With lockdown making us crave green spaces more than ever before, it's no surprise that gardening has enjoyed a huge boom in popularity. A study published in August found that millennials have spent an average of £213 on their balcony, outdoor space or indoor garden during lockdown.
Whatever happens next, whether there's a nationwide second lockdown or not, our love of house plants and apartment gardening is here to stay. So it's definitely interesting to check out new research by the folks at Love the Garden, who analysed the most popular garden-related hashtags on Instagram with a view to predicting the biggest trends of 2021.
The good news? Though some of the results will be purely aspirational for most of us, there's plenty of gardening inspo here whether you have a tiny garden, balcony garden, or no garden at all.
#balconygardening
Get the right plants for your balcony and you can turn it into your very own little green oasis.
#wildgarden
Even if you're lucky enough to have a garden, chances are that it's not exactly wild. Still, this is a fun hashtag to scroll through for plant ideas.
#insideoutside
This one's versatile – #insideoutside can mean super-fancy glass-roofed rooms and conservatories, or simply bringing a bit of the outdoors inside with plants and wild flowers.
It sounds fancy, but permaculture gardening – an abbreviation for "permanent agriculture" – simply means harnessing the power of natural forces like wind, sun and water rather than chemicals to make the most of your garden. You're probably doing it without even realising it.
#whitegarden
This one's as self-explanatory as it is pretty.
#windowsillgarden
If you don't have a balcony or outdoor space, this hashtag's the one to peruse for indoor gardening inspo.
#greygardens
This hashtag is probably trending in part due to the enduring popularity of cult documentary filmGrey Gardens. Still, grey garden furniture is pretty chic, no?
#cottagegardens
Well, there's no harm in looking, is there?
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Based in London, the content subscription service is a platform which allows content creators to earn money from users (or “fans”) who subscribe to their feeds for a monthly fee.
Though many different forms of video and photo content are uploaded to the platform, OnlyFans is best known for its premium adult content including nude photos and sex videos.
In addition to monthly subscriptions, creators can earn money from tips and the PPV (pay per view) feature, which allows them to charge users an additional sum to access a particular piece of content.
The controversy surrounding Thorne’s OnlyFans account snowballed when several content creators accused her of causing policy changes which limit how much they can receive in tips and charge for PPV messages.
These creators have alleged that these policy changes were implemented by OnlyFans after Thorne reportedly charged users $200 for a “nude” PPV message that wasn’t fully nude.
In a lengthy Twitter thread, OnlyFans creator Erika Heidewald claimed that because so many users requested a full $200 refund after receiving Thorne’s PPV message, the content subscription service introduced a new policy capping the maximum price for a PPV message at $50 and the maximum tip at $100.
Heidewald also said that OnlyFans has implemented a new policy whereby creators will be paid monthly, rather than weekly, from now on.
To be able to pay all those people back and prevent such a massive chargeback problem in the future, OnlyFans changes their policies so now the maximum price for a PPV message is $50, maximum tip someone can send is $100, and all the money you make on OF is pending for 30 days.
— Erika Onlyfans Hoedewald (@erikaheidewald) August 28, 2020
is no one gonna talk about how Bella Thorne fu*ked up OnlyFans for the rest of us? She scammed a bunch of ppl and OnlyFans now has all these restrictions that prevents us from making as much money & I’ll stay mad about it
An OnlyFans representative has since told Vulture that it “confirms that any changes to transaction limits are not based on any one user,” but did not elaborate any further on Thorne’s use of her account.
Thorne has now responded to criticism from OnlyFans content creators. In a Twitter thread, she said she had joined the platform to “remove the stigma behind sex, sex work, and the negativity that surrounds the word SEX itself by bringing a mainstream face to it”.
She added in a later tweet, “When you have a voice, a platform, you try to use you in helping others and advocate for something bigger than yourself. Again in this process I hurt you and for that I’m truly sorry.”
Thorne also said she is meeting with OnlyFans executives to discuss the platform’s new restrictions, adding: “This is fucked up and I’m sorry (sic) comment any ideas or concerns you want brought up to OF!!”
“And send me your links and a pic so I can promote you guys,” she added.
PT1 Remove the stigma behind sex, sex work, and the negativity that surrounds the word SEX itself by bringing a mainstream face to it that’s what I was trying to do, to help bring more faces to the site to create more revenue for content creators on the site.
