If you're looking for a few new pieces of furniture to update your home for spring, head to TJMaxx.com—their selection is amazing right now! From coffee tables to consoles, nightstands to ottomans, they have it all in ALL the styles you're looking for...boho, beachy, farmhouse, midcentury modern and more.
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Calling all runners: Outdoor Voices just launched a special collection of bras, crop tanks, tops, leggings, and shorts designed specifically with you and your favorite fitness activity in mind. The new styles come in an array of energetic shades (like banana yellows and periwinkle blues) with strategic designs (think lots of built-in-storage compartments and waistbands that stay put) made from performance material that's supportive without being restrictive and breathable without showing through.
As someone who used to be treadmill or bust, jogging outside wasn’t something I put into practice until my local gym shuttered at the start of the pandemic — shortly thereafter I became an honorary and enthusiastic member of the proverbial outdoor runner's club. Suffice to say, I'm pretty pumped to work OV's new jogger gear into my al-fresco fitness routine this season. Scroll ahead to peep the full collection of breezy pieces that are sure to make those early-morning workouts less "let's get this over with" and more "let's get this!".
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
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I am forever inspired by the outdoors, reflected in much of my home decor, clothing and accessories. The prints and fabrics I lean towards are mostly botanical-themed, or lean towards seasonal colors. I prefer organic cottons, linens, soft, natural fiber knits, and woven materials, especially this time of year. With warmer months ahead, we will be venturing outdoors even more, so it feels natural to pull in some of the beauty of the surrounding gardens, beaches, and marshlands that give the Southern living way of life so special. See below for a selection of pieces inspired by nature to wear now and well into summer.
This blouse, covered in a springtime floral print, has beautiful billowy sleeves and a ruffled v-neckline that drops so softly, finished with a loose bowtie.
Every man has this thought, but your barber and friends will be hesitant to give advice – it seems so subjective.
The unspoken truth is the best haircut for you will be partly dictated by style but also by the state of your hair and whether you are balding or not.
Unfortunately, thinning hair or even balding can become noticeable as soon as your late 20s. Two out of three guys will experience some form of male pattern baldness by the time they’re 35.
In today's article I'm going to explain why balding occurs and how to delay it for as long as possible. Then, I recommend a hairstyle I think you should try at least once in this decade of your life.
I'm also going to tell you exactly which haircuts to avoid at all costs!
Today's article is sponsored by Keeps! The best way to prevent hair loss is to do something about it while you still have hair left.
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Why Do Men Go Bald? The Nine Factors
In 2013, Plastic Reconstructive Surgery published an article that studied the factors influencing male hair loss.
The researchers took an interesting strategy to investigate genetic and behavioral factors: they studied a set of 92 identical male twins, looking at:
Testosterone levels were in their saliva
Digital photographs of their hair (or lack of it)
Precise measurements of front, side, and top of head hairlines
Observer judgments of hair thinning in each part of the head
Questionnaire regarding their lifetime of behaviors
Then, each man’s hair loss was correlated with their behaviors over a lifetime, and compared with their identical twins.
The theory is, each identical twin has roughly the same genetics, but different behaviors, so researchers could see how ‘nature and nurture' tend to influence hair loss. Here are their nine findings:
#1 Genetics & Balding (It's Up To Chance)
Unsurprisingly, genetics played the biggest factor in losing the hair on top of the head (but not on the sides).
Simply put, if hair loss is in your genes, you are more likely to lose your hair.
#2 Age (Older = Hair Loss)
Again, not surprising: the older a man was, the more likely he was to have hair loss.
This was true on every part of the head.
#3 The Number Of Children (More = More Hair Loss!)
Maybe this one isn’t surprising to parents: the more children a man had, the less hair he had.
This is possibly due to the increased stress associated with having children (but they’re worth it anyway, right?)
#4 Diet & Hair Loss (Specifically Caffeine & Alcohol)
More caffeine was correlated with more hair loss.
Men who drank more than 4 alcoholic drinks in a week had more hair loss.
Confusingly, the men who completely refrained from alcohol also had more hair loss.
#5 Smoking (Spoiler: It's Not Good For You)
There are already plenty of reasons to give up this habit but men who smoked were found to have more hair loss on top of their head.
