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Back in prehistoric times, when thrifting was relegated to brick-and-mortar venues only, the very act of second-hand shopping was marked by serendipity. It was a “stumble upon” economy whereby some of us were eternally luckier than others. In the present tense, though — when “thrifting” implies Poshmark search terms, Depop “influencers,” and certificates of authentication from The RealReal — the whole project of resale is an indisputably calculated affair. And for veteran thrift dealer Lucy Bergstrom, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

“When I was young, thrifting wasn’t cool,” she says. “I remember being so embarrassed about the fact that I purchased all my clothes second-hand. But in recent years, it feels like we’ve totally turned that notion on its head — and in a big way, we have social media to thank.”

In spite of her young reticence, Bergstrom grew to love the process of combing through thrifted garments. And by the time she went to college to study fashion merchandising — and familiarized herself with the looming evils of fast fashion — she was firmly devoted to the project of opening a vintage shop of her own with sustainability at the heart of its mission. And thus, Moby Thrift was born: a roving thrift store housed in an airstream trailer in Utah, helmed by Bergstrom and her husband Drew.

At the time, in 2005, IRL thrift shopping was simply the standard. There was no Facebook Marketplace, there were no “Depop Girls” — and while vintage stores were using Instagram as a marketing tool, on the whole, they weren’t using their social media platforms to actually sell their products. But Bergstrom noted that this felt like a missed opportunity. “The point of being mobile as a store was to reach as many people as possible, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how many more people we could reach online — so we started selling on Instagram,” she says. “Our home essentially became a shipping locker. You couldn’t see an inch of it under all the vintage clothes.”

As a mode of guerilla marketing, in the hopes of getting eyes on their Instagram shop, Bergstrom and her husband partnered with a number of local influencers who were vying to sell their clothes, and offered to take over the project. In exchange for promotion on the influencers’ feeds, Moby Thrift would sell, package, and ship their clothes for them. “We’ve never paid for an ad, but those influencers alone earned us tens of thousands of followers right at the get-go — and we realized we really could run a thrift store on Instagram.”

At present, the shop’s modes of operation have shifted slightly. Beyond Instagram sales (which are still thriving), you can also shop Moby Thrift’s goods in a dedicated brick-and-mortar location in Provo, Utah — one of the first vintage retail venues in the state. And while they’ve run out of time (and space) to hawk influencer’s clothing, they have added some new features to their inventory: Beyond second-hand goods, they’ve also been customizing vintage T-shirts and adding creative detailing to repurposed garments through the use of their trusty, beloved Cricut smart cutting machine.

As if that’s not enough, in 2020, Bergstrom also found the time to launch a second business on the side: Retroflect. Born out of the same sustainability mission, the newly formed venture is all about turning vintage mirrors into works of art. Using her own handmade Cricut stencils, Bergstrom paints, draws, or illustrates on said mirrors, repurposing the antique goods as custom works of art. And in the vein of marketing, she’s found a new digital platform to boost sales: “TikTok has been a major help with Retroflect,” she says. “When we were getting started, I posted a video about my process — and it instantly went viral. It drove so many sales. So, now I’m just trying to keep that momentum going.”

In the meanwhile, as our social media landscape continues to shapeshift — and in turn, so too do our modes of buying and selling vintage garb — we sat down with Bergstrom to chat about the future of thrifting. Ahead, learn more about customized vintage, TikTok marketing, and the ins and outs of a social media thrift economy.

Where do you source the items you sell? 

“We started off just buying in bulk from other thrift vendors — in person, or on Craigslist, or on eBay. We’d purchase these huge bundles of stuff, and we’d spend hours and hours every day digging through giant stores, trying to find the pieces we thought our customers would be interested in. We probably did that for about a year before we started accepting large portions of our inventory from influencers. 

“Now, since Drew is doing most of the buying for Moby Thrift, he’s really become part of a thrifting community. He makes trades with other re-sellers, or he sources through vintage-forward communities on Facebook Marketplace. We attend the occasional estate sale. And then, we customize some pieces of our own.”

What kinds of custom pieces are you making?

