

An individual from Saratoga County, New York, tested positive for the strain. The individual had no known travel history.

— Andrew Cuomo (@NYGovCuomo) January 4, 2021

The mutation that created B.1.1.7 affected the coronavirus’s spike protein, which is located on the outer surface of the virus and which functions like a key: It lets the virus attach to and get into our cells where the virus replicates, making us sick. Spike proteins are actually what the Pfizer and Moderna mRNA vaccines help the body target — they’re that important, says Bruce Farber, MD, chief of infectious diseases at North Shore University Hospital and Long Island Jewish Medical Center and chief of epidemiology at Northwell Health. The PCR test works by detected coronavirus spike proteins, he adds.

The fact that B.1.1.7 is more contagious indicates that this variant, with its mutated spike proteins, may be better at attaching itself to our nasal and pharyngeal tissue and cells, says Dr. Farber.

Although the spike protein has mutated enough to make this strain especially contagious, experts believe that it hasn’t been altered enough to render the current vaccines, treatments, and tests useless. The COVID-19 tests, for example, will still be able to identify the variant. “It’s like when someone gets a haircut — you still can recognize them, but they look a little different,” says Malaty Rivera.

The novel coronavirus has mutated before, and it will almost certainly mutate again. Dr. Farber notes that the virus mutated early on the pandemic, from a strain called D614 to a variant called D614G. He says D614G has replaced D614 all over the world. 

Currently, experts are also looking at another variant of the virus that’s present in South Africa, 501.V2. This mutation (also located in the spike protein) may be more significant than the UK’s B.1.1.7 and therefore is the most worrying to experts. “This strain has fewer mutations than B.1.1.7 — three compared to 17,” says Nate Favini, MD, the medical lead of Forward, a preventive primary care practice. “Scientists believe that the vaccine will probably still be protective against B.1.1.7, but are less certain about 501.V2 because there are meaningful changes to the shape of the spike protein in this variant.”

As for the UK variant, “we know that the virus mutates one to two times a month, so it’s not a surprise,” Andrew Badley, MD, the head of Mayo Clinic’s COVID Task Force, told Refinery29 in an official statement on behalf of Mayo Clinic. “But Mayo is somewhat concerned as there are upwards of 20 potential and separate mutations involved here. Each mutation carries the possibility of impacting the six developmental phases in the virus lifecycle. The ones we know about can increase the ease of virus entry into cells and may help evade antibodies.” 

Because the B.1.17 variant is so infectious, Dr. Farber predicts it will quickly spread in the U.S. “I think it’s going to most likely spread over the entire country and world over the next several months,” he says. In fact, the variant is likely already much more prevalent than currently reported, says Paul Pottinger, MD, a professor specializing in infectious disease at the University of Washington School of Medicine. That’s largely because current COVID-19 tests can’t tell you your specific strain, and for now, the RNA sequencing required to identify variants is done somewhat rarely by specialized labs. Malaty Rivera says the U.S. is behind countries such as the UK when it comes to coronavirus genomic sequencing, largely because the country is overwhelmed with cases.

“We should assume that this is late news,” Dr. Pottinger says. “People shouldn’t just assume that only one state or the other has the mutation, people should assume and operate as though it’s here today.”

You don’t necessarily need to change your behavior, but it’s essential to recommit to the same measures that public health agencies have been recommending since last year: Avoid public spaces unless absolutely necessary, socially distance when you do have to be out, wear a face mask, self-quarantine if you feel at all unwell. “This is not a good time to be expanding your pod,” notes Malaty Rivera.

The ray of light at the end of the tunnel is the vaccine, which has been shown to be safe and effective and which most everyone should be able to receive by the end of the year. Even if you’ve already had COVID-19, it’s a good idea to get immunized because will give you a stronger and longer immunity to COVID-19, Dr. Pottinger says. In the meantime, though, hunker down and mask up.

“Should people panic about the mutation? The truth is, the time for panic has come and gone a long time ago,” Dr. Pottinger says. “We need to handle this the same way we should have always handled this disease. The [mutation itself] is not an emergency, but a reminder that what we do really matters. Our own personal decisions matter for everybody else.”

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After learning she was pregnant in April, Danielle Cadet stared down at the home test, processing what she saw. Her husband was in the bathroom about to take a shower, and Cadet debated whether she should wait until he was done to tell him. But she couldn’t. She knocked, asked him to come out, and shared the news. They were shocked and blissful.

The next day, though, Cadet found out her 82-year-old grandmother, Brigitte Synsmir, had COVID-19. Soon, Synsmir was admitted to the hospital. 

“I knew she wasn’t in the best health, and I demanded to speak to her before the ambulance got there,” Cadet says. “I told her I was pregnant, and she was trying to make sure she heard me correctly. Her home health care worker was telling me what her face looked like as she got in the ambulance. She was happy.” Synsmir passed away a week after Cadet’s positive pregnancy test, on April 30. 

Nearly a month later, on May 25, George Floyd was killed in Minnesota. Cadet, a Black woman who’s spent her career in media serving Black audiences (including, until October, at Refinery29) was heartbroken. Like much of the country, she’s spent the majority of this year grieving. 

“I struggled with celebrating my pregnancy at first because it felt associated with so much sadness,” Cadet says. “I was trying to find room for excitement for this new chapter in my life, but there was some guilt associated with that because there was so much struggle going on, particularly for my community, between COVID and police violence and brutality. I was simultaneously thinking about bringing a Black child into the world… It was an intense and complex emotional experience,” she says. “I think it just feels like the year where bad things are supposed to happen, and if you’re experiencing any goodness, it seems wrong.” 