The researchers theorized that smoking restricts blood flow to hair follicles, and this makes the follicles die.
#6 Skin Disease History & Balding
Men who had a history of skin disease lost more hair on average on the sides and top of their head.
#7 Clothing (Hats Prevent Balding)
Here’s a surprise: wearing a hat actually protected men from hair loss on the sides of their head.
Researchers suggested that hats protect the scalp from sun damage and this could explain reduced hair loss.
#8 Stress (More = Less Hair On Top)
Increased lifelong stress led to less hair. Here’s another interesting twist though: this was only true on the top of the head, stressed men studied had more hair on the sides.
However, I expect this will be little comfort to most men.
#9 Hormones & Hair Loss
Interestingly, twins with more salivary testosterone than their twin counterparts had more hair on the sides of their heads.
Clearly, you can't choose your genetics or stop the aging process and I'm not here to tell having kids should be avoided!
BUT
There are six clear ways to prolong balding:
Cut back on caffeine
Quit smoking
Drink in moderation (I recommend less than four drinks a week)
Wear a hat
Reduce stress (I know, easier said than done!)
Increase your testosterone intake
How To Deal With Balding
So what does this mean for you? It means if you're being realistic…
Make the most of your youth while you still have it. Grow your hair long, try experimental styles. Young people are expected to be a little rebellious! Nobody in school, at the skate park or your college campus will think twice if you try something different. When you leave college and you're a little older, a range of mid-length styles will work for you.
Finally, when you find yourself at the age when you're sitting at the end of a board table, a shorter and more conservative cut will lend gravitas. It will also disguise any thinning or balding. The trick is having a haircut that looks intentional, not like some of your hair has upped and left without you noticing!
So let's kick off with the perfect men's hairstyle for teenagers!
Your Teens
Worst Haircut: Frosted Tips
This hairstyle was alarmingly popular in the 1990s and early 2000s but mercifully this trend has been mostly eradicated. Unfortunately, some celebrities (Guy Fieri, I'm looking at you) refuse to let this trend die.
I beg you, stay out of Flavortown – don't fall victim to this. If you do, cringing at school photographs later in life awaits you…
So what do I recommend the young man starting out?
The Perfect Men's Hairstyle For Your Teens: The Blowout
Your teens are your best chance to experiment, take risks and try new things. Some will work, some won't. With a little bit of hairdryer and product finesse, this will be one of the wins.
The blowout is going to give you a fun, creative and energetic look. It also has an attractive windswept and “I woke up like this” aspect to it.
Little do onlookers know, your style was carefully created. How to get this haircut?
What To Ask The Barber For
The blowout is achieved when the back and sides of your hair are tapered from the scalp to 1 cm from the hairline.
The hair on top should be at least two to three inches long but any longer than that and it can be cut to a length of your preference.
Brush/Comb
Comb your top hair and the hair on the back of your head upwards and backward.
Now, comb the sides backward too. Don't comb your hair directly against your skin to give it volume.
Product
Use mousse or styling cream to keep your hair up and accentuate the left and right angles. Less is more when it comes to product but the longer your hair is, expect to use more product.
Don't forget though, the unplanned nature of this look means if a little hair falls out of place nobody will know.
Your 20s
Worst Haircut: The Man-bun
The bun has an interesting history, appearing on the back of male heads in China's Ming Dynasty, then in the west on Vandals, Goths and Lombards.
However, these days this is a questionable look even on celebrities like David Beckham that try to pull this off. Unless you have traveled back in time 500 years and moved to China I recommend giving this haircut a miss.
The Perfect Men's Hairstyle For Your 20s: The Short Crop
By contrast to the man-bun, the short crop is a really practical style that won't get in your way when playing sports.
This is still a cut you can style though and one of its best attributes is it won't look out of place on campus OR your first job.
By the way, this style in particular works for men of a variety of ages, it's not just for men in their 20s! If you are older, dust ask for a higher fade or taper on the sides and go shorter on top.
What To Ask The Barber For
Ask for a low or mid skin fade on the back and sides that naturally transitions into the hair on top of your head.
You want to keep 1-3 inches on top, depending on preference. The more hair you have, the more there is to style. Conversely, the shorter the cut, the less maintenance is required in the morning.
