Discussing politics has often involved the use of, let’s face it, boring comparisons. Whether it’s chess or football or a relay race, political talking heads, elected officials, and voters often lean on these trite parallels to make governing appear more interesting. But right now, I’d take a lame “3rd and long on the 5 yard line” reference over an emerging and disturbing trend: comparing electoral politics to sex. 

On Monday, Randi Mayem Singer, the screenwriter of Mrs. Doubtfire, tweeted her, shall we say, “excitement” over President-elect Joe Biden’s cabinet appointments. “Biden’s flow of experienced and qualified cabinet picks are like Democracy foreplay,” the now-deleted tweet began. “I can’t wait for the orgasm Jan. 20th.” 

So, to this we have to ask: Why? Why? Did we learn nothing in 2018, when a woman tweeted a sexual performance analogy about Beto O’Rourke that was so cringe-worthy it had many of us ready to carve our eyeballs out with a spoon? “Ojeda and Avenatti as candidates are like the guy who thinks good sex is pumping away while you’re making a grocery list in your head wondering when he’ll be done,” Leah McElrath wrote. “O’Rourke is like the guy who is all sweet and nerdy but holds you down and makes you cum until your calves cramp.” That should have put an end to all politics-sex comparisons. And possibly the internet.

But it’s not much of a stretch, I guess, when considering the fact that Democrats spent a good eight years of President Barack Obama’s administration being horny on main. Whether it was fawning over pictures of the 44th president when he was in college or gushing over his cropped “mom jeans” and Stan Smiths, there was no end to the public lusting of the most powerful man on the planet. Perhaps this isn’t specific to liberals, considering that many have pined for Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeu and ogled over Joseph Kennedy III. But a lot of time and money have been spent crafting articles like “13 Super Hot Politicians Who Also Deserve Your Thirst” and “Hot Dem! The Liberals We Love.” Lest we forget the 2020 Cuomosexuals, who are currently in the process of eating their words after the beloved centrist governor abhorrently handled the second wave of New York’s COVID-19 outbreak.

And it’s not like politicians themselves haven’t forced us (against our will!) to think about them having sex. Whether it’s Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) liking a porn tweet on the anniversary of September 11; or Rep. Raul Labrador tweeting “Me likey broke girls” after a “sexy” 2 Broke Girls Super Bowl ad; or Rep. Denver Riggleman (R-VA) being accused of liking “Bigfoot erotica”; or former congressman and convicted sex offender Anthony Weiner tweeting a picture of his penis. Needless to say, our elected officials do a bang-up job conflating sex and politics all on their own. They really don’t need the help of pundits and their relentless “between the sheets” fodder. 

So here is our plea to make it stop: May this be the death of all comments comparing electoral politics to sex. Because when our elected officials cannot find a way to provide Americans aid in the midst of a global pandemic that has killed over 250,000 Americans and left millions more unemployed, sheltering-in-place, and facing possible eviction, we don’t need to consider them failing to find a person’s g-spot, either. *cringe*

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Trump Once Accused A Turkey Of Refusing To Concede

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While it’s hard to speak positively of anything that happened in 2020 — the year of doom — one thing remains true: the internet has been so good to us. From Four Seasons Total Landscaping to conspiracy theories that Barron Trump needs “saving,” there’s been no shortage of humor in the online world. And just before Thanksgiving, we’ve once-again been blessed with a parody-level video that is truly fit for these trying times. On Monday, a 2018 video of Donald Trump during the annual presidential Turkey Pardon in the White House Rose Garden resurfaced on Twitter — and it sure gave us a lot to be thankful for. 

Back in 2018, a pre-impeachment Trump was tasked with pardoning two turkeys named Peas and Carrots (sure, ok), but only Peas was voted as the winner of the pardon on the official White House website. Then, in a nearly-prophetic statement made by Trump, he likened Carrots’ loss to losing an election: “This was a fair election…unfortunately, Carrots refused to concede and demanded a recount, and we’re still fighting with Carrots,” he said. 

“We’ve come to a conclusion: Carrots, I’m sorry to tell you, the results did not change. Too bad for Carrots,” Trump said. (Before diving into the parody of it all, it should be noted that Carrots was ultimately pardoned along with Peas, and the two were taken to “Gobbler’s Rest” on the Virginia Tech campus.)