“Of late, we’ve started recreating vintage style T-shirts. Last year, we came out with a vintage-style Princess Diana shirt by silk screening second-hand tees — and it was so popular, it sold out several times. But for the most part, we’re adding our own custom tags to garments with our Cricut machine, designing labels on baseball cards, and adding little personal bits of stitching or color on pieces we’re feeling excited about. That part of the business is what feels really special: Thanks to Cricut, we get to add such a unique, individualized touch to everything we make. We leave our mark.

“Then, in the home goods realm, I’m taking vintage mirrors and other used home goods and painting or drawing onto them with homemade Cricut stencils, I recently made a pair of these twin, giant ‘70s-style mirrors with rainbows stretching across, and I totally love how they turned out. It’s just been such a fun process because we get to exercise all this creativity without going against our sustainability mission. We just love bringing that individuality to people’s homes and wardrobes while also taking care of the planet.

“That said, it’s really, really hard to scale something on a custom level when you’re as small of an operation as we are. So, often, we’ll have these ideas, but we just won’t have the means to produce enough quantity to keep up with demand. But regardless of what happens on the custom end, we don’t want to lose the vintage feel. We still want to bring things back from the dead — but we also want to add some little personal flair. So…we’re still in the trial-and-error phase of executing that.”

What was the process of opening your brick-and-mortar store like? 

“We actually opened in the midst of the pandemic — this past December. Of course, we were nervous about it — but we knew we’d follow precautions, and we’d been making a steady income throughout the whole quarantine period since we’d always been a social media-first vendor. And we kind of felt like it could be a nice soft start — we could see how it went having the brick-and-mortar space without getting too overwhelmed, since we’d only been online for years. 

“That said, it’s something we had wanted for a really long time. Over the past few years, we’ve done a ton of pop-up shops — almost monthly. And that’s where a huge quantity of our sales were coming from. The problem was, our entire house was just full of inventory. So it was kind of nice to take our time moving our full inventory into this new space. But we don’t want to be open all the time — we kind of want to treat this space like a more formal pop-up. We want to be open around two days a week to still preserve that special, pop-up feel. And last October, when we stumbled upon this perfect space, we felt like we had to take it. Even though it was during the pandemic, and we weren’t making as much money as we were used to, we just couldn’t let this opportunity pass us by.”

Do you still sell on Instagram in addition to your brick-and-mortar shop? 

“We do use Instagram to sell, still — and it’s still where most of our sales are coming from. We have a website as well, and we sell plenty of things in stores, but we can just reach so many more people online. Around once a week, we’ll do an IG story sale where we’ll just throw a bunch of clothes up on our story, and people message us if they want to purchase.  Then, our website is mostly for rarer, more expensive collector’s items. Things that we don’t expect to casually sell in stores or on Instagram. And this applies both to our clothing and our home goods. It’s just kind of a fully combined enterprise.”

Can you tell me about your experience using TikTok as a marketing tool, in addition to Instagram?

“It’s been a journey, and I’m totally still learning. It definitely has its ups and downs. The first Retroflect TikTok post I made blew up, and I got 6,000 followers instantly, and that drove so many sales. But then, I felt like I couldn’t quite keep up! It’s hard to churn out TikTok content the way you would on a different platform. 

I still haven’t totally matched that initial video, but it was this great reminder for me that people like this content, they like this concept, they like what I’m doing. That particular video was all about walking through my DIY method, from the initial Cricut processes through the final product, so I know that works. Then, in the broader sense, I’ve really re-focused myself on video. I’m spending way more time making Reels or giving IGTV a shot because I think video, as a format, is the future of social media — so we’re going to have to get on board if we’re going to keep up. It’s just so much trial and error. but like, if you go viral, it could literally change your life. But I will say, making TikToks feels like it could be a whole, full-time job. It’s crazy. I’m so admiring of the folks who make it look so easy to make great stuff.”

Do you think this pivot to social media thrifting is a good thing in the long run? Is it changing the landscape of vintage shopping for the better? 