Brush/Comb
Blow-dry your hair and gently rake your fingers through your hair to add texture.
Product
Finish with a tiny bit of styling cream or matte mud for a natural look. Work it into your hair from the back to the front, lifting your fringe up.
Your 30s
Worst Haircut: The Mullet
Some think the mullet died off in the 1990s. They were wrong. Naming no names, some magazines are claiming that a modern, acceptable version of a mullet is making a comeback. Don't let this happen. This one needs to remain stuck in 90s B movies on VHS tapes in your mom's attic where they belong.
The mullet is special for incorporating a short frontal section of hair while transitioning into a longer style in the back. In my humble opinion, men can look good with long hair and they can look good with short hair – but not both at the same time. This hairstyle is also totally incompatible with hair loss due to requiring more hair on top and at the back where this is most likely to start.
What would I go for instead?
The Perfect Men's Hairstyle For Your 30s: The Side Part
Think of the side part as the grown-up version of the short crop. You can pull it off with the same three inches of hair on top so it isn't long enough to expose a little thinning you might start to notice at this age.
Style your hair once in the morning and then enjoy the rest of your day without having to worry. This cut is good-looking and professional but functional – the ability to have a wide degree of hair lengths on top means you don't need frequent haircuts.
Plus, every barber on the planet knows this haircut. Tell them what you want then sit down and let them go to work!
What To Ask The Barber For
The only thing you need to decide is if you want a natural taper on the back and sides or do you want a low fade beginning close to the nape of your neck. Either should work here with the former look slightly more professional and clean-cut.
You will need at least 3-5 inches of hair on top for the volume needed here.
Should your barber shave the parting for you? The advantage here is it's easier to find your parting in the morning. However, I recommend not doing this as it takes away from the versatility of the look and makes it permanently more formal.
Brush/Comb
Part your hair on one side, you can choose which. Now, comb away from the part, combing your fringe up for a modern look or swept straight across for a vintage vibe.
Comb the hair on the sides of your hair backward, staying close to your head.
Product
To keep your side part looking good all day, put a little wax through your hair.
Focus on getting a good parting that will stay in place. Then, just reinforce however you've chosen to keep your fringe.
Your 40s And Beyond
Worst Haircut: The Comb-over
The dreaded comb-over occurs when men with less hair attempt a side part, brushing longer hair on one side over their bald spot. Don't let this be you.
There's a reason I suggested a side part for men in their 30s and not their 40s.
Are you are one of the many men that suffer from acute baldness? Embrace it – shave that head. Use it to your advantage. Studies show men with bare heads appear more dominant and masculine than others.
What would I suggest for a man with thinning hair?
The Perfect Men's Hairstyle For Your 40s: The Caesar Cut
Silver screen legend George Clooney has really taken this style and made it his own. There's a reason for that.
Remember what I said about a haircut needing to look intentional? The Caesar cut is a short style that doesn't require long, flowing locks of hair to pull off and will hide a small bald spot.
Legend has it Julius Caesar himself was balding and used this cut to disguise it. If it's the perfect men's hairstyle for the emperor of Rome, it's good enough for you and me.
What To Ask The Barber For
For a structured, formal look you can ask for a taper on the back and sides, aiming for half an inch or less. For a more informal look, keep your hair the same length all over.
Your hair length on top should be 0.5-1.5 inches, keeping it short but still giving you some hair to style.
Brush/Comb
This is a hairstyle with minimal maintenance required. That said, to look your best brush the top of your hair forward and upwards slightly to add a little volume.
Similar to the blowout hairstyle mentioned earlier, this is a more natural-looking hairstyle so don't try to force every hair to go where you want it.
Product
For such a short style, very little product if any will be required. Use just a tiny bit of pomade or matte mud here to hold your hair and any curls in place.
I had a lot of fun putting this article together. The perfect men's hairstyle can feel elusive but these are a great place to start. Experiment, try different hair lengths and see what works best for you! Check out ten of the most attractive men's hairstyles here for extra inspiration.
