Nowadays, this is what life as a father looks like for me. I am a gentleman of a certain age and grace that now resides in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. My beard is markedly adorned with dignified speckles of white and grey now. My woeful hairline retreated from battle decades ago. My children are growing older now, and Father Time did not sit idly by on my behalf. School events are becoming plentiful, and it is important a father attempt to attend as many as humanly possible. Therefore, school events beg for a presentation from a gentleman that looks the part of a parent. I have always reasoned with myself that I would not be the guy in his 40s foolishly attempting to look like a guy in his 20s. Hello Cliff Huxtable sweaters. Now, I was able to purchase this graphic fleece sweatshirt from Brooks Brothers on a substantial seasonal sale. The goal was to juxtapose a lighthearted, fashionable centerpiece with my otherwise serious demeanor.

An unserious, quirky sweatshirt; I have been able to rediscover and renew my creative personality traits after shedding over 70 pounds. I had a serious health scare back in July 2023, and I have been on the challenging road to improve my health. I will probably write about the experience in later posts. For now, I am enjoying clothing again and expressing my personality through my personal style. Layered over a button up shirt, this sweatshirt was definitely a conversation starter. I signed up to volunteer at my daughter’s school’s open house, and my Henry the Sheep top elicited a lot of compliments and questions. I paired the top with some Mugsy jeans, a Paul Stuart corduroy cap, and Sperry boots – all items middle-aged father approved. I have a few more sweaters I am waiting to rock in the future, and it appears the weather is going to present ample opportunities to sport them. Now, these types of sweaters are definitely not for everyone. You cannot take yourself too seriously, and you need to come to terms with an advancing age that pleads for suitable attire. I’m good on both accounts.

How a job candidate concludes an interview could seriously play a pivotal role securing a position in an organization. More than likely, it is the final time a candidate can clearly define themselves, summarize their skills, and express enthusiasm toward potentially joining the organization. Stakes can be considerably high with a competitive field, and a job candidate must ensure every measure is taken to court a successful outcome. The conclusion of an interview can be a conflicting combination of relief and regret, as a candidate will be thankful for surviving the question filled gauntlet but may be disappointed with their resulting performance. Confidently closing an interview affords you the opportunity to perform a high level, albeit succinct reiteration of key skills, personal attributes, and talents for consideration. Here below are a few tips.

• During the close, a candidate should ask the interviewer(s) meaningful, well-thought questions. It is important to remember that the candidate should be determining if the job is a good fit for them as well. Aside from the standard fare of hours, wages, and benefits; a candidate should be inquiring about culture, training, company/department objectives, and job expectations within their first three months of employment. This level of engagement reiterates your excitement and interest regarding the position. It would also be beneficial that you are familiar with company’s vision and mission. If it is an internal department, it would behoove you to educate yourself regarding the department’s direction or any significant projects on the horizon.
• Ensure that you present a clear vision and goal for yourself. Any personal objectives should align with the organization’s mission and vision. Again, a candidate should devote the proper time reviewing the company’s website for pertinent, detailed information. It is always wise to map out objectives and goals for your career ahead of time. It demonstrates forward-thinking and illustrates a genuine interest in the company’s future.
• A candidate should clearly, succinctly rearticulate their talents and skills. It would be wise to grant thought toward adjectives that best describe you professionally and how those characteristics apply to the position you are seeking. A candidate should review the job description, identify keywords pertaining to the position, and smartly tailor their pitch to coincide with the company’s needs. Should a candidate copy words from the job description verbatim? Absolutely not. That would signal a particular level of laziness by the candidate. You should, however, review the job description and capture the spirit of any job prerequisites.
• Never underestimate the importance of extending sincere gratitude for the opportunity to interview. Ensure that you have a writing utensil and piece of paper to capture names of anyone interviewing you. And verify the correct spellings. If there are multiple individuals asking questions, don’t write the same canned response to everyone. Craft a different thank you note for anyone involved in the interview process. This process may be considered old school, but what it reflects that you are serious about the opportunity. E-mail can work, but I suggest you make a trip to Target and purchase some blank thank you cards. After the interview, find a location to write your thank you cards and drop them off at the front desk – same day. If your interview was already tight; this extra measure can leave an indelible mark in their memory and separate you from the pack.

