Thanks for reading Can We Talk?, a sex and relationships column that aims to tackle the burning questions about sex, dating, relationships, and breakups that you’re too afraid to ask your partner — or maybe even your besties. Last time, relationship therapist Moraya Seeger DeGeare, LMFT, helped a reader who was stuck in a cycle of going for unavailable partners. This week, we heard from Refinery29 readers about their dating habits and patterns and how they did (or didn’t) break them. 

Do you have a dilemma or question you’d like to see answered as part of a future Can We Talk? Submit it here or send us an email at CanWeTalk@Refinery29.com.

Jana, Southern Ontario, Canada 

Jana immigrated to Canada with her family as a child and grew up in a household with “a violent, alcoholic father.” Her parents divorced when she was 10 years old. “We were plunged into poverty,” she says. “My father went back to our home country and my mother never received any child support or alimony from him. I never saw him again. We were all shell-shocked. And none of us actually got past it or received help. Survival was the priority. For myself, I internalized everything that I had witnessed as a child and grew into a depressed and angry teenager with an unhealthy mindset regarding men and relationships.” 

Jana, now in her late 20s, says these experiences lead to a pattern of her expecting the worst from people — men she was seeing, in particular — based on her past experiences in life. “I grew up thinking that domestic violence was the norm,” she says. “In my romantic relationships, this manifested by me accepting bad behavior as just being normal. Because it could always be worse, after all — He could be hitting me… I had no sense of establishing my own boundaries or of what healthy arguments and conflict resolution looked like.” 

It took time and a few unfortunate dating experiences before Jana recognized that she was consistently expecting — and putting up with — the worst. When she noticed this cycle, she realized that truly correcting it meant working on herself first. “I had not developed any real sense of self. What was my character? What were my values? Where did I want to be in five years? I didn’t think about any of that,” she says.

But, Jana notes, “I had no idea where to even start undoing years of bad patterns. So, I made a list. What was I looking for in a man? And I didn’t mean superficial things, such as ‘he likes to travel,’ but deep things such as finding someone who wanted to build a future, a family. What was his character? His values? How many children did he want? How would they be raised? What were his political views? Religious and spiritual? How would we navigate conflict?” 

Once she had her list describing “the perfect man and the ideal life I wanted,” she took an objective look. “I realized, depressingly, that I had moved so far away from being the type of woman that a person like that could ever want to be with. Nothing about my present lifestyle or mindset was conducive to being able to even accept a healthy relationship. If I were my ideal partner, I never would have dated me at that point.” 

Jana had just gotten out of a bad relationship, and she stayed single while she began to make changes. “I saved my money,” she says. “I pursued my hobbies…  I went on solo hikes through the Icelandic wilderness where I never saw another person. I went on a road trip with my girlfriends where we just hiked mountains in Western Canada. I didn’t go near men in any capacity. I couldn’t trust myself to not go back to old patterns. I spent a lot of time alone.” 

“Time passed and I gradually felt more at peace with myself,” she continues. About two years later, she felt confident enough to begin dating again — and she met someone who became her husband, and later the father of her child. “Now, I have an energy that I never did before,” she says. “I wake up eagerly and start my day instead of laying in bed wondering what the point is… You have to understand, I was a poor immigrant and I was so miserable and self-destructive that my current life seems like a dream. I have a sense of purpose and direction in my married life as a wife and mother that brings me a sense of contentment I never thought possible. Not only am I more trusting, but I’m quieter, gentler, and have confidence in who I am as a person and in who I will continue to grow into. There is something that happens to you when you slow down and start doing things deliberately. Small tasks take on a greater meaning. There is a purpose to the day and a sense of possibility that gives you hope.” 

It’s not a linear process, this kind of self-growth, Jana says. “I still get down on myself and need reminding that the greatest things in life — the biggest changes — are gradual and require sacrifice,” she says. “But everyone has the capacity to change.”

Karly Polkosnik, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

In her early 20s, Karly found herself single after splitting with her long-term partner. In the first year post-breakup, she noticed the same thing kept happening to her: She’d go on a few dates with someone and they’d hit it off. Then she’d start to get anxious about the next steps, and she’d confront the person about if they saw a future. “I’d say, ‘Here’s how I’m feeling and here’s what I want,’ and they’d be like, ‘Well, we’ve only hung out twice,’” she remembers. “I was like, ‘Why do you need three weeks to decide if you like me?’ I gave everything zero room to breathe.” If the person started to pull back, she didn’t hear from them for a while, or their communication was inconsistent, she’d self-sabotage, she says. “I would become backhanded or passive-aggressive,” Karly adds. “When things didn’t work out, I would take it personally as a hit to my ego, and the only way I knew how to deal with that was imploding things and saying something horrible so we’d never talk again.” 

After this happened more than a few times, Karly decided to do some introspection. She went to therapy and ultimately decided to take six months and be completely single. “I went off the apps, there were no friend hookups, no rekindling old flames,” she says. “I realized that I had never been alone with myself, and so that time was so important. I was really trying to listen to my emotions and sit with them. And to understand my triggers.” 

When she dipped her toe back into the dating pool, she met someone she liked, and started to feel attached early on. “I noticed myself falling back into it and being dramatic,” she remembers. “But instead of blowing things up, I stopped myself. I thought: I’ve spent all this time working on this, and I’m hurting myself and other people. Instead of getting upset and unleashing on them, I just took myself out of the situation. This wasn’t serving me. I said, ‘You obviously don’t want what I want, so we’re not going to do this anymore.’ That was the first time I did it that way… That was the pivot point.” 

Now 25, Karly says her approach to dating has changed for the better. “At the end of the day, I’ve come to believe it’s all about understanding yourself,” she says. “It’s important to figure out what you want, how you process things, what upsets you, and how you understand the world around you, before you add another person into the equation.”

Pam*, Los Angeles, California

The first time Pam dated an older man, she was 16 and he was 19. By her late 20s, she’d noticed she had a pattern of dating older men, and she decided it needed to stop, as it was causing her heartache and trauma. 

Upon reflection, she was particularly disturbed by the power dynamics in many of the relationships she’d been in. There was always a perception that they knew better because they were older, which created an imbalance. Another big example: when she was 20, Pam began dating her college professor. “It was a violation of so many different ethical rules, and had a devastating impact on my mental health,” she says. 

It took a lot of work to recover from this, which involved “acknowledging her role in the cycle and taking responsibility to change it,” while also recognizing that these older men were the ones taking advantage of her. To do this, she looked at the pattern and tried to determine what internal struggles she needed to confront. Pam relied on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and hypnotherapy to help her work through the complex succession of relationships with older partners she’d found herself in. She also found it helpful to explore witchcraft practices and to write a letter to her inner child. 

These exercises helped her gain insight into her past and understand her present mindset. “In some ways, I thought dating older men made me special and showed maturity, but, in actuality, I was a tool that they used to make themselves feel younger and more desirable,” she reflects.  

Pam says she came to see that her absent father and her childhood faith both played a role in her tendency to date older men. “My family comes from a heavily Christian background, and the idea is that you should find a male to take care of you,” she explains. “There were all these traditional gender roles. I think, deep down, I thought if I found someone older, they’d be able to take care of me. Now, I think many of these men were predators.” 

Amanda, Brooklyn, NY

The first time Amanda ever ghosted someone it was, fittingly, Halloween. It was 2013, and she’d been feeling for a while that a friendship had become abusive and codependent. So, she “decided to never respond to her again,” she says. “The outcome was what I wanted, which was her out of my life — full stop, period. But it was so scary because I’d never cut somebody off like that before.” 

By 2015, Amanda realized that ghosting was becoming a habit, now in her romantic relationships. “I was going on a lot of dates, and a lot of the time I was just like, ‘Nah,’” the 30-year-old says. “But usually it was mutual ghosting.”

“Ghosting gets a bad rap, but, to me, it’s not bad,” she continues. “Because it’s almost always done out of self-respect. As a society, we’ve built up this almost moral obligation to others. But I’m a Black woman in society and no one has ever felt a moral obligation to respect me.” 

While Amanda acknowledges that she’s “been ghosted, and it sucks,” she believes that when it’s done the right way, there’s nothing harmful about it. She’s a fan of the “slow fade” when you’re both on the same page and just let things fizzle out. She also believes in ghosting for your personal mental health and safety. And partaking in the practice when you’re simply at your capacity, mentally, emotionally, or physically, and need to step back. But the blind-siding ghosting of someone who really likes you and doesn’t expect it is more likely to be hurtful, and she tries to avoid it.

All told, Amanda has recognized her ghosting pattern and all the reasons she’s done it in the past — and isn’t in too big a hurry to change her ways. She says she’s still looking for the perfect “Tetris piece” partner who fits just so into her already busy life. But, until that happens? She may ghost a few more folks who don’t.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 for confidential support. 

*Names have been changed.

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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a software developer who makes $99,972 per year and spends some of their money this week on Dunkin’ drinks.