The sensation Cadet is describing is known as happiness guilt, and although the phenomenon existed before the pandemic, it may be more widespread right now. “As a psychologist, a quarter to a third of my clients have mentioned feeling guilty for feeling good at times during the pandemic because there is so much pain and suffering around them,” says Ryan Howes, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author in Pasadena, CA. He says some of his clients are enjoying having more time to devote to their hobbies or to spend with their family, but they share these joyful moments with him “in a hushed tone that says, ‘I would only tell this to my therapist.’”

Happiness guilt can occur if, like Cadet, you’ve gone through both positive and negative experiences, and are struggling to balance your joy with your grief. But even if nothing great has happened to you, you may feel guilty if nothing really bad has occurred in your life this year either. You’re grateful, but also wonder, “Why me?” It’s not dissimilar from survivor’s guilt. “It’s normal to ask yourself why something good happened to you when something bad happened to someone else, or to ask why something bad happened to you when good things happened to a friend,” says Heather Goff, MD, a psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente in Hawaii. “As humans, we often compare ourselves to each other and try to make sense of what is happening to us and around us. The reality is that everyone’s situation is unique, and there aren’t always answers or ‘fairness.’” Emotions are complex, too; people rarely feel purely happy, sad, or scared. It’s natural to have mixed, even conflicting emotions — especially during such a turbulent time.

If you’ve felt happiness guilt, your knee-jerk reaction may have been to try to hide or quash your joy. You may even feel guilty for worrying about something like happiness guilt, brushing it off as a privileged non-problem. And of course, feeling this way right now is a luxury that many of us don’t have. This year, people have grappled with the threat of serious illness, racial violence, economic uncertainty, the loss of safe housing, and more.

But trying to ignore the bright spots in your life won’t benefit anyone who’s going through a hard time right now. “Happiness is not a zero sum game,” says June Tangney, PhD, a professor of psychology at George Mason University, who studies guilt. “The idea that your happiness takes away from others is false.” In fact, rejecting how you feel — either the happiness or the guilt — can be harmful, says Natasha Bailen, MA, a graduate student at Washington University in St. Louis. She led a study about meta-emotions, which are emotions we feel in response to other emotions, such as happiness guilt. “There’s nothing helpful about beating yourself up and telling yourself, ‘I shouldn’t be feeling this way, there’s something wrong with me, and I’m a bad person,’” Bailen says. “Talking to yourself like that and believing those things can lead to really negative feelings towards yourself, and is related to symptoms of depression.”

Still, it can be hard to stop feeling bad for feeling good. And let’s face it, at some point in the past year, you’ve probably scrolled past a self-congratulatory social media post that seemed tone deaf and dreaded the thought of making the same mistake. So we asked Dr. Goff, Dr. Howes, and other experts to explain how we can let go of the guilt, enjoy our 2020 wins, and use the positive energy in our lives to lift up the people who need it most.

Remember: Happiness has purpose

Sarah McBride had a good year, all things considered. In November, she was elected to the State Senate in Delaware, making her the nation’s highest-ranking trans official. The win was both a personal and a collective triumph, but when I asked McBride whether she ever felt guilty for being happy about the outcome when the world was in the midst of such turmoil, she said no. Although she wasn’t exactly out “celebrating” her victory, she believes that joy is necessary, especially in difficult times. In 2014, she told me, she lost her husband to cancer. The loss changed her perspective on happiness forever. “You see in those experiences just how necessary it is to find those moments of joy and laughter,” she says. “Joy is the only way to honor the lives that we’ve lost.”

Finding a sense of purpose in your happiness can help you avoid guilt, confirms Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project. You might remind yourself that your present moments of joy will help sustain you during the tough times. Or like McBride, you can think of your good fortune as a symbol of hope or strength — something that honors the difficulties you and the people you love may be going through too.

Make use of your “happy energy”

There’s a story that’s famous on Reddit that ends with the quote: “Today, you… tomorrow me.” The whole thread is worth a read (grab a tissue first), but the idea behind it is that everyone falls on hard times. So when things are going our way, why not spend a few extra minutes or dollars lifting up the less-fortunate people who cross our paths? When we’re in a slump, maybe we’ll be lucky enough to meet someone who does the same thing for us. And in the meantime, channeling your positive energy into acts of service may help ease happiness guilt, because you know you’re putting value into the world at a time when so many people are going through the hardest experiences of their lives.

“When we’re happier ourselves, we’re more able to turn outward and to think of other people,” Rubin says. “Ask yourself, ‘How can I turn my energy and cheer into something that can benefit others?’ Give to a food bank, take an arduous task off the shoulders of someone at work who has kids running around, run errands for your neighbor who’s at higher risk of getting severe COVID.”

McBride, for instance, plans to use her platform to fight for equality, health care, and better paid leave laws in her state. People tend to think of negative emotions as being the greatest motivators for positive change, but happy emotions can be too.

Set aside time to celebrate solo

Happiness guilt can make us want to ignore or deemphasize our positive experiences, but savoring these events is an essential part of feeling happy, research in the Journal of Positive Psychology shows. If we never allow ourselves to feel good, we won’t be able to turn our present happiness into the fuel that gets us through future lows, points out Dr. Howes.

