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No one can wait any longer for the holidays to arrive!

The spirit has begun and the SALES have too.

Here are a few to keep on your radar this week and into the weekend.

HAPPY SHOPPING!

Net-A-Porter

Up to 50% off + an extra 15% off marked items

Violet Grey

20% off the best in beauty. This week only!

Nordstrom

Up to 50% off through December 1st.

Moda Operandi

30% off though the end of the week with code TAKE30.

Ralph Lauren

Up to 40% off sale items.

J.Crew

50% off purchase for rewards members with code EARLY. 40% off for everyone else with code WHYWAIT.

Anthopologie

Extra 30% off all sale items for a limited time.

Mango

Up to 50% off through 11/29.

H&M

30% off everything for members.

12|12

25% off all orders with code BF25. Their only sale of the year!

Amber Interiors

20% off entire site.

Tory Burch

30% off full-price items and 60% off sale items when you spend $250+. Use the code THANKS.

Shopbop

New sales every day!

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I’ve always liked the way Andreas Larsson at Berg & Berg designs - and styles - the clothes for the brand.  In particular, I think his approach to casual chic (I’m sticking with that term) is impressive: he consistently demonstrates effectiv... > Read more

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On Monday, Game of Thrones star and Louis Vuitton ambassador Sophie Turner took to Instagram stories to show off the contents of an unboxing: a pair of quilted boots courtesy of the luxury fashion brand. “These are killerrrr,” she wrote, tagging Louis Vuitton in a photo of her feet wrapped up in the slipper-like booties. The Queen in the North didn’t wait long to take them for a spin. That same day, Turner was photographed on a walk in Los Angeles, with husband Joe Jonas and the couple’s four-month-old daughter Willa, wearing the pair with one of fall’s most sought-after outerwear trends: a leather blazer. 

For the occasion, Turner styled the Mango leather blazer with a matching black turtleneck and leggings — a uniform we will now be recreating in lockdown. She topped off the look with a camouflage face mask. 

This isn’t the first time Turner’s showed off an off-duty look we could copy. When she’s not walking red carpets at the Met Gala, the Emmys, and the Golden Globes, the actress is prone to recycling graphic T-shirts and wearing socks with sandals, another one of our uniforms as of late. Turner has long worn other pandemic-induced fashion trends like matching sweatsuits and leggings with hoodies, too, making her the celebrity to watch for low-key chic style inspiration.

The leather blazer has been on the up-and-up for quite some time now, after having been spotted on the likes of Katie Holmes, Kendall Jenner, Hailey Bieber, Bella Hadid, and Rihanna. But, unlike those that came before her, Turner’s take on the fall outerwear trend is more relatable for people spending most of their days on the sofa. (Guilty.) While I won’t be wearing a leather blazer sans pants with knee-high boots à la Bieber anytime soon, I will now be throwing a leather blazer over my at-home leggings for a mid-day coffee run in an effort to look more presentable to the barista. (Sadly, I don’t have the incredible Louis Vuitton boots, but I do have a pair of cloud-like Hästens slippers if I really wanted to commit to the whole look.)

Unfortunately for us, her actual Mango blazer is currently sold out. That said, here are five just like it that’ll have you copying Turner’s look all season long.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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Early on in Hulu’s newly released film Run, it becomes clear that Diane (played by Sarah Paulson) is intentionally making her child (played by Kiera Allen) ill. She feeds her muscle relaxers meant for a dog and other unknown pills, keeping her imprisoned in their house with limited access to the outside world. While it’s never explicitly stated, it’s apparent that Diane has Munchausen syndrome by proxy, making Run just one more in a long list of movies and TV shows that have turned the mental illness into a plotline in the last several years. The condition featured prominently in The Act; It; Phantom Thread; Everything, Everything; and Sharp Objects as well. But the condition is neither new or exceedingly common. So what’s driving the current pop culture fascination?

Munchausen syndrome by proxy — which is now known as Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another (FDIA), according to the DSM-5 — was first named in 1977. It occurs when a caregiver (97% of the time, the mother) feigns, exaggerates, or induces illness in a child in order to gain some kind of emotional satisfaction. “It’s sometimes called medical child abuse, which is more descriptive and really explains what it is,” says Marc D. Feldman, MD, the author of Dying To Be Ill: True Stories Of Medical Deception. “It’s a serious form of abuse and it may be the most lethal form of abuse.” There are an estimated 600 to 1,200 cases in the United States each year, and six to nine percent are fatal.