Occupation: Software Developer
Industry: Artificial Intelligence
Age: 23
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Salary: $99,972
Net Worth: ~$55,000 ($40,000 in my 401(k), $10,000 in savings (fluctuating throughout the month depending on my direct deposit and expenses), and $3,000 in my HSA. I live with my partner, who makes a bit more money than me, and who doesn’t have student loan debt.)
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $2,325
Pronouns: They/them or she/her

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1,200, which is the rent (including water and sewer) for the two-bed, one-bath I share with my partner. We basically split expenses, but I have a lower credit limit so pay more of the routine bills.
Student Loans: $0 (I paid off $12,000 in student debt and a $14,000 car loan after I finished college in 2019.)
Car Insurance: $80
Renter’s Insurance: $10
News: $25 (I subscribe to two different local newsletters to stay informed, as well as having a Medium membership and two other email lists.)
AAA Membership: $8
Prescription Medication: $40
Pet Medication/Food: $20
Phone Bill: $15 (I have a TracFone.)
Spotify: $15 (I pay for a family plan so that some friends can use it.)
Charitable Contributions: $500 to $750

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I was expected to go to college, but I was a studious kid so it seemed obvious. My parents promised us that they would contribute the cost of state school towards the university of our choice — my brothers both attended the state college and so graduated with no debt. I received a lot of scholarships but took out about $12,000 in the first two years of school. I graduated early and was an RA the third year, so I didn’t have to take out any loans the third year.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents are very upwardly mobile and through career advancement moved from lower middle class when I was a young child to upper middle class by the time I was in high school. That means I was used to a lot of frugality — coupon clipping, thrift shopping, and camping vacations — but we never struggled to afford the necessities and were able to travel frequently. I’m super grateful for all the lessons about how to live well below your means, but now that I have my current job, I’ve been trying to learn where it pays off to splurge a little more.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
Through high school, I tutored to get a bit more spending money. That summer, I worked as a dishwasher and waited tables at a local restaurant, so I could have money for any expenses (textbooks, school supplies, and spending money) at college.

Did you worry about money growing up?
I definitely realized that my family couldn’t afford some of the same things as my friends, but mostly my parents were so creative about it that I never took it to heart. I spent a lot of sleepless nights once I was old enough to think about college, but ultimately I’m glad I chose to attend a private school because it set me up for my software career despite not being much more expensive after scholarships.

Do you worry about money now?
Only about medical bills. In the last year, I’ve started showing signs of a chronic illness, so between extra follow-ups with my GP and some specialist visits, it adds up quickly. It’s been great for my stress levels to not have to mentally tally every single purchase for fear of overdrafting my checking account.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Besides tuition, I started paying for all of my expenses after my second year of college when I was 19. I had an internship in my current city, which meant I had to pay rent and buy all my own groceries for the first time, instead of living in the dining hall and having a meal plan. My partner has more money in savings than I do, which we could dip into if there was a short-term change to our situation. If I were to have a major crisis, I’d probably be able to move back in with my parents, though they’d expect me to chip in for rent and share food costs if I still had any income.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Not since I was a kid.

Day One

12 p.m. — I roll out of bed and eat two over-easy eggs with leftover homemade yogurt bread (I love sourdough, but haven’t made the leap to making my own starter). I’m on a self-improvement kick for the new year, so I get dressed, give my dog breakfast, and invite the friends in my pod for a walk at one of the nearby greenways.

2 p.m. — Nobody’s around for the walk, but my partner and I go for about four miles. In order to get out of our pandemic slump, we’re both trying to get out of the house more.

4 p.m. — On the way home, I stop at a neighbor’s house to pick up some shot glasses they were getting rid of on my local Buy Nothing group. I also pick up some Dunkin’ drinks on the way. $11.73

5 p.m. — My skin has been kinda congested lately, so I put on a face mask my friend gave me when they de-stashed last year. I eat last night’s dinner leftovers (black bean hummus and loubia with some toast) for a late lunch, start watching Parks and Rec with my partner on Peacock, and look up outdoor fitness classes. I find a Zumba class nearby that meets Wednesday evenings.

9 p.m. — It’s my partner’s turn to cook dinner — they make fried rice. I empty and re-load the dishwasher and talk to my parents on the phone.

11 p.m. — I dyed my hair before Christmas, but it didn’t come out how I wanted so I ordered a color-depositing conditioner to adjust it. To prime my hair for the dye, I do a bleach wash with some clarifying shampoo. Since I’m already standing in the bathroom, I also dye my eyebrows with Just For Men beard dye (which I read about doing in a Kesha interview back in 2020). I got my brows microbladed last summer, but the combo of the microblading and the dye is what makes them bold enough to really frame my face.

12 a.m. — Finish my shower (I only shampoo my hair once a week, so it takes a little longer than usual), take my meds and vitamins, and watch TikTok for a bit until I fall asleep.

Daily Total: $11.73

Day Two

9 a.m. — I recently moved teams, so I have a new recurring meeting starting this week at 9:45. I manage to get out of bed by 9:30. I eat a banana, update my bullet journal, and check my email and Slack messages.

11 a.m. — Take my dog out, make breakfast (same as yesterday — two over-easy eggs with the rest of the leftover bread), and brew up some green tea with peppermint. While going through my junk mail that got delivered while we were out of town, I see a flyer for fiber internet. I was interested in getting it when we moved, but it wasn’t available then, so I sign up. It’s higher bandwidth and cheaper than my current bill even without all the rebates they’re doing right now (I won’t pay for anything until the first bill comes).

1 p.m. — Heads down. Monday is usually a pretty light workday for me, but I had terrible executive dysfunction on Friday so I have some stuff I’m behind on including working on a portfolio to get promoted, as well as some development work for my new team.

3 p.m. — I heat up some leftover fried rice for lunch and make a protein shake with frozen berry mix and oat milk. Take the dog out again. My new conditioner was delivered!

7 p.m. — Wrap up work for the day. Normally on Mondays, my partner and I work out together, but they ask me to run to CVS to grab some stuff because they’re not feeling well. Besides the stuff they need, I grab them some more skincare (because they’re always running out) and some candy. I also get myself a chocolate bar because I think my period is about to start. $38.75

8 p.m. — My turn to cook dinner! I want boiled potatoes and I sauté some chicken to go with them. While I’m cooking, I eat spinach drizzled with olive oil. I struggle to get enough vegetables, but I find baby spinach pretty tolerable so we usually have some in the fridge for snacking.

9 p.m. — Eat dinner, watch more Parks and Rec.

11 p.m. — Shower and get to bed. I use the new coloring conditioner, but I can’t really tell if it actually dyed my hair at all.

Daily Total: $38.75

Day Three

9 a.m. — I didn’t sleep super well, so my ambitions of getting up early to get a head start on work are dead in the water. I do get up early enough to make myself toast (which I’m eating with leftover hummus) and brew some tea before my first call starts. I don’t usually have a lot of meetings, but today I have a block that runs until noon.

10 a.m. — One meeting ends early enough for me to take the dog out and give her breakfast. I check my email and Slack messages.

12 p.m. — I eat a bowl of skyr with some berries while on a video call with a couple of friends from work, but I don’t stay on long. I grab the extra shot glasses I picked up Sunday and leash up the dog for a walk around the neighborhood. I drop off the glasses and pick up a cork board from another Buy Nothing listing. The round trip is about three miles. I’m really grateful to be living in a walkable town.

2 p.m. — Get back and have spinach and leftover potatoes for lunch. I’m saving the chicken for tonight’s dinner, so I scramble up some turkey sausage and eggs with cheese. I check my emails again and am still feeling kinda fried so instead of diving back into work, I scroll TikTok for a while. Some KF94 masks I ordered last week get delivered, which is great because we’re getting low on stock — the website only allowed me to order packs of 50, so I’m planning on distributing a bunch to our pod and offering the extras to the Buy Nothing group later in the week.

4 p.m. — Meeting ends early. I was hoping to get some more work done, but I’m just feeling run down and instead manage to eat some leftover Christmas candy and lay on the couch.

7 p.m. — My partner still isn’t feeling well, so we both take some Tylenol. After laying on the couch all afternoon, my knees are really starting to hurt. I watch a few episodes of Big Mouth while they take a social call. Then they make rice and frozen potstickers for dinner while we watch Parks and Rec.

11 p.m. — Shower and go to bed. Not as early as I was hoping to do that tonight.

Daily Total: $0

Day Four

9 a.m. — Wake up with my first alarm because my shoulders are hurting. I must have slept on them wrong. Despite waking up early, I have no energy this morning so I just lay in bed reading Twitter for the next hour. I don’t have time to make breakfast before my meeting and just take more Tylenol instead.

11 a.m. — No more meetings today, and I’m craving comfort food, so I make shakshuka for breakfast. It’s a recipe I’ve only made once before, but it comes out great and succeeds in lifting my mood a bit. I also drink some herbal tea with oat milk.

12 p.m. — I’ve been interested in getting a produce box to have more consistent fresh veggies, so I sign up. There’s a coupon to get $25 off, so I add a few extras to the $15 box and only pay the delivery fee. $4.99

2 p.m. — I write some code and send it to my teammate to look over. While I’m waiting for them to get back to me, I clean out my closet and put away the pile of clothes that has accumulated. I find a big bin of stuff to get rid of. I’ll sort through it later this week to figure out what to put up for resale, what to post up on the Buy Nothing group, and what to bulk donate (either through the clothing bins that circulate through the Buy Nothing group, or to a nearby thrift store that works with unhoused people in the community). My big project for this week is to get rid of a desk I bought last summer, but between closing out this task for work and Zumba, I probably won’t have time today.

3 p.m. — A hearty lunch (leftover shakshuka and hummus on toast, plus a berry and oat milk protein shake) and respond to my teammate’s comments. I have some extra time, so I start looking into the background of a related task that I’ll probably be able to start on tomorrow.