“It’s funny, in a way, I feel like thrifting in its current mode has developed the opposite stigma it had while I was growing up. It used to be sort of uncool and inaccessible, and now, there’s this narrative that resale is actually becoming too privileged. Often, I’ll see girls on Instagram showing off their ‘thrift hauls’ — and sometimes they’ll resell from there. Sure, there are definitely parts of that that aren’t ideal. Of course, influencers shouldn’t be sourcing from spaces that are meant for low income families, but at the same time, the world will literally never run out of clothing. The fast fashion industry has made that entirely impossible. So the more people who can recycle and who can resell, the better. I just love the idea of slowing things down — and anybody who resells is, in a way, contributing to slowing down the fashion market. 

“Of course, there are things that should change. We should absolutely be responsible about where we’re sourcing from. And I do think people get a little bit crazy with their prices — your standard, second-hand shirt doesn’t need to cost $50. But on the whole, I think that this whole realm of social media has done so much incredible work to destigmatize buying your clothing second-hand, and extending the lifecycle of a garment, and in the long run, I think it’s really the best offense against fast fashion that we have.”

Is there anything you wish the social media thrifting landscape did differently?

“As folks with public-facing fashion platforms, I think we need to find ways of becoming more democractic. Of course there will always be vendors of rare or designer goods, but I think social media provides a really cool opportunity for us to reach all different demographics with curated thrift. That’s one of the cool things about being a rare breed of thrift store in Utah — I feel like we’re drawing in a unique crowd. But in the future, I’m really hoping that Instagram initiates something similar to Facebook marketplace, where you don’t need to have a following or be ‘in the know’ to buy and sell exciting used goods. For most of Gen Z, it seems like Facebook or Craigslist are kind of lost relics, so I feel like we need that kind of service on Instagram.

“In addition to that, though, I would love for us all to spend more time on education. There’s so much false information disseminated so quickly by all kinds of brands, and I think we’d all be more conscious consumers if we really understood what was happening around us in the fast fashion industry. And this goes beyond fashion — it applies to your mattress, your appliances, your utensils, and so on. And if people really understood how easily they could purchase everything second-hand, I think they’d be doing it way more.”

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“If you were a tree, what kind would you be?” It’s the type of inane question that many people would roll their eyes at if it were asked during an icebreaker exercise or on a first date. But for Sally Gibson, the question was posed someplace much, much worse: a job interview. 

“​​I was completely thrown by it. I basically froze,” recalls Gibson, the founder and owner of Someone Sent You A Greeting. “I was silent for longer than I care to remember and ended up just saying the first tree that came into my head — elm. I didn’t elaborate any further and just lapsed into more silence and I think the interviewer realized there wasn’t much point following up as he moved on after that.” This happened about 20 years ago, and Gibson says that she still looks back at that moment and cringes. 

At the time, she kicked herself for not being more prepared for an off-the-wall question like this, because they’d become very popular in the early-2000s. Job seekers were told to expect to be asked things like: “How much does the Empire State Building weigh?” “How many golf balls would fit into a 747?” “Why are manhole covers round?” or, a question immortalized in the 2013 film The Internship, “You’re shrunk down to the size of nickels and dropped into the bottom of a blender. What do you do?” 

Privately, however, Gibson has always considered this type of question basically useless. “You don’t learn anything really insightful about the person you’re interviewing and they seem more like a ‘gotcha!’ moment or attempt to trip people up rather than be of any real value,” she says. 

Amra Beganovich says she was asked brain teaser questions “about a dozen-plus times” between 2006 and 2008, while interviewing for consulting positions as an economist for companies like IMR and Worldbank. Once, she was asked how she could place three balls into two boxes so that there were an equal number in each box. Her answer was to cut open one side of each box and combine them so they overlapped, then place one ball in each box and one in the overlapping portion. This was deemed correct, but she, too, came away with a distaste for the questions. “[They don’t] test critical thinking or creativity. People who performed best on these were mentored by others on how to answer brain-teaser questions as they often repeated in various interviews. Basically, it puts those without a mentor at a disadvantage,” says Beganovich, who’s now the CEO of a digital marketing agency, Amra & Elma.