FLASHBACK: In 2018, President Trump attacked Carrots the turkey for refusing to concede he had lost the vote on the White House turkey pardon contest.

“This was a fair election… unfortunately, Carrots refused to concede and demanded a recount.”

pic.twitter.com/MzcackiDwd

— andrew kaczynski🤔 (@KFILE) November 23, 2020

Of course, the irony here is clear: Trump is literally now a turkey named Carrots who refuses to concede his election to Peas (let’s just call him President-elect Joe Biden, for the sake of this analogy). Much like what he alleges about Carrots, Trump, too, is demanding a recount and asserting that he is the real winner. But, Donald, I’m sorry to tell you, we’ve also come to the conclusion, the results did not change. Too bad for Donald. 

Since losing the election over two weeks ago, Trump has filed lawsuits in Michigan, Georgia, and Pennsylvania, making claims that votes for him were purposely discarded and that counting mail-in ballots weren’t properly monitored. There is, of course, no evidence to date to substantiate these widespread claims of voter fraud, with even establishment Republicans beginning to turn their backs on the Trump administration’s efforts to invalidate the election. Still, Trump’s attempts to claim victory over Biden have been largely reinforced by his supporters, who have cried over zombie voters, among other unsupported theories, as well as his most loyal (but clearly inept) confidante and lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.

But above all, we are very sorry to Carrots, who truly did not deserve a fate of representing Trump in a metaphor that was two years in the making. Shoutout to Carrots — our thoughts are with you!

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After its huge success last year, Bath & Body Works is bringing one of its most popular annual sales back just in time for Black Friday shopping. The one-stop-shop for seasonally-scented bath and body products (and candles) is hosting its Buy 3, Get 3 Mix & Match Event. From today, Monday, November 23rd, through Friday the 27th, all of your favorite products — from Frosted Coconut Snowball body wash to Twisted Peppermint-scented candles — can be yours for free, just for shopping.

Here’s the deal: Pick any six Bath & Body Works products, and the three least-expensive ones will be free. You read that right: You can get six for the price of three.

If you’re a regular Bath & Body Works shopper, you may be familiar with the annual Buy 3, Get 3 Free Mix & Match event. But this one is different than year’s past, because instead of a select few items offered in the promotion, this sale includes all products throughout the entire store. So, if you’re looking to stock up for yourself or get some gifts for friends and family, consider your holiday shopping all but wrapped up.

To add to the excitement, Bath & Body Works is releasing more than 65 new products just in time for the sale, including seven new body-care fragrances in addition to the return of holiday favorites, like Coconut Mint Drop and Gingerbread. The brand’s coveted candle collection is getting a boost as well, with eight new-to-the-world scents, like Sweet Cranberry Pie and Chocolate Grahams. There’s also a new collection of fragrances in the Home Fragrance department; scents like Champagne Toast and Frosted Moscow Mule are two that we can’t wait to get our hands on.

And, of course, what would a good Black Friday sale be without an exclusive gift? This year, shoppers who buy in-store or online at any point over the next five days can get a loaded tote bag (valued at over $100) for just $30 with any $30 purchase. Inside, you’ll find eight surprise Bath & Body Works products, including two candles. Some of the products that could end up in your tote bag include: a Tis The Season 3-Wick Candle, Dahlia Shea & Vitamin E Shower Gel, 24-hour Moisture Body Lotion, and more. You can keep the bonus gifts for yourself, or easily split them up into even more gifts for loved ones. But let’s be real, you’ll probably have enough sweet-smelling products to do both.

If you’re planning on doing your shopping in person, in-store deals will be running Monday the 23rd through Wednesday the 25th. If you’re waiting to shop online, the Buy 3, Get 3 Mix & Match Sale starts promptly on Thanksgiving Day. In order to allow employees to spend the holiday at home with family, Thanksgiving Day offers are exclusively online; however, Black Friday is both in stores and online. Just make sure to wear your mask and check your local store hours for opening times.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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On Friday, news broke that Donald Trump Jr. (informally known as President Trump’s second-favorite son) tested positive for COVID-19 — and he is now literally following in his father’s footsteps. Quarantining and taking full advantage of his now-ample free time by tweeting asinine statements and debunked conspiracy theories, Don Jr.’s more-deranged-than-usual post-diagnosis antics have caused many to consider the possible effect COVID-19 has on brain functions. (To be fair, there’s little evidence to suggest he had much function in that region to begin with.)