I wanted to bring attention to the site, the more people on the site the more likely of a chance to normalize the stigmas, And in trying to do this I hurt you. I have risked my career a few times to remove the stigma behind sex work, porn, and the natural hatred people spew…
behind anything sex related. I wrote and directed a porn against the high brows of my peers and managers because I WANTED to help with the stigma behind sex.
…I am a mainstream face and when you have a voice, a platform, you try to use you in helping others and advocate for something bigger than yourself. Again in this process I hurt you and for that I’m truly sorry.
Ps. I’m meeting with only fans about the new restrictions to find out why!!! This is fucked up and I’m sorry comment any ideas or concerns you want brought up to OF!! and send me your links and a pic so I can promote you guys
Even if you’re not partaking in Dry January, you probably know someone who is. Giving up alcohol for an entire month following the festive excess of December has become an increasingly common New Year health kick. In fact, one in five Americans said they were attempting the boozeless challenge in 2019 (but it’s untold who actually made it the full 31 days).
It’s not tricky to figure out exactly why Dry January has become so popular. Those abstaining from alcohol are more likely to save money, sleep better and enjoy an array of health and wellness benefits like improved skin and reduced blood pressure. If you’re a regular drinker, you’ll also give your liver a well-deserved break.
All that said, while Dry January may be admirable, it’s also highly challenging — especially if you’re aiming to stay active on the dating scene. “Dating during January can be overwhelming for people undertaking the Dry January challenge,” House of Ardent’s sex and relationships expert Lianne Young. “I mean, what do you drink when you're out on a date if it's not something to help relax your nerves?”
However, Young points out that while alcoholic drinks “might help with nerves,” they should never be allowed to become “a crutch or personality replacement.”
“It’s good to get to know someone sober because that way you get to know the real them, and that’s really what is important," she adds.
With this in mind, here’s a guide to dating during Dry January that’ll hopefully remove any pre-meetup anxiety knowing alcohol won’t be in play.
1. It’s Completely Fine to Feel a Little Nervous
"Being nervous before a date is normal," says Dru Jaeger, co-author of “How to Be a Mindful Drinker: Cut Down, Stop For a Bit, or Quit,” a guide to help moderate your drinking habits. “It’s tempting to try to cover up those nerves with a drink, but it’s a quick and dirty fix. It's better to acknowledge your nerves and then focus on the other person.”
Jaeger says this approach has two clear benefits: It'll distract you from feeling nervous, and “it will probably make your date feel really good that you're paying them so much attention.”
2. Be Upfront About the Fact You’re Doing Dry January
If you’re used to going on dates that revolve around alcohol, you might feel self-conscious about telling your date that you won’t be drinking. After all, there’s a lingering stigma around being teetotal that might make you worry you’ll come off as boring without a beer in your hand. Whatever you do, don’t let this play on your mind.
“It might feel like a big deal for you, but [your not drinking] is just another fact about you for them," notes Jaeger. “If they react badly, don't stress about it. You wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't support your choices anyway.”
3. Expand Your Idea of What a Date Should Be
A somewhat obvious alternative to meeting for drinks? Convening for coffee instead. "Coffee dates are great if you’re looking to build a long-term relationship because they're slower and more absorbing," says Young.
However, Young concedes that coffee dates have a tendency to become a bit bland over time, suggesting to use your creative side when thinking about ways to get to know one another.
"Remember that dates don't have to be hours long, and they don't have to be in the evening," states Jaeger, who recommends "a trip to a gallery or a walk in the park" as relaxing options, and rollerskating or rock climbing as more energetic ones. "But really, the options are as endless as your imagination."
Once you get beyond the idea that dating has to involve drinking, you might find it becomes a more stimulating and rewarding process. Even if there’s no romantic spark between you and your date, you’ll still have shared an enriching life experience.
4. If You End Up at a Bar Anyway, Mocktails Can Be Your Friend
Classic cocktails without the booze have come a long way since your parents would treat you to a Shirley Temple on family holidays. Ask your bartender to rustle up something surprising and booze-free, and they’ll almost certainly oblige.
5. Remember the Positive Effects That Come With Sober Dating
"The main benefit of sober dating is that you're going to remember your date," says Jaeger. “Whether it goes brilliantly, terribly or most likely somewhere in between, you can be confident that you stayed in control, presented your best self and were really able to pay attention to the person you dated.”
