Single-serve coffee makers (sans fancy espresso machines) get a bad rap for making a rushed, weak, and cheap cup of coffee. But after scavenging the internet and sifting through hundreds of reviews, we're here to tell you that's not the case. We've rounded up the best single-serve coffee makers — from classic Keurigs to high-end Nespressos — the internet has to offer.

First and foremost, these single-serve coffee makers are highly rated online. Some come with their very own travel mugs that fit right into the machine and are perfect for sipping as you run to your next important engagement. Others have milk-frothing attachments that make getting a cafe-level cup a breeze. There's also a machine or two that uses both single-serve coffee pods and regular ground coffee, so you can brew your pick-me-up any way you'd like. Get ready to fill your (single) cup to the brim with some grade-A java thanks to the help of the 14 convenient caffeine machines, ahead.

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If you, like so many Americans, drink a cup of coffee — or maybe several cups of coffee — every single day, the money you put towards brewing it up can make a big impact. Switching from beans sold by big brands like Folgers or Starbucks and redirecting funds toward Black-owned businesses is a no-brainer, especially since there are so many great options hailing from cities all across the country. And there's no better time to make the switch than on National Coffee Day (October 1!).

To make the transition from buying mass-produced coffee products from big corporations to purchasing from Black-owned companies even easier, we've rounded up 14 different brands worth checking out. Ahead, discover your new go-to caffeine fix.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. All product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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Remember way back in early 2020, when Paris Hilton trolled all of America with a 15-minute video of herself making her “famous lasagna”? Throughout the last year, I’ve often found myself thinking about Hilton’s attempts to grate a ball of fresh mozzarella while wearing fingerless, black silk gloves and recycling her phrase “all these spoons are brutal” while trying to throw together a meal in my own kitchen. But the days of that Cooking with Paris segment living in my brain rent-free are over, because it was served an eviction notice today by a new “cooking” clip by Britney Spears that is a mere minute-and-a-half long. In the real world, I’m all for eviction moratoriums, but in this case, footage of Spears making what she calls “the meanest sandwich known to mankind” is just too delightful to share space in my mind with literally anything else.

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A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears)

Last night, Spears posted a video on Instagram that starts with her striking a pose with which her avid followers are, by now, very familiar. Standing with her gaze slightly tilted up to meet the camera, Spears has her thumbs tucked into the top of her low-rise jeans, and her toned tummy bare below a cropped tee. Perhaps to signify that this video is different than most (it’s a cooking video, after all), she used a sepia filter, reminiscent of an old-timey silent movie. Not that this level of creative art direction should come as any surprise — I mean, haven’t you seen this woman’s paintings? 

“Okay guys, so I’m here in my kitchen today, and I’m going to make my first delicacy sandwich,” she says quickly and matter-of-factly, as she sways back and forth with the excitement that only making a sandwich elicits. Spears then goes on to explain that the sandwich she’ll be making was inspired by one she used to regularly eat at a deli in New York 15 years ago.

As someone who currently resides in New York and is a big fan of the city’s deli culture, I was excited to hear which shop the pop star had long held a torch for. Perhaps I could even head there for lunch and try out her favorite sandwich for myself. Turns out, that’s not an option. Why? Because Britney’s favorite sandwich is from Schlotzsky’s Deli, a fast-casual sandwich chain that started in Austin, TX, and can now mainly be found in the Midwest and South; it did have one New York City location, but that has been closed for at least eight years. While it is a bit of a shock that Spears chose to dine on sandwiches from Schlotzsky’s while in a city known for its many local delicatessens, I was actually even more thrilled by this revelation than I would have been if she had shouted out Katz’s or Barney Greengrass. Having grown up in suburban Tennessee, I am very familiar with this chain, which is now owned by an Atlanta, GA-based company, and actually used to eat there after my mom picked me up from kindergarten —  around the same time that …Baby One More Time was released and I, like so many others, first fell in love with Britney. What serendipity!