In 2015, the story of Gypsy Rose Blanchard and her mother Dee Dee caught the nation’s attention. Dee Dee had a severe case of FDIA, and Gypsy Rose conspired to kill her mother as a result of the abuse, then was imprisoned for the crime. This was an unusual case, and indisputably fascinating: Dr. Feldman said it’s the only instance he’s heard of where the victim had the perpetrator murdered. There were news articles about the case, then a Netflix documentary. Finally, came the fictionalized account in the shape of Hulu series The Act. 

This fictionalization of disturbing news events is part of a relatively common cycle: For instance, the 2015 thriller Room was inspired by the stories of Josef Fritzl and Ariel Castro, both of whom kidnapped women and kept them imprisoned for years in hidden areas in the men’s homes. The Law and Order franchise regularly bases its episodes on recent news stories. These tales scratch the same itch as true crime podcasts and shows: While we may feel conflicted about our interest in these topics, they allow us to process our feelings about the stories, and think through how we’d act in that situation, says Sarah Walden, PhD, a professor at Baylor University who specializes in women’s rhetoric and motherhood.

Stories about women harming their children, such as Casey Anthony or Andrea Yates, who both murdered their children, tend to receive outsized amounts of media coverage, Dr. Walden says. This fascination with “killer moms” may reveal a tension that exists around how motherhood, and to a larger degree, women, are viewed in society today, says Elizabeth Podnieks, PhD, a professor of English at Ryerson University in Toronto who specializes in motherhood studies. Throughout history, pressure has been placed on mothers to be perfect, nurturing, and self-sacrificing, and coverage of conditions like FDIA radically dismantles that idealized view of maternity, a juxtaposition that people find naturally fascinating, Dr. Podnieks says. 

“There’s a relief there for women to see a sort of breakdown of this ideal,” Dr. Podnieks says. “There’s something liberating, metaphorically, to say, ‘What would happen if I didn’t fulfill these dictates of idealized maternity? It’s a liberation of these myths of the idealized woman.” She notes that it’s similar to watching any kind of horror film: “After you watch one of these movies, from a mother’s perspective, you can say, ‘Wow I went to the darkest place, and now I’ve come back, and I see my own mothering in context — I’m not that bad of a mother’.” She calls it a kind of “psychic release.” 

On the other hand, the continuous coverage of a rare mental illness can be read as being reflective of “society’s and culture’s ongoing backlash against women and their power, which is denigrating to women and offensive, frankly,” Dr. Podnieks adds. 

Setting aside the Blanchard story, it’s no coincidence that FDIA portrayals became more common in the last four years, according to Dr. Walden. “We’ve had this huge conservative turn in the past four years in regard to discussions of women, openly misogynistic language, and a patriarchy that’s explicit instead of implicit,” Dr. Walden says. “I think this idea of fearing women and fearing what women might do in a care taking role is probably largely a result of our political context.”

Power is often associated with our culture’s stereotype of the masculine ideal. Painting women as destructive or dangerous when they’re in positions of power — even if these movies show them having power over just one person, their child — directly plays into our society viewing powerful women as negative. 

“To me, it’s another backlash against maternal power and feminist power that we see with more women in positions of power and the rise of right-wing groups and so on,” Dr. Podnieks elaborates. “[There’s] this need to punish women who have power to make them see abhorrent and monstrous for being unfeminine, and so the mother becomes the perfect target. Her power is being seen as an evil, destructive force.”

That said, Dr. Feldman believes that there’s at least one positive outcome of pop culture’s current fascination with FDIA: increased awareness. Dr. Feldman has been studying these medical abuse cases for almost 30 years, and he’s always surprised by how ominous they can be. “They take my breath away with the deviousness and potential seriousness,” he says. “Death is not a terribly uncommon outcome and I think these TV shows, whether it’s true crime or fictional, have by and large accurately depicted the severity by Munchausen by proxy abuse.”

For those concerned that pop culture depictions of the mental illness may prompt copycats, Dr. Feldman says, “Perpetrators have never needed any instructions. They are very enterprising and creative when it comes to sickening their children or pets.” He says that his first book, Patient or Pretender: Inside the Strange World of Factitious Disorders, was criticized by some professionals who feared that he had provided an ‘instruction manual.'” That’s not the case, Dr. Feldman says — in the many years since, he hasn’t learned of a single instance in which the patient or perpetrator misused any of his books as a “how-to” guide.

As of now, however, the causes and triggers for FDIA aren’t well understood. Although these cases are rare, Dr. Feldman says that our exposure to them via pop culture could help accelerate research on how to treat the disorder in the future. For now, he says that The American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children is a good resource. “The more it’s highlighted, the more likely it is to be recognized as a public health crisis,” he says. “We don’t know how to really treat the perpetrators. Judges still have never heard of it so they don’t take it seriously. Police departments and child protective services know little to nothing about it.” More awareness means children in the care of someone with FDIA may get help sooner, Dr. Feldman notes. “Any way to educate the public is a good thing.”