A spokesperson for the president’s eldest son confirmed in a statement to CNN that Don Jr. “tested positive at the start of the week and has been quarantining out at his cabin since the result.” Later that same day, Don Jr. posted a video to Instagram saying, “apparently I got the ‘rona’ before questioning the legitimacy of the test results because, as he sees it, it’s “odd” he’s “totally asymptomatic.” (Several studies have shown that people can test positive for COVID-19 but never experience any symptoms.)

Then, on Saturday, the outgoing president addressed his son’s positive diagnosis, tweeting “My son Donald is doing very well. Thank you!” For Jr., who is painfully desperate for his father’s love and attention, that must have been a thrill.

While he is no stranger to acting erratic and downright strange on the public stage, Don Jr.’s reaction to his ‘rona’ diagnosis has been odd —  even by Trump family standards: He liked every single tweet from news sources reporting on his COVID-19 diagnosis. Then, he claimed he specifically targeted “left wing publications” so he can “read through the comments to see all the tolerance from those who are preaching unity.”

And on Monday, Jr. shared a mind-numbingly stupid comment about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, tweeting, “Asking for a friend: If you burn your house down after having more than six people over for Thanksgiving can that be considered a ‘peaceful protest’ rather than an illegal gathering? #Thanksgiving.” To the surprise of no one, the jokes were immediate.

“Asking for a friend: How do you test positive for a Hoax?” one person tweeted. “Would have been bigger news if Donald Trump Jr. tested positive for brain cells,” tweeted another. Others joked about Don Jr.’s alleged cocaine use (hardly a joke, considering COVID-19 and the subsequent lockdowns have fueled an increase in drug and alcohol dependency), tweeting “The most common symptom after fever is fatigue. What’s the best medicine for fatigue? Cocaine!” 

While I’m all for shamelessly mocking a member of the Trump family that, make no mistake, deserves it — even Don Jr. acknowledged that he’s an online bully getting what he deserves when he addressed his diagnosis: “God knows I troll, and do my fair share of it, so I guess it comes back to me, in time, as well. That’s the game.”

But all joking aside, COVID-19 does impact brain functionality, both in the short and long term. A common symptom, losing the ability to smell and taste, suggests that the virus attacks the nervous system. A case study out of France found that 67% of patients had neurological problems as a result of contracting COVID-19, and another study conducted by the University of Liverpool found that everything from severe confusion to inflammation of the brain can be a result of COVID-19. Yet another study found that COVID-19 symptoms can and often do include headaches, dizziness, weakness, confusion, eye  movement problems, seizures, and paralysis, and that anywhere from 30-50% of COVID-19 patients will experience a range of neurological issues. 

So while the jokes do write themselves, COVID-19, the record number of cases, and the rising number of hospitalizations is no laughing matter. Don Jr. didn’t have enough brain power to buck his father’s nonchalant attitude toward the virus and COVID-19 safety measures, so much so that he got sick himself. Here’s hoping he is just…kicked off Twitter.

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At last night’s American Music Awards, Jennifer Lopez arrived on the red carpet with a new hairstyle. The blunt honey-blonde lob, styled in wet waves by celebrity stylist Chris Appleton, is a departure from the long, voluminous hairstyles we are used to seeing on the singer recently. 

The lob was styled in a center part with face-framing waves. Thanks to some expert styling by Appleton, J.Lo’s award-show hairstyle appeared wet and shiny, while still maintaining a soft and effortless vibe. If you’re looking to recreate the style for yourself, you’re in luck: In an Instagram post, Appleton just gave a full product breakdown for how he achieved the glam wet-shine effect. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Chris Appleton (@chrisappleton1)

In his quick and easy instructions, Appleton says he prepped the style using Color Wow’s Dream Coat, an ultra-light spray formulated to create frizz-free, no-crunch curls or waves that are glossy and defined. Believe it or not, this wet style does involve some dry styling. According to Appleton, he used a Leandro Limited carbon ionic hair dryer with a diffuser attachment to gently dry J.Lo’s lob while keeping its texture. Next, he applied Color Wow Pop and Lock, a frizz control and glossing serum that promises “sparkling shine.” To add just a bit more wave, Appleton then added some loose twists using a BaBylissPro 1.25-inch curling iron on its lowest heat setting. Finally, he finished off the look with Color Wow’s Extra Shine spray, designed to create a glossy, but not greasy, shine.