You’re also more likely to know for sure whether you want to see that person again, which is crucial to dating efficiently and successfully.
And you’ve heard of a little thing called whiskey d*ck, right? Even the great William Shakespeare rather cutely referred to alcohol’s negative effect on our sexual endeavors as “brewer's droop.” It’s worth remembering that another highlight of dating without alcohol during Dry January could be more adventurous and engaging sex (that you actually remember, too).
Ghosting is a modern dating phenomenon that's almost become a grim rite of passage.
According to a 2016 survey, nearly 80 percent of millennial singles have experienced the slow-building sense of rejection that creeps up as you gradually realize the person you’ve been seeing isn’t going to message you again. . No, they haven’t just been busy, and no, they haven’t had their phone stolen. At this point in proceedings, embarrassment and disappointment can curdle into anger as it dawns on you that the person didn’t even have the decency to tell you it was over.
Ghosting is a toxic by-product of "the lack of accountability that people have to themselves and each other in the modern world of meeting,” explains relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan. She believes that as we’ve become more connected online, we’ve become more disconnected in real life, losing some of the "communication tools" we need to deal with difficult and emotionally complex conversations.
"Some people choose to simply disappear," she explains, "especially if they don't feel any chemistry or a romantic connection with someone, but feel overwhelmed at the prospect of having to explain this."
But here’s the thing: Some may hurt more than others, but in reality, ghosting sucks for everyone involved.
"It can have a lot of negative outcomes for both parties in terms of experiencing a fear of rejection in the future," says Ryan. If you’re someone who’s ghosted others on a regular basis, she adds, you could end up “living with a lack of closure" or feeling as though you’re unable to "work through a relationship and conflict to deepen human connection." That doesn’t sound promising for any of your future romantic prospects, does it?
If you’re still iffy on the idea of becoming a reformed ghoster, just know that it’s not just the gentlemanly thing to do – it's also a way to improve your own self-worth and keep your conscience clear.
With this in mind, here are five key ways to break the habit.
Tips to Becoming a Reformed Ghoster
1. Stop Making Excuses so You’ll Feel Better
They're always a variation on classic self-denials: "Maybe it's kinder just to stop messaging?" or "What if they take the rejection really badly and get abusive?" Relationship psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree of the Vida Consultancy thinks it's "mostly a fantasy" that sending someone a clear message of rejection will provoke a disproportionate emotional reaction.
"I doubt many people who are told things aren’t going forward [in a relationship] will act out in some kind of dramatic fashion that you're unable to handle," she says.
2. Put Yourself in the Other Person's Shoes
you down gently [than be ghosted]," advises Ryan. "Be upfront and be clear – you’ll leave with your integrity intact and still hopefully have respect for one another."
It's still acceptable to be somewhat vague if you don't have a concrete reason for ending things.
"Just let them know you don’t quite feel the same, even if you're not so sure of the reason why," she adds. After all, an imperfect kind of closure is better than none.
3. Remember That You Might Change Your Mind
It might sound corny, but sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time — for instance, if you've just come out of a long-term relationship and connect with someone who wants to get serious a little too quickly. On an entirely selfish level, it pays to keep your options open by treating the person you're ending things with respectfully. "By giving the other person a clear message, you actually 'maintain the bridge,'" says relationship expert Mason Roantree. "So if you regret your decision at a later time, you stand a better chance of being accepted by that person if you try to reach out to them again."
4. Ghosting Can Be Warranted, but Only Under Specific Circumstances
"When someone is being inappropriate, aggressive, abusive or insulting, there's no need to engage with bad behavior," says Roantree. "For some people the very act of you texting them, even if it's to say 'I don't want to see you again', is interpreted as interest, and they'll continue to pester you."
In this situation, having to ghost that person may be inevitable because "the only message they’re likely to understand is silence and no contact whatsoever," adds Roantree.
5. Whatever You Do, Don’t Be Hasty
This one really comes into play when you're considering ghosting a person you've been chatting with on a dating app.
"Nothing can compare to real human connection," says Ryan. "Unless they've done something absolutely outlandish, you should really consider giving a meeting a shot."
Ryan also points out that "you never know what sparks will fly in person," and cautions that "the connections you make online are really just pseudo-relationships until you take the plunge and meet them in real life."
Even if you’re not completely convinced by someone’s personality through their messages, it could pay to arrange a casual coffee date and see what happens.