So try hosting a private mini-celebration: Block off 30 minutes or more on your calendar, and dedicate that time to feeling happy and grateful about whatever’s going your way, no guilt allowed. If this feels strange, Dr. Goff suggests doing something you love to celebrate, such as having a celebratory dance party, popping a bottle of Champagne, or pampering yourself with a new face mask. “Giving yourself that validation, that’s really important,” she says.

Bring in close friends

For some, sharing good news with loved ones can be a key part of the experience of being happy, says Dr. Howes. But it’s normal to feel a little awkward about, for example, telling a close friend who recently lost her job that you just got a new one.

In these instances, Dr. Goff suggests saying, “Hey, I know you’re having a rough month. Would it be helpful if I share some good news with you?” Make it clear that they can say no. And if they say yes, but have a lukewarm reaction to the news, give them a little space and compassion. “Remember their response is more about them than you,” Dr. Goff says. 

Focus on spreading the love

Sharing good news with close friends is one thing, but breaking it to your giant group chat, or your social media followers, can feel different. The broader the audience and less personal the platform, the more likely you are to potentially upset someone. That doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t post — we all deserve to talk ourselves up. But if you’re wondering if a certain share is appropriate, err on the side of caution, and consider two things. First, what else is going on in the world? You may want to hold off on personal posts the day news about the widespread devastation caused by a natural disaster breaks, for instance. Second, what are your motivations for posting? Ideally, you’ll share your news with the intention of spreading your joy. “Happiness is contagious” is such a cliché, but it’s actually true, says Dr. Tangney. Case in point: Two of Twitter’s ten most-liked Tweets of 2020 in the U.S. were people sharing that they were cancer-free. We want to feel good for other people — sometimes, we need to. 

Paola Agnelli knows firsthand how sharing good cheer can make a positive impact. In mid-March, her sister was playing the violin on her balcony in Verona, Italy, entertaining their stir-crazy neighbors during the country’s first COVID-19 lockdown. Michele D’Alpaos walked out on his terrace to listen, and soon he and Agnelli locked eyes. “I thought he was so cute,” Agnelli, a 40-year-old lawyer, tells Refinery29. D’Alpaos’s sister went to the same gym as Agnelli; she gave him Agnelli’s name, and he found her on social media. They started messaging on Instagram, then moved to phone calls.

They finally met in person in the gardens behind her apartment complex on May 4. “We had a little kiss, even though we were wearing masks and weren’t meant to be doing that,” she says. They’ve been in a committed relationship ever since. 

If it sounds familiar, there’s a reason. Local media caught wind of the burgeoning romance, and the story was widely shared across the globe, in outlets from The Daily Mail to The Washington Post. The couple was hailed as the Romeo and Juliet of the COVID-19 era. Since the stories have come out, Agnelli’s received DMs and gifts from people who are genuinely happy for her. “One woman messaged me, ‘This makes me feel that I can find love, too,’” Agnelli says. “So, I don’t feel guilty… Sharing my love story has given people hope.”

Cadet, too, felt sense of solace when she shared her pregnancy news with her grandmother over the phone, just before Synsmir was admitted to the hospital. “My grandmother and I were incredibly close — my family always jokes that we’re kindred spirits,” says Cadet, who delivered her daughter, Lenox, on Dec. 19.

Being able to get the news off her chest before Synsmir passed made Cadet feel like she was leaving nothing on the table. “I know that there’s nothing more she wanted for me than to be a mom,” Cadet says. “Being able to tell her, I think that was God’s and my grandmother’s way of giving me a bit of closure and peace so that I could embrace the joy of bringing a baby into the world at a complicated time.”

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Time can be so slippery — especially this year. One minute, you’re unpacking your fall sweaters and making a mental note to get the flu shot. And the next, somehow there’s snow on the ground, and you wonder if you’ve totally missed your window.

If that’s you, we have good news: “It’s not too late,” says Dr. Jake Deutsch, MD, chief medical officer of Cure Urgent Care. Although The Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends folks get their influenza vaccines by the end of October, it notes that the shots should be offered throughout the flu season, which can last until April or May. As long as there are still existing strains of the virus (and there are a few, the most common being Influenza A and B), you can get a vaccine. Even if you get it now, it’s not too late.

“It’s only too late when the seasonal supply of flu vaccine is exhausted,” Charles Golden, DO, vice president and executive medical director, CHOC Children’s Primary Care Network, previously told Refinery29. “We typically recommend the flu vaccine for anyone who hasn’t had one in that season, even as late as April or May.”

It’s worth it to protect yourself sooner rather than later, so go ahead and make the appointment — especially since the flu virus tends to be at its peak in January. “I wouldn’t be concerned about waiting too long, especially if you’re around people who are immunocompromised or people who are in health care — those who could be at a higher risk or who could expose you,” Dr. Deutsch says. 

Of course, even if you run out and get it today, you won’t be immediately covered. “It does take two to four weeks to develop antibodies,” Dr. Deutsch says. “You’re getting an inactivated piece of virus — an antigen — and our body responds by making antibodies. But for those to be fully developed, it takes time.” (And, no, that doesn’t mean the vaccine can give you the actual flu, The CDC notes). So continue to wash your hands and take other precautions with this in mind — though hopefully you’re already engaged in preventative measures, such as social distancing and mask-wearing, to also prevent the spread of COVID-19.

