You know how sometimes, you’re dating someone but you’re not dating someone? Sure, you go on dates, you keep a toothbrush at their apartment, you co-habited during a global pandemic — but be warned: In 2021, these things do not a relationship make.
In our current dating landscape, nobody’s your romantic partner until you say they are, goddamn it. In between a first encounter and a full-blown capital R Relationship, there are any number of other buckets you might find yourself in. And if you’re having trouble determining what in the Sam Hill is going on between you and your whatever-they-are, odds are you're in A Situationship.
Broadly speaking, a situationship is — shockingly enough — a situational relationship. You have not yet DTR-ed (Defined The Relationship), but something is happening. With that said, the dipping-your-toes stage of intimacy doesn't exactly lend itself well to the holiday season. Do you introduce this person to your visiting family members? Are you supposed to spend New Year's together? And what on earth are you supposed to gift them?!
Well, we can’t answer even a single one of your lingering questions about the nature of your not-quite-counterpart, but on the gifting front, we can offer our services. 'Tis the season for showing love (or the potential for love) with treats, trinkets, and acts of kindness. And you need not gift your person a sports car just to show them that you care. That's why we partnered with Target to help you navigate the joyful, awkward nuances of holiday gifting when you're dating someone new. Ahead, shop the absolute best, appropriately non-committal (but still affectionate!) gifts on the market.
If your particular partner-adjacent figure is in possession of an Xbox, it’s hard to imagine a more convenient gift than an Elite Series wireless controller. It’s practical, it’s recreational, and it carries no emotional weight. Plus, you, too, can use it for gaming purposes (it’s a gift for them; it’s a gift for you).
Xbox Elite Wireless Controller Series 2, $, available at Target
When you’re not exactly sure where you stand with someone else, an activity-oriented gift is always a safe bet. Not only can you can enjoy it together, but it’s a good way of sussing out some important info: Are they competitive? Short in attention span? Do they cheat??
If these are questions you can't answer just yet, fear not: A game like Throw Throw Avocado — which describes itself as “the world’s first ever dodgeball card game” — will surely cover all your bases.
Exploding Kittens Throw Throw Avocado Game, $, available at Target
Speaking of activities, everyone knows that gingerbread house building is a hella cute, romantic holiday pastime. So this time around, make things a little sexy and opt for a full-on mansion instead of the regular ol' cottage model.
Wondershop Holiday Mansion Gingerbread Kit, $, available at Target
Assuming you don’t feel like actual, tangible photographs (as opposed to the less tactile, iPhone variety) are too emotionally binding, an Instax camera like this one is a great way to make your relationship feel a little more like a real-life Pinterest board.
Fujifilm Instax Mini 40 Camera, $, available at Target
If you’ve yet to delve into all the fun psychological nuances of, say, attachment theory or love language diagnoses, then do we have the card game for you. We’re Not Really Strangers offers a full deck of carefully curated questions designed to help you get to know someone better, all of which are conveniently categorized into three separate levels of intimacy — so you can go as vulnerable as you like.
We're Not Really Strangers Game, $, available at Target
Bring a bit of nostalgic charm into your shared holiday experience with this LEGO Harry Potter Wizard's chess set. Not only will it allow you to pass romantic winter afternoons sharing rousing games of chess, but you can also use the whole Harry Potter shtick as a litmus test for whether or not said individual is worth your time in the first place (we’re pro Potter, to be clear).
LEGO Harry Potter Hogwarts Wizard’s Chess Building Kit, $, available at Target
Few things are more revelatory about a person than their approach to a serious game of Settlers of Catan. Are they trusting? Wildly competitive? Strategic and resourceful? Good in a crisis?
Catan Studio Settlers of Catan Board Game, $, available at Target
For when you’re truly stumped on the gift-giving front: a pair of throw-on furry slippers. Mid-winter, everyone could use an extra pair of slippers. So let your special someone know that their foot warmth is a top-priority concern for you.
Stars Above Women's Paris Crossband Fur Slippers, $, available at Target
When in doubt, go for novelty. A jokey gift — like, say, socks stamped in a gorgeous gnome-forward print — will make someone feel considered, without added pressure.
Wondershop Men's Gnome Cozy Crew Socks with Giftcard Holder, $, available at Target
For sultry holiday movie viewing! Or not! Either way, adding one more layer of warmth — in the form of a chic (but neutral) throw blanket — will certainly go over well with your Designated Person. Or, at least with their roommates.
Threshold Snow Leopard Long Faux Fur Throw Blanket Neutral, $, available at Target
Plenty of early-stage romantic banter is all about learning each other’s cultural touchpoints. Are you big on literature references? Can you recite important, intimate details about each of the Kardashians? Are you a real podcast junkie? No matter the verdict, a game like Culture Tags will help you parse out where, exactly, the two of you crossover.
Culture Brands CultureTags Card Game, $, available at Target
There’s a reason everyone brings a boring ol' bottle of wine to a party. And that reason is: Everybody wants wine.
Better yet, it just so happens that this bottle isn’t boring: Crafted by women-owned California-based wine purveyors, the McBride Sisters, this particular Sauv Blanc is as exciting as it is classic.