When we’re talking about Black women to Black women relationships, the way that we treat each other is usually a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. And so an underlying thing that has to be addressed when we’re talking about folks being mean, talking down, going behind someone’s back to destroy this other Black woman–it is usually due to a sense of our own inadequacy. And there are certain aspects that a particular Black woman is amplifying. Either something we don’t like about ourselves or something that we wish we had and haven’t been able to achieve.
And so, instead of addressing our own insecurities and addressing what’s inside of us that is making us feel inadequate, we project our own negative self-talk onto someone else.
Black women, from a historical perspective, have had to deal with the lack of sovereignty and the experience of scarcity. It has made us believe that everybody can’t be considered good by massa. Some of us might be enduring more abuse, when we add the complexity of colorism to the way we engage with folks.
Then there’s the historic pacification in how we interact with men, the fear of losing a male figure–this is the cis-gendered, heterosexual mean girl.
We can also point to the fact that there is a lot more effort put into our romantic engagements than we put in sister to sister, woman to woman relationships. I think those are the beginning parts of generational trauma. It can be rooted in our concept of self from enslavement.
We project our own negative self-talk onto someone else.
I think it’s important for us to consider, specifically as things are more amplified– cuz ain’t shit new–racism, colorism, internalized racism or injected oppression. We feel like we have to fight to survive at a more alarming rate. So creating the falsehood of having it together–one of my friends used to say, ‘Looking good losing.’ Wearing the mask on social media is more amplified.
Unless you are specifically deciding that you’re going to cultivate the relationships with your sisters or other women in your life during this pandemic then the isolation is real. And we’re not allowed to say that we’re in pain. Some of us have a hard time articulating that we need help. A good amount of us have not experienced the kind of village, community, unconditional love. And unconditional love can mean a sista that’s going to call you out or call you in. And having an ego to still hear that from your sis without saying, ‘Fuck her. I don’t like her anyway.’
Without the intention to preserve it, we are becoming more disconnected. We are a collective people. When I talk to my god-sister virtually now, I can’t read her body language all the way because I’m only seeing her from the head up. I’m not feeling her energy in the same way. So that breeds space for communication issues, especially if you already sucked at it when we were seeing each other face to face.
A drive to succeed, even if you don’t have a whole lot of resources–which is good. And then feeling an obligation to help other people at the expense of yourself. The grief that comes up when we’re talking about Black women as caregivers, Black women as moms, Black women that feel like they’re bearing the weight of the world.
Looking good losing.
We have to think about the relationship that the Black woman has had with their mother or mothering figure.
When I think about my own personal experience, my mother struggled with addiction. My grandmother struggled with addiction. My auntie was a caregiver but wasn’t always happy about that. My aunt has sister-friends that she’s kept for years. But my other family, not so much. When we’re talking about what it would take to cultivate genuine sisterhood, it actually means that you have to be willing to do a lot of your own healing work and address the things that impact your personal and interpersonal relationships.
Am I talking about it? How is that grief inflaming the relationships with the women who are a reflection of me? Oftentimes, our issues with mother figures are reenacted in the relationships with our sister-friends.
Many of us have shallow as shit relationships with our sister-friends then we’re wondering why we feel alone. We are quick to backbite them. We’re not trusting of ourselves, we’re not trusting of the women around us. We don’t feel comfortable exploring ourselves and we don’t feel comfortable having her see because if I think that about myself, I don’t want her to think that about me, so I’m not going to tell her.
NSNC: I remember hearing growing up, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ And that used to be a cool thing to say. People accepted it. Now, it’s like the opposite I have all these friends. My friends are my sisters but for a lot of women nothing’s really changed at the root of how we feel about one another.
It’s important to also frame this within the understanding that is fashionable to have sister-girlfriends. We’re talking about social media versus real life. ‘Look at me, I’m with my sisters. Look at me, I’m with my friends.’ But it doesn’t require the level of depth that it actually takes to actually have healthy, healing relationships.
Be willing to do a lot of your own healing work.
We can accept that we have to do healing work and talk in our intimate relationships. We don’t talk about that in sisterhood relationships. I don’t think it’s because we don’t want it. We really want real sisterhood. But I also don’t think we know what to do with big emotion.
We’re not being taught how to deal when our sister really, really hurts us. So we call her a bitch and cut her off so we don’t have to feel the emotion. When in all actuality, a conversation like: ‘Sis, when you did this I felt like this. It also made me think about this and I don’t know why you keep saying that. I’m crying now but don’t judge me because I’m being vulnerable.’