The effectiveness of the flu vaccine varies by year, and studies show it generally reduces the risk of illness by 40% to 60%, the CDC notes. So, yes, it’s still possible to get the flu even after receiving the shot. But don’t let that deter you, even if you’re tempted to just wait until next fall. “Vaccination decreases the severity of the illness with certainty,” Dr. Deutsch says. “And reducing the spread of the disease even by 50% or so is enough to change the outcome of a flu season, which is why it’s so important to get vaccinated.” 

On top of causing symptoms like chills, dehydration, fatigue, and fever, the flu can also be deadly. “On a bad year, we could see 30,000 deaths in the United States, so that’s not insignificant,” Dr. Deutsch says. The more severe flu cases there are, the more ICU beds will fill up at a time when hospitals are already overwhelmed by COVID-19 cases. Nearly every hospital in Los Angeles county is past capacity, The New York Times reported on Dec. 26. And over the weekend, the U.S. reached a devastating record: 1 in 1,000 people have died from SARS-CoV-2 since our first reported case in late January of 2020.

Earlier this year, there were reports that this winter could prompt a “twindemic,” or an overlapping surge in both flu and COVID-19 cases. Although COVID-19 cases have certainly spiked in the U.S. over the last month, Dr. Deutsch says it’s still too early to know if we’re approaching a twindemic since flu season won’t be at its peak until January. He adds that increased mask-wearing could also prevent the spread of the flu. Plus, thanks to far-reaching public health campaigns regarding flu shots this summer and fall, an “unprecedented” number of folks have been vaccinated this year, Dr. Deutsch adds. “As of December 4, 2020, 189.4 million doses of flu vaccine have been distributed in the United States. This is the highest number of flu doses distributed in the United States during a single influenza season,” the CDC reported.

So, if you’re one of the folks who forgot or has been putting it off, there’s no time like the present. Of course, because it’s a bit later in the season, you might have to do a little research to find a place offering the shot now. So call ahead. “Pharmacies are one source, but there are other options. Ask urgent care centers, primary health care offices, or [your state’s health department],” Dr. Deutsch says. “Some employers are doing it. Some health systems are doing it for free. Be resourceful if your first option is not available.” One place to start is VaccineFinder.org.

The bottom line, according to Dr. Golden: “Some protection is better than none.”  And, to lean on an old cliché, “better late than never.”

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The following article contains spoilers for season one of Bridgerton.

I made the mistake of watching Bridgerton with my parents. Don’t be like me: The steamy series, which will be available on Netflix on December 25, features a lot of vivid sex scenes that made all three of us deeply uncomfortable. One particular painful moment for me was an episode in which Daphne Bridgerton (played by Phoebe Dynevor) learns to masturbate. And because the show is set in 1813, she didn’t make this discovery courtesy of the internet or a sex ed class. No, Duke Simon Basset (Regé-Jean Page), whom she is pretending to court as part of a plan to find a suitor during the social season, fills her in on the wonders of wanking.

“It was an interesting scene to shoot and an interesting journey to portray — someone completely discovering it for herself and what that means,” Dynevor tells Refinery29. She noted that it was shocking to think about living in a world where you couldn’t just Google “what is masturbation.” One where, if your family kept you in the dark about your body and its treasure trove of pleasures, there were few ways of learning about it. 

“[Daphne’s] someone who’s been so kept in this bubble,” Dynevor says. “I sort of played with the idea that all she’s heard about romance and sex is the vague mentions in novels.” 

A few episodes after Bridgerton finally pulls up her nightgown and does the deed, the Duke asks Bridgerton what she thought about as she masturbated. She replies: “I thought about you when I touched myself — I always think about you.” It’s an incredibly hot exchange, one that I truly hated watching with my mom and dad.

When I described this scene to Laurie Mintz, PhD, a sexuality psychologist, she laughed. It’s a nice thing to say, Dr. Mintz told me, but in her experience, most people don’t think about their parter when they masturbate — and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Self-pleasure (and pleasure in general) is all about mind-body connection, explains Dr. Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters — And How to Get It. “If your head isn’t in the game, you’re not going to have as much enjoyment,” she says. “We know mentality is so essential. Whatever is going on between your ears is equally as important as what’s going on between your legs.” 

About 53% of women who masturbate say they use their imaginations, according to numbers from the the TENGA 2020 Self-Pleasure Report, which polled 15,000 people across five countries. (I’m no historian, but I imagine that number was higher in 1813, when porn wasn’t as accessible.) And about 25% of Americans say they think about their current partner when masturbating. For some people, this can be incredibly sexy. “Someone who masturbates while thinking about a partner they feel connected to can experience a spike of the kinds of body and brain chemistry that happens when they’re with that person, such as adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin, all of which can influence arousal and pleasure while masturbating,” says Dulcinea Pitagora, PhD, a sex therapist known as the Kink Doctor who uses they/them pronouns. It certainly seemed to work for Bridgerton.

But according to the TENGA survey, the significant majority of people don’t fantasize about their boo when they’re touching themselves. The reason for this isn’t that they’re not attracted to their partners. It’s just that, when you’re picturing someone you know well, you may not be able to get past the mundane logistics to really get into the mood. When your mind starts drifting to your go-to fantasy — say, your partner spanking you with a paddle — you might suddenly find yourself thinking, What room would we do it in? The bedroom’s a mess. Or, First, we’d have to make up from that fight we had the other day. Or, I’d ask them to walk the dog first; otherwise he’d be barking. You can see how it might be easier to orgasm while thinking about a random person you barely know.

