Perhaps I am old-fashioned. When I offer my patronage to a business, especially for the very first time, it is always pleasant to receive an extra touch of appreciation in the form of good customer service. I have been hunting the market for a hybrid shoe in the form of a sneaker & monk strap. One extremely stylish pair garnered my attention some time ago, but the price-tag was too expensive for my wallet. Subsequent discoveries were also too pricey for my budget. And then the Johnston & Murphy Bolivar Monk Strap crossed my radar. An offering from their higher tiered J&M Collection, I patiently waited for a sale that would never arrive on a variety of websites. However, one day a Google search returned a suggestion for a business in Pittsburgh, PA called Larrimor’s. Now, I am sometimes suspicious of businesses on the Internet that are unknown to me. I performed a little Internet research that revealed it was indeed a legit business.

Much like other businesses that have an online presence, new customers can receive a discount code if they subscribe to receive special offers and the latest company notifications via email. And as fortune would have it, Larrimor’s had the J&M Bolivar Monk Strap in its inventory, and they had an offer for 15% off retail for new customers. And on this particular day, both shipping and sales tax were waived too. This deal was too good to ignore. Decisions were made and the acquisition was approved. So, all things calculated and considered, a $300 pair of shoes were reduced to approximately $233. It was my birthday – and I had been chasing a deal on these shoes for literally MONTHS – so I decided to treat myself. Sometimes I catch a sale too late, and then my size is no longer in stock. We have all been there gentlemen – dragging our feet on a sale way too many times with a disappointing conclusion.

So, my order was placed online on September 1st. To my surprise, I received a personal email from Jen (an eCommerce Manager) confirming the details of my order with an estimated delivery date of 5-6 business days. I received my order on September 9th. No, it was not Amazon lightning fast, but I am not from the generation of instant gratification. Sometimes patience is a virtue, and good things come to those that wait. And wow, these shoes are slick (pictures to come later). Inside the shoe box was a handwritten note from the Larrimor’s team and an additional offer for a 15% discount that will expire in 30 days. I truly appreciate the handwritten, personal thank you card. It is sadly a lost practice in an age of impersonal interactions between people. We are in a time where we definitely could use more of these kind gestures of appreciation. Now, the inventory on the Larrimor’s website isn’t as plentiful as larger, big brand chains. However, I am glad my Google search alerted me to their existence. I will definitely check them out going forward in the future.

To be sure, for individuals with a heightened degree of mental acuity, one can risk leaning too heavily into one’s intelligence, much to the detriment of reason and logic. Now, there are particular circumstances that occur life that elicits such a passionate exercise. And trust, I wholeheartedly understand the passion that can be evoked toward an intimately held belief or idea. For certain, it is passion that propels purpose and progress. Nevertheless, absent restraint, passion can pervert principle. Passion can propagate pain. And passion can promote perplexing political partitions. Sometimes, if you can humor me, some subject matter need not be overly thought and unnecessarily complicated. Some things are as simple as they present themselves.

However, some people possess an insatiable appetite to expertly weave arguments to either explain the unexplainable or ignore the explainable altogether. So, what you have is an intellectual exhibitionist ready to expose their intelligence for all to see, solely for the purpose of self-gratification and self-affirmation. It’s not that complicated. Sometimes the subject matter boils down to key core values: integrity, honesty, accountability, responsibility, dignity, and character. Because, for all the bluster and grandstanding, a reprobate ideology should not trump morality and ethics. Is this not what we demand of our children? It’s not that complicated. Believe me, I understand the disappointment and despair. However, those feelings can yield discontent and disillusionment. And in turn, we gravitate towards something we know in our soul is wrong.