Clearly, Spears also thinks divine intervention is at work when it comes to Schlotzky’s, because, in her video, she recalls that, “15 years ago” when she “used to go to a place in New York City called Schlotzsky’s Deli Sandwiches. It was literally God to me.” And, now, “15 years later, I’m still in search of a sandwich that tastes just like that. So this morning, I decided to get up and try to create a sandwich just like that for the summer.” You have to admire the commitment! Honestly, having a single dish so delicious that it sticks with you for years is all too relatable, even if, sadly, I can’t say that I remember a single sandwich I had at Schlotzsky’s back in the day. But maybe I just never had the same sandwich Spears has? Because, truly, it does seem memorable — especially the way she walks viewers through its creation. First, Spears begins with “artisan ciabatta,” which she refers to as her “favorite type of bread.” Then, she shows her next ingredients: a small bowl filled with goat cheese and pecans. Though Spears initially mistakes the pecans as almonds, don’t worry, she corrects herself in the video’s caption: “PS I meant pecans not almonds !!!!” After showing off the partially misidentified mixture, we get to my favorite part of the clip: her one-handed attempt at slicing a single pecan. When I tell you I would pay to fly to Las Vegas to see Spears recreate this seven seconds on a stage, I am not exaggerating. I’ve never seen such a big knife handled so precisely.

Next, she places a small bowl of shredded chicken and turkey beside the goat cheese and almonds — I mean pecans. Zooming out, Spears introduces four slices of avocado that are covered in morsels of goat cheese, bits of chopped pecan, and chunks of shredded meat. It’s not the way I’m used to seeing sliced veggies presented in instructional cooking videos, but it’s certainly how ingredients end up looking on my own cutting board. Britney, she’s just like us. After tilting the camera toward a bowl of lettuce, Spears presents the final ingredient, which she thinks is the most unlikely addition to the sandwich. Still, according to her, it makes the dish. “I also have, it’s like, pear. It’s sheared pear,” she says. “You would think that that would be really odd — it looks like fish but it’s not. It’s very, very sweet, and it adds something — like a really, really different taste to the sandwich.” She’s such a gourmand! And, the only reason I’d think it’s odd is because I’ve never heard of “sheared pear” before. But now I can’t wait to try it.

Finally, the pop star presents a “tiny” sandwich comprising all the previously mentioned ingredients — ciabatta, goat cheese, almonds pecans, shredded chicken and turkey, avocado, lettuce, and pear — on a plate alongside exactly four red grapes, two slices of pineapple, one slice of cantaloupe, and one sliver of strawberry. “A little goes a long way, so you don’t need a huge sandwich for the summertime,” she says. “Something kind of small and a little French will kind of do for me.” Spears ends the video by slicing the already minuscule sandwich in half and saying, “Voilà, it’s a beautiful little sandwich.” It isn’t beautiful at all, actually, but it’s attainable and appetizing and that’s what makes it so appealing.

Despite the fact that a video like this is absolute gold for fast-casual restaurant chains, which usually love being sassy — and often embarrassing — on social media, Schlotzsky’s has yet to publicly acknowledge Spears’ video. I reached out to the chain and haven’t received a response. Many Spears fans have also tried to get Schlotzsky’s attention by flooding the chain’s most recent Instagram post, which was shared 30 minutes ago, with comments like “Here for Britney,” “Please send Britney a sandwich,” and “Britney eats sandwiches here so I’ll eat sandwiches here, too.” Some of her fans are even calling for the chain to give the pop star an endorsement deal, but Spears doesn’t seem fussed with Schlotzsky’s lack of response. 

In fact, it seems like Spears — who clearly thought Schlotsky’s had closed forever — actually already got more out of sharing the video than she ever expected. Earlier today, less than 24-hours after her original video, Spears posted a photo of the ocean at sunset on Instagram, and captioned it, “THERE IS A GOD,” followed by the sunset, prayer hands, cloud, and church emojis. “Good news @schlotzskys STILL EXISTS folks …. Life will be ok now!!!” And, honestly, after watching this video and frantically Googling the words “sheared pears,” I agree: Life will indeed be ok.