Of course, it’s possible to “leave out those parts that would blunt desire and focus in and emphasize the parts that heighten desire,” Pitagora points out — and the people who find it hot to think about their partners while masturbating probably do just that.

Ultimately, different fantasies work for different people. “Our fantasies and our sexualities are so unique — like a fingerprint,” says Liz Goldwyn, the founder of The Sex Ed. Don’t beat yourself up if your boo doesn’t often come to mind when you’re spending some QT with your favorite vibrator. It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with your relationship or your sex life. Solo sex is a time to explore yourself, your body, and your own desires, so try to be as non-judgmental and loving about how you prefer to get it on as possible.

“I would encourage people not to self-censor and to freely explore their thoughts, emotions, and feelings of physical pleasure, and follow where that takes them,” Dr. Pitagora says. So, whether that leads you to think of your partner, a stranger, or a perfectly chiseled Duke, let it be. And enjoy.

Ariana Romero contributed to this reporting. 

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I know it’s the holidays, so you’ll have to forgive me for bumming you out with news of a terrible dating trend. It’s called snow-globing, but don’t be fooled by the fact that it’s named after one of the most delightful seasonal decor pieces of all time. If it happens to you, it can be pretty darn heart-shattering. 

Snow-globing is a term coined by Cosmo. It happens around the holidays when people suddenly start feeling enchanted by the season of love. The joy in the air — perhaps the same spirit that prompted the Grinch’s heart to grow three sizes — causes your lover or hookup buddy to act as sweet as a sugar cookie. They might get super serious and say “I love you.” Maybe they’ll plan some incredibly thoughtful dates. They might suggest an overnight in a country Airbnb that gives you The Holiday vibes. There could be chic Christmas presents like AirPods or jewelry or even an invite to their holiday Zoom party with their friends or family. Sounds like a fairytale, right? 

Totally, but there’s a catch. When the excitement of the “most wonderful time of the year” fades, so does their love for you. The divine holiday bubble bursts — shatters, if we want to continue on with the snow globe metaphor — and you’re left wondering, What just happened?

Snow-globing someone sounds shitty and thoughtless. But, to be fair, most people who snow-globe aren’t doing so consciously. Usually, it’s some combination of loneliness, familial pressure, nostalgia, and convenience, says Danielle Forshee, Psy.D, a psychologist and marriage therapist. 

Let’s break that down. Humans are inherently social beings. “Research has shown that when we’re socially isolated and feeling lonely, our brain responds by activating key neurotransmitters responsible for emotional well-being, motivating us to search for and re-engage in social interactions,” Dr. Forshee says. In other words, when we’re feeling lonely, our brains are wired to encourage us to seek out companionship.

Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and host of The Dates & Mates Podcast offers up a slightly different biological explanation. “The seasons change and we begin to ‘hibernate’ for the winter,” Hoffman says. “We tend to want to find someone to nest with as the effort of trudging out into the snow to find someone can seem overwhelming. During COVID, however, it’s even more intense.” In other words, snow-globing can be seen as a ramped-up extension of cuffing season.

The holiday vibes turn those biological instincts up to an 11. “Excitement and nostalgia can cause us to want to have more fun, be more spontaneous, and create more positive fun memories,” Dr. Forshee says. “Because of these positive feelings, some may feel more impulsive and grab onto their flame to take the ride with them.” Add in some family pressure (it’s still “y el novio?” season, after all) and maybe even an honest desire to be in a relationship with someone, and you’ve got the makings off a snow-glober.

That’s all well and good. The problem with snow-globing isn’t the fun, “let’s take a trip together!” stage. It’s the lack of communication to make sure you both are on the same page, and the sudden withdrawal once the holidays are over.

One of the worst things about this trend is that it’s hard to see coming. But one warning sign to watch out for: “If you see a dramatic change in behavior or in communication timing or style, that’s usually the telltale sign that a relationship is shifting,” says Hoffman. If the person you’re dating goes from setting up a movie night every other week to wanting to see you every day, right before Christmas… Be wary.

If you catch a snow-glober early on, you can try to talk about what’s happening. Point out to your partner that it seems like they’re eager to get serious, which is catching you by surprise, and ask them if that’s really their intention. Of course, since snow-globers’ behavior can be unconscious, they may swear up and down that they’re ready to settle down… only to pull back again on Jan. 1. You can try to enjoy the ride without getting too invested and see how things play out, or you can focus on friends and family over the holidays while staying in casual touch with your partner, and reach back out in the new year to see if the potential snow-glober is still feeling the same passion for you.

If you’ve already been snow-globed, all you can do is communicate your feelings about it and try to move on. “You have to remember that you can’t control another person, you can only control how you react to a particular situation,” Hoffman say. “If you get snow-globed, certainly speak up and make your partner aware that you’re feeling something different — but know that ultimately, it’s up to them to show up for you and give you what you need in a relationship.”

Go through your healing process, and from there, don’t “give it any more of your precious time and just move forward,” Dr. Forshee advises. “There’s really no point in looking back.” But if it were me, I would certainly hold onto the AirPods. 

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The holidays won’t be the same this year — that’s a given. But there are a few beloved traditions we can still take part in, like snuggling up in front of the TV to watch our favorite holiday movie... and then immediately retreating to our bedroom to flick it or hook-up because we’re feeling so damn full of holiday cheer.

Let's face it, some holiday movies will set you up for that better than others. For example, Mr. Heat Miser is hot but not shirtless-Jude-Law-saying-”I’m-in-love-with-you”-hot. If you’re horny (or want to be), then this is not the time for The Grinch (though some might argue that The Mean One is totally fuckable).