Many of us don’t have the words for that or we’re interacting with other sisters who don’t know how to receive it. They’re taking it as a time to be defensive instead of a time for growth. There are sister circles that are so cool now. Folks are hashtagging. There are healing circles, sister spaces. It’s profitable and most of those spaces are very short term.
So we’ll talk about this for 12 weeks and then bye. But we know that you don’t really know somebody for real until you go through all of the seasons and all of the emotions. And how many of us have been put in the position naturally– not sorority experiences. I’m not discounting that–But I’m talking about the natural progression of relationships.
How many of those sister circles are fortifying and teaching us how to deal with conflict? And how to recognize when you are being triggered emotionally? What do you do with that? How do you address it helpfully? How do you take care of yourself? How do you grapple with I don’t let no one see me cry but I’m going to let her see me cry. It’s a risk.
NSNC: To that point, how do you know when you should be vulnerable with someone? Should you lead with vulnerability and then remove it when they prove they’re not trustworthy?
I’m going to tell you how I deal with it and how I’ve noticed other folks deal with it. I’m a straight shooter. Maybe it’s because I’m a Leo. Maybe it’s because I just don’t like bullshit. I don’t know. When I was dating my then-boyfriend, now husband I was like, ‘Ok, what are we doing? Are we just hanging out? Are you looking for a relationship? If you’re not looking for something serious, this won’t work.’ In the same way I set certain boundaries through the dating relationship, I similarly have candid conversations with my sister-friends about their expectations in friendship.
And some of my friends have been like, ‘Shawna, nobody be doing that, yo.’ Some of my friends have said, ‘I really appreciate that you did that. And this is the reason why our relationship is so deep and nobody else does this.’
I have candid conversations with my sister-friends about their expectations in friendship.
If a sis says something, ‘Uhnn nnnhh that’s making me feel like I can’t trust you, I just say it out loud.’ Most people think it. I make sure I say it–not when I’m feeling emotional or pissed but later, I’ll say, ‘So when you said that, that sounded like some real gossiping ass…for me to feel secure in our friendship. Ima need to know that you’re not going to be out here running your mouth or speaking bad about me.’ So I am assertive in that.
As a result of that, the friendships that I have, none of them are shallow. Every one of them learns my personality. I know myself really well, so I can listen, do you want the truth or do you want me to just listen. Do you want Shawna lite or do you really want me to say it? Because I’m going to be honest. I’m not going to destroy you. It’s going to be out of love but it’s going to be honest. So I also ask permission. What do you need in this sisterhood relationship?
Then it’s about time. If I am in a sister-friend relationship, I study my friends in the way I study my partner. Like ‘Mmm sis you did that thing. Your facial expression is looking like something is wrong. What’s wrong? What’s going on? I feel like you’re lying. Stop lying boo.’ I use humor but this is how I am in real life.
And because of that transparency and the fact that I’m the same every time allows space for the number one thing which is building trust. Trust is earned through multiple life experiences and being able to count on that person to show up each time. All of my friends have told me that they’ve learned from our sisterhood relationship and applied those same concepts in their other friendships. But most of the time, I think what we do is, ‘If a sister falls off, we make the assumption I guess she don’t want to talk to me.’ And I think a healthy way to do that, instead of just assuming is to say, ‘Hey are you okay? Did I do something to hurt your feelings?’ Communication.
A good signal that you know it’s okay to open up is when the other person has opened up. Another good signal is how do you find they are talking about their other friends. If they’re telling you all of their friends secrets–sometimes we need spaces to vent–but if there’s no caveat like, ‘I need your insight.’… How is she talking about her other friends? Is she downing her? Would you say that to her face? Don’t say anything about me that you wouldn’t say to me.
Reliability, honesty and a commitment to growth. So if you say something that hurt my feelings–however you want to say it. ‘That blew the shit outta me.’ ‘That pissed me off.’ Are they willing to have the conversation about something small? If it’s a small thing that they do that irritates you, can you talk about it? It doesn’t mean that she’s going to change. But if you’re able to talk about the little things, oftentimes that gives you a glimpse if you were able to share some of the bigger stuff.