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To me, fruit has always felt so chic. Perhaps that sounds strange but think about everything a perfectly ripe piece of fruit brings — beautiful bright colors, popping on your kitchen counter; luscious juice, bursting forth with every bite; and the adaptability to elevate a dish or be enjoyed all on its own. Each orb of citrus, berry, or drupe feels like a special gift from the earth, a sweet surprise that can both quench your thirst and fill your stomach. My luxurious outlook on fruit has meant, of course, that I have been taken in by expertly branded designer fruit ever since I began grocery shopping for myself. I was all-in when Pom Wonderful introduced its ready-to-eat pomegranate arils, I have converted many of my nearest and dearest into Sumo citrus devotees, and I’ve even purchased Opal apples simply because I saw others posting photos of them on their Instagram feeds. The marketing and buzz around these high-end fruits always work on me, so when I began hearing about Oishii’s Omakase Berry, obviously I had to try it.

In case you’re unfamiliar, the Omakase Berry originated in Japan, which is known for its rich culture of high-end fruits. Hiroki Koga first brought the seeds here because he wanted to share the magic of these Japanese strawberries and inspire a similar high regard for quality fruit in America. He founded Oishii, a first-of-its-kind indoor vertical strawberry farm in the U.S., and the artisanal varietal was officially introduced in 2018. While the seeds hail from Japan, the vertical farm is based in New Jersey, which might not scream “high-end fruit” given some people’s associations with the state, but those people should stop stigmatizing NJ, and also be aware that the farm is indoors and elements like temperature, humidity, CO2 levels, and wind speed are controlled. Also, I feel it is my duty to take a quick moment to remind everyone that New Jersey is called the Garden State for a reason, so save your eyebrow raises. 

After being introduced to the public, the Omakase Berry quickly caught the eye of Michelin-starred chefs around New York City. Then, more mainstream fruit-lovers like me began hearing the buzz on what has repeatedly been called “the Tesla strawberries” from places like Grub Street. According to that article, Oishii recently raised $50 million in series A funding, which it will use to grow the rare fruits at scale. This will help continue the mainstream spread by expanding availability. I also learned that each Omakase Berry costs, at minimum, $5. This fact both made my jaw drop and my mouth water.

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If you live in the New York City area, you can get Omakase Berries at a few different locations, if they’re not out of stock. Or, you get on a waiting list and have them delivered. Mine arrived at my apartment in a crisp white shopping bag with white fabric handles and Oishii written in red across it. It was the type of sturdy bag one might get after making a purchase at a designer clothing store — well, I’m guessing. It felt chic, which was fitting seeing as I’ve previously stated that fruit itself is, in my opinion, chic. 

Inside the bag sat the carton I’d stared at on Instagram at least once every few days since finding out about the Omakase Berry’s existence. Six stunning strawberries sat nestled in cloudy film, and the display conjured up an appropriately luxurious association: a diamond ring perfectly placed in a jewelry box. What a prize. The top of each berry was a deep red that faded beautifully into an orange-y pink — nature’s ideal ombre. The pores on the berry’s skin flared wide, revealing a multitude of minuscule seeds — a reminder of how this thing I was about to sink my teeth into had come to be. I took my first bite. It tasted like a strawberry.

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I don’t mean to be diminishing. What I’m trying to say isn’t that Omakase Berries tasted like any old strawberry, but rather that it tasted like how strawberries are supposed to taste, but rarely do. They exhibited none of the disgusting drawbacks of an out-of-season berry. They aren’t overly mushy, nor do they don’t contain an off-putting crunchy core. The outside is crisp, the interior flesh is light and airy, and the flavor, my god, is it so incredibly sweet. You can actually smell how sweet they are when they’re sitting on the plate as you wait for them to come to room temperature for 10 to 15 minutes prior to digging in, as is recommended. Anyone with a major sweet tooth who has ever scoffed at the phrase “fruit is nature’s candy,” should give these a chance, and they’ll finally understand why that’s a common refrain.