My point is: Pick your thirst trap holiday movie wisely. To help you sift through the seemingly never-ending catalog of merry motion pictures, here's our unofficial Official Naughty Movie List™. Pop some corn, charge your vibrator, and get ready to press play.

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Back in her Hannah Montana days, Miley Cyrus sang: “Get up, get loud, start pumpin' up the party now.” Because my brain is broken from years of Disney Channel marathons, my mind automatically drifts to this bubblegum pop song whenever someone mentions clit pumps, an inclusive and, in my opinion, underrated sex toy. These suction devices are used for temporary genital growth, and to increase blood flow to the clitoris — a great way to make sex and masturbation feel awesome. As Cyrus sang, "Gotta make this party grow, together we can make it blow, right through the roof."

Clit pumps consist of a cylinder (typically made of plastic) and a pumping mechanism (usually a hand pump). They may come with a few different sized cylinders, so play around to find your best fit, suggests Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland who uses she/they pronouns. "Some people on testosterone will see increased blood flow to that entire area so they may have more engorged mons pubis," they say. "So [cylinders with broader bases] may fit a little bit more comfortably."

The cylinder is meant to cover the clitoris. (This makes it different from a vulva pump, which covers the entire labia.) As you pump, blood is drawn into the clit. This mimics the body's natural arousal response, where blood rushes to fill the tissue of the vulva making it more sensitive to touch and other sensations, explains Myisha Battle, a certified sex and dating coach.

Aesthetics are another major reason people use these toys. Pumping makes the clit visibly engorged, which can look, well, pretty sexy. Transgender, transmasculine, non-binary, or gender non-conforming people may use pumps to experience temporary genital growth, Finn adds. "A lot of people find the idea of having a more pronounced clitoral head — or having their clit feel more phallic in shape — really hot," they say. "It can be important for someone's 
gender affirmation, to have something that feels more like a phallus that's a part of the biological body, instead of something like a dildo."

"Being able to cause a visible erection through pumping can feel empowering to certain [transgender and gender nonconforming] TGNC people (and also to non-TGNC people for that matter)," confirms Dulcinea Pitagora, PhD, a sex therapist known as the Kink Doctor who uses they/them pronouns. Some products, such as Babeland's Trans Masc Pump are designed specifically for queer, transmascluine, and non-binary bodies.

But a clit pump can be a helluva a fun toy for anyone with a clitoris, who enjoys intense clitoral stimulation, says Dr. Pitagora.

Clit pumps are safe, as long as you’re following the directions that come with the product, and don't use it on areas with tissue damage. There is a small risk of vulvar tissue or even blood vessel injury, but this is very rare. To minimize even that tiny risk, before you test one out, make sure you know where the release valve is. This valve will quickly release the pressure if your pumping ends up getting a little too enthusiastic. You can also put lube around the clit before using the pump to make it more comfortable.

If you plan to have your partner use the pump on you, play around with it solo first to get familiar with the amount of suction you're comfortable with, and establish a safe word so you can quickly end the experiment if you feel any sort of discomfort, Battle says. “A clit pump is designed for arousal, meaning it should be removed prior to any sexual play,” Battle says. “It is also designed for external use only so the pump shouldn't be used inside the vagina.”

As Battle says, “Clit pumps are the underdogs of the pleasure product world." If you're curious, swipe through to find a pump that works for you.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team, but if you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the Moderna vaccine for emergency use shortly before 8 p.m. Eastern Time on Friday, Dec. 18. The news comes just one week after the FDA approved the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine for mass distribution across the U.S. 

“With the availability of two vaccines now for the prevention of COVID-19, the FDA has taken another crucial step in the fight against this global pandemic that is causing vast numbers of hospitalizations and deaths in the United States each day,” FDA Commissioner Stephen M. Hahn, MD, said in an FDA press release. “Through the FDA’s open and transparent scientific review process, two COVID-19 vaccines have been authorized in an expedited timeframe while adhering to the rigorous standards for safety, effectiveness, and manufacturing quality.”

Today, FDA issued an emergency use authorization (EUA) for the second vaccine for the prevention of #COVID19 caused by SARS-CoV-2. The emergency use authorization allows the vaccine to be distributed in the U.S for use in individuals 18 years and older. https://t.co/w4BQVg0n2G pic.twitter.com/cw5JwYqxsh

— U.S. FDA (@US_FDA) December 19, 2020

Yesterday, an FDA advisory panel recommended that the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine be cleared for use in people 18 years of age and older. They voted 20-0 to recommend use of the vaccine, with one abstention. “The evidence for the vaccine highly outweighs any issues that we have seen,” Hayley Gans, a member of the FDA panel and a Stanford University pediatrics professor, said of the Moderna vaccine yesterday. 

Federal officials have said that they’ll distribute nearly six million doses of the Moderna vaccine across the nation, likely within the next 24 hours, The Wall Street Journal reports. Each state will have the final say on how to distribute the vaccine, but the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that frontline health care workers and nursing homes get the vaccine first. Most states are following this advice. There’s currently not enough data to recommend the vaccine to minors and people who are breastfeeding or pregnant. 