5 p.m. — Time to get ready for Zumba! I haven’t worn most of my workout clothes in a while, so it takes me a couple extra minutes to get dressed. The class is about 40 minutes from my apartment, but I manage to arrive a few minutes early to park my car and pay the instructor. The class is great! I’ve never done Zumba before, but I plan on going back next week. $5

8 p.m. — Get home and crash on the couch in front of Project Runway. Do I watch too much TV? For dinner, I make my new favorite ramen upgrade (it has tahini, chili paste, and soy sauce) and eat some leftover chicken while it’s boiling.

11 p.m. — Normal routine — shower and bed.

Daily Total: $9.99

Day Five

9 a.m. — Wake up a bit earlier than normal because my partner has to go to a doctor’s appointment. Instead of using this time for something productive, I’m reminded of a TikTok I saw a couple days ago about hair cutting and decide it’s time for a quick trim. I’ve almost exclusively done my own hair since high school (before that, my mom would cut it, but she had a mishap once after I asked for long layers and ended up with a long bob), and it usually turns out pretty well. I finish up with about two minutes to sign onto my first meeting.

11 a.m. — I actually have to be on camera later, so I do my skincare and put on some makeup. My skincare routine is really boring — I wash with Cetaphil gentle cleanser in the shower, and in the mornings I have a generic toner from Target, then Cetaphil moisturizer and Bio-Oil. I haven’t been a huge makeup wearer since I’ve been in pandemic mode, but I have a basic routine I do on weekdays to help my features read on camera. I also take the dog out and set up the new Wi-Fi. My teammate has made some more comments on the code I’ve been working on, so I make some changes and send them back.

12 p.m. — My partner picks up Bojangles for brunch on the way home from their appointment. I scarf it down just before joining a Toastmasters meeting. I became a member last summer My public speaking skills definitely stand to improve, but I mostly just enjoy attending meetings.

1 p.m. — Toastmasters meeting ends. I finish setting up the Wi-Fi and cancel my previous service. I post everything I’m getting rid of except the clothes to the Buy Nothing group.

4 p.m. — I’m not actively looking for new jobs, but a recruiter from another company reached out to me about a month ago, so I have a half-hour phone call. Then it’s time to walk the dog before it gets too dark out.

8 p.m. — Once I get back, I eat a bowl of skyr with berries and go through my email and Slack messages again. I play some Stardew with my partner.

8 p.m. — My turn to make dinner again — we’re running low on groceries, so I make waffles using whole-grain protein mix.

11 p.m. — Put some more final touches on my haircut before my shower and head to bed. I’m still awake past midnight, so I get a head start on tomorrow’s Wordle.

Daily Total: $0

Day Six

9 a.m. — Wake up before my alarms, for once. My first meeting doesn’t start until 10:30 today, so I lay in bed scrolling through social media for a while before getting up. I check my emails and Slack messages. I’m donating blood this afternoon, so I fill out my Rapid Pass and make sure to drink some extra water.

11 a.m. — Take the dog out. The waffle iron is still left out from last night, so I scrounge in the pantry for baking mix and make garlic cheddar waffles for breakfast. I also have some skyr with berries for a little nutritional value.

12 p.m. — Drink more water, then heads down for a bit. The produce box I ordered gets delivered.

2 p.m. — My blood donation is in about an hour, so I have to head out. I return my old router and modem (a process which, thanks to some weirdly designed parking lots and a miscommunication from the ISP, takes almost 45 minutes), and roll up to my blood donation appointment a bit late.

4 p.m. — Head out from the blood drive after eating some fruit snacks, which are my main motivation to donate blood. On the way home, I hit Plato’s Closet — this week has been pretty cold and I’m realizing most of my actually warm clothes are from college and are at least two sizes smaller than I’d like. I find a pair of jeans for my partner and a cute graphic sweatshirt. I have store credit from some jeans that didn’t fit my partner a few months ago and a coupon. $5.17

5 p.m. — Make it home just in time to join a tabletop RPG session. I’ve never played any RPGs before, but the group ends up having good chemistry and I have an unexpectedly good time. I realize I haven’t had lunch, so during a break in the session, I find almonds, some candy, and an apple. I tip the facilitator because they’re a broke college student and I figure they could use the money. $30

8 p.m. — Session ends, and my partner has gotten food from our favorite Indian takeout place delivered. We watch Parks and Rec while I decompress from the game, which was pretty emotional.

11 p.m. — I’m so tired that we head to bed, way earlier than normal for a Friday.

Daily Total: $35.17

Day Seven

10 a.m. — Wake up without an alarm, but get up quickly. A nearby university’s theater department is having a costume sale, and I told a friend I’d meet them there because they’re working on building a more interesting wardrobe. Partner can’t find their belt and I have to call my pharmacy to pick up a prescription today before I run out, so we end up leaving a full hour later than I had planned. We have brunch plans with our pod, but the restaurant doesn’t serve food that won’t make me sick, so I scarf down some sourdough toast and a blueberry-oat milk protein shake before dashing out the door.

12 p.m. — The costume sale is kinda underwhelming, but we have some time to kill so we walk the dog around campus for a bit. Everyone ends up running so late to brunch that it gets pushed back far enough that I don’t have time to make it before I have to head over to Zumba. I’m still running about 15 minutes early, but I then realize my car needs gas. $48.22

1 p.m. — I’m really getting into Zumba! $5

3 p.m. — On the way home, I need to pick up the prescription I called in — my insurance covers it completely, so I have no copay. We’re supposed to get some potentially icy weather tomorrow, so I pick up a few odds-and-ends groceries to make sure we don’t have to run back out. It’s more expensive than I was expecting — serves me right for shopping hangry. $61.10

4 p.m. — I get home and have cheese, crackers, and hummus for lunch. I also mix up some cappuccino powder with oat milk and caramel. Yum! I’m really tired from all the stress of the morning, so I take a nap on the couch in front of YouTube. It’s very unsatisfying because the apartment is a bit too cold, and I’m laying in a way that hurts my knees.

7 p.m. — I wake up and browse Etsy for a necklace I’ve been thinking about buying. Take a shower in an attempt to warm up.

8 p.m. — I make pizza for dinner! Our last jar of red sauce has mold in it, but we have canned tomato sauce from other recipes that I mix into something passable. I also run out of flour 80% of the way into making the dough, so it isn’t quite right. But I’ve got decent produce from the box, so it actually comes out really well!

9 p.m. — I’ve been looking for a fleece pullover to replace one I’d been keeping at my parents’ house. I find one on Poshmark for really cheap, so I impulse buy it. My partner is on a call, so I eat my pizza in front of Big Mouth. $15.05

12 a.m. — Head to bed.

Daily Total: $129.37

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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a recreational therapist who has a joint income of $51,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on an Old Navy T-shirt.

Occupation: Recreational Therapist
Industry: Healthcare
Age: 33
Location: Southern Michigan
My Salary: Unemployed (laid off in January 2022)
My Husband’s Salary: $51,000
Net Worth: ~$180,000 combined (Our assets include our house ($57,000 left on the mortgage, house worth $130,000+), our trailer (valued at $10,000), our car (valued at $10,000), our 401(k)s ($40,000 in mine, $53,000 in husband’s), joint savings of $10,000, and our daughters’ 529 account: $4,700, minus debt.)
Debt: husband’s student loans: $17,650, mortgage: $57,000
My Paycheck Amount (biweekly): Currently $0 (Prior to losing job my net paycheck was $1,185.)
My Husband’s Paycheck Amount (biweekly): $1,615
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Mortgage: $580
Husband’s Car Payment: $218
Husband’s Student Loan Payment: On hold, but $200 when payments resume.
Energy: $150-$250
Gas: $50
Internet/Streaming Services: $125
Cell Phone: $130
Car Insurance: $250
529 Contribution: $100
Husband’s 401(k): $254

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I think my generation has always been expected to attend higher education. It wasn’t so much my parents that pushed it, though. My dad worked in the trades and my mom was a stay-at-home mom for all of my childhood, so I know they would have supported me through any decision I made. I ended up going to university and received a bachelor’s degree. My parents paid for my undergrad, which I was grateful for, however, it was because my dad’s longtime employer paid him a retirement buyout of $100,000 (to split among three kids).

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents didn’t talk too openly about finances, but I knew there was stress, especially around 2008 when everything crashed. My mom had a lot of stocks that took a hit and my dad was forced into retirement. It was a hard time for them but they still provided and made sure we didn’t have to worry. They are much more open now that we are older and asking for more advice.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was as a camp counselor at a summer camp for individuals with disabilities. I wanted the experience of working in that setting since that was related to my major. I worked part-time since I was lucky enough that I was living at home and had support from my parents.

Did you worry about money growing up?
We worried when it came time to go to college. Our parents said they would pay for undergrad, but we still applied for every scholarship we could to ease the burden.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes, especially now that I just lost my job as a recreational therapist. It’s scary not knowing when my next paycheck will show up or when I will find another job. We’ve always been comfortable, but we would love to bring in a little more so we don’t have to worry as much.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
After I graduated college I moved into my own apartment and started two part-time jobs. I haven’t asked for assistance from my parents since and have offered to pay them back for my schooling, but they won’t let me. Over the past two years while student loans have been on hold, I told my husband we should throw extra money into our savings instead. I’m grateful we did because we have a small safety net if I’m not able to find a new job right away.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No.