As much as I enjoyed the Omakase Berries, my initial reaction of “these taste like strawberries” is an important one. They tasted like very good strawberries, something of which I, as a fruit fanatic, was absolutely in awe. But, let’s not forget they cost $5 each and you can’t buy that many at a time. On the other hand, you can easily secure an entire pound of strawberries at a regular grocery store for $5 or less. While those won’t taste quite the same as Omakase Berries, if they’re in season, they will taste like strawberries. And, you can kick back and mindlessly down a whole bowl of them. It is simply a different experience. 

With Oishii’s funding, perhaps the price-point of Omakase Berries’ may one day become a bit more approachable. For now, though, my recommendation depends entirely on what type of person you are. Will it bring you great joy to bite into a single strawberry that you’ve waited 10 minutes to eat at the exact right temperature? If yes, it’s certainly a fun experience that could be worth investing some money in. If you think this entire concept is ludicrous and you can’t believe someone could devote over 800 words to the action of eating a berry, you, my friend, would be better off spending your 5 bucks elsewhere.

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In late January, Olivia Jade made her much-anticipated return to YouTube following the 2019 college admissions scandal. I devoured the entirety of her first daily vlog within minutes of its drop but was left thinking about one single element specifically, long after the 15-minute video had ended. It wasn’t her mention of the Red Table Talk interview she’d done a month earlier. Nor was it her mint-green pajama set — though I did covet it. No, instead, the image that wouldn’t leave my mind was the up-close shot of the most unsightly salad I have ever seen. According to Olivia Jade, the salad is something she orders a lot. Composed of lettuce, avocado, celery, and gnarled tendrils of pale, shredded chicken, the limp-looking salad was served with lemon-olive-oil dressing on the side. 

If I’d come across this green-and-gray salad in its brown biodegradable takeout container in real life, I likely wouldn’t have batted an eye. Yes, it would still have been undoubtedly ugly, but it would have just been any other salad. What do I care how it looks? Seeing it through my laptop screen, though, its appearance hit differently. Social media is a space that’s generally filled with highly curated, expertly edited images that display only the most glamorous depictions of people’s daily lives — so the fact that this very famous, hyper image-conscious, and much-followed vlogger shared an unstyled shot of sickly ribbons of chicken left me delighted. 

As someone who was deeply invested in the era of peak food-blogging in the mid- to late-aughts, I have, in the past, enjoyed many an artful photo of moist cake slices or runny-yolked eggs. Styling these images to pop on Tumblr or Instagram takes real, undeniable skill. But, it’s only recently that I’ve realized that I have moved beyond those specific visual pleasures. After nearly two decades as a social media user, I’ve grown tired of how images, specifically of food, are often presented — that is, perfectly. 

Now, when I see a photo of someone’s immaculate brunch spread, my mouth doesn’t immediately start watering; those stacks of fluffy French toast or dishes of crispy bacon strips just don’t inspire daydreams anymore. Instead, I’m distracted by the thought of more mundane things, like that one friend, holding their phone high up above the food, making everyone else wait to eat so that the syrup bottle can be positioned just-so. This isn’t a dig — on many occasions, I have been that person. And, trust me, I am not a traitor to my generation so I’m not saying there’s something wrong with putting the perfectly arranged food shot on Instagram, I just don’t get the same thrill out of it as I once did. The magic is gone.

This makes sense. By now, most of us have seen numerous articles revealing the food styling secrets that go into making food look “good” in ads and even cookbooks. Glue is used in place of cereal milk, vaseline is smeared on the rim of a margarita glass to make it glisten, microwaved wet tampons are stuffed into a dish to create the illusion of steam. Once you know about these tricks, the food itself loses its appeal, because you’re reminded that aesthetics were prioritized over tasting good or even being edible. What’s the fun in that?

What gets me going lately are snapshots of sloppy, thrown-together sandwiches on plates smeared with errant blobs of mayonnaise and crusty monochromatic casseroles still in the dish, sitting under atrocious lighting. These photos make me think about the actual food and not the background production that goes into making it look good. Whoever posted the picture simply wanted to share what they were cooking or eating as quickly as possible and then get down to the most important part: eating it.