Now, you may have read the following statement before here on this blog, but I believe it bears repeating, albeit with a remix. We can disagree without being disagreeable, however, common ground should not be so uncommon, as I truly believe it is achievable. Diatribes disguised as smart discourse are disingenuous and should be definitively dispelled. In this shared experience of life, we are called upon to select imperfect vessels to carry our hopes and beliefs to a preferred destination for a greater good. Sometimes the passage is rocky and turbulent. Sometimes we momentarily stray off course. And sometimes the destination is so far that the eye can barely see it. Alas, we dutifully stay the course. However, when we knowingly select a vessel fraught with moral dilapidation, and its integrity is compromised by ethical decay, the depths that we sink will be of our own choosing.

Honestly, I do not know where to start this particular post as I look at the split photograph above. The contrast is visible jarring. It has definitely been quite the journey. I will be soon approaching the anniversary of a serious health scare that landed me in the hospital approximately a year ago. One summer evening, I was tirelessly working in the backyard when I encountered some stubborn weeds – burdock weeds to be exact. They were ridiculously humongous, and unbeknownst to me, their roots were insanely deep. With a bit of elbow grease, I surmised I could rip these unsightly, unwelcome visitors from the soil. However, they were embedded in the ground mightily, and with each Herculean yank, a piece of my soul seemingly left my body. I cannot recall how many weeds I was able to free from the ground, but I decided to call it an evening as it progressively became darker outside. We have been known to have rogue coyotes prance through backyards at night, and I seriously did not want a close encounter of the unwanted kind.

Physically exhausted, I sluggishly retreated to my couch to play some World War Z Aftermath on the PS5 to relax. However, I felt an uncomfortable heaviness in my chest. Now, it was not painful, it was just an irritating pressure that would not subside. I thought perhaps it was gas and I needed a vigorous belch. I tried to get comfortable, but I just could not find a cozy position. Frustrated, I then retreated to the bedroom to sleep it off – maybe I strained a pectoral muscle with all the previous tugging. Still, I could not find a comfortable position. I tossed. I turned, but nothing helped. Now my mind was racing to worse case scenarios. I have a history of cardiovascular disease in my family with more than a few deaths due to heart attack or stroke. Taking my age, family history, and physical shape into account; I decided now was not the time to be too proud and ignore any warning signs.

Admittedly, my next series of actions were questionable. I prepared my kid’s lunches for the following morning (it was between 1 a.m. & 2 a.m. I think), woke my wife up to explain the situation, and then drove myself to the emergency room. Okay – you can let me have it in the comment section. However, I truly did not feel as if I was in any medical distress. Once I was settled in the emergency room; all of the preliminary tests (EKG & bloodwork to detect markers for a heart attack) were fine. The nurse thought I’d be going home in the next few hours. Great, I would be back home to get breakfast started and see the kids off to school. Nope. Big nope. The on-call physician wanted more tests. After being tortured by the ER nurse who could not find a vein, I settled into my ER bed quite angry. Sidenote: If a nurse needs a vein finder thingy doohickie to locate your veins – ask for another nurse. I have never experienced that much pain in my life as a needle was jammed into my arm in a desperate attempt to start an IV. I’m a nice chocolate gentleman, but I can still see a faint bruise at the insertion site to this day. Thanks Stephen.

Due to family history and my symptoms, the on-call physician wanted to examine me further before releasing me home. And so, I was wheeled away for a CTA (computed tomography angiography) to determine any funny business going on within my arteries. The results: 50-70% blockage in one of my coronary arteries. WTF?! I swear I cried for an hour straight. I stent was in my future. My mind was racing. I needed to see my children. I needed to be home. WTF?! Making calls to my wife and family were devastating. I had NEVER been hospitalized EVER. So now was the waiting game. I had to be admitted and I had to be scheduled for a cardiac catheterization to determine the best approach for stenting. The next day or so was tense. I was very much afraid. I was also deeply disappointed in myself for putting my loved ones through so much worry.