If I may offer some gentle advice to any new manager or supervisor: document, document, and document. And if you are a veteran leader in people management, but have mistakenly failed to perform this required practice, well, it would behoove you to document, document, and document some more immediately. Trust, an otherwise quaint work environment can become as brutal as Game of Thrones at the drop of a dime. The emergence of deceit, politics, jealously, power struggle, manipulation, and outright hate would make Cersei Lannister a proud, blushing queen. Managing a wide array of unique personalities, you can trust that at some point a colleague is going to come at you sideways. And in the event when that occurs, it is paramount that you are appropriately armed with receipts. I am speaking about recorded documentation of events and conversations that can confidently address any allegation, accusation, denial, work violation, so on and so forth.

A comprehension record of critical incidents at work is vital, especially if human resources need to be involved in a delicate situation. Let me be perfectly clear, documenting either issues with productivity or behavior should not be utilized with the intent to terminate any employee. Rather, the purpose documentation is to articulate a clear timeline of events, set clear expectations of job performance, and ensure that everyone has the same knowledge of company policies, procedures, changes, upcoming events, etc. It is all about communication with the colleague. Unfortunately, it is also to protect yourself in case a colleague decides to go full Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) on you – manipulating both facts and people to bring about your downfall. Nope, you have to go full Sansa Stark and start running those receipts until they have no room to wiggle out of their deceit and treachery. Alright, enough Game of Thrones callbacks, here are a few reasons why it is important to keep detailed notes when in the role of management.

• E-mail timestamps are a beautiful thing to behold. It captures the date, time, and any recipients that have received the electronic transmission of important information. This electronic signature can be invaluable when someone attempts to muddy a timeline of events or outright deny something occurred. And to take it up a notch, configure the e-mail to request a Read Receipt, which notifies you when your e-mail has been delivered and opened by the receiver. Save that Read Receipt if ever a dispute arises with anyone revising history.
• If you are communicating directly with a subordinate, and the conversation begs for a second set of eyes, blind copy your immediate leadership so they are aware of any worthy communication that should be captured. You never want your boss to be blindsided by a situation if a colleague decides to go rouge and torch the entire department. Your boss does not necessarily need to act on the matter. This exercise is merely a courtesy heads-up for awareness.
• The work environment can be hectic with an ever-changing landscape of policy and protocol. Therefore, if you find yourself leading a team huddle or meeting, it would be wise to assign the task of taking minutes to a colleague so it can be distributed via e-mail (there’s that timestamp again). This is a step to make sure everyone is on the same page. However, you will STILL have that one employee that will deny they were told anything. Luckily for you, those minutes are a timestamped record that they were duly informed. And if not taking minutes, jot down a brief summary of the team discussion and e-mail accordingly.
• You would be performing a great service to yourself, because even if you don’t have it committed to memory, understanding the company’s mission and vision should help guide your management style as a leader. Copy and paste that company doctrine and slap it on a desktop sticky note. What does that have to do with document, document, and document? Because, if the situation ever calls for corrective action (either verbal or written), you should be armed with HR policy and procedures at the ready to deliver to an employee. Used in tandem with the knowledge of the mission and vision, you should be able to confidently deliver any appropriate corrective action with the company’s own language in black and white. And by the way, even “verbal” corrective actions should be documented.
• On the topic of corrective action, omit any personal feelings or opinion on the employee matter. Rather, speak specifically to either employee behavior or productivity in regard to how they are not aligned with the company policy or protocol. Focus on areas of opportunity for improvement. In regard to either behavior or productivity, there should not be any surprises, as a manager should keep the employee informed of both. A detailed capture of any check-ins/reviews should be provided to the employee.
• Does your company utilize a messaging software platform such as Microsoft 365 Teams? If so, well yes, those communications should be captured and filed away in another application such as Microsoft 365 OneNote. If that is not available, you can go the old-school route and file it away in a desktop folder. And you can be extra cautious by printing out any communications and filing it away in a physical folder – in a secure location of course. Whatever internal messaging platform your company is using; this can be an excellent way to document any important information that should be noted.
• Every situation will not need an immediate corrective action. However, it is important to take notes that detail an ongoing situation. Email those notes to yourself so that the date of the occurrence is recorded and timestamped. If you find yourself in a tense situation with a colleague, state that the present behavior does not align with company or department policy, indicate you will be discussing the situation with upper management, and if further action is required you will be in contact. And then kindly excuse yourself from the interaction. Immediately record the event while still fresh in your memory but give yourself time to cool off if you are rattled or out of sorts emotionally. It is tough, but remember, you simply need to record the occurrence and utilize company/department policy to support your recommendation (if any) for corrective measures.