To my great pleasure, I’ve been seeing these types of food photos on social media more and more, and according to Jill Warren, content marketing specialist at Later, this step away from highly stylized images doesn’t only apply to food pics. “There’s been a major shift in the type of content people share on Instagram over the last few years, moving away from oversaturated, picture-perfect photos towards more authentic, barely edited, real-life content,” she explains. “This makes a lot of sense, especially when you consider how much Instagram has evolved. In the earlier days, it was a simple look-book for sharing filtered images — remember Clarendon? Now, the app has become a place for connection — whether it’s between brands and customers or influencers and their communities.” 

After a year of connecting almost exclusively through social media, this trend has become even more prominent. “Creators and brands who are willing to ‘lift the curtain’ and share their authentic selves benefit from a deeper, more meaningful relationship with their audience,” Warren says. “Arguably, being relatable is far more powerful than being ‘perfect’ in 2021.”

When I see an unedited photo of food, placed however haphazardly onto a plate or still in its takeout container, I also see a genuine love for eating, something I have in common with the photo’s poster. I think, wow, I bet that tastes good, and am happy that the person got to enjoy whatever dish they shared. It feels like a pure exchange between two people, even if the interaction is virtual or one-sided. 

A few weeks after Olivia Jade returned to vlogging and implanted the hideous image of her favorite salad in my brain forever, she posted a “What I Eat In A Day” vlog. In this one, she ordered it again. “I had this in another blog, and everybody was saying it looked bland,” she shared unapologetically, as she removed the take-out container’s lid, and prepared to dive in. It was as if she were looking straight at her 1.86 million subscribers and saying, “Yes, I know this salad doesn’t look sexy, but I love it and I am going to continue to order it anyway.” If only she’d been as authentic on her college application, she could have gotten in anywhere.

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Earlier this month, President Biden announced that all American adults will be eligible to receive the COVID-19 vaccine by May 1. After a year of tragedy, trauma, depression, and isolation, the types of feelings expected to accompany that news are hope and excitement — finally, a return to “normal.” Almost immediately, conversations about what restaurants people would visit and what outfits they’d wear picked up with a new urgency. People joked online about being able to breathe all over their friends and dance in a sweaty crowd at a concert. It’ll be another Roaring ’20s is the consensus, it seems, the biggest party ever. But what if you’re scared to RSVP? 

“I was such a lunatic last March — honestly, last January. I was calling all my friends to be like, ‘There’s a virus coming, hunker down! Go get your beans!‘” New Jersey-based editor Elena Nicolaou, 26, explains in a soft, mock shout. “So now that it may soon be over, I should be the one talking about putting on a bikini and walking outside, but I’m not.” Nicolaou isn’t the only one who’s trepidatious about post-pandemic life. “I often feel the need to pretend I’m more excited than I am,” says Chicago-based journalist Emma Sarran Webster, 35. “Inside, I’m feeling all sorts of mixed up about it. Even just seeing people on social media get excited triggers [stress and anxiety].”

Nicolaou and Webster are not alone in feeling conflicted about getting to the other side of the pandemic — but because the end of a pandemic that has killed millions worldwide is obviously a positive thing, it’s rare to hear anyone talk about their anxiety at having to return to “normal,” and yet there’s little doubt that’s how many people are feeling. “Humans tend to be somewhat nervous or even resistant to change,” psychologist Dr. I-Ching Grace Hung tells Refinery29, explaining why even good change is terrifying. “There’s usually some level of anxiety or fear attached because evolutionarily our brains are built to like certainty. We try to do things that help us at least have a sense of control, so even if the change might be positive, there is still that uncertainty and unknown.”

Amid a year of intense uncertainty, one of the ways people have learned to cope is by asserting control in whatever way they can and establishing agency over their new lives. It’s understandable that it will be hard to give that up and enter yet another new era of uncertainty. For Nicolaou, control has come in the form of getting to work-from-home and abandoning a multi-hour daily commute. “The autonomy that I have over my schedule has been extremely liberating,” she shares. “I’ve been able to work on projects, try out cooking, and just have much more control over my free time, in a way that I find extremely empowering.” She’s also had more time to rest. “I no longer have bags under my eyes 24/7.” 