The questions plagued job seekers across industries. While interviewing to be a dental assistant in 2018, Michelle Keldgord was asked, “You have two coins that equal 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. What coins do you have?” She knows the answer is relatively obvious (a quarter and a nickel; the quarter is the coin that’s not a nickel), but she was nervous and had already gotten off to a bad start with the interviewer, so at the time she was “dumbfounded,” she says. “I was peeved [that] I was being asked to answer a riddle in a professional environment. I don’t think it showed my wit or understanding. I would have much rather answered questions related to the dental field to show how smart I was,” says Keldgord, who went on to co-found BakingHow. 

Considering the fact that they’re nearly universally despised, you have to wonder why these questions exist in the first place. Their origin is actually a bit fuzzy. In the early-aughts, prevailing wisdom was that they were used during Google interviews. But in a 2010 post on her website, Gayle Laakmann McDowell, who had been a software engineer at Google and served on the company’s hiring committee, said that this wasn’t true. “Years ago, rumors used to circulate about Microsoft interviews,” she wrote. “They were the hot, new company that everyone wanted to work. With envy came the urban myths. These rumors have since been transfered to Google, and will surely be transfered to some new company in due time. Bloggers — always desperate for links and traffic — have capitalized on this, with scary articles about their ‘nightmare interview’ and ‘crazy questions’. Let’s just stop this right now, shall we? [sic]” She went on to state that brain teasers are explicitly banned at Google (and Microsoft) during interviews.

This post didn’t appear to quiet the rumors much, if at all, though. In a 2013 interview with The New York Times, Laszlo Bock, who spent 10 years as senior vice president of people operations at Google before leaving the company in December 2016, brought up the questions again — although he didn’t explicitly address whether or not they’d ever been used at Google. He simply said that studies the company had conducted showed “that brain teasers are a complete waste of time… They don’t predict anything. They serve primarily to make the interviewer feel smart.” 

Eric Cole, the founder of InterviewIQ, agrees. “As a hiring manager for over 35 years, and now as a career coach and interview coach, I have heard and even asked some pretty bad questions,” admits Cole. “Unfortunately, most interviewers who ask those impossible ‘brain teaser’ questions are really more interested in flexing their ego and showing off.” 

He says that brain teasers are ostensibly designed to gauge a candidate’s critical thinking: As long as the person can walk the interviewer through their logic, their answer should count as “good,” even if their actual answer to a question like “How many marbles would fit in the Louvre?” is wrong. But not every candidate has a thinking style that’s well-suited for brain teasers, Cole says. Some people are better able to think out loud than others, who may need inward reflection time before they can walk someone through their thought process. There are much better ways to gauge a candidates’ problem-solving style and critical-thinking skills than to ask them a random riddle, such as asking how people juggle competing priorities, how they best grow, the most useful lesson they’ve learned from a more senior colleague, or for an example of a time they made a mistake and how they handled it. 

Brain teasers aren’t just annoying. Cole says interviewers who rely on brain teasers can sometimes want to make a candidate feel uncomfortable — and that information might give you useful insight into that company’s culture. I spoke to a friend of mine, Sarah Hudson*, a talent director in the advertising industry in New York City with 12 years’ experience interviewing job candidates, and she says that these questions can even hint at something iffy going on at the hiring company. “Particularly as it relates to diversity, equity, and inclusion, there’s a lot of conversation going on right now about making sure that you’re standardizing questions and that you’re asking things that will get to a certain point to really understand the person,” Hudson says. If she were ever asked a brain teaser question in an interview, she’d assume the person isn’t trained in the latest interview techniques, and would see it as a red flag. 

As for Gibson, she says if someone asked her a similar question today, she thinks she’d be less easily thrown off her game — although she’d certainly be annoyed. “Having been through many interviews now I still don’t see what you gain from a question like that. I’d like to think I’d be brave enough to ask how relevant it is but I don’t suppose that would do me many favors!” she says. “I definitely think they’ve had their time though and would be surprised to find interviewers still using them.” 

Now if only we could get interviewers to do away with, “So, where do you see yourself in five years?”

*Hudson’s name was changed for privacy.

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Do you ever find yourself at a bar, standing around alone wishing you could approach that cute girl? Or maybe you're at a networking event and you really want to speak to a VIP, but then you talk yourself out of it.

You think, what's the point? It won't go well. I'm not good enough.