Don’t say anything about me that you wouldn’t say to me.
NSNC: A lot of us just don’t know. We think we’re good communicators but we’re not. And a lot of times we don’t know how to say things without feeling like it will hurt someone else so we keep a lot of it in.
One of things I think is important to remember is that you can’t control how other people feel. You can be thoughtful. You can even preface it with, ‘I was thinking a lot about this because I didn’t want it to hurt your feelings. I’ve been trying to find the words for this.’ And then you say it. Utilize other friends in your circle. Not the ones you know suck at saying stuff. But calling on a friend and asking, ‘Does this sound mean?’ In the same way we might say, ‘Listen, I’m ‘bout to email my supervisor. How does this sound?’ Seeking counsel and insight around how we communicate is also really helpful.
And then, if you’ve been gifted an elder woman that you’ve found has been very sisterly to you or has really solid friends, ask them for insight. The older women in my life, they’ve gone through sister-friends. They can give insight. They can tell you one time when they really messed up a friendship. And things that they wish they knew. You can ask older women how to navigate it–those that we think have some wisdom to share. Because you can be older and still suck at this. You only really learn it by acknowledging that all relationships require some vulnerability.
NSNC: We talk about this concept of a mean girl but we don’t always see ourselves in it. But we all have the potential to play that role in somebody’s life. So how can you recognize when you’re being a mean girl to another Black woman?
The process of knowing yourself is really big. So the way that I sort of teach and hold the space for Black women to get a look inside themselves is to do some reflection about times they’ve been on the receiving end of mean girl behavior and then to acknowledge how they felt about it.
Acknowledge what was triggered in them and then to also acknowledge what are your triggers? What makes you go 0-100 real quick? What makes you feel defensive or some type of way? Because we don’t always have words to describe our emotions. What makes you feel really uncomfortable? What are things anybody can do that does that for you?
After you get to a level of consistency about checking in with yourself about those sorts of things, then you can think about when you’ve been on the receiving end of mean girl experiences and when have you done some of those things to other people?
It’s important to start with when you were on the receiving end because some of us don’t have the foresight to see ourselves in other people. Having empathy is really important in recognizing when you’re replicating that behavior. So when you recognize how it feels for you, you can ask yourself, ‘Damn, when did I hurt my sis? When did I withhold information? When did I call sis out her name? When did I lie? When did I ignore what she said because I didn’t have the capacity to handle it?’
Seek counsel and insight around how we communicate
And then doing some self forgiveness so that you can address the defensiveness that can come if you decide to make reparation. Repairing the relationship doesn’t mean she has to accept your apology. You just want to make it so there’s not bad energy in the air.
Do an assessment of past experiences. I’ve found that also looking at your teenage self is really, really helpful. Because listen, we all was assholes. We might have thought that we’re reformed but that’s a good question. When you think about yourself in high school–because we can be really honest about that. ‘Oh, I was a child.’ Then juxtapose that with your experience now as an adult and ask, ‘How is the way that you’re in relationship with women the same or different?’
Then you’re able to have a clear understanding of who you have been and sit with who you’d like to become. What behaviors are there and then you can get to the root of it.
NSNC: Can you speak to the richness of having close, sister-friends? What is it that we miss out on when we forsake our community and ourselves by not having deep friendships with other Black women?
I’m speaking to this from having a history of having horrible relationships up through college with other women. I was yearning for sisterhood. I was grieving, still, the mothering I didn’t get as a child because of my mother’s addiction. I wanted other mothering so that I could heal. So my perspective comes out of a place where none of my relationships were deep. All of them were shallow and I didn’t really know what to do.
Now, I’m on this continued journey–because it isn’t a destination–of doing my healing work and then holding space for other folks.
I was yearning for sisterhood.
What I can now speak to is– like my godsister Camille, who I met through a year-long rites of passage process. We wasn’t all the way that tight in the first year. But she’s like my biological sister, basically when you think about what you really wish for in a biological sister.
She loves my daughter like her own child. I can call her in the middle of the night, at the end of the night, in the middle of any sort of whirlwind and she will arrive no matter what. Questions asked but later. Many questions asked.