Nicolaou says that returning to her previous routine of offices and trains would make her feel “trapped,” and the idea of losing her freedom is terrifying. Brooklyn-based student and freelance journalist Shelby Hall, 23, feels the same. “This time with myself and those closest to me has brought out more of my drive and relentless passion, and I wouldn’t want that to go away when things go back to normal,” she shares, adding that she fears the common schedule of working 9 to 5 would make her “boring.” 

While some people have felt empowered to do things for themselves during this period, others feel like they didn’t take full advantage of the time, leading them to feel anxious about returning to a more conventional work routine for completely different reasons. “Even though logically I know I spent a lot of time this past year just trying to process everything that was going on and not be too hard on myself, in retrospect, I sometimes can’t help but beat myself up for ‘missed opportunities,'” Webster shares. “Why didn’t I use all of this downtime to make progress on the various creative ideas I’ve had floating around in my head for years? Why didn’t I get Invisalign when I knew I would be sitting at home all the time anyway? I suddenly feel like I don’t have time to do all of the things I’ve been putting off, and I wasted the chance to do them when I had nothing but time.”

While Webster is anxious about all the things she didn’t do during the pandemic, others are anxious about the things they did do, like moving or getting a pet. Nicolaou did both. Because she didn’t want to ride out COVID alone and because she’s close with her family, she gave up her apartment in New York City and moved home to New Jersey to live with her parents and sister. Together, she and her sister fulfilled a childhood dream and adopted a dog. Though she feels confident that these two decisions were right for her, they’ll pose complications when things go back to “normal.” She says, “It’s very easy to take care of a dog when you’re home all day, and I’m not sure what it’ll look like when I have to go back. Of course, I’ll figure it out. Everyone does. But I’m just honestly worried about the logistics of going back into the world.”

Throughout this period of instability and fear, people have, all in their own ways, worked hard to create little pockets of protection for themselves, and for many, that has included creating small social pods: Adult children moved back in with their parents, roommates became family, and partners grew even closer. After facing the trauma of 2020 side-by-side, it’s no wonder it’s frightening for many people to step back from that and let other people in. Dr. Hung acknowledges that it will take motivation, courage, and trust in other people to move forward from these familiar bubbles. One way to gain that courage is to construct new social boundaries for yourself. “Try to figure out what you actually want to do and don’t jump into it just because all of a sudden we can,” Dr. Hung suggests.

Having interacted with only a select group of people for so long not only created bonds that are difficult to break, but it may have also impaired some people’s social skills. Shelby DeWeese, a 28-year-old nonprofit arts administrator living in Minneapolis, says she’s really looking forward to hugging her parents, sister, and other loved ones when this is all over, but there are some interactions she’s nervous about. “Small talk in elevators, at parties, and during lunch at my workplace are a few of the many instances that would always stir up my anxiety even before the pandemic. Now that it’s been a year since I’ve had practice in this, I am not looking forward to readjusting,” she explains. “I have not socialized with anyone face-to-face except for my husband and two pet rabbits for a year. I am so grateful that I’ve been able to work from home safely and that an end is in sight for this deadly pandemic. But I am also fearful that many of the things I miss — going to group fitness classes, volunteering, dinner parties, board game nights — will be excruciatingly difficult. What do people even talk about?” 

Hall is also worried about this return to socializing. “I’ve always been a homebody, but I’ve grown to treasure it all the more. I just don’t know how I’ll be comfortable out in the world,” she says. Dr. Hung assumes it will be a little awkward for many of us at first, but says that acknowledging the readjustment period will help us to normalize and navigate the struggle. 

Another layer of post-pandemic social anxiety revolves around the fact that, for many people, there is no way to simply flip a switch and suddenly feel completely safe partying. “For the past year, we’ve been told to avoid other people, stay away from crowds, be extra aware of any possible signs of illness, so now, the idea of going into restaurants, socializing with groups of friends — indoors, of all places! — or even walking down a crowded sidewalk, just feels so daunting and dangerous,” Webster shares. 