Hi everyone. I hope everyone enjoyed and had a joyous Christmas. Well, COVID-19 finally decided to visit the Palmer household. Somehow miraculously, I was not infected by the virus, but the rest of my family were not as fortunate. Thankfully, everyone has recovered and are healthy, but during that time I just did not have to energy to write as I was holding down the house. Soon after, I was especially busy with the requisite Christmas shopping, decorating, wrapping, and other various happenings going on with the holiday. And when I finally sat down to write, I received an odd error message regarding my Internet connection not being secure.

Therefore, I could not post any content on the Internet. The WordPress team finally resolved that issue, so I wanted to check in with a fun post about a daddy/daughter sneaker ball I attended a few weeks ago. Now, I probably own well over one hundred pairs of footwear, yet surprisingly only two pairs in that collection are sneakers. I do own some sneaker/dress shoe variants from Allen Edmonds, but those are suited more for business casual environments. The dance offered me the opportunity to blow the dust off my Converse sneakers and hit the town with my daughter. Here is how it all came together.

• For a gentleman, it is always savvy to smartly complement your companion’s outfit. My daughter’s dress was pink, so I decided to wear a pink button-down dress shirt.
• To accessorize the look, I selected a pocket square, a flower lapel button, and striped socks all in varying hues of lavender or pink.
• I wanted to convey a sophisticated street presentation, so I ditched the necktie and paired some dark denim jeans with a powder blue sport coat.
• Of course, I had to top off the look with an elegant, gentleman’s brim.
• Since it was a sneaker ball, the shoes really needed to be the highlight of the outfit. I must admit, I bought this particular model/color with my daughter in mind about a year ago. I am somewhat of a serious guy, so I wanted a playful and colorful pair of sneakers to contrast my personality. The sneakers complemented her playful shoes and tights perfectly.
• This was the first time I had dressed up in a long time. My sneakers garnered compliments all evening long. I think the biggest nod of approval was from an elderly man I saw in a store (I stopped to get my daughter dessert afterwards). He was literally staring me up and down. When he realized how long he was staring at me, he offered an apology, and expressed appreciation for my outfit – especially the hat and shoes.
• I think outfit worked really well. I think I will try to look more in the future. Converse is in the midst of a sale with some really cool colors and models to offer.

A wise gentleman understands that it is his obligation to prioritize, promote, and protect his inner peace & well-being. Mastering both peace & well-being, a gentleman must define and be a staunch advocate for establishing boundaries and eliminating stressful environments. It is not his responsibility to compromise his comfort or suffer the misery of others. Becoming a passive participant in matters that agitate your spirit is never healthy. A gentleman should give himself to activities that facilitate mindfulness and personal growth. Here are five ways I am learning to guard and nurture my peace.

• On occasion, to connect with oneself, you need to disconnect from the turbulence in the world. Yes, I attempt to stay abreast of current events. Nevertheless, the news can be a nasty business that traffics in emotional manipulation with inflammatory rhetoric and targeted influence. Therefore, I am mindful of what I watch on television in terms of receiving information. If I watch television, I love a good comedy series. You can never go wrong with Sanford & Son!
• I remember when social media platforms were environments where friends & family could share achievements, establish social connections, reconnect with old acquaintances, and provide whimsical updates regarding life. Now, it is just fertile ground for hyperbolic, sensationalized clickbait dealing in disagreeable culture war debates. If it does not apply, I just scroll on by. And disabling accounts altogether may be a good option as well.
• I can be described as antisocial. However, family & close friends understand that I am just not talkative. And I have learned that if the vibe with a person or in a group gathering is off; it is best that I just separate myself from the situation. I really don’t have the talent for being fake to go along just to get along. I tend to avoid meanspirited people with conceited, cantankerous temperaments. That type of attitude does not align with my core values, and interaction can be extremely exhausting. Identify those individuals that are a drain on your spirit and either avoid or sever ties.
• I have learned that sometimes the best response is no response. Regardless of your diligence to avoid it; misery will always find a path to intersect with your life. Sometimes you have to walk away because granting your energy toward something that produces negative returns is not fruitful.
• I seek and embrace settings that encourage peace and reduce stress. Of course, this will be different for everyone. Personally, I am fond of darkness (if the setting permits) with the sound of the ocean, rain, or a thunderstorm playing on my Google Nest Mini. I immerse myself in deep thoughts of gratitude. I positively reflect on my past, the present, and what I would like to see for the future. And sometimes I just close my eyes and become lost in the sounds of nature (via the Google Nest Mini). I find word search puzzles amazingly relaxing. And in the summer, I sit on my porch and enjoy my garden; watching butterflies and bees come and go.

Please share how you find peace in your life. If you appreciate and enjoy the content, please drop a like on the post and share with family, friends, or someone in need of a good word. Appreciate you all.