Both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines are made with modified messenger RNA (MRNA) and both require two doses; the doses of the Moderna vaccine are given 28 days apart, while Pfizer’s are given 21 days apart. After reanalyzing data from Moderna, the FDA confirmed that this vaccine was 94% effective two weeks after the second dose; Pfizer’s was found to be 95% effective. “Which one is better? The one you can get first,” says Jill Grimes, MD, a board-certified family physician in Texas. 

The major upside of the Moderna vaccine is that it can be more widely distributed than the Pfizer shot because it can be stored at standard refrigerated temperatures of 36° to 46°F for 30 days, Moderna noted in a company press release. Meanwhile, the Pfizer vaccine must be kept at minus-94 degrees Fahrenheit and therefore must be packed in dry ice to be distributed. This makes Moderna’s shot a good option for hospitals and clinics in rural areas that might not have the equipment to store Pfizer’s vaccine properly. “Smaller venues including community centers, nursing homes, community pharmacies, and more remote areas can benefit from the Moderna vaccine because storage is simple,” says Preeti N. Malani, MD, chief health officer at the University of Michigan.

The side effects of both the Pfizer and the Modern vaccine are reportedly mild, says Amesh Adalja, a senior scholar at Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security. He notes that it’s hard to know how the side effects of the two vaccines will compare, given that no study has compared the two directly. “[With Moderna], some people will get injection site soreness, aches, and pains, but it’s preferable to having COVID-19,” says Dr. Adalja, who received his first injection of the Pfizer vaccine today at his hospital and said he felt fine after taking it.

The FDA noted that in a trial of Moderna’s vaccine, a few participants experienced more moderate side effects. One person experienced severe nausea and vomiting; two others reported facial swelling. Both people who experienced swelling previously had cosmetic dermal fillers. The FDA’s Moderna briefing document noted that there were three reports of Bell’s palsy, a form of temporary facial paralysis, among those who received the vaccine as well as one case in the group of study participants who received the placebo. (The Pfizer vaccine trial had four cases in the vaccine group.) This number of cases wasn’t statistically significant and was on par with the rate of this condition in the general population, Rachel Zhang, an FDA medical officer, told the advisory panel Thursday. 

Emergency use authorization is granted only in instances when there’s a major public health threat with no fully approved treatment or vaccine. The only person to abstain from granting the EUA on the FDA advisory panel was Michael Kurilla, MD, PhD, the director of the Division of Clinical Innovation at NIH’s National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences. In a statement sent to Refinery29, he noted that he abstained because of the way the FDA worded the question he was voting on, and because of a lack of long-term safety data. “I felt uncomfortable with an assessment of the vaccine’s risk/benefit profile without also including consideration of the individual’s COVID-19 disease risk,” he added.

The rest of the panel, along with many doctors and experts, agree that granting the EUA is the right choice. “On balance, this vaccine’s benefits greatly outweigh the risks of COVID-19, especially given the present danger and public health crisis,” Dr. Adalja says.

The Moderna approval comes at the end of a devastating week, during which the U.S. broke its record for total deaths in a single day with 3,600 deaths on Wednesday, Dec 16. “Both vaccine approvals really represent a moment of hope, even though the COVID numbers are really terrible right now,” says Dr. Malani. “This is a great moment, but I hope it’s also a moment where we can say, ‘I can do this, I can limit my gatherings, I can wear a mask, I can stay home if I’m sick, and I can do the holidays differently.’ This is the first time there’s really felt like an end in sight.”

For now, you can learn more information about when you might be able to receive the vaccine in your state by checking the Vaccine Allocation Planner for COVID-19 website. Until then, and following your vaccination, continue following the CDC’s guidelines for preventing the spread of COVID-19, including wearing masks, washing your hands, and staying distanced. 

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You might want to sit down. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration granted emergency use authorization (EUA) for the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, according to a press release the agency released at about 9:30 p.m. Eastern time Friday, Dec. 11.

“The FDA’s authorization for emergency use of the first COVID-19 vaccine is a significant milestone in battling this devastating pandemic that has affected so many families in the United States and around the world,” FDA Commissioner Stephen M. Hahn, M.D. said in the press release. “Today’s action follows an open and transparent review process that included input from independent scientific and public health experts and a thorough evaluation by the agency’s career scientists to ensure this vaccine met FDA’s rigorous, scientific standards for safety, effectiveness, and manufacturing quality needed to support emergency use authorization.”

The news was met with enthusiasm from those in the medical community.

“The first emergency use authorization of a COVID-19 vaccine by FDA marks an exciting and hopeful moment,” Jesse L. Goodman, MD, the former FDA Chief Scientist and professor of medicine and infectious diseases at Georgetown University, said in a press release shortly after the decision was reported on.

“The FDA’s authorization for emergency use of the first #COVID19 vaccine is a significant milestone in battling this devastating pandemic that has affected so many families in the United States and around the world.” – FDA Commissioner @SteveFDA

— U.S. FDA (@US_FDA) December 12, 2020

“As a health care provider who treats people with COVID-19, I’m looking forward to being vaccinated and protected. Important in my decision to be vaccinated and to recommend vaccination to others at risk, is that FDA scientists, despite tremendous pressure from the highest levels of government, have protected the integrity of their vaccine review process, promoting transparency and incorporating external expert input in its deliberations,” Dr. Goodman added.

In the next 24 hours, 6.4 million doses of the mRNA vaccine are expected to leave warehouses; about half of those will be shipped out across the country, while officials will hold back the other half so the first wave of recipients can get a second dose of the vaccine after 21 days, The New York Times reports. People could be getting vaccinated by Monday or Tuesday of next week, said Alex Azar, the United States Secretary of Health and Human Services, in an interview with Good Morning America on Friday morning. 