The procedure itself was a breeze. I was placed under mild sedation and given a local anesthetic; it lasted perhaps 20 minutes. I was a little loopy, but I could hear my cardiologist speaking with the nurses in the room. A miracle. I could hear him tell the room that the blockage was not bad, and a stent was not required. The blockage was more around 30% instead of the initial findings. I was overjoyed. And then my cardiologist had a frank conversation with me. I needed a lifestyle change, or next time, there would be no next time. My cholesterol was sky high, and so was my blood sugar. I never weighed myself at home. So, when the nurse wrote 139 kg on the white board inside my patient room, I was curious regarding what that equated to in pounds. Well, it converts to 307 pounds. WTF?!

The patient in the adjacent bed clocked in at around 500 pounds. He had severe sleep apnea, so he would wake up screaming when he stopped breathing. He vomited in the bed. Somehow, he yanked his IV line out and bled all over the sheets. Due to his size and inability to be mobile, he had to urinate in a basin. I could not sleep. I asked the charge nurse to pretty please change my room. However, the remaining rooms had all female occupants. And the last room had a single that was prone to violence. So, the choices were waking up to a crazed patient trying to kill me or stay with the pleasant sounds of screaming, snoring, vomiting, and peeing. I slept as best I could with headphones. Talk about a medical version of Scared Straight. I resigned myself to change.

Now, I will probably write another post regarding how I landed at my current weight – 214 pounds. Yes, I have lost over 90 pounds in a little less than a year. It has not been easy – not at all. The first glance at the gym mirror was so depressing. How did I allow myself to get this way? Losing weight felt like an impossible task. Nevertheless, we all have to start somewhere. I went on Amazon and bought a bevy of shirts to psyche myself up for each gym session. Thus far, I have reduced my blood sugar (back to recommended levels) without the aid of medication, reduce my cholesterol (still need meds because of these damn genetics), increase my overall energy, and look good in my suits again! It has been a struggle of a journey. But I’m still here y’all. And hopefully I can stick around a little while longer.

Nowadays, this is what life as a father looks like for me. I am a gentleman of a certain age and grace that now resides in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. My beard is markedly adorned with dignified speckles of white and grey now. My woeful hairline retreated from battle decades ago. My children are growing older now, and Father Time did not sit idly by on my behalf. School events are becoming plentiful, and it is important a father attempt to attend as many as humanly possible. Therefore, school events beg for a presentation from a gentleman that looks the part of a parent. I have always reasoned with myself that I would not be the guy in his 40s foolishly attempting to look like a guy in his 20s. Hello Cliff Huxtable sweaters. Now, I was able to purchase this graphic fleece sweatshirt from Brooks Brothers on a substantial seasonal sale. The goal was to juxtapose a lighthearted, fashionable centerpiece with my otherwise serious demeanor.

An unserious, quirky sweatshirt; I have been able to rediscover and renew my creative personality traits after shedding over 70 pounds. I had a serious health scare back in July 2023, and I have been on the challenging road to improve my health. I will probably write about the experience in later posts. For now, I am enjoying clothing again and expressing my personality through my personal style. Layered over a button up shirt, this sweatshirt was definitely a conversation starter. I signed up to volunteer at my daughter’s school’s open house, and my Henry the Sheep top elicited a lot of compliments and questions. I paired the top with some Mugsy jeans, a Paul Stuart corduroy cap, and Sperry boots – all items middle-aged father approved. I have a few more sweaters I am waiting to rock in the future, and it appears the weather is going to present ample opportunities to sport them. Now, these types of sweaters are definitely not for everyone. You cannot take yourself too seriously, and you need to come to terms with an advancing age that pleads for suitable attire. I’m good on both accounts.

How a job candidate concludes an interview could seriously play a pivotal role securing a position in an organization. More than likely, it is the final time a candidate can clearly define themselves, summarize their skills, and express enthusiasm toward potentially joining the organization. Stakes can be considerably high with a competitive field, and a job candidate must ensure every measure is taken to court a successful outcome. The conclusion of an interview can be a conflicting combination of relief and regret, as a candidate will be thankful for surviving the question filled gauntlet but may be disappointed with their resulting performance. Confidently closing an interview affords you the opportunity to perform a high level, albeit succinct reiteration of key skills, personal attributes, and talents for consideration. Here below are a few tips.