The return of work schedules and social engagements means the return of other societal expectations, which, for some, is the most daunting prospect of all. “As a recent graduate trying desperately to be hired, I’m experiencing extreme anxiety about having to go back out into the world of early 20-somethings on their path to success,” says Amanda*, who is 22, unemployed, and currently living in Arizona with her parents. “As much as I hate it, the pandemic has acted like some sort of shield against the anxiety and scrutiny of not being where I need to be right now. I’m dreading a lunch or a coffee chat where we go around describing our jobs or even complaining about them.”

Webster, who quit her job and gave up her condo in February 2020 in order to embark on a six-month trip with her husband — only to be forced to return home with no plan or place to live just three weeks later — has been struggling through something similar. “I’ve experienced [anxiety] with pretty much every new reopening phase,” she explains. “Back in the summer, when talk of moving into the first post-lockdown phase began, I told my husband that I was feeling really anxious about it and I couldn’t pinpoint why. After all, shouldn’t I be excited to have even a little bit more freedom? He said, ‘Everyone else is going to start going back to their normal lives, and we don’t have a normal life to go back to right now.’ We were living in my mom’s basement, most of our belongings were in boxes at her house and in our storage unit, and we didn’t have jobs. So much about our lives and next steps were up in the air; so while lockdown was tough, at least it felt like we were still on ‘pause,’ and we didn’t have to figure things out right then.”

Perhaps, though, because it’s so hard to put life on pause, when people did manage to do so successfully, it brought them to a place of self-acceptance and peace — why would they want to press play again? “I think my nervousness stems from how much I’ve grown within my own self throughout the last year and how much my life has changed,” Hall shares. “I don’t want to go back to normal and lose myself in the craziness or in wanting to try to act like everybody else again.”

Nicolaou feels similarly, saying: “All of the things that I had set as pillars of my future, I realized were illusions — the trips I thought I would take, the things I’d hoped to accomplish in terms of my dating life by a certain age. Those never existed to begin with, they were never real.” After months of this no-plans perspective, Nicolaou’s outlook on the future and expectations for her life had transformed, in her opinion, for the better. So, when news broke that she would be eligible for the vaccine sooner than she expected, her immediate reaction scared her. “It was like a switch went off. I was like, ‘I can make plans now.’ I literally heard the typewriter clacking away in my head: Where am I going? What am I doing? Who am I seeing first? What clubs am I going out to dance at? It was a sensory overload.” She was thrilled when her grandparents and parents got vaccinated, but the thought of getting the vaccine herself gave her anxiety. “It was like, oh, now I have to go live my life again and go back to having those plans, those plans that were all-consuming and put pressure on me.” 

“For some, the pandemic has been a window into a different world of what could be,” Dr. Hung says. “In a ‘normal world,’ you have these sets of expectations for yourself and then in a non-normal world, so to speak, you shift those expectations accordingly. What that helps us realize is that we are the ones setting these expectations. You can actually shift those expectations anytime.” Dr. Hung says that this will take practice. “It won’t come easily to us necessarily because if the external changes, we still have to adapt to it in some way. Maybe the change will shift or look different, but it’s still up to you, it’s within your level of control to try to be intentional about maintaining that positive change.”

And yet, it can feel next to impossible to make those changes when one of the darker aspects of the COVID-19 pandemic has been how many people were suddenly exposed to the fact that life-altering events can happen at any moment — no matter what we’ve done to prepare. “Now, having seen the way the world could fall apart, it’s like I don’t have that trust anymore. I don’t have trust that it’s not all going to happen again. I think that this has changed my faith in the system holding, which in some ways, is good. I’m very privileged as an American, as a white woman to not have known that so viscerally,” Nicolaou shares. “I’m never going to go back into the world with that same carefree attitude.” Though this particular realization can be overwhelming, Dr. Hung says it’s key in being able to weather the constant ebbs and flows of life.

