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In addition to Near Death Experiences (NDEs) and Deathbed Visions (DBVs), there is a little known mystery that also occurs at the deathbed. Most people are unaware of the Shared Death Experience (SDE), or as it is also referred to, the Empathic Death Experience. In these experiences, someone who is in close physical proximity to the dying participates in the initial experiences of the dying as they leave life. It does not have to be a loved one. It can be a caregiver or just someone who happens to be in the room. While there is documentation of these events dating back to at least the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, there has been little, if any, mention of it in the literature. It has been with the publication of Raymond Moody’s 2010 book, “Glimpses of Heaven” that the information has come into public awareness.^[1] 

What makes the SDE so intriguing is that the person experiencing this with the dying is neither ill nor dying. These experiences can include seeing visions of the deceased’s relatives or friends, having an out of body experience, hearing beautiful music, seeing bright lights, or enjoying the same sense of peace, happiness and wonder as the dying. The following example is an excerpt of an account from Glimpses of Heaven by a hospice psychologist who shared in a SDE: 

“The deathbed scene is not fully in this world. And although I am not religious, hospice work has awakened me to a spiritual dimension of life. I have experienced the room taking on a different configuration a number of times. The only way I can describe it is moving energy pulses through the room. I often feel something I can't name. The bedside of the dying offers a view into eternity. Like looking through a window into elsewhere, from time to time I see lights and twice have had clear views of what appear to be structures. On both occasions, I saw patients leave their bodies in cloud form. I saw them rise out of their bodies and head toward the structures...There is no doubt in my mind that you can sometimes see people depart for the other side.”

Moody has identified 10 elements that can occur during the SDE. They include:

1. Seeing a mist arising from the body at death.
2. Hearing beautiful music being played
3. Changes in the shape of the room
4. Experiencing a strong upward pull on the body
5. Having a shared out-of-body experience
6. Seeing a mystical light
7. Experiencing the life review with the dying person.
8. Being greeted by beings of light
9. Finding oneself in Heavenly surroundings
10. Reaching a boundary that can not be crossed and returning to their body.

Dr. Moody states that it is rare that any single experience will contain all the different elements but even experiencing a few of them has been shown to have a life changing impact on the witness. While the similarities between the NDE and the SDE are striking, Moody claims that there are several ways in which they are different. In the SDE, beautiful other-worldly music can be heard. There is a shifting in the shape of the room which is often described as a shifting into another dimension. Lastly, the witness will often describe seeing a smokey mist rising from the deceased which takes on the human form. He also states that in both the NDE and the SDE, the experience of seeing the “light” tends to be the most transformative of all the elements.

How can we understand these experiences? Currently, most of the information about SDEs is anecdotal. World-wide research is currently being conducted by the Shared Crossing Research Initiative. ^[2] Some of the explanations that have been offered to explain the NDEs are not relevant to the SDE. Anoxia or other changes in the dying brain can not explain this phenomena as the witness is not dying or ill. Is it a Folie a Deux, a shared delusion? Could it simply be the witnesses’ hallucination caused by grief? Currently, without more data, we do not know. Dr. Moody, however, believes that the more we know about the SDE, the greater potential it may have to provide us with evidence of the afterlife. What is known now is that regardless of the source of the SDE, witnesses lives can be profoundly and positively changed as a result. The Shared Crossing Research project has already found that being a part of an SDE leads to a significant reduction in grief, loss of the fear of death, increased belief in the afterlife and a reassessment of one's life.

1) Moody, Raymond (2010). Glimpses of Eternity. New York, New York: Guideposts: Book Club Edition.

2) http://www.sharedcrossing.com