McBride Sisters Sauvignon Blanc White Wine, $, available at Target
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Yes, the holidays are about connecting with family and friends — about showing your loved ones how much they mean to you. But in the midst of all that celebration of other people, it’s often easy to de-prioritize yourself.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been prone to pouring myself into things I care about deeply — hobbies, friendships, family drama — and while rewarding, it can also be depleting. Which is to say, I love holiday cheer, and I love showing up for my family — but not if it comes with “burn out” as the cost. That’s why this holiday season, in addition to celebrating the people around me, I’m also making a point to prioritize self-care.
What does that look like? Well, it’s different for everyone. For some, it may be a Zoom yoga class or a long run. For others, it may involve copious wine and a big old slice of cake. For me, it’s about retreating to my own space when I need to, and setting aside an afternoon to light some candles for a full-stop, at-home spa day.
And this season, in the hopes of helping you find your own holiday refuge, we’ve partnered with Target to present you a different kind of gift guide. Ahead, shop my absolute favorite under-$25 Target goods — several of which are from Black-owned brands — to gift yourself this holiday season. From a citrus body scrub to a spa sampler box, each product is sure to infuse a little joy into your life. So, go on, treat yourself. You’ve earned it.
Everyone knows that the holidays are a time for honoring traditions with loved ones. But this year, in addition to participating in family time, my partner and I are building our own traditions — and for me, that means trying my hand at bartending. While someone else in my family has always been the resident mixologist, I’ve been saving holiday cocktail recipes to my Pinterest for years, and this year, I’m making a point of experimenting. Nothing says self-care like a perfect, homemade cocktail.
This may sound silly, but I’ve always taken comfort in the process of refilling the hand soap and lotion bottles in my bathroom. Sometimes, little tiny tasks like that can bring so much joy. And come holiday season, I’m always thrilled to lean into a holiday-esque soap scent — like this Everspring Winter Citrus & Pine gift set. It keeps my hand soft and clean (even through radiator season), while bringing me a little bit of cheer every time I turn on the faucet.
You can never have too many candles: they help set a mood, they make for great decor, and they breathe life and warmth into any room. While my partner and I have yet to finish decorating our new place, we’ve dressed up bookshelves and coffee tables with a bunch of these Mercury Jar Fireside Glow candles — and they work wonders to make the space feel more like a sanctuary.
As the weather gets chillier, it’s important to me that my 4C curls stay moisturized and hydrated. And this Mielle gift set is perfect for my wash-day routine. The rice water moisturizer milk and aloe vera deep conditioner help shape my curls, and the wide-tooth comb helps me style them, so I can truly feel like my best self when I step out of the house.
Everyone needs one go-to wine — a surefire favorite that tastes good with everything (especially during the holiday season). And right now, mine happens to be this Sauv Blanc from the McBride Sisters. Not only is the wine itself delicious, but the brand is Black women-owned — and this holiday season, I’m working hard to shop as many Black-owned businesses as I can. So now, when I kick back and enjoy a glass of wine, I can also feel good about where my money is going.
I try to be really intentional about not hoarding products — which can definitely be difficult when the skin-care market is so saturated. So I love being able to purchase kits like this at-home spa sampler, which comes with 10 different sample-size products, all of which I can test out before I make any big purchasing decisions. Plus, the full kit is great motivation to stay engaged in some self-care.
Of course, wellness isn’t just about skin care. It has to do with how you’re feeling internally, too. That’s why I’ve always been in favor of any beverage designed to support gut health or sleep. And I love that this Golde sampler comes with three different beverage formulas to help with bloat, hydration, or stress — and I can confirm: They taste as good as they make you feel.
Balancing my work, my health, and my social life can often feel deeply overwhelming. So when I need to destress, reading has become an excellent way for me to escape (briefly) from all my responsibilities. I’ve been looking forward to reading Seven Days in June by Tia Williams since it came out. I love anything that promises humor and romance at the same time.
A great way to disconnect from your phone or work emails is to be present with family and friends. And one of my favorite ways to feel relaxed and in the moment with loved ones is with a family game night. Of late, CultureTags has become a personal favorite. It’s easy to play, anyone can join in, and there are plenty of ultra-funny pop culture references.
There is nothing on earth that says “me time” quite like a bubble bath — and this Cranberry & Orange Flower Body Scrub has become my absolute go-to bath product. The cranberry twist gives the stuff a great, holiday-forward smell, and it creates perfectly dense, buoyant bubbles. I really can’t recommend it enough.
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If you're looking for stocking stuffers and want to step it up a few notches from the drugstore checkout line bits and bobs, you've come to the right place. Mark your small gifts for the guys in your family found, because it is possible to cobble together stocking stuffers that are useful, beautiful, considerate, and representative of the giftee’s personal aesthetic. We’ve rounded up 30 stocking stuffers for the men in your life, from chic knick-knacks to practical gloves, skincare products, and more. Any man in your life will be pleased with one of these goodies below.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
W & P Design The Old Fashioned Happy Hour Cocktail Kit
For the craft cocktail lover in your life, throw in this fancy and compact happy hour kit into their stocking this Xmas! W&P designs have all the best classic cocktails to choose from, so snag your giftee’s favorite!