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Supporting Black-owned businesses shouldn't be a well-meaning thought that begins and ends with a black square and a clever caption posted via Instagram. It should be sustained year-round, and we're hoping to make that fun and easy this holiday season. Now that the shopping portion of the festivities has begun, it's time to scratch off the plethora of names on your list with a unique gift from a Black-owned Etsy shop.

Don't worry: we did the heavy gifting for you. Ahead, put your money where your mouth is and indulge in a roundup of totally presentable (we're on a roll!) items ranging from soy candle sets to delicious cookies and inspirational wall art — all from a curated variety of Etsy makers that are setting out to make gifts personal again.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. All product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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Ah, Thanksgiving. For many, the day is a time for joy, merriment, and amazing food — but for others, it’s a source of stress and anxiety, thanks to family drama around the dinner table. Maybe you have a strained relationship with a family member, or maybe the election is making things feel especially toxic this year in particular. Either way, the last thing you want is for a relaxing day off work to turn into an incredibly stressful situation you have to manage — even if it’s over a Covid-safe Zoom call.

You can’t control other people’s actions, but there are some things you can do to protect your own mental health from any tension that might crop up over Thanksgiving. Think of the following expert-backed strategies as your unofficial Thanksgiving 2020 Survival Guide.

Know your own triggers.

Before the holiday, take a few minutes to nail down what exactly tends to set you off at a family gathering. Does your temper tend to flare when your aunt Mary asks why you’re still single, for instance? Or when the talk turns political? Knowing your triggers allows you to make a loose plan for how you’ll handle them when they crop up.

It also helps you avoid inadvertently bringing up something that’s actually a sensitive topic for you. “Don’t invite people into part of your life in a conversation if that’s not an area where you want them to go,” Moraya Seeger DeGeare, licensed marriage and family therapist and the co-owner of BFF Therapy in Beacon, NY, tells Refinery29. In other words, don’t tell Aunt Mary about your last crappy date if your goal is to avoid the “still single?” question.

Come prepared with conversation topics.

One of the best ways to steer a conversation is to change topics. So come prepared: Have a handful of neutral conversation starters in your back pocket to pull out when tensions start creeping up. “You could have a conversation about the silver linings of the pandemic,” suggests Kristen Harrington, a marriage and family therapist located in Kingston, NY.

Bring up Zoom — do people love it or hate it? Your favorite old holiday movies. Whether your old English teacher is still working at the high school. Whether it’s really necessary to separate colors when you wash clothes. What your favorite Thanksgiving dish is. Then when your Aunt Mary asks when you’re finally getting married, you can simply say, “Oh you’re so funny. Have you been watching anything good on Netflix during quarantine?” A no-fail solution: “Ask them about themselves,” Harrington says. “Then they may forget to be nasty.”

Let yourself take breaks.

If you’re only home for a few days and you don’t see your family often, it can be tempting to try to spend every spare minute with them. But DeGeare says there’s nothing wrong with going for a quick walk or scheduling a time to chill alone. If you feel guilty, remind yourself that taking time away is actually the most loving thing you can do, because it makes the time you are spending with your family better.

“A lot of times, especially around holidays, people get stuck in the house and then they get caught up in childhood cycles,” DeGeare explains. “So do whatever you can to step out of that normal cycle you get stuck in when you go home.” That means regularly stepping away to re-ground yourself. I’m even a fan of the extra-long bathroom break in really dire moments.

Forgive yourself for losing your cool.

In a year as tumultuous as 2020, a triggering subject is bound to come up during your holiday gathering. Go in with the intention to just have a good time, which might mean letting your family’s rude comments slide. “Having a screaming match with someone about why they shouldn’t have voted for Trump isn’t going to do anything,” DeGeare says. “No one’s changing their vote, and it’s not going to change their opinion on these topics that are really important.” Getting worked up about it will get you nowhere — but still, if it happens, let yourself off the hook if you lose your cool. 2020 has been stressful, and holiday stress on top of that isn’t an ideal combination for anyone.

But, she says that if you know that at some point there’s a chance you’re going to have a conversation about current events, think about what the message is you really want to get across and practice that in advance. “Having a plan in terms of how you’d like to respond to these kinds of things really can give you a leg up on the situation,” she says.

And remember — in the end, you can’t choose your family members. But you can choose how you cope with them and the steps you can take to protect your own mental health.

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