Your biggest problem isn't that you're not enough, it is that you don't know how to communicate with confidence.

In this article, I'm giving you 9 tips to communicate with confidence and make a great first impression.

The tips you will learn are:

1. Practice Visualization
2. Do Mental Double Checks
3. Small Talk Works
4. Leverage Appearance To Communicate With Confidence
5. Use Your Eyes To Communicate With Confidence
6. Create Good Habits
7. Try The Unconventional Tricks
8. Start Working Out
9. Make A Great First Impression To Communicate With Confidence

Communicate With Confidence Tip #1 Practice Visualization

You may think this is cheesy, but top athletes and performers use visualization to win Olympic events and perform at peak levels.

Visualizing in vivid detail is a great way to build motivation towards doing something you may find intimidating because you activate the same sensory and motor parts of the brain involved with the action you're visualizing.

Meaning that when you're visualizing, you're activating the parts of the brain as if you were ACTUALLY doing what you want to do.

So when you visualize communicating with confidence, your brain will trick you into ACTUALLY communicating with confidence.

Tip #2 Conduct A “Mental Double Check”

When you feel the urge to approach someone, you may hear that inner-critic in your head that speaks up and tells you things about how you're not good enough or how the interaction will go wrong.

To convey confidence, you're going to have to control what is going on in your head. What goes on in your head is directly reflected in your verbal and nonverbal cues.

If you're distracted or nervous, you will find yourself fidgeting or using many “uhs” and “ums” when speaking.

To stay mindful and present, I recommend a practice called the “mental double-check.” I try to do this hourly each day or every few minutes if I'm speaking with someone.

Mental double checks are simply taking a moment to observe what is going on in your mind.

Change your story change your life

You'd be surprised about what you'll realize when you start mentally double-checking yourself.

You may find that that inner voice is beating yourself up over little things or causing self-doubt. Remember, the stories and narratives you tell yourself become who you are. To build your confidence, you have to master your story by gaining control over that inner voice.

Building your confidence takes time, energy, and effort. But it's essential to take the first step and begin identifying the types of stories you're telling yourself.

So set reminders every few hours to start to observe what is happening in your mind. Are you presently focused on something important, or is your mind adrift?

You can also make it a practice to do mental double checks when you're speaking to people. It's a great way to make sure you stay engaged with the person you're talking to, which is key when you're learning how to communicate with confidence.

If you double-check yourself and realize that your mind has wandered, don't beat yourself up about it. Just have a specific “Plan B” for this scenario.

The point is that to be “in control” of your mind, it's essential to stay present. Staying present means being in the moment versus ruminating about the laundry you have to do when you get home; or all the negative self-talk about how the person you're speaking with may be judging you.

Tip #3 Make Small Talk

As a communication coach, I always hear people complain about how small talk sucks, but guess what, guys? It's super important. Here's why:

When people make first impressions, they mainly look for two main characteristics that account for 80-90% of their impressions: trustworthiness and confidence. But trustworthiness is the most critical piece.

Most men make the mistake that they're so obsessed with showing power and confidence that they forget about the importance of trustworthiness.

Amy Cuddy, the Harvard social psychologist, recommends using small talk to build trust by genuinely trying to learn about someone else. It conveys trust and warmth.

Tip #4 Master Your Personal Presentation

Research has shown that clothing is another crucial factor when it comes to making first impressions.
But the most important thing to be aware of is your audience. How are people going to dress?

You don't want to be standing out like a sore thumb.

If you're going to an event, ask if there's a dress code. If it's a party, you can also ask the host what type of attire the guests will be wearing if you're unsure.

Here are some ways for you to make your appearance work for you:

• Get a great haircut – Research from Yale shows that ‘bad hair days' dramatically affect self-esteem and social insecurity.
• Pull your socks up – Sloppy socks are for little boys, not men. Walking around with messy clothes tells your brain that you are not a man who strives for high ideals or achieves excellence.
• Tuck in your shirt – Solid, put together, and you mean business. Tucking your shirt in sends the right messages.
• Shine your shoes – Looking down and seeing that perfect mirror shine reminds you that you live by the highest standards.
• Wet shave – Wet shaving with a metal razor gives you a closer, smoother shave, is better for your skin, and saves you about $300 a year over cartridge or electric razors. And it leaves you feeling powerful, stylish, and manly.
• Take care of your nails – Taking care of your nails isn't just for women. A gentleman's nails should be neatly filed short, cleaned, and buffed.
• Wear a watch – A good-looking timepiece makes you feel powerful and masculine. It can be a status symbol or a talking point.