Day One

9:30 a.m. — I sleep in and have a late breakfast (French toast made by my husband, my favorite). I’m grateful my husband enjoys cooking! Our two daughters play around me while I drink coffee.

11 a.m. — We attend virtual church since we are finishing up our quarantine after my daughter had COVID. I’m grateful to still be able to stay connected even if we can’t attend in person. We try to give $50 a week to our church (online donation). $50

2 p.m. — The girls are napping/having quiet time so I take advantage of some free time and apply for jobs. I was unexpectedly let go from my job of over 10 years because of budget cuts so I’m still a little shocked, but I know I need to start applying ASAP. While I’m applying to jobs, my husband buys a CBD oil product recommended by his sister (I think he’s hoping this will help with my stress?). $48

7:30 p.m. — We do bedtime routine for kids then spend the rest of the evening applying for more jobs and reading before bed. In bed by 10:30.

Daily Total: $98

Day Two

6:30 a.m. — Up early to wake up before the kids get up. Exercising is so important for my mental health and it’s something I try to prioritize. After my workout, I spend time making the girls’ breakfast and enjoying our downtime.

12 p.m. — Lunch for the girls and myself (deli meat, cheese, crackers, fruits, and veggies — basically a homemade Lunchable). Girls are off to nap and quiet time and I apply for more jobs. I also spend this time writing notes to all of my clients since I have to say goodbye tomorrow. I am going to be a mess!

2:30 p.m. — DSW is my weakness. They email me with a coupon and I have rewards to use, so I make an impulsive purchase and buy two pairs of shoes. I know I will wear them often and they will work for job interviews, so I try not to feel guilty about it. $95

5:30 p.m. — My daughter needs a negative COVID test to return to school tomorrow but unfortunately it came back positive. She had symptoms over a week ago but it stays in your system for a while. She’ll be home from school until Thursday.

8:30 p.m. — Kids are in bed and job applications are finished. Relaxing with a book until going to sleep at 11.

Daily Total: $95

Day Three

9 a.m. — I head to work to pack up my office and say goodbye to my clients and coworkers. I stop by Starbucks to pick up coffee and breakfast for myself and my office buddies. After 10 years of working here, it’s very hard for me to say goodbye. I spend so much time crying, but I’m letting myself grieve and be sad today. $25

11 a.m.— Since my mom is watching the girls, I take an hour wandering aimlessly around Target. I know I need to watch my spending so I try to limit my purchases to things that are on our grocery list (kids’ vitamins, granola bars, hair cream), but it’s Target, so I end up buying a blanket and a sweater for my daughter too. $75

5 p.m. — Make a quick dinner and get the girls ready for dance. My husband takes them so I can go to the grocery store and finish buying what is on our list. I get fruit and produce, applesauce, bread and buns, crackers, cheese, rice, hot dogs, burger patties, pork chops, protein shakes, milk, and chocolate bars. $53

8:30 p.m. — I relax with some wine and greasy food after the kids go to bed. In bed by 10:30.

Daily Total: $153

Day Four

8 a.m. — Lazy morning with my girls. After breakfast of toast, eggs, and fruit we go outside because it’s sunny and somewhat warm (for winter in Michigan). Feels good to be in the sun!

12 p.m. — I have two interviews set up! One is for tomorrow morning (in person) and the other is a Zoom interview on Friday afternoon. It feels good to get some responses to my applications so quickly.

6 p.m. — We’ve had an uneventful day, which is just what we needed. Spending the evening getting my daughter’s school stuff together, packing her lunch, and preparing for my interview in the morning. In bed before 10.

Daily Total: $0

Day Five

5 a.m. — Even though I have a busy morning I still fit in my workout. I know I’ll feel better than if I skip it. After showering and getting ready, I get my daughter up, make her breakfast, let my mom in to watch the kids, and get out the door by 7:30.

9 a.m. — The interview is at a local coffee shop in Ann Arbor. I pay $5 for parking but my coffee is paid for by the interviewer. The interview gies well and I’m excited to have some options! $5

3 p.m. — I grab the youngest from home (grateful my mom is close enough to watch my kids) and head to pick up my oldest from school. Once home I start prepping breakfast for dinner for the kids — my favorite simple dinner.

7 p.m. — My husband leaves to get a haircut while I do bedtime with the kids. The rest of the night is laid back and we’re both in bed by 9:30. $25

Daily Total: $30

Day Six

8 a.m. — I wake up early, exercise, and then get myself and my daughter ready. After dropping her off at school, I got to the hospital for a mammogram and diagnostic ultrasound. Unfortunately, they find some areas of concern so I have to return in two to three months to make sure it’s nothing serious. Did I mention this year is off to a rocky start??

2:30 p.m. — My mom picks up my youngest so I can have an empty house for my Zoom interview. The interview itself goes well, but I already know it’s not one I want. It’s too far away and it’s a big pay cut.

5:30 p.m. — My husband and I are able to have a date night tonight at our favorite local restaurant. Sangria for me, beer for him, Mediterranean entrees, and desserts for both. It’s rare that we ever get or spend this much on a date night but after a rough couple of weeks, we are happy to treat ourselves. $82

7:30 p.m. — We pick up the girls from my parents and head home. In bed before 10.

Daily Total: $82

Day Seven

8 a.m. — I sleep in and it is glorious! I quickly fit in a workout while my husband makes breakfast (the kids joined me which is always fun to watch). Then, we quickly get ready to meet my sisters in Detroit. We fill up my husband’s car on the way. $25

10:30 a.m. — Meet my sisters at a cafe for breakfast and coffee. Afterward, we head to a King Tut exhibit at a local museum. It’s a great exhibit and it’s always fun spending time with my sisters. $12

6 p.m. — Spaghetti night, which means a definite bath night for my kids. My parents stop by to drop off some food and things for the girls (they have a Costco membership and they always buy too much of everything). The kids are super hyper but still manage to fall asleep at their normal time.

11 p.m. — I can’t fall asleep because I have way too much on my mind. I decide to do a little browsing on Old Navy’s website and notice my favorite basic tees are on sale for $3. I promise myself I will cut back on unnecessary shopping tomorrow… $15

Daily Total: $52

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A Week In Chicago, IL, On A $67,000 Salary

A Week In Jacksonville, FL, On A $497,000 Income

A Week In San Bernardino, CA On A $79,000 Salary

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via https://dmtbeautyspot.com

Refinery29, DMT.NEWS, DMT BeautySpot,

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a sales associate/freelance writer who makes $27,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on a birthday cake.

Occupation: Sales Associate/Freelance Writer
Industry: Media
Age: 23
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Salary: $27,000
Net Worth: -$20,000 ($20,000 in an investment account my mom started for me, $10,000 in savings, minus student loans)
Debt: $50,000 (student loans)
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): ~$1,000 (part-time sales associate job plus freelance work)
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $710 (Three-bedroom split with my boyfriend, F., and our roommate Y.)
Utilities: ~$70
Gym: $0 (My boyfriend pays $20/month and I take advantage of his free guest perk.)
Loan Payments: deferred (Will start paying this year when payments restart.)
Spotify: $5 (I’m on the family plan with my brothers, and I pay $60 to my oldest brother every August.)
Website Domain: $8 (Billed yearly, but I purchased a Black Friday deal so it was only $41 this year.)
Streaming Services: $0 (My mom pays for the family Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+.)
Phone: $0 (Mom pays for a family plan.)
NYT Cooking: $0 (My boyfriend pays $40/year.)

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I was always expected to attend college, though only one of my parents completed a bachelor’s degree. I received scholarships but have student loans from college because I attended a private college. I decided to study Literature because I wanted to be a writer and love books, though I am increasingly moving into the journalism field. Now faced with student loan payments in an industry that is not known for a high-paying salary, I wish I chose a community college for the first two years of school and finished my degree at a public, four-year college. I love the private university I attended for the education I received, but I am very anxious about student loans.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
I grew up in a financially secure household and didn’t worry about finances until my father died. My mom took over the family business and quickly saw how much money we were losing and had to cut costs. During that time, my oldest brothers were busy preparing for college, so my mom and I got really close. She leaned on me and was very open about our tricky financial situation, which definitely contributed to my anxiety about money. I always think about my purchases before pulling the trigger and often experience buyer’s remorse, even if the purchase is a necessity. The bright side of this anxiety is that I always spend within my means and pay off my credit card in full each month. I’m also getting better at letting myself spend money on the things I value most. My mom is financially savvy, though, and started an investment account for me, which I’m trying to take over.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was working under the table at my family’s business, but my first official job was working as a sales associate at a clothing store. I worked two to three days a week at $7.25/hour. It wasn’t too much to balance with school and sports because shifts were only five hours long, and I liked having money to be able to say that I could pay for my own gas. More accurately, I bought books and overspent on coffee.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes, all the time. I avoided inviting friends to dinner because I didn’t want my mom to pay for them and I tried not to ask my mom for money if I could help it. This was all pressure I put on myself — she always gave me money if I asked and never made me feel like a burden.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes, but I am becoming more logical about my financial situation. I don’t make a lot of money right now, which is tough when it comes to being uninsured and working two jobs. But I also don’t spend that much money, which allows me to put money away each month. I know I need to start planning for the future and contributing to my student loan payment, but I also plan to get a full-time, entry-level job this year. When I focus on the plan, I don’t feel so anxious. When I overspend, however, it’s hard to remember that it’s normal and that I have a safety net (my savings and my family) to help me out.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
My mom still pays for our family phone bill and streaming services, but I do consider myself financially responsible. My college jobs gave me spending money while my scholarships and student loans took care of books, meals, and housing. I lived at home for a few months during the pandemic, but I moved to New York on my own and pay for everything myself. I do know that if I couldn’t afford to live here anymore or needed help, my mom would let me move home for free and would help me. I avoid those options like the plague.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
During college, my mom gave me $100 each month until I was able to support myself. She also set up my investment account years ago and regularly contributed money to it. Now, I may receive cash for birthdays or holidays.

