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It’s no secret that communication is a crucial skill that you need to master in order to succeed in your career and in your interpersonal relationships. In fact, according to Forbes Magazine, effective communication just might be the single most important skill you could possibly learn!

Even if you weren’t born with the gift for gab, with practice you can confidently approach and mesmerize just about anyone – including that beautiful woman standing in front of you.

Sure, striking up a conversation with a beautiful woman can be intimidating, but on the flip side missing an incredible opportunity to make a connection just because you were too shy to approach her is wayyyy worse!

If you’re nervous about reaching out, here are a couple of surefire tips to help you navigate that all-important first conversation!

 

Click Here To Watch The Video – 10 Ways To Start A Conversation With A Beautiful Woman NATURALLY!

1. Give A Compliment
2. Tell A Joke
3. Look For Common Ground
4. Notice The Details
5. Invoke Pop Culture
6. Ask About Her Favorite Show/Movies
7. Ask About Her Passions
8. Avoid Mansplaining
9. Don't Mention Past Relationships
10. Pay Attention To Her
11. Ask To Be Introduced
12. Never fear The Mundane

This is a guest post by Claudia Cox, founder of Text Weapon. Sign up for your FREE 30 day Texting Club trial. You’ll receive access to 300 messages, and tips on how to use texting to improve your relationships.

 

1. Give A Compliment

One of the easiest ways to strike up a conversation with a woman is to open with a compliment! A great compliment makes you seem kind, attentive, considerate and can lead to a great conversation.

Psychologist Paul DePompo has a handy tip for conversation-starting compliments: although you might be tempted to start a conversation by complimenting a woman’s physical appearance (“You have such beautiful eyes,” “I love your smile,” etc.), a more effective approach might be to compliment something more closely related to her personality.

If she’s a colleague who just gave a great presentation at your most recent meeting, compliment her on her confidence and public speaking skills. If she’s carrying a book that you’ve read before, compliment her on her taste in literature.

These personality-based compliments give you both a lot more room to continue the conversation, especially compared to appearance-based compliments.

Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson takes DePompo’s advice one step further: “People are more likely to feel appreciated if you praise their personal qualities, rather than acquired talents.”

In other words, complimenting a woman’s skill at networking shows your appreciation for her business acumen, but telling a woman that you admire her intrinsic kindness, humor, or selflessness shows your appreciation for who she is as a person.

 

2. Tell A Joke

Another really easy way to break the ice is to tell a joke.

According to Dawn Maslar, author of Men Chase, Women Choose: The Neuroscience of Meeting, Dating, Losing Your Mind, and Finding True Love, laughter “releases oxytocin, the ‘bonding hormone.’” A goofy pick-up line or a cheesy joke can be a great way to create a comfortable, lighthearted atmosphere for the rest of the conversation.

Just be careful to steer clear of jokes that are overtly political, vulgar, or crass. Those kinds of jokes might go over well with your friends, but they’re not the greatest way to make a good first impression on a stranger or casual acquaintance.

This might seem like a redundant statement, but landing a joke at the beginning of a conversation lets your interlocutor know that you have a great sense of humor. Coincidentally, when women aged 21 to 54 were asked what characteristics they found most attractive in men, a good sense of humor was ranked highest out of all possible personality traits.

If you establish yourself as a funny guy at the onset of a conversation, you have a much higher chance of seeming attractive to your conversational partner!

 

3. Look For Common Ground

A really easy strategy for striking up a conversation is to use what you have in common as a springboard. One of the simplest ways to do this is to use the setting of the conversation to your advantage.

Behavioral investigator and Science of People founder Vanessa Van Edwards notes that this tip “can be modified to any kind of event.” For example, if you’re looking to chat up a beautiful woman at a party, you might ask her, “How do you know the host?” That way, you can establish that you both have at least one person in common, and the conversation can progress from there.

If you’re at a work event, Van Edwards recommends tweaking the question to “How long have you been a part of this organization?”.
No matter what situation you’re in, beginning with the settings or people you have in common can help create a solid foundation for the rest of the conversation.

 

4. Notice Details

University of Massachusetts Amherst professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne advises that a woman’s clothing can be a great jumping-off point for a conversation. If she’s wearing a shirt or hat with a sports logo, you might want to ask her if she’s a fan of that particular team.

The same applies for clothing with references to movies or TV. If she’s wearing unique accessories, like eccentric jewelry, shoes, or carrying a quirky purse, asking about those accessories can also be a great way to break the ice.

Plus, complimenting a cool or quirky outfit shows that you’re attentive about her appearance in a way that’s sophisticated and attentive, but not creepy or lecherous.

 

5. Invoke Pop Culture

If you’re struggling to think of something that you two might have in common, bringing up current pop culture events is a great option. Comment or joke about something she’s probably familiar with.

Recent blockbuster releases, popular music, and reality television shenanigans are all safe bets. Just remember to keep it lighthearted — avoid politics, and try not to bring up a pop culture event that you feel negatively about.

For example, if you hated the most recent season of Game of Thrones, you might not want to bring it up until you know your conversational partner a little better; starting off a conversation on a negative note casts a negative shadow over the rest of your interaction.

Plus, it’s super awkward if you declare that you hated a movie or show, and then find out that she actually loved it.