Lopez kept the look for her performance of “Pa’ Ti” and “Lonely” with Maluma. She swapped out her structured, custom-made Balmain ensemble for a black bodysuit with cutouts, which prompted some to notice that her performance looked very familiar to Beyoncé’s 2014 Grammys performance with her husband, Jay-Z when she sang “Drunk In Love.”

this @JLo x @maluma performance was 🌶🌶🌶 #AMAs pic.twitter.com/RLJ9e5M3R8

— Complex Music (@ComplexMusic) November 23, 2020

Both women sported identical blonde wet-shine lobs and black cutout bodysuits. Additionally, they each had choreography using chairs and dramatic striped lighting. While some consider J.Lo’s performance a direct Beyoncé copy, others think it may have been an homage to an iconic moment. Some hold the opinion that J.Lo’s visuals gave off more of a “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago vibe, because it included her and Maluma duetting across an interrogation table and other lighting elements more reminiscent of the film. What’s crystal clear? The wet-shine lob proves to be the onstage hairstyle that wins every time.

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Over the weekend, Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly, also known as Colson Baker, made their first awards show appearance as a couple at the American Music Awards. Fox wore an emerald green strapless, asymmetrical top and matching skirt showing off a new tattoo on her left collarbone that fans believe is an homage to her new boyfriend.

It’s hard to make out the exact phrase, but one eagle-eyed fan on Twitter theorizes that the ink spells “el pistolero,” which means “the gunman” in Spanish. Baker — who is also known by his stage name, MGK, and a number of other titles — has a penchant for nicknames and, according to his fans, this is one of them. 

Fox and Baker are both big tattoo fans, and in an interlude on his latest album, Tickets To My Downfall, Fox reveals that they both have ink dedicated to each other. “It was just four months ago that we were right here and I met you — that’s not possible,” Fox reflected in the recording that sits as the penultimate track on the album. “You just got my initials tattooed on you. I just got your nickname tattooed on me.” Though the pair has been spotted out together on numerous occasions, the commemorative tattoos had yet to be spotted, until last night.

we finally have a close up of megan’s tattoo and it says ‘el pistolero’ which is spanish for the gunman aka machine gun kelly!!! my fucking heart pic.twitter.com/BsFuY2lkuh

— tamara 🎟 (@takemyhedicine) November 22, 2020

The pair began dating over the summer after meeting on the set of their upcoming film, Midnight in the Switchgrass. Fox also appeared in the music video for “Bloody Valentine,” the first single off Baker’s album, which dropped in late September. Things seem to have gotten serious pretty quickly for the couple. Last night, Fox even introduced Baker’s performance at the AMAs with sweet words: “Once in a lifetime, magic can happen. But this next performer, we’ve all been under his spell since his debut in 2012.”

We love to see it. Megan Fox introduces @machinegunkelly‘s #AMAs performance! pic.twitter.com/PsAIAgdi7J

— American Music Awards (@AMAs) November 23, 2020

Both Fox and Baker seem to be head over heels for each other. In an interview on the podcast Give Them Lala…With Randall, Fox said she believed Baker was her “twin flame,” a sentiment that Baker seems to share. During an interview with Howard Stern, Baker said he didn’t think love like theirs was real until he met Fox. “After I made… the big chunk of the album, I did fall in love for the first time,” he explained. “It was the first experience with being open to love and stuff like that. I definitely wasn’t set up to believe that that’s something that could ever exist.”

With feelings like that, we’re not surprised that Fox and Baker have dedicated ink. Whether Fox’s collarbone tattoo is her permanent tribute to Baker, we’re sure their fans will figure it out.

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