Day One

8 a.m. — My boyfriend F.’s alarm prods me awake each time it goes off and I’m up. He slowly gets dressed for work and kisses me goodbye while I lay in bed scrolling through my phone. Regardless of what the news tells me, looking at my phone first thing in the morning really does help me wake up. I consider getting dressed to surprise F. with coffee at his job but decide against it. It’s too cold outside and my bed is too warm.

9 a.m. — After a nice start to the morning, I make some coffee, catch up on the news, and make a to-do list. I’m not working at my service job today, but I do have some freelance work for a new client. I put it off for a couple of hours under the guise of getting dressed and running errands, but by 11, I really need to get going.

12 p.m. — F. has a short workday and is back home, so he makes the two of us fried eggs with crispy cheese on a slice of bread. His breakfasts/lunches are probably what I look forward to most every day. I split some chocolate pretzels with him and get back to work.

2 p.m. — Take a quick break to text my brother, K., about what we’re getting our other brother, M., for his birthday. M. typically buys himself what he wants, so it’s tough to find him something he’ll like. Luckily he told me that he’s been eyeing a pair of Allbirds shoes, so K. and I decide to get him those. I buy them for $103.88, but K. will Venmo me for half ($51.94). I also plan to order M. a birthday cake that he can pick up from a bakery in his town, but hold off until I get a quote from the baker. $51.94

4 p.m. — I close my computer for the day and try not to bug F. while he does some coursework for job applications. We’re going to meet his brother for an early dinner at a nice Italian restaurant so I resist the urge to eat the leftover Ritzy Cheddar Chicken Breasts (New York Times, look it up) we made last night. Instead, I have an orange and make myself an iced coffee as I catch up on a blog I read (A Beautiful Mess) and chase payments on invoices I submitted earlier in the month.

5 p.m. — F. and I bundle up and walk an hour to the Italian restaurant through the park. It’s not as cold as it has been, so the walk is actually quite nice. We meet up with his brother and after a few minutes of struggling to find a photo of F. ‘s vaccination card, we eat dinner.

9 p.m. — Dinner is delicious. I get an Aperol spritz, beef ragu with pappardelle, and calamari and we split a lasagna. I don’t often get Italian food when I go out (I usually opt for Thai or Indian), but this really hit the spot on a cold night. F.’s brother gets the bill for us (sweet older brothers), and I get F. and myself an Uber home because the temperature has dropped significantly. $19.60

10 p.m. — F. and I catch up with our roommate, Y., about our night and hear about his work troubles (note to managers everywhere: communication. That’s it). I bake some cookie dough we have stashed in the freezer and pour us a glass of milk to go with it. We watch an episode of Westworld until I can’t keep my eyes open and go to sleep.

Daily Total: $71.54

Day Two

8 a.m. — I wake up and spend a few minutes staring at the ceiling feeling guilty for being in bed when I have work to do, but also trying to remember to enjoy my morning. When the guilt wins, I get up and make F. and myself some coffee before settling on the couch to read the news.

9 a.m. — F. wakes up and joins me on the couch to watch TikTok while I have a look at my planner. I’m leaving for an international trip next week and have to sell some furniture, finish packing, and make sure I have several papers printed and ready to go. Y. leaves his room to make coffee and catches us up on his busy morning, which I take as a signal to get to work.

12 p.m. — After doing some freelance work for a few hours, F. makes us breakfast and leaves for the gym while I decide it’s finally time to shower and get dressed for my shift later today. I work part-time as a sales associate in Manhattan, which supplements my freelance income. I long for the day I can work as a writer (full stop), but until then it’s really nice to have something else so I don’t feel anxious about paying bills.

2 p.m. — F. comes back from the gym and we work side by side for a while until he gets up to get dressed for his job. Both of us work service jobs to pay our bills while applying for other gigs to get out of service. For F., it’s a matter of figuring out what he wants to do and applying for several positions in tech that align with his experience. For me, it’s putting off starting my career until I get the chance to travel more freely and pad my writing portfolio. Great time to do that, though, isn’t it?

3:30 p.m. — F. and I leave for work at the same time and I kiss him at the front door to our apartment. I have to take the subway to Manhattan and swipe in ($2.75). I spend about $25/week on the subway and choose to walk when I can (I rarely pay for ride services). Sometimes I’ll buy a coffee and pastry before my shift to both satisfy my hunger and make me excited to go to work, but I’ve been watching my spending the past several months and have limited these purchases to morning shifts only. F. and I did a spending contest a few months ago to see who could spend the least money on non-necessities and I won (yay), but it did the job of making us both more conscious about focusing on the things we value instead of shallow purchases. $2.75

4 p.m. — Get to work and say hi to my friend, B. We chat for a few minutes about an ice skating date we have planned with a few other friends this weekend before I leave on my trip. I am planning on quarantining for a few days before my flight to minimize the risk of COVID-19, so this will be the last time I’ll see them for a while. B. leaves for the day and I get to work trying to find something to do at the store.

7 p.m. — Only three hours to go. I pull out the leftovers F. and I made a few nights before and eat while watching Sex Lives of College Girls on my phone. It’s my work show when there are no customers and I have limited things to do. I also remind myself to drink water and snack on an orange.

10 p.m. — Closing time! I say goodbye to the shop for a few months and wonder if I’ll ever work here again. It’s a great job in terms of providing a flexible schedule for my freelance work, but it can also be incredibly frustrating because of the owners and rude customers.

10:45 p.m. — Get home from the shop and meet F. in the bedroom. We talk about our days and watch a bit of Westworld while I finish some freelance work and send it off to my client. Lights out at midnight.

Daily Total: $2.75

Day Three

7 a.m. — I wake up feeling well-rested and decide to get a COVID-19 test before seeing my friends tonight. We’ll be going ice skating tonight and then some people are coming back to my place for game night. I’m pretty comfortable about having indoor things with my friends because we’re all vaccinated, but most of us work in service, and with Omicron, it can’t hurt. I kiss F. goodbye and walk to the testing site.

8 a.m. — After standing outside in line for a few minutes, I sign in and wait in the lobby. Despite working a few different jobs, I don’t have health insurance, but COVID-19 testing will still be free. I don’t get it through my mom and I thought about signing up for Obamacare, but since I’ll be out of the country for a few months it didn’t seem worth it just yet. Plus, the volunteer program I am doing abroad provides health insurance, so I’ll be covered there. After a few minutes, the nurse calls me back so I can get a rapid and a PCR test.

8:30 a.m. — Head back home to hang out with F. and plan my day. I have a few things to get done for my trip before ice skating tonight and want to plan a nice dinner for F. when he gets out of work. Then I get a phone call from the COVID-19 testing site. My rapid test came back positive and I am told to quarantine for the next five days. I am frustrated and upset, but also very grateful that I decided to get tested before exposing my friends. While F. calls out of work and leaves to get tested, I tell my service job, my roommate, and the friends I was supposed to see tonight about my positive result.

10 a.m. — F. gets back from getting tested and we brainstorm what I need to do. I’m stuck inside, but we have groceries and friends who are willing to help us out. Both F. and Y. test negative, which is great but it’s also just a matter of time before they test positive. While F. talks to his bosses about his result, I cancel the tickets I had to see Scream the next day ($31 onto a gift card for future viewings) and call my family.

1 p.m. — After a few hours, I’m starting to feel better about testing positive before my trip and not exposing too many people. I’m always masked up and didn’t see too many customers at the store the night before. I cancel my flight and inform the volunteer program that I won’t be able to travel for a few weeks until I recover, but everyone is very helpful. F. leaves to get us groceries and promises to make a delicious turkey chili.

4 p.m. — After realizing that I’m not going to get any freelance work done today, I spend a few hours reading my book, The Lying Life of Adults. It’s my first Ferrante, and I’m really sucked into it. The translation is so good that I wish I could read Italian to read the original. F. works on some coursework next to me and I think about how I will be stuck in this room all day for at least five days. I check the weather and see that it will be in the 20s over the weekend, and I think it’s probably not the worst time for me to get COVID-19 after all.

7 p.m. — Y. leaves the house so F. and I venture into the kitchen to make chili. I mask up and get dressed in comfy clothes before dinner. I decide to watch the new Suspiria because I want something freaky but not too scary. After watching it for a couple of hours (it’s long), we both agree that we liked it but didn’t get it. It definitely has some qualities that I enjoy (tension building, nice aesthetics), but the end is a weird letdown. I think I would have liked the original more.

12 a.m. — After talking with F. for a while, I lay down to sleep. He gets me some water from the kitchen, and I try to verbalize again how grateful I am that I don’t have symptoms and that I got COVID-19 after the holidays but before my trip. Around Christmas, everyone in New York was testing positive, but I managed to go home and visit my family without getting hit. It sucks that F. and I exposed to so many people for work, but it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Daily Total: $0

Day Four

6 a.m. — F. wakes up to go to work for the day. Since he’s tested negative, his bosses have told him to come to work but get tested every couple of days. He doesn’t have any symptoms. He kisses me goodbye and leaves for the day as I sleepily remind him to take the compost from the freezer.