So I have someone to have fun with–snot because I’m laughing so hard and snot because I’m grieving so deeply.
And our families have become family. Our husbands function like brothers. They hang out because of our ongoing growth and relationship.
My other sister-friend Vanessa, we laugh sometimes about that first good argument that we had. And it was not cute. It was bad. We were in Brazil, in the middle of nowhere, broke a little bit. It was our first real good, ‘I don’t know if I want to be your friend no more’ conversation.
What we have now, she reads my body language. We have dreams about each other. We support each other in our goals. She’s building her business and she’s going to come to me. We’re visioning for our future and our greatest selves together. We’re able to acknowledge both of our skills. We’re able to call out when somebody’s envy is showing and what that is really about.
We’ve said to one another, ‘That didn’t make me feel good when you said that.’ And to be able to glow and grow together.
We went house shopping together so her house is walking distance from mine. You begin to have a kind of thing where you are building your family relationships around the support of each other.
Shawna Murray-Browne, LCSW-C, is a liberation focused community healer whose work began with teaching young girls and eventually grown women how to be sisters. You can follow her @HealASista on Instagram and learn more about her courses and services here.
Recreating the Iconic wet-looking curls of the Jheri Curl for Natural Hair
by Jacqueline Samaroo
The Jheri curl was THE Black hairstyle of the 1980s. Celebrities like Lionel Ritchie, Ice Cube, and Michael Jackson sported the style. The Black community was swept up in a wave of glossy, springy, curly hair and bottles of curl activator were flying off store shelves.
Yep, the Jheri curl had its heyday, lasting into the 1990s. It then faded away and became just a distant memory to most of us. Fast forward to the present time and we see a new wave sweeping through the Black community – the natural hair movement. So, it comes as a surprise to many that the Jheri curl of all things is back AND that there are naturalistas who are embracing it. After all, the style was dependent on the use of harsh chemicals – the very thing naturalistas strive to avoid.
But here’s the thing – there is a natural hair, heat-free, chemical-free version of the Jheri curl. It uses natural hair products to recreate the iconic wet-looking curls of the Jheri curl.
Let’s take a look at the flat twist/twist out version of how it’s done.
The first step (as it is with the original Jheri curl) is making sure your hair is clean. Select a good shampoo for natural haircare and for that a sulfate-free shampoo is a great choice. It won’t dry out your hair by stripping it of its natural oils.
Use a leave-in conditioner
The Jheri curl is all about curl definition. Getting defined curls means your hair needs to be well moisturized. You can do that by applying a leave-in conditioner to your hair while it is still wet.
Add curl cream
The traditional Jheri curl uses a chemical softener to permanently change the curl pattern of the hair. This new natural Jheri curl is not a permanent style. It uses a curl cream, a kind of styling cream, to make natural hair softer while defining its natural curl pattern.
Note: Curling creams are natural hair products designed to work with different types of curly hair. Be sure to use a curling cream that matches your hair type.
Add the curl cream to your hair, one section at a time. Work it into your hair then wrap and twist small portions of your hair around your finger to help the curls take shape. Clip the hair in that section together and move on to another section
Flat twist your hair
In the traditional Jheri curl, two more chemicals would be needed – a solution to set the curls and another chemical, a neutralizer, to make the new curl pattern permanent. In this all-natural version, flat twists are all you need. Make several flat twists in one section of your hair then twist those twists together. Repeat for all the sections.
Add perm curlers Jheri Curl for Natural Hair Jheri Curl for Natural Hair Jheri Curl for Natural Hair
Roll the twisted sections up in perm curlers, going from tip to scalp. Leave the curlers in overnight, making sure to protect your hair with a silk or satin scarf or bonnet.
Take the curlers out and moisturize Jheri Curl for Natural Hair Jheri Curl for Natural Hair
Remove the curlers one at a time and use your choice of hair oil for natural curly hair to moisturize each section as you carefully separate the curls. Don’t overdo this step as it might make the curls fall apart.
Now, you have your 2020s, all-natural version of the 1980s Jheri curl – without the chemicals!
Do you like the wet look?! Would you try the Jheri Curl for Natural Hair? Tell us below!
Jheri Curl for Natural Hair Jheri Curl for Natural Hair