• During the close, a candidate should ask the interviewer(s) meaningful, well-thought questions. It is important to remember that the candidate should be determining if the job is a good fit for them as well. Aside from the standard fare of hours, wages, and benefits; a candidate should be inquiring about culture, training, company/department objectives, and job expectations within their first three months of employment. This level of engagement reiterates your excitement and interest regarding the position. It would also be beneficial that you are familiar with company’s vision and mission. If it is an internal department, it would behoove you to educate yourself regarding the department’s direction or any significant projects on the horizon.
• Ensure that you present a clear vision and goal for yourself. Any personal objectives should align with the organization’s mission and vision. Again, a candidate should devote the proper time reviewing the company’s website for pertinent, detailed information. It is always wise to map out objectives and goals for your career ahead of time. It demonstrates forward-thinking and illustrates a genuine interest in the company’s future.
• A candidate should clearly, succinctly rearticulate their talents and skills. It would be wise to grant thought toward adjectives that best describe you professionally and how those characteristics apply to the position you are seeking. A candidate should review the job description, identify keywords pertaining to the position, and smartly tailor their pitch to coincide with the company’s needs. Should a candidate copy words from the job description verbatim? Absolutely not. That would signal a particular level of laziness by the candidate. You should, however, review the job description and capture the spirit of any job prerequisites.
• Never underestimate the importance of extending sincere gratitude for the opportunity to interview. Ensure that you have a writing utensil and piece of paper to capture names of anyone interviewing you. And verify the correct spellings. If there are multiple individuals asking questions, don’t write the same canned response to everyone. Craft a different thank you note for anyone involved in the interview process. This process may be considered old school, but what it reflects that you are serious about the opportunity. E-mail can work, but I suggest you make a trip to Target and purchase some blank thank you cards. After the interview, find a location to write your thank you cards and drop them off at the front desk – same day. If your interview was already tight; this extra measure can leave an indelible mark in their memory and separate you from the pack.

If I may offer some gentle advice to any new manager or supervisor: document, document, and document. And if you are a veteran leader in people management, but have mistakenly failed to perform this required practice, well, it would behoove you to document, document, and document some more immediately. Trust, an otherwise quaint work environment can become as brutal as Game of Thrones at the drop of a dime. The emergence of deceit, politics, jealously, power struggle, manipulation, and outright hate would make Cersei Lannister a proud, blushing queen. Managing a wide array of unique personalities, you can trust that at some point a colleague is going to come at you sideways. And in the event when that occurs, it is paramount that you are appropriately armed with receipts. I am speaking about recorded documentation of events and conversations that can confidently address any allegation, accusation, denial, work violation, so on and so forth.

A comprehension record of critical incidents at work is vital, especially if human resources need to be involved in a delicate situation. Let me be perfectly clear, documenting either issues with productivity or behavior should not be utilized with the intent to terminate any employee. Rather, the purpose documentation is to articulate a clear timeline of events, set clear expectations of job performance, and ensure that everyone has the same knowledge of company policies, procedures, changes, upcoming events, etc. It is all about communication with the colleague. Unfortunately, it is also to protect yourself in case a colleague decides to go full Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) on you – manipulating both facts and people to bring about your downfall. Nope, you have to go full Sansa Stark and start running those receipts until they have no room to wiggle out of their deceit and treachery. Alright, enough Game of Thrones callbacks, here are a few reasons why it is important to keep detailed notes when in the role of management.