 

6. Ask About Her Favorite Movie or TV Show

This conversation starter is tangentially related to the pop culture tip, but it’s a little bit more specific. Almost everyone loves movies or has a favorite Netflix series.

When it comes to talking to women, start by disclosing your personal favorite and then ask her about hers. “Lately I have been addicted to Money Heist – do you have a favorite Netflix series?” A woman’s favorite movie or series can say a lot about her and can hint at whether or not you two have compatible interests.

You can learn a lot about someone from their favorite movies.

If you two end up going to the movies or binge-watching a series on a second or third date, you’ll already have an idea of what shows she might like!

 

7. Ask About Her Passions

If you’re shy, introverted, or have social anxiety, the idea of carrying a conversation all by yourself can seem very intimidating. An easy, subtle way to shift the focus of the conversation to your partner is to ask her what she’s passionate about.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to ask her “What are your passions?” outright. Instead of focusing on what she does for a living, ask her what she likes to do in her free time.

Start off by sharing something you like to do, and then ask her to pipe in. For example: “Lately I’ve been trying to learn Spanish. A friend of mine showed me a really cool app called Duolingo, it’s so much fun…much better than 8th grade Spanish. What do you like to do in your free time?”

 

8. Avoid Mansplaining

When surveyed about the personality traits that they find most attractive in men, women responded that intelligence was the second-most important trait, beaten only by a good sense of humor. Sounding articulate, knowledgeable, and generally smart can make you seem very attractive in a first conversation.

However, there is a caveat — talking too much or acting too knowledgeable can actually be a turnoff. You may have heard of the term “mansplaining,” which essentially describes a situation where a man grossly underestimates a woman’s intelligence by explaining things that she clearly already knows.

Career and personal coach Marty Nemko, Ph.D., advises that in order to avoid coming across as a mansplainer, you should “mitigate the risk of seeming hubristic by keeping your comments brief and perhaps by softening the impact, for example, by ending with, ‘Just a thought. What do you think?”. This way, you give your conversational partner the opportunity to share her expertise and offer her opinions, instead of steamrolling her with your knowledge.

 

9. Avoid Talking About Past Relationships

If you’re on a first date, bringing up your past relationships is an instant conversation killer. In theory, this sounds like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at how easy it is to accidentally find yourself mentioning your exes on a first date.

A 2016 study by Marisa Cohen of St. Francis College found that women tend to consider the conversation topic of past exes as a “sign of disinterest.”

She isn't your psychiatrist. Don't unload your emotional baggage on her. 

In other words, when you bring up your most recent ex-girlfriend on a first date, no matter what your motive for doing so might be, your date is likely to decide that you’re more interested in harping on your ex than in dating her.

Even if your last relationship ended on a sour note, try to focus on the potential for a new, healthier, happier relationship than giving into the temptation to dig up old beef.

 

10. Pay Attention

In talking to women online, it can feel incredibly daunting to send the first message to a woman, even if you’ve matched with each other. Oftentimes, even after you shoot your shot, the woman in question leaves you hanging, never bothering to message you back.

In order to increase your chances of actually starting a conversation over an online dating platform, take the time to look at her photos and bio to see if you share a similar hobby, taste in music or favorite hang-out place.

Starting the conversation with something from her profile shows that you’re attentive and observant, and indicates that you’re not just messaging every single woman you match with after a mere cursory glance at their profiles.

 

11. Ask To Be Introduced

If you see an interesting woman at a mutual friend’s party, ask your mutual friend to tell you a few things about her, for example, a few of her hobbies and where she’s from, and then ask your friend to be introduced.

Use these tidbits of information you collected beforehand to start a natural conversation: “So I hear you like skiing, what’s your favorite resort?” or “You’re a Florida State grad? Did you ever actually get sick of all the sunshine?”

 

12. Don't Be Afraid Of The Mundane

Bringing up seemingly mundane, yet common ground topics such as the band or special drink menu is an easy way to get a natural conversation started.

Simply say something positive followed by a question such as “This is such a cool wine bar, have you been here before?”

Any recommendations?” or “I remember when this was just a parking lot, they really turned it around, I love the atmosphere.

Leverage your immediate surroundings to keep the conversation going.

Have you tried any of their appetizers? I’m having a tough time deciding, they all look so good!”

 

Summary – Talking To Women

1. Give A Compliment
2. Tell A Joke
3. Look For Common Ground
4. Notice The Details
5. Invoke Pop Culture
6. Ask About Her Favorite Show/Movies
7. Ask About Her Passions
8. Avoid Mansplaining
9. Don't Mention Past Relationships
10. Pay Attention To Her
11. Ask To Be Introduced
12. Never fear The Mundane

Interacting with the ladies can seem tough. You might be afraid of rejection or coming off the wrong way. Talking to women isn't rocket science though.

It comes down to confidence and practice. Remember, the worse she can do is say no.

 

This is a guest post by Claudia Cox, founder of Text Weapon. Sign up for your FREE 30 day Texting Club trial. You’ll receive access to 300 messages, and tips on how to use texting to improve your relationships.

The post Talking To Women: 12 Conversation Tips For Men appeared first on Real Men Real Style.

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Guest Poster, Khareem Sudlow