Tip #5 Make Eye Contact

Since your goal is to make an effective first impression that conveys trust, one of the best ways to show that is to use eye contact.

It helps show someone that you're present and paying attention, thus making them feel important. Don't you hate when you're talking to someone, and they're glancing around the room or checking their phone?

Studies show that adults make eye contact between 30-60% of the time, but people should be making eye contact 60-70% of the time to create a sense of emotional connection which is what you're trying to build.
Start practicing your eye contact. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, here are a few tips:

• Lock both of your eyes on one eye of the other person if you feel uncomfortable having a direct gaze at both of their eyes.
• If you're still uncomfortable making direct eye contact, you can focus on one eyebrow of the other person; since it's close enough to their eyes, they'll assume you're looking in their eyes even though you aren't.
• Make eye contact a habit. You can do this by practicing making eye contact for a few seconds with strangers. The point is to make it a habit, so it becomes automatic.

Tip #6 Build Good Habits

Confidence for men is waning in this day and age. Expectations are high – whether in school, work, or in the bedroom. I get it; it can seem overwhelming at times.

But creating these 5 good habits will go a long way to boosting your ability to communicate with confidence:

• Comparison – We're surrounded by images of the so-called “perfect” man. He's a man with a perfect gym body. We see success stories involving guys achieving great things in their 20s while we're here still trying to figure out our own lives. Detox from social media.
• Change the way you look at yourself – Develop a support system with those closest to you. We're talking family, friends, and especially your significant other. Seek them out and ask them what makes you a fantastic guy.
• Get organized with micro-actions – Build confidence and momentum by accomplishing as many small tasks as you can each day.
• Be prepared – Savings account, first aid, self-defense – being prepared makes you feel like there's nothing you can't handle.
• Be grateful – Express your gratitude every time it occurs to you – don't hold back!

Tip #7 Try These Confidence Hacks

I'm sure you have heard the phrase, “Fake it 'til you make it.” There are a lot of ways that you can communicate with confidence even if you don't feel it.

Showing confidence to others gives them the impression that you have confidence. They then show you the faith that your confidence gave them, raising your confidence FOR REAL.

But there are some other unconventional ways that you can hack your way into confidence:

• Duct tape your back – Fix your posture by using duct tape on your back. Stand up straight and run a long piece of duct tape down your back. Every time you slouch during the day, the tape will tug at your skin and remind you to keep your back vertical.
• Shock your system – Cold shower therapy was used to treat anxiety and depression and improve blood circulation and skin tone in ancient Ayurvedic medicine. Exposure to the cold reduces the incidence of colds by strengthening their immune system.
• Focus on your breathing – Focus on your breathing and take time out to concentrate on your inner state.
• Change your walk – When you walk into a room, walk purposely towards a person or a spot in the room. Having a focus makes you appear more confident.
• Get nude – Being confident in one's skin has a massive effect on self-esteem. If you struggle with your body image, your self-esteem and confidence take a pretty big hit. Of all the bizarre confidence boosters, getting naked does a lot to boost your confidence levels!

Tip #8 Start Working Out

A meta-analysis conducted in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology has a lot to say about men's confidence. The experiment indicated that regular exercise improves body image and confidence as a result.

Exercise mitigates the effects of cortisol – a stress hormone – and releases endorphins, improving your overall happiness.

Hit the gym, gents.

Build a routine for yourself and stick to it.

Tip #9 Nail That First Impression

Think about it, have you ever met someone and immediately formed a strong opinion about them? Snap judgments happen extremely quickly – studies have shown that these opinions form in one-tenth of a second.

Of all the characteristics we use to judge people, researchers found that attractiveness and trustworthiness are the characteristics we judge first.

