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Britains Oldest Twins Say No Sex and Guinness Secret to Longevity

Britain's oldest twins, 95-year-old women Lilian Cox and Doris Hobday, are coming clean about what it takes to live a long and fruitful life. And apparently, the secret is in sex and beer.

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Appearing on ITV's “This Morning” the two nonagenarians amused the viewing audience by relating the secret to their longevity, making it plain and simple to anyone who was watching at the time. “No sex and plenty of Guinness.”

With the French having called the human orgasm “la petite mort” or the little death, it seems that these British ladies may have borrowed some ancient wisdom from a nearby culture in their sage advice.

Of course, that's not to say that Lilian and Doris were always abstinent: According to their Facebook page, Doris was apparently married for an incredible 65 years, and Lil herself had five children. Those children later produced 13 grandchildren and 19 great grandchildren. Those are some incredible numbers for the twins, and an indication of a lifetime of love and happiness.

Must have been all that smoky black beer and a shared love for veteran action hero Jason Statham, who both women admit to having a bit of a fancy for. In fact, while reviewing Hobbs & Shaw, Doris said of the hunky 52-year-old, “Well I think he’s fantastic … He is a nice lad.”

Lil was a little less reserved in her show of affection for the Expendables star. “Oh I love him ... One night with him and I’d...”

You can fill in the blanks. As of this writing, Jason Statham has not responded in any way, shape, or form to the adulation of his most dedicated and perhaps oldest fans.

Hee hee ! Look it’s us Doris ????? pic.twitter.com/cdDXK8jXk6

— Tipton Twins (@TiptonTwins) September 9, 2019

Running the account @tiptontwins on social media, the lovable pair of elderly women are melting hearts the world over with their natural charm and easygoing natures. Perhaps the internet can use a little more zazzy homespun wisdom and fun from the older generation rather than an endless flood of cynicism and negativity, a train of thought obviously echoed by the many admirers constantly signing up to see the latest and greatest from Lil and Doris.

As for the twins' take on their newfound fame, and all of the attention they are receiving from fans? They're simply loving it. In a world where youth is often prized over lessons learned, all of this attention focused on Doris and Lil and their impish antics seems very well-earned.

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Christina Majaski, Khareem Sudlow