• E-mail timestamps are a beautiful thing to behold. It captures the date, time, and any recipients that have received the electronic transmission of important information. This electronic signature can be invaluable when someone attempts to muddy a timeline of events or outright deny something occurred. And to take it up a notch, configure the e-mail to request a Read Receipt, which notifies you when your e-mail has been delivered and opened by the receiver. Save that Read Receipt if ever a dispute arises with anyone revising history.
• If you are communicating directly with a subordinate, and the conversation begs for a second set of eyes, blind copy your immediate leadership so they are aware of any worthy communication that should be captured. You never want your boss to be blindsided by a situation if a colleague decides to go rouge and torch the entire department. Your boss does not necessarily need to act on the matter. This exercise is merely a courtesy heads-up for awareness.
• The work environment can be hectic with an ever-changing landscape of policy and protocol. Therefore, if you find yourself leading a team huddle or meeting, it would be wise to assign the task of taking minutes to a colleague so it can be distributed via e-mail (there’s that timestamp again). This is a step to make sure everyone is on the same page. However, you will STILL have that one employee that will deny they were told anything. Luckily for you, those minutes are a timestamped record that they were duly informed. And if not taking minutes, jot down a brief summary of the team discussion and e-mail accordingly.
• You would be performing a great service to yourself, because even if you don’t have it committed to memory, understanding the company’s mission and vision should help guide your management style as a leader. Copy and paste that company doctrine and slap it on a desktop sticky note. What does that have to do with document, document, and document? Because, if the situation ever calls for corrective action (either verbal or written), you should be armed with HR policy and procedures at the ready to deliver to an employee. Used in tandem with the knowledge of the mission and vision, you should be able to confidently deliver any appropriate corrective action with the company’s own language in black and white. And by the way, even “verbal” corrective actions should be documented.
• On the topic of corrective action, omit any personal feelings or opinion on the employee matter. Rather, speak specifically to either employee behavior or productivity in regard to how they are not aligned with the company policy or protocol. Focus on areas of opportunity for improvement. In regard to either behavior or productivity, there should not be any surprises, as a manager should keep the employee informed of both. A detailed capture of any check-ins/reviews should be provided to the employee.
• Does your company utilize a messaging software platform such as Microsoft 365 Teams? If so, well yes, those communications should be captured and filed away in another application such as Microsoft 365 OneNote. If that is not available, you can go the old-school route and file it away in a desktop folder. And you can be extra cautious by printing out any communications and filing it away in a physical folder – in a secure location of course. Whatever internal messaging platform your company is using; this can be an excellent way to document any important information that should be noted.
• Every situation will not need an immediate corrective action. However, it is important to take notes that detail an ongoing situation. Email those notes to yourself so that the date of the occurrence is recorded and timestamped. If you find yourself in a tense situation with a colleague, state that the present behavior does not align with company or department policy, indicate you will be discussing the situation with upper management, and if further action is required you will be in contact. And then kindly excuse yourself from the interaction. Immediately record the event while still fresh in your memory but give yourself time to cool off if you are rattled or out of sorts emotionally. It is tough, but remember, you simply need to record the occurrence and utilize company/department policy to support your recommendation (if any) for corrective measures.

Hi everyone. I hope everyone enjoyed and had a joyous Christmas. Well, COVID-19 finally decided to visit the Palmer household. Somehow miraculously, I was not infected by the virus, but the rest of my family were not as fortunate. Thankfully, everyone has recovered and are healthy, but during that time I just did not have to energy to write as I was holding down the house. Soon after, I was especially busy with the requisite Christmas shopping, decorating, wrapping, and other various happenings going on with the holiday. And when I finally sat down to write, I received an odd error message regarding my Internet connection not being secure.

Therefore, I could not post any content on the Internet. The WordPress team finally resolved that issue, so I wanted to check in with a fun post about a daddy/daughter sneaker ball I attended a few weeks ago. Now, I probably own well over one hundred pairs of footwear, yet surprisingly only two pairs in that collection are sneakers. I do own some sneaker/dress shoe variants from Allen Edmonds, but those are suited more for business casual environments. The dance offered me the opportunity to blow the dust off my Converse sneakers and hit the town with my daughter. Here is how it all came together.