Once you decide whether or not you like someone, it's pretty hard to change your mind. Why?
Humans are lazy, and after forming that opinion, there's a ton of cognitive processing (aka brain power) involved in figuring out whether your snap judgments are accurate or not.

Instead, confirmation bias gets the best of you so that you seek information that confirms what you already think about someone and that strengthens the initial judgment. As you can see, it becomes a vicious cycle.

Your social skills and confidence are intertwined; by actively working on improving these aspects of your life, you'll find yourself feeling naturally confident in social situations.

To improve your confidence, use the strategies we discussed like visualization, power poses and becoming aware of what is going on in your mind.

When it comes to approaching people, remember that first impressions matter. The goal of approaching people is to make them feel comfortable and meaningful. You can do this by using small talk, making sure you look presentable, and maintaining eye contact.

This is a guest post by communication coach Katrina Razavi, founder of CommunicationforNerds.com. 

Click below to watch the video – 10 Powerful Signs Of A Confident Man

The post Communicate With Confidence – 9 Tips To Make A Great First Impression appeared first on Real Men Real Style.

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Super Sale Alert: With the first chill of the autumn breeze comes an itch for new boots. Lucky for you, we got a super-exclusive promo code for R29-reader-favorite brand Marc Fisher. From knee-highs to Chelseas, get 20% off your whole order with the code REFINERY20 through October 10.

A reader, editor, and influencer favorite, Marc Fisher’s sleek and elegant footwear are a staple to any and all fall ‘fits. Our love affair with the high-quality shoe brand started all the way back in 2019 and continued through to the latest Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. Meticulously crafted by design powerhouses from the United States and Italy, the styles are a super-combo of both modern and classic touches. With its metaphorical thumb on the pulse, there’s no need to worry about cycling trends and buying new boots every time fall and winter roll around. Trust us, your new favorite boots will be in your closet (and on your feet) season after season.

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Alexandra Polk, LIFESTYLE WRITEr.

Other than this super site-wide discount (that also includes sale items), you also get free shipping and free returns on all orders. Hurry, this offer is only for a limited time. And so you don’t get hopelessly lost amidst all the beautiful boots, keep on scrolling to shop our favorite styles.

Marc Fisher Chelsea Lugsole Boots

The famous and well-loved pull-on booties go with almost any outfit. By far the brand’s bestselling style — for obvious reasons! — they will give a definite edge to your fall wardrobe.

Marc Fisher Everyday Booties

Add a little bit more color to each step with Marc Fisher’s heeled wonders. These everyday booties come in all sorts of colors, textures, and heel heights. From 1 to 3 inches, there’s a perfect match for your comfort level.

Marc Fisher Over-The-Knee Boots

Did someone say over-the-knee suede boots? Yes, please! Nothing sells out faster in early fall than a pair of high-quality over-the-knee boots, so hurry and add these favorites to cart.

Marc Fisher Cold Weather Boots

Start snow-prepping early with these waterproof (and chill-proof) lace-up and pull-on booties. From a sleek look to a hiker boot feel, all are sherpa-lined for extra cozy warmth and comfort.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. All product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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In the past, maybe you’ve waited until the eleventh hour to get all of your holiday gift shopping done — but not this year. To help avoid the gift-shopping procrastination stress, Amazon is hosting a month’s worth of major beauty deals to encourage you to get all your gift shopping done and dusted well before the cranberry sauce is served. And hey, if it helps you figure out your holiday party look (or give yourself some early gifts) all the better, right?

Starting today, Amazon’s Holiday Beauty Haul is officially on. Between now and the end of the month, you’ll be able to shop pages upon pages of deals across a variety of Amazon Beauty categories that offer something for everyone. Keep reading to see our favorite picks currently on sale and get a glimpse of the full calendar of mark-downs

First up for sale is a collection of goodies Amazon dubbed the Holiday Look, a.k.a. all the makeup and hair products to get you ready for party season. Expect major discounts on luxury brands from hair brands including Oribe and Drybar, plus steals on makeup from Urban Decay, Haus Laboratories, and Revlon.

Featured Deal: Oribe Dry Styling Collection $75, $52.50

Featured Deal: Revlon Oil-Absorbing Face Roller, $9.98 $5.84

What’s Next For The Holiday Beauty Haul?