9 a.m. — I wake up and lay in bed browsing TikTok. There’s no real reason for me to be up this early today, and I consider going back to bed for a bit. But unfortunately, once I’m up, I’m up. I go to the bathroom, make some coffee, and quickly retreat back to the bedroom. I work for a few hours on freelance stuff and message with the client about what they want for their website.

12:30 p.m. — My buzzer rings and a friend, O., messages to say she brought me something. I open the door and back down the hallway so she can throw me some Ben and Jerry’s. Ice cream over soup always, please. We’re both bummed that we didn’t get to say goodbye at the ice skating date, but I’m feeling very loved that she brought me a treat. After, I get back to work in my room.

4 p.m. — F. comes home and promptly warms up in the hot shower after the 12-degree day. He makes himself a chicken sandwich from leftovers and fills me in on his day. After, he does a little coursework and I keep reading my book.

6 p.m. — I’m feeling a little hungry but don’t want to overeat before date night. F. and I are going to watch Ratatouille and snack on wine and cheese (it’s the little things to keep quarantine bearable). I have some chili and clean up the room while he sets up the movie.

8 p.m. — The buzzer dings and surprise! My friend, R., has dropped off cookies, a travel planner for my postponed trip, some vitamins, and a little teacup. I thank her profusely over text and feel a lot of love for my friends who keep checking up on me. F. and I snack on some cookies and continue watching Ratatouille.

10 p.m. — Damn, that little rat sure knows how to make us feel. After crying with F. and planning some of the spots I want to visit in Paris, we throw on Adventure Time and go to sleep early.

Daily Total: $0

Day Five

9 a.m. — Happy Sunday. F. and I have crepes in bed and drink some delicious coffee. We chat for a few hours and watch TikTok before he decides to do some coursework (fine, I will also get some work done).

1 p.m. — After working for a few hours, I take a break to finish my book and craft a review for Goodreads. The Lying Life of Adults was charming and one of the most honest books I’ve read. Adults suck and the protagonist Giovanna is unflinching in her examination of them and herself. Can’t wait to read more Ferrante.

4 p.m. — I do some yoga on my mat and shower. The shower is necessary after sitting in the same pajamas for two days, and it wakes me up. F. and I take a break to chill for a bit and look through some restaurants we want to order from tonight. I’m getting us takeout as a treat and we have a plan to watch Euphoria. After settling on a new Indian restaurant with good reviews, F. showers and I waste time online. But is it really wasting time if you can’t do anything anyway?

7 p.m. — I order food from the restaurant’s website ($37.41) while F. puts his laptop away for the night. He’s really getting into his coursework and fills me in on everything he’s learning. My heart swells with love hearing him talk about stuff he’s excited about. Once the food arrives, we put on an episode of Westworld and eat. $37.41

9 p.m. — Well, dinner was… disappointing. The meat was overcooked and the curry was spice-less, if you can believe it. We chide ourselves for straying from our usual Indian place but eat the food anyway. We queue up Euphoria. This definitely wasn’t my high school experience, but I know this show is more realistic than people realize.

10 p.m. — F. and I put on Modern Family to fall asleep. It’s not that we can’t fall asleep without TV, but it’s nice to have on.

Daily Total: $37.41

Day Six

9 a.m. — Coffee and news with F. He goes to get tested again and I start reading a new book, Lemon. After an hour, his rapid test comes back negative and he’s cleared for work. Strange, strange, strange.

12 p.m. — I look at my monthly budget to add expenses. My goal for the past year has been to not feel guilty about spending money on things I enjoy (experiences, restaurants and quality grocery ingredients, books) and instead focus on cutting back on what I don’t value (new clothes, general clutter/stuff, getting sucked into skincare). I’ve done well and spend within my means so that I can still put money into savings each month, but my financial goals for 2022 include planning for the future. That means becoming knowledgeable about investing and starting a Roth IRA. I’ve decided to push those two goals to the second half of the year for when I return from my trip abroad, as half of my savings is what I set aside specifically for the trip. I know many people will say that I should start planning for the future immediately, but this is easier for me to organize. I use a spreadsheet I created on Google Sheets that auto-calculates my spending by category.

4 p.m. — After a while, F. gets up to get dressed for work and leaves me for the night. I debate finishing my freelance work and end up closing my laptop to do some yoga stretches and watch random TV.

6 p.m. — I hear Y. leave the apartment and venture out to make myself dinner. Tonight I’m doing leftover basmati rice with a baked cauliflower recipe that calls for a gochujang glaze. Everything takes longer than I thought, but the cauliflower turns out very crispy and yummy to liven up the leftover rice. After, I snack on cookies and plan out the groceries F. and I need for this week.

7 p.m. — I feel a little guilty for not finishing my freelance work, but I’m still ahead of the game and plan to do more tomorrow. I put on several episodes of Emily in Paris and mess around on my computer.

10 p.m. — After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I read some more of Lemon. It’s an English translation of a thriller that was published in South Korea and is full of tension and mystery. I like how different it is from other thrillers I’ve read and quickly move through it before F. gets home.

11 p.m. — F. is exhausted from work, so we put on Modern Family and head to bed. I fall asleep quickly — you’d be surprised how tiring it is sitting in bed all day.

Daily Total: $0

Day Seven

9 a.m. — I wake up just as F. is getting dressed to leave for work. We plan to eat leftovers and bake cookies tonight. After sifting through TikTok for a bit, I get up to make coffee, wash my face, and plan out my day. I have some more work to do, including figuring out how to get my last check from the store before I leave for my trip in a couple of weeks. I create a to-do list and start tackling my day.

11 a.m. — I message my client for a bit to figure out how to wrap up this month’s deliverables. I’ve done freelance before, but this is my first time being treated like a manager instead of an apprentice. The client asks for my opinion on graphics to go with my copy and I’m surprised by how much my opinion matters. Freelance is a bitch, and I don’t think I could do it forever, but I am really enjoying the respect I am receiving for my time and experience. Now if only I could get benefits…

3 p.m. — F. is coming home in an hour, and I want to clean the bedroom I’ve been living in for days so that it can be nice for him. I also need to shower and get out of my pajamas, but before I can get moving my brother, M., emails me a personal statement to copy-edit and I get sucked in. I also remember to order M.’s birthday cake for next week and call the bakery to pay ($42.52 with tip). I’ll text him about it that day so he can pick it up (if I didn’t order it, he probably wouldn’t do anything to celebrate his birthday). $42.52

4 p.m. — Finally finished with M.’s edits, I leave my cave, take a shower, and sweep the bedroom. F. comes home with a large iced coffee for me, which makes my heart swell. He tells me about his day and we both try not to feel guilty for taking the night off — there is always more work to do.

6 p.m. — After hanging out for a while, F. makes the two of us bowls of leftover turkey chili and catches up with Y. in the kitchen. F. comes back to the bedroom and we watch a few hours of Westworld (really into the last few episodes!!).

9 p.m. — We pause to make chocolate chocolate chip cookies (from, you guessed it, NYT Cooking) and use a bag of espresso morsels F. picked up from the store. This is probably a good time to mention that I typically pay for all of the groceries since F. gets dinner on nights that he works, and F. picks up the tab when we go out to eat. This week, F. took over the grocery shopping since I can’t leave the house. We don’t really keep track of who buys what because we think it tends to even out, but if it ever feels lopsided we’ll Venmo each other.

11 p.m. — After waiting for the dough to chill and then baking the cookies, we finally sample our cookies and wow…delicious.

12 a.m. — F. and I watch more Westworld while I track today’s expenses in my monthly budget. I recently got a second credit card for travel, which I plan to use exclusively once I rebook my trip abroad, so I reorganize my spreadsheet so I can track each account. So far, all of my expenses are on track, but I only have $50 left in my grocery budget for the month (I spend ~$200 on groceries each month ). I may go over since I like to cook at home, but I can always “borrow” money from my miscellaneous budget. I close my laptop and fall asleep.

Daily Total: $42.52

Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.

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A Week In Chicago, IL, On A $126,000 Salary

A Week In Los Angeles, CA, On A $110,000 Salary

A Week In San Bernardino, CA On A $79,000 Salary

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Refinery29, DMT.NEWS, DMT BeautySpot,

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: an advertising team lead who makes $200,000 per year and spends some of her money this week on Liquid IV.