W and P Design The Old Fashioned Virtual Happy Hour Cocktail Kit, $, available at W and P Design
Stojo 12oz Collapsible Cup
The Stojo collapsible travel mug is the gift that literally keeps on giving back. It’s easy to tuck away for anyone on the go that wants to make some more eco-friendly choices on the daily.
No one likes kissing someone with chapped crusty lips. This Public Goods lip balm is filled with all the natural moisturizing ingredients like coconut oil and it comes in sleek/clean neutral packaging.
Shop Public Goods
Public Goods Lip Balm, $, available at public goods
Uno Gard Game
There has been no one in the history of humanity that was upset receiving a deck of Uno cards. For all the competitive souls that love to have a solid multiplayer game on hand – this one is for you.
Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki And His Years Of Pilgrimage By Haruki Murakami
With New Year’s book reading resolutions currently being set, help out a man in your life get to their goal. Murakami can really tell a captivating story. This one in particular is filled with adventure, lots of suspense, and incredibly poignant characters.
Haruki Murakami Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage, $, available at Barnes and Noble
Colorcoral Universal Gel Cleaner
This gooey gel is perfect for the neat freak in your life that’s all about the nitty gritty details that most people miss. From car detailing to crumbs on keyboards, this gel can make many everyday things look as good as new.
ColorCoral Universal Gel Cleaner, $, available at Amazon
Energizer Clip On Book Light
Do you have a late-night bookworm in your life? This stocking stuffer will be great for quelling any future arguments regarding when it’s best to shut the lights off for the night.
Orvis Scottish Lambswool Scarf, $, available at Orvis
Airbnb Customizable Gift Card
A vacation you can stuff inside a stocking! We are loving Airbnb's customizable gift cards for easy and crowd-pleasing holiday gift material that's most certainly guy-who-has-everything-approved.
Airbnb Customizable Gift Card, $, available at Airbnb
UGG Wrangell Faux Fur Lined Smart Gloves
These touchscreen-compatible faux fur-lined leather gloves will keep fingers warm while also allowing the wearer to stay plugged in to what's happening online.
Medipop Magic Box UV Sterilizer, $, available at Nordstrom
Cranach Multitool Pen Construction Tool
In the age of the smart phone, carrying around a pen may seem silly. But can your iPhone act as a ruler, leveler, screwdriver, or stylus? This multitool is a surprisingly clever stocking stuffer that can do all that and more.
Men care about skincare and anti-aging prevention just as much as anyone else. This repairing eyes stick reduces the appearance of dark circles while also moisturizing and smoothing out fine lines.
Uncommon Goods Karaoke Microphone Speaker, $, available at Uncommon Goods
Aesop Post-poo Drops
Regular bowel movements are part of life, but that doesn't mean the men in your life should get used to a stinky bathroom. A few drops of this after will keep things fresh and smelling clean.
In Refinery29’s Sweet Digs, we take a look inside the sometimes small, sometimes spacious homes of millennial women and their families. This week, we tour influencer Rachel Martino’s colorful, industrial-style loft in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Rachel Martino’s pre-war loft in Williamsburg used to be a paint factory — which is fitting, since the 31-year-old beauty and fashion blogger was in the market for a “blank canvas apartment” when she moved in. That said, just one year later, the place is anything but blank. In fact, at present, you’d hardly recognize the formerly industrial space (think: cheerful eclectic ambiance, exposed brick, and lots of pink).
At 2,000 square feet, Martino’s pad is ideal for entertaining — especially when you consider her dining room, which includes an 11-foot table (her biggest yet splurge despite being purchased secondhand) surrounded by eight velvet chairs in shades like emerald, blush, and mustard yellow. And that’s before you arrive at Martino’s “crown jewel,” her bar, which spans the entire length of the wall with copper and glass shelving.
While the original spot offered three bedrooms, that felt a bit gratuitous for two (Martino shares her digs with her one-year-old cockapoo, Taxi), so she converted one into a relaxing nook complete with a comfy yellow couch, a hanging chair for reading, and large windows that Martino likes to peer out of to gauge the weather — or get outfit inspo. “People in Williamsburg are very stylish,” she says. “I love watching people to see what they’re wearing.”
As a final touch, then, she turned the last excess bedroom into a full-blown production studio, which she rents out to clients, brands, and other creatives who’d like to use the trinket-filled bookshelves, vanity, or seamless backdrop for their own projects. “It’s so girly,” she says, “so we get a ton of female-focused projects, which I absolutely love.”
Because the space triples as a home, an office, and a content studio, Martino considers her $6,000-a-month rent “actually a steal.” Whatever you’d categorize it as, it’s definitely the kind of place you’d want to snap an Instagram selfie in.
Watch the video above for a closer look inside Martino’s home, and get the inside scoop on where she splurged, her favorite local spot to grab a margarita, and why she commissioned her followers to help her make final decisions.
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