Amazon’s Holiday Beauty Haul kicks off October 4 and wraps up on October 25. Since it’s a nearly month-log shopping event, every week will offer exclusive discounts focused on a different theme; in other words, think of it as several mini sales rolled into three weeks of insane savings on top beauty products.

What’s going to be on sale?

Much like Amazon’s Lightning Deals for Prime Day, the Holiday Beauty Haul’s Epic Daily Deals are extremely limited (most only last for 24 hours or less), and once they’re gone, they’re gone for good. But don’t fret: You can preview all the upcoming deals ahead of time and set up a game plan to snag your discounted goods quickly and easily.

The calendar of deals for the Holiday Beauty Haul is as follows:

October 4-7: Holiday Look – Save up to 40% on a selection of cosmetics, nail- and hair care products to complete your holiday look.

October 8–11: Winter Skincare – Save up to 34% on a selection of face and body skincare items to prepare you for the cool months ahead.

October 12–15: Men’s Grooming – Save up to 35% on a selection of hair and beard items to upgrade your grooming essentials.

October 16–23: Appliances – Save up to 40% on a selection of top beauty tools and gadgets to upgrade your routine.

October 24–25: Fragrances – Save up to 60% on a selection of holiday fragrances to gift your loved one or yourself.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

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In the mood for a change? Luckily, the planets are on your side. This month’s new moon in Libra is rising on October 6, and it might just be the perfect opportunity for a fall reset, so buckle up.

Every new moon has a theme that centers around what area of life we should be focusing on, according to Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution, and this luminary in particular is all about relationships. “Romantic, professional, money, society, and relationship with self, especially,” she says. “With the planetary ruler of Libra being Venus, it’s time to activate next-level love and profound partnerships with heartfelt intentions.”

Since this new moon is focusing on finding equity and balance in our relationships, allow yourself to be completely open about your wants and needs — not just in your romantic relationships, but also in the one you have with yourself. Straightforward communication is the key to keeping each and every relationship in check, so use this week to make that a priority.

“The new moon is inviting us to sit down, put pen to paper and get really honest with ourselves,” Murphy says. ‘This is a huge chance to really slow down and reflect, as this is our last new moon where we will have six planets retrograde. While Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mercury are all in backspin, we get an opportunity to set some really big intentions and be bold about our goals and visions.”

One of those retrograde planets, though, may signal some extra commotion. Lisa Stardust, the author of Saturn Return Survival Guide and The Astrology Deck, says that this new moon will connect with Mercury retrograde and Mars, and the results may be a bit chaotic. “There will be a lot of pushback from people who feel ignored and that they’re not being given enough attention in relationships,” she says. “We can expect a lot of drama to unfold in partnerships.” Relationships are a two-way street, so if your partner, friend, or family member starts to get a bit dramatic, don’t dismiss them. Use the new moon’s energy to strive for harmony, and listen to what they have to say. You may just learn a valuable lesson.

The involvement of Mars is pretty important here, says Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com. “If we have been avoiding confrontation and asserting ourselves within our relationships, Mars can give us the nudge so our deepest needs can be expressed,” she says. “But if we have been too intense in our delivery, we can also use the diplomacy that only Mars in Libra can bring to us.” This can be used to your advantage — ask yourself, how have you been communicating lately? Is it balanced and fair, or have you been taking out your frustrations on those who are important to you? Recognize what areas you need to work on, and use this time (and the power of Mars) to make a change.

The day after the new moon, Pluto will square the luminary, bringing along conflict, power struggles, and arguments, according to Stardust. Although a bit rough, there’s still something we can get out of this energy. “The cosmic lesson from this new moon is to be more flexible and want to mend issues when they come up,” Stardust says. Again, that’s the power of Libra here — fairness and diplomacy are key themes, and we’ll be drawn to keeping things harmonious.

If you do anything during this new moon, direct your energy into something constructive, says Leslie Hale, psychic astrologer at Keen.com. “If you do not focus your energy toward productive activities, the more negative description of this moon can manifest,” she warns. If we use this energy wisely, though, Hale says it can lead to a great deal of solid, worthwhile accomplishments.

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