Each state will decide how to roll out the vaccine, though the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention has recommended vaccinating front line workers and nursing home residents first. By the end of December 2021, the entire country may be vaccinated, based on an analysis of data from Operation Warp Speed, the federal program designed in part to expedite the vaccine distribution.

The COVID-19 vaccine was developed by Pfizer and BioNTech, and clinical trial data — vetted and reanalyzed by the FDA —  found it to be 95% effective. 

“This feels like an early Christmas present,” Preeti N. Malani, MD, chief health officer at the University of Michigan, says of the news. She’s been on the front lines all year, as COVID-19 killed nearly 11,000 people in her state. (In the entire U.S., more than  291,000 people have died as a result of the virus). Dr. Malani says she can’t wait to take the vaccine herself, and believes it will “ultimately be part of the path out of this pandemic — which is great news, especially against the backdrop of more than [or nearly] 3,000 deaths a day for the last few days.” 

Although the vaccine may have been given the EUA, which is granted when there is a major medical threat with no FDA-approved treatment, the FDA’s job isn’t done. The health agency will still closely monitor the Pfizer trial for long-term effects — something they’d do even if the vaccine was fully approved. 

“Like any new vaccine, as it’s used in much larger numbers of people, more diverse populations, in people with chronic illnesses, there’s going to be extensive safety monitoring to make sure there [are no] less common adverse events,” Dr. Goodman told Refinery29 at a COVID Vaccine Analysis Team (COVAT) Zoom meeting mid-day Friday. “Those results will be communicated with the public.” 

“As we roll out vaccines to millions of people, we’ll learn more about them — including if there are very rare side effects, but the benefits of vaccination will far outweigh the risks,” added Nate Favini, MD, medical lead at Forward. 

This EUA comes after the majority of an independent advisory panel known as the Vaccines and Related Biological Products Advisory Committee (VRBPAC) voted yes to the question: “Based on the totality of scientific evidence available, do the benefits of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine outweigh its risk for use in individuals 16 years of age and older?” The FDA didn’t have to take the committee’s recommendation, though precedent dictated it would. The committee of scientists and infectious disease experts voted 17 to 4, with one person abstaining. One reported reason some experts voted no was because they believed there wasn’t enough data to support approving the vaccine for 16- and 17 -year olds. The majority, however, agreed the benefits of giving the vaccine to this age group outweighed the risks. 

The vaccine has largely been shown to be safe, particularly when compared with the lasting effects and mortality rates of COVID-19. That said, some people will experience temporary effects. 

Data from Pfizer, which was analyzed by the FDA, showed that short-term effects were common. More than half of people ages 16 to 55 who received the vaccine experienced headache and fatigue. Such effects aren’t out of step with other fully approved vaccines, including the flu shot. “There are symptoms associated with getting this vaccine, especially after the second dose and especially in people younger than 65,” Paul A. Offit, MD, a member of the VRBPAC panel, a professor of pediatrics, and director of the Vaccine Education Center, told Refinery29 at the COVAT meeting. While notable, these side effects  are to be expected — and a sign that the vaccine is working, he says. “When your immune system is activated, it releases a series of proteins like cytokines and chemokines that can have a physiological effect,” Dr. Offit says. “That’s just your immune system working for you. That’s a good thing.” 

Everyone who receives the vaccine should be prepared to experience such effects, and may even want to anticipate needing to take a day off work. In fact, at Dr. Offit’s hospital, the emergency department won’t all be immunized on the same day with this in mind. But that shouldn’t be cause for alarm, he says.

“If you don’t get vaccinated, you’re at risk for getting COVID-19,” Glen Nowak, PhD, director of the Grady Center for Health Communications at the University of Georgia, told Refinery29 at the COVAT meeting. Simply put, the VRBPAC found that the risks of contracting the virus — for yourself, for your loved ones, for your community — far outweigh the risks associated with the vaccine. 

“I think it’s remarkable,” Dr. Offit says of the vaccine approval news. “I don’t think you would have found a scientist on this planet that could have predicted this 11 months ago.” 

“All of us in infectious diseases, and medicine as a whole, have been hopeful for so long that this may come to pass,” adds Paul Pottinger, MD, a professor specializing in infectious disease at the University of Washington School of Medicine. “We are so encouraged that we now have a safe, effective vaccine, which will become a crucial part of the response to the COVID-19 pandemic. We encourage everyone who is eligible to receive this vaccine at their soonest convenience, in accordance with public health guidelines.” 

“This is a wonderful example of investments over the last 10 to 20 years in new technology,” Dr. Goodman says. “But we also have a long way to go. We hardly have any vaccine [supply] yet. The pandemic is raging.” That’s why, he says, covering your face and socially distancing (yes, even if you’re wearing a mask) are still incredibly important steps, and will continue to be despite the EUA. 

“Deploying this vaccine and others like it will take time,” Dr. Pottinger says. “Now is not the time for us to slack off. Instead, you should continue to do all the things to keep yourselves and your loved ones safe. Do not leave home if you are sick or have been exposed to someone with the infection, cover your face if you do leave home, and make sure you give others plenty of personal space.”

This year was truly defined by the pandemic, so to end 2020 with news of an EUA for a vaccine is especially gratifying. Yes, we’ll still be wearing our face masks for the foreseeable future — but at least tonight, we have a reason to smile under them.

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