Occupation: Team Lead
Industry: Digital Advertising
Age: 31
Location: San Francisco, CA
Salary: $200,000 ($140,000 base, $60,000 bonus paid out quarterly based on achievement to a team revenue goal.)
Net Worth: $254,638.36 ($139,852.52 in my Roth 401(k), $12,100.03 in my Roth IRA, $72,215 in an investment account (mutual funds), $21,400.47 in a savings/emergency fund, $8,490.25 in Qapital sinking funds (honeymoon, friend wedding travel/gifts, Christmas, dog medical expense fund), $580.09 in checking (I believe in “giving every dollar a job” and this is a pretty typical checking account balance for me).)
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/month + quarterly bonus): $2,817.51 + quarterly bonus (typically $10,000-$13,000 net)
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1,500 (My half of the two-bedroom apartment I share with my fiancé.)
401(k): $1,986
Medical FSA: $237.50
Health Insurance: $6 (My company covers most of my premium.)
Dental Insurance: $21.20
Cell Phone: $40 (I Venmo my parents for my portion of their family plan.)
Utilities: $25 (Split with fiancé.)
Internet: $27.89 (Split with fiancé.)
CSA: $60 (Split with fiancé.)
NYTimes: $14
Peloton: $19.50 (Split with fiancé.)
Spotify: $9.99
HBOMax: $7.49 (Split with fiancé, shared with his parents.)
Netflix: $0 (Fiancé’s parents’ login.)
Hulu: $6.49 (Split with fiancé.)
Disney+: $3.50 (Split with fiancé.)
Pandora Plus: $4.99
iCloud Storage: $0.99
Dog Food Subscription: $76.32 (Split with fiancé.)
Loveland Foundation Donation: $10
Other Donations: $200 (Mostly mutual aid.)
Savings: $500 (I typically save most of my bonus checks as well.)

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Absolutely — in my family it was non-negotiable that my brother and I would go to college. My parents fully paid for my tuition to get a BA at a liberal arts school, which I honestly took for granted at the time because we didn’t really have conversations around the cost of college. We never spoke about alternative options or how most people have to take out student loans. Once I graduated and had friends talk about their loans in the context of their salaries, I became aware of how insanely fortunate I am to have been gifted such a significant financial head start (and I’m still pretty ashamed of how sheltered I was as a teen/young adult).

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Not a lot, money was kind of a taboo topic in our household. The one finance fact that got seared into my brain from an early age was to never put more on credit cards than you can afford to pay off. Other than that, I didn’t get a lot of concrete financial advice until my mid 20s.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started babysitting for neighborhood kids when I was 14 and babysat/nannied through high school and college for spending/gas money. I also worked at a retail store during the summer in college (RIP Limited Too).

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not at all. My parents didn’t talk about their finances around us, and while we weren’t spoiled, we didn’t want for anything. My dad owned a small business for most of his career and I recently learned that he went without a paycheck for a couple years when I was a preteen to help keep the business afloat during a particularly rocky period. I also recently learned that my mom has always out-earned my dad.

Do you worry about money now?
I do; I have anxiety and a tendency to catastrophize, so even though I am objectively quite financially stable, I worry about what would happen if, say, I lost my job and simultaneously had a medical emergency. I have also only become truly financially stable since I got my current job three years ago, which nearly tripled my salary. Prior to that my net worth was probably closer to $35,000. Because my industry can be quite volatile, I also worry about getting laid off (which I have been in the past) and not being able to find a new job in the same income bracket. I also have been raised to believe that owning a home is the truest measure of financial security and I will likely have to move if I ever want to afford property.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At 21, I became responsible for my rent and living expenses. At 26, I became responsible for my own healthcare and finally started paying for my own phone. I have safety nets in my fiancé (who makes 25% less than I do and basically covered expenses besides rent after I got laid off a few years ago), my parents, and my fiancé’s parents. I will never be homeless and this helps me sleep at night.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Besides my college tuition, my parents gave me $30,000 following the sale of my dad’s business a few years ago. I paid my credit card balance that month and added the rest to an investment account.

Day One

8:30 a.m. — It’s the first day of a three-day weekend for me, woo! I roll out of bed, walk and feed my dog S., and make a pot of half-caf coffee (I switched to mostly to decaf when I started on antidepressants in early 2021, so now half-caf feels like a weekend treat and full caf feels illegal). I also make some peanut butter toast with honey. I’m in the early stages of marathon training and have a 10-miler on the docket for today; I dawdle for a bit and head out around 10:30.

12:30 p.m. — Home from my run and once I stretch and shower, I am starving. Today is grocery shopping day and it’s slim pickings in the fridge, so I order a Sweetgreen bowl with chicken, wild rice, arugula, cilantro, carrots, almonds, and miso-ginger dressing. $24.58

3 p.m. — I’m on the couch watching The Sweetest Thing (an early 2000s rom com that *mostly* holds up despite the all-white cast) and I go on a bit of a running-related shopping spree. I buy compression socks ($44), a ton of Liquid IV ($30 after splitting with my fiancé, T., because we also use it for hiking and hangovers), a pair of Superfeet orthotics ($58.63), two pairs of Hoka shoes ($228.10), a Nutribullet Pro ($83.09), and Vital Proteins vanilla protein powder ($33.65). I save $50 total by shopping around/using discount codes and also get $11 cash-back through Rakuten. I’m hungry after all my shopping and eat some chips and salsa. $477.47

4:30 p.m. — I consider taking a nap instead of going grocery shopping but I think about future me and drag myself to Trader Joe’s. I buy a bunch of herbs, raspberries, butter lettuce, lemons, ginger, cherry tomatoes, leeks, onions, shallots, milk, eggs, yogurt, a whole chicken, lamb steaks, bacon, challah, bananas, eggs, butter, milk, almond milk, frozen berries, granola, brown sugar, decaf coffee, chia seeds, canned chickpeas, beef jerky, toilet paper, paper towels, seltzer, and fresh flowers. The total is $149; I add it to our Splitwise tally (T. and I use Splitwise for all shared expenses besides rent, and have a rule that if one of us owes the other more than $500 we have to cash out). While I’m at Trader Joe’s, T. goes to Walgreens and buys me a huge bag of Epsom salts for post-run baths ($19). $93.50

7 p.m. — T. and I take an Uber to meet up with a friend for sushi ($12, split with T.). (Obligatory COVID disclaimer: myself, T., and everyone we hang out with are vaxxed, boosted, and wear masks indoors. Due to Omicron, we are currently outdoor dining only and limiting our indoor activities with friends.) We share edamame and I get green tea and a set that comes with miso soup, salad, rice, and shrimp and veggie tempura (my share is $35). We walk to my friend’s apartment nearby and play video games for a couple of hours before ubering home ($11, split with T.). $46.50

Daily Total: $642.05

Day Two

9 a.m. — Wake up, walk/feed S. I am so happy with past me for going grocery shopping so current me can cook a delicious breakfast. I make challah French toast with raspberries, bacon, and half-caf coffee. T. does the dishes (in our house whoever doesn’t cook, cleans up).

12 p.m. — After reading for a couple hours (Padma Lakshmi’s Love, Loss, and What We Ate) and helping T. fold laundry, I walk S. to the dog park while listening to Maintenance Phase. Like many millennial women, I am unlearning decades of internalized fatphobia, disordered eating, and diet culture BS, and this podcast is a breath of fresh air — funny and well-researched while absolutely skewering our society’s obsession with “wellness” and policing others’ bodies. I get home and eat an apple and a few slices of sharp cheddar.

2 p.m. — My project for today is taking inventory of my shoes. I toss several pairs that are beyond repair and post a few better-quality pairs on Poshmark. It’s my first time buying or selling on Poshmark and I’m not sure if it’s worth the effort, but I’ll give it a shot. If I don’t get any bites within a few weeks, I’ll donate them. I hope this staves off some of the “you have too many shoes” comments from T., whose shoe-buying strategy is to buy one pair of shoes, wear them until they have holes in the soles, and repeat.

6 p.m. — T. and I walk to meet up with a couple of friends for an al fresco dinner at an Italian place down the street from us (the best part about living in SF is that winters are fake and you can still somewhat maintain a social life even in a pandemic). We split a couple of apps and a salad and I have spaghetti with clams, plus a couple of pomegranate-rosemary-lemon sodas. I’m taking this month off of drinking and I’m stoked that this place has good mocktails, served in a fancy glass with a garnish to boot. The others each have two Negronis. I think my portion of the bill might be subsidizing their booze, but I don’t care enough to make a fuss. $65

8:30 p.m. — I float the idea of getting ice cream, and we decide stop at Salt & Straw on the way home. I get a split scoop of salted, malted cookie dough (puts Ben & Jerry’s to shame, as it should at double the price) and snickerdoodle with whipped cream and sprinkles, plus another pint of cookie dough to take home. I tip 30% (slightly ridiculous tipping has become a habit during COVID, partially because service workers deserve it full stop, and partially because I feel guilty about going out during a pandemic) and this is how I end up spending almost $25 on ice cream. $24

Daily Total: $89

Day Three

8 a.m. — Wake up, walk/feed S., make coffee, eat leftover French toast. We get everything together to go for a hike and T. drives us to the trailhead. He owned his car before we started dating; I don’t contribute financially to it at all except for when he remembers to charge me for gas. It’s also a manual which I can’t drive, so it truly is his alone.

3 p.m. — We finish up hiking (a new-to-us trail that starts up on a ridge with ocean views and winds down into the woods, I am a nature girl and freaking love living here) and grab lunch at a restaurant close to the trailhead. I have a burger and an Arnold Palmer. $30.23

4:30 p.m. — Once we’re back home, I shower and do my nighttime skincare routine: Renee Rouleau Purifying Face Wash, Kiehl’s calendula toner, Skinbetter Science AlphaRet retinol cream, and Renee Rouleau Skin Recovery Lotion. I have super sensitive acne-prone skin and have wasted so much money and mental energy trying different skincare products over the years. Once I got vaxxed, I started getting facials every six to eight weeks and my facialist (saying that makes me feel so bougie) has helped me build out a routine that actually works for my skin and my lifestyle, which is such a relief.

7:30 p.m. — I make one of my favorite dinners: roast chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes from our CSA, salad with CSA radishes, and homemade green goddess dressing. T. does the dishes and I settle in with the NYT crossword, some reading, and an early bedtime.

