DMT Beauty Transformation: Why Are Chris Hemsworth’s Guided Meditations So Sexy?
featured Khareem Sudlow

Why Are Chris Hemsworth’s Guided Meditations So Sexy?

April 14, 2020DMT Beauty

#DMTBeautySpot #beauty

Yesterday, shortly before 5 p.m., I learned that Chris Hemsworth has an app. That knowledge came in the form of a Slack from a coworker. It read: “So has anyone here listened to Chris Hemsworth’s new Sleep For Kids meditation recording on his app? It is a thinly veiled horny meditation for fans.”

Within five minutes I had downloaded the app — ostensibly a wellness program called Centr — filled out a detailed profile, and given my permission to be charged $29.99 if I forget to cancel my subscription within seven days. Worth it. Because just like that, I had access to the guided meditations, designed for children, that my coworker was calling, “Truly the hottest thing I have ever heard.”

Thirty seconds into the first recording, I agreed.

The actor leads two guided meditations. The app designers go out of their way to make it abundantly clear that they are for kids. “Sleep For Kids: Starry Night,” the first one is called. “Narrated by Chris Hemsworth, this visualization will take kids on a journey through the twinkling night sky,” the description reads. We get it — it’s for kids!

And then Chris kicks things off with a low, lightly accented “Hi everybody,” and I am lost.

At first, I think maybe it’s just his voice that’s making me blush: the gravel-y, “just woke up” rumble, tinged with the faintest hint of an Australian accent. And to be sure, that too-rugged-to-be-a-meditation-teacher tenor is at least 80% of the appeal here. But his script contains just enough borderline innuendo to make me think that maybe — maybe — Chris is in on this, too.

“Are you all tucked up in bed?” he asks huskily, and I instinctively look around to make sure my husband can’t hear. “Feel your body go soft and wobbly like jelly,” he whispers into my ear, and I feel perspiration begin to gather at my hairline. In his second recording, called “Meditation For Kids: Share Your Kindness” (emphasis mine), he murmurs, haltingly, “Your body is being filled with love… and kindness… and happiness.” I am sweating.

I don’t know why Chris Hemsworth created such sexy meditations for kids. It was probably an accident, and everything he says at a register below “melodramatic Thor yell” sounds slightly erotic. Possibly, it was a ploy to get more parents to download the app. As another coworker said, “This is definitely more for mommy than baby.”

Whatever the reason, for a wonderful hour on a Monday afternoon, Chris’s guided meditations broke up the tedium of working from home and brought joy to our Slack channel. I only hope he records more. I’d love to hear his take on Deep Breathing (For Kids).

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Sexy Text Messages To Turn Your Lover On

The Best Meditation Music If You Have No Chill

This App Lets You Listen To Steamy Erotic Stories



Mirel Zaman, Khareem Sudlow

You Might Also Like


DMT BarberShop

DMT BarberShop
Come get the professional touch you deserve!

Featured Video

Contact Form