• For a gentleman, it is always savvy to smartly complement your companion’s outfit. My daughter’s dress was pink, so I decided to wear a pink button-down dress shirt.
• To accessorize the look, I selected a pocket square, a flower lapel button, and striped socks all in varying hues of lavender or pink.
• I wanted to convey a sophisticated street presentation, so I ditched the necktie and paired some dark denim jeans with a powder blue sport coat.
• Of course, I had to top off the look with an elegant, gentleman’s brim.
• Since it was a sneaker ball, the shoes really needed to be the highlight of the outfit. I must admit, I bought this particular model/color with my daughter in mind about a year ago. I am somewhat of a serious guy, so I wanted a playful and colorful pair of sneakers to contrast my personality. The sneakers complemented her playful shoes and tights perfectly.
• This was the first time I had dressed up in a long time. My sneakers garnered compliments all evening long. I think the biggest nod of approval was from an elderly man I saw in a store (I stopped to get my daughter dessert afterwards). He was literally staring me up and down. When he realized how long he was staring at me, he offered an apology, and expressed appreciation for my outfit – especially the hat and shoes.
• I think outfit worked really well. I think I will try to look more in the future. Converse is in the midst of a sale with some really cool colors and models to offer.

A wise gentleman understands that it is his obligation to prioritize, promote, and protect his inner peace & well-being. Mastering both peace & well-being, a gentleman must define and be a staunch advocate for establishing boundaries and eliminating stressful environments. It is not his responsibility to compromise his comfort or suffer the misery of others. Becoming a passive participant in matters that agitate your spirit is never healthy. A gentleman should give himself to activities that facilitate mindfulness and personal growth. Here are five ways I am learning to guard and nurture my peace.

• On occasion, to connect with oneself, you need to disconnect from the turbulence in the world. Yes, I attempt to stay abreast of current events. Nevertheless, the news can be a nasty business that traffics in emotional manipulation with inflammatory rhetoric and targeted influence. Therefore, I am mindful of what I watch on television in terms of receiving information. If I watch television, I love a good comedy series. You can never go wrong with Sanford & Son!
• I remember when social media platforms were environments where friends & family could share achievements, establish social connections, reconnect with old acquaintances, and provide whimsical updates regarding life. Now, it is just fertile ground for hyperbolic, sensationalized clickbait dealing in disagreeable culture war debates. If it does not apply, I just scroll on by. And disabling accounts altogether may be a good option as well.
• I can be described as antisocial. However, family & close friends understand that I am just not talkative. And I have learned that if the vibe with a person or in a group gathering is off; it is best that I just separate myself from the situation. I really don’t have the talent for being fake to go along just to get along. I tend to avoid meanspirited people with conceited, cantankerous temperaments. That type of attitude does not align with my core values, and interaction can be extremely exhausting. Identify those individuals that are a drain on your spirit and either avoid or sever ties.
• I have learned that sometimes the best response is no response. Regardless of your diligence to avoid it; misery will always find a path to intersect with your life. Sometimes you have to walk away because granting your energy toward something that produces negative returns is not fruitful.
• I seek and embrace settings that encourage peace and reduce stress. Of course, this will be different for everyone. Personally, I am fond of darkness (if the setting permits) with the sound of the ocean, rain, or a thunderstorm playing on my Google Nest Mini. I immerse myself in deep thoughts of gratitude. I positively reflect on my past, the present, and what I would like to see for the future. And sometimes I just close my eyes and become lost in the sounds of nature (via the Google Nest Mini). I find word search puzzles amazingly relaxing. And in the summer, I sit on my porch and enjoy my garden; watching butterflies and bees come and go.

Please share how you find peace in your life. If you appreciate and enjoy the content, please drop a like on the post and share with family, friends, or someone in need of a good word. Appreciate you all.