Daily Total: $30.23

Day Four

6 a.m. — I drag myself out of bed to eat a banana and go for a run. I am not a morning person (or a night person… I just really love sleep), but I am a stickler for following my training plan. I canceled my gym membership early on in COVID and the only time I miss treadmill access is during the mile or so before it’s light enough to really see. My mood substantially improves once the sun comes up and I catch my first Golden Gate Bridge/SF Bay views. I’ve lived here for five years and it never gets old.

8 a.m. — Home from my run. I walk/feed S., stretch, take a quick shower, do my skincare, and scarf down some Trader Joe’s almond butter granola with milk before logging in to work. I got promoted into a management position a few months ago and so far the biggest change is the number of meetings — I’m booked solid from 9 to 4 today which is not my ideal welcome back from a long weekend.

11:15 a.m. — One of my meetings ends early and I seize the opportunity to eat a quick lunch — potato leek soup from the freezer. T. Gchats me (we have both worked from home since March 2020 but occasionally our laziness knows no bounds) to let me know he booked us an Airbnb for an upcoming long weekend in wine country; he charges me on Splitwise for my half. $306.22

3 p.m. — Thank the Lord and hallelujah, another meeting ends early and I have a full 30 minutes to myself. The runger (hunger following a run) is in full force especially after my early lunch, so I scarf down (lots of scarfing today) a banana with peanut butter and a few chocolate chips while catching up on some work. I also order my four free COVID tests — thanks Joe.

5 p.m. — S. is going crazy so I take her for her afternoon walk and finish up an episode of Maintenance Phase. The sunset is amazing — the one good thing about this time of year is getting to see all sorts of sunrises/sunsets. Get back home, eat another snack of a beef jerky stick and a couple of mandarin oranges from the CSA, and finish up some work.

7 p.m. — I start dinner — extremely inauthentic bibimbap with ginger-garlic beef, stir-fried bok choy, raw radishes from the CSA, kimchi, fried eggs, chili-garlic sauce, and TJ’s frozen brown rice. I love to cook and I’m good at it, but for some reason, I have a mental block around plain-ass rice and thus refuse to make it from scratch. Three-minute microwave rice is where it’s at.

10 p.m. — NYT crossword (my friends and I are really competitive over the Mini leaderboard), ice cream, a few episodes of Last Man on Earth (silly, dark, and slept on!), skincare, and bed.

Daily Total: $306.22

Day Five

8 a.m. — I wake up and scroll on my phone for a few minutes before I’m ready to get out of bed. I see that I got my first Poshmark offer! After shipping and fees, I’ll make $40 — not too shabby. I get up and put on a Beyond Yoga Spacedye set (leggings and a cropped tank top) and a sweatshirt. I love these sets so much and bought a few on sale last year after finally accepting that I’ll be living in athleisure for the foreseeable future.

9 a.m. — Walk/feed S., decaf coffee, TJ’s peanut butter protein granola/banana/milk, log on to work. My day starts off with an interview (one of eight this week — my company is no stranger to the Great Resignation). I’m usually very decisive about candidates but I’m waffling on this one… Since we have so many open roles right now I’ll move her to the next round and see how she does.

12 p.m. — I heat up some leftover chicken, gravy, and mashed potatoes with a side of cut-up radishes for lunch before walking to the post office with S. to drop off my Poshmark package. I’m feeling anxious for no discernable reason even though I’ve been making a real effort recently to do all the right things — not drinking, limiting caffeine, getting enough sleep and water, exercising, spending time outdoors/with people, eating well, therapy twice a month, Zoloft. Reflecting on all of this has me annoyed in addition to anxious. A walk in the sunshine helps a little, as does interviewing an unequivocally strong candidate and knocking out some work.

4 p.m. — My Nutribullet arrives! My mom made me a lot of smoothies over the holidays and I’ve been thinking about this purchase ever since. I throw together a smoothie with frozen berries, protein powder, half a banana, almond butter, almond milk, chia seeds, cinnamon, and salt. It’s okay — I will have to tweak the recipe a bit, but the blender does its job. Now back to work.

7 p.m. — Done with work, yay! If I’m honest it’s usually the source of my anxiety even when there’s nothing concrete to worry about — the imposter syndrome is real. I put Sunday’s chicken carcass in the Instant Pot with onion, garlic, celery, carrots, bay leaf, salt, and water for stock. IP stock is my favorite life hack — takes an hour, 100x better than store-bought, and free with the purchase of a chicken. I also portion out smoothie ingredients to freeze and set out my running stuff since I have another early run tomorrow. T. is done with his turn on the Peloton at this point so I hop on.

8:30 p.m. — New PR on the Peloton (501 in 45 minutes) and I am dead. Maybe not the smartest move since I have a fairly demanding run in like 10 hours but hey, you’re supposed to push yourself during training, right? We got the Peloton on a Black Friday deal last year as our Christmas/five-year anniversary present to each other and I’m loving it so far. Peloton: good, new PR: good, continuing to sweat 30 minutes after showering… not my fave. I sit down to dinner and basically get into bed right after.

Daily Total: $0

Day Six

5:30 a.m. — Rise and shine, it’s butt-whipping time! I get dressed, do my morning ablutions, have a Liquid IV and peanut butter toast with honey, do some pre-run warmup exercises, and am out the door by 6:45 (yes, I move very slowly in the morning).

8:30 a.m. — Back from my run and it was a doozy — eight miles at race pace. I am excited to see some training gains though — I did the same run 10 seconds per mile slower two weeks ago, plus today I only felt like death for the last three miles, whereas last time I had to talk myself out of quitting pretty much the entire time. Only one more big run before I start tapering down for my half marathon race in a couple of weeks! It’s easier to focus on that than the full picture of marathon training. Baby steps.

9:30 a.m. — S. gets walked/fed, then I stretch, shower, (half)caffeinate, smoothie, and log onto work. I see that there’s an opening for a manager position on another team and I decide to throw my hat in the ring. It’s probably unlikely since I just got promoted in August, but it’s worth a shot, and I like the idea of stretching myself without being too invested in the outcome. I’m recovering from a serious case of burnout (a combo of pandemic-related mental health decline and being so done with my previous role), so feeling excited about something work-related is a massive win.

1:30 p.m. — Done with meetings for the day! Having most of the afternoon free to actually do work feels like a special treat (and saying that makes me feel… pathetic). But first, lunch. I make soup with some of the chicken broth from yesterday, orzo, napa cabbage from the CSA, and stir in a beaten egg mixed with parmesan at the end. I make a version of this for lunch at least twice a week — broth + greens + grains + egg/parm.

5 p.m. — After spending the rest of the afternoon working on year-end reviews for my direct reports plus some other odds and ends, I log off and take S. for a walk. Once we get back, I start in on making Thomas Keller’s butternut squash soup while sipping a Health-Ade grape kombucha.

7:30 p.m. — We eat the soup with a brown butter drizzle and a side of toast and raw veggies with leftover green goddess dressing. I hang on the couch with my crossword while T. cleans up, then we watch Last Man On Earth until bedtime around 10:45.

Daily Total: $0

Day Seven

7 a.m. — I set my alarm with the intention of working out and I just do not feel like it this morning. I play Wordle and Spelling Bee and answer a few texts in bed before getting up around 7:30. I put on a red Beyond Yoga set and a charcoal crew neck sweatshirt (it looks fine on Zoom but I have basically given up trying to look cute at work at this point). Walk/feed S., then I make decaf and a smoothie and log onto work at 8:30.

9 a.m. — First of three interviews today and it was quite something. At the end of the interview (which already didn’t go very well), the candidate commented about our company having a female CEO, and then said that it was inspiring to see all women on the interview panel. Inspiring that women… have jobs?? Are allowed to make hiring decisions?? Unclear, he did not elaborate further. Thankfully my Zoom poker face is well-developed at this point.

12:30 p.m. — I have a video session with my therapist. We spend most of the time talking about my anxiety around eventually having to tell my parents that I don’t want kids (the walls are closing in now that I’m getting married), and it’s very validating. After therapy, I heat up some leftover butternut squash soup over brown rice and eat way too fast before my next meeting.

4:30 p.m. — I log off a little early so I can take S. for a longer walk to the dog park before it gets dark. When we get home I decide to use my at-home hot yoga studio (aka my living room with a candlelit and the heat on) for a 30-minute Alo Yoga Pilates class (paid one lump sum for the app on a 50% off promo last year — it was $99).

7 p.m. — T. is out of town tonight so I indulge in a solo night in of eating and watching exactly what I want. I order a Caesar salad, chicken parmesan with ziti, and tiramisu. There’s a 30% off deal with a $40 minimum so I add saffron arancini ($12) which takes $14 off the bill. I watch Little Women (1994) for the first time. I’m zonked from the week so after finishing the movie and taking S. for her last walk of the night, I pass out at 9:30. Wild Friday night! $45.80

Daily Total: $45.80

Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more money diaries, click here.

Do you have a Money Diary you’d like to share? Submit it with us here.

Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here or email us here.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

A Week In Chicago, IL, On A $126,000 Salary

A Week In Los Angeles, CA, On A $110,000 Salary

A Week In San Bernardino, CA On A $79,000 Salary

DMTBeautySpot

via https://dmtbeautyspot.com

Refinery29, DMT.NEWS, DMT BeautySpot,