“The first step in building resilience is awareness and acceptance that constant change is a fundamental part of life,” she explains. “This can prepare us to not just brace for impact, but really lean into what may come” Maybe that means going to those crazy post-COVID parties, or maybe it means staying home in the suburbs with your dog. Either way, it means not worrying too much about “what if” and just living in the moment.

*Some names have been changed

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2020 was the year of the great indoors. And, since we couldn't recreate fresh ocean breezes inside our apartments, many of us relied on houseplants to revitalize our spaces. Now, we’re back in the swing of spring and it’s time to give that air-purifying indoor pandemic garden a refresh.

“Plants improve the quality of air in a small space,” Joyce Mast, Bloomscape’s Plant Mom, tells Refinery29. “Houseplants not only increase oxygen, but they’re also natural air purifiers and can remove toxins (including volatile organic compounds such as formaldehyde, found in everyday materials like paint and plastics).” While fresh air is nice and being surrounded by plants makes many of us happy, their air-purifying abilities can actually make us feel better physically as well. “Removing these toxins can reduce symptoms caused by pollutants like allergies, headaches, fatigue, etc,” the expert explains. “Plants absorb gasses via the spores on their leaves, reducing airborne mold and leaving us with fresh oxygen!"

With allergy season upon us and with us still spending time indoors, it's an ideal time to stock up on some new air-cleaning plants. But which ones should we be buying? "Though it is true that all plants purify the air in some way or form, there are a few that do it better than others," plant curator Riley Gallagher says. Ahead, Gallagher and Mast share the air-purifying plants they recommend most.

Scroll on to find out which clean-air producing plants are right for you and your home. Once you've decided which ones to go for, Gallaher advises dusting the leaves with a damp towel about once a month or more, depending on how dusty your home gets. This will ensure carbon dioxide can go in and oxygen can come out. As the plant curator says, "A happy plant is the best breath of fresh air one can get during these quarantimes."

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

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In late December, my mom told me she had just found out she would be getting the COVID-19 vaccine the following day. After months of worrying that my over-60 parents would get sick with COVID, I could now be sure that one of them, at least, would finally be a lot safer. The fact that she was eligible for the vaccine came as a surprise to me, her, and the rest of our family, but Tennessee, where she lives, had prioritized mental healthcare workers. My mom, a therapist, snagged an appointment without much trouble. Still, there was one obstacle: her guilt. 

My mom confided in me that, even though she qualified, she felt bad getting the vaccine since she’d transitioned to seeing clients virtually and thus felt like she wasn’t at a higher risk than any other 62-year-old. I have to admit, I kind of scoffed at her reservations. She wasn’t breaking any rules. Plus, she had worked tirelessly throughout the pandemic to support her clients, as well as her family and friends. Her guilt, in my mind, was completely uncalled for, and I told her so. After some reassurance, my mom went through with the appointment and was fully vaccinated by January 28. About two weeks later, my quick dismissal of my mom’s vaccine-uneasiness just a distant memory, I found myself experiencing nearly identical feelings of guilt when I found out I was eligible for the vaccine in New York — far sooner than I’d anticipated.

On the day that Governor Andrew Cuomo announced vaccination eligibility was expanding to include New Yorkers with comorbidities and underlying conditions, I scanned the list of what would make a person qualify and saw “heart conditions, including but not limited to heart failure, coronary artery disease, cardiomyopathies, or hypertension (high blood pressure).” Could it be me? 

I was born with a congenital heart defect called pulmonary valve stenosis. The valve between my heart’s right ventricle and pulmonary artery had not developed correctly in the womb, and, as a result, blood flow between the two was obstructed. I had a series of open-heart surgeries as a two-day-old, one-month-old, and two-year-old, none of which completely fixed the problem. My time in the hospital as a baby left me with seven scars, the two largest of which run from the top of my chest down to my stomach and across the entire right side of my back. My heart, too, was left with a hole, which means my oxygenated blood sometimes mixes with unoxygenated blood. What does that mean in my daily life now? Honestly, not that much. 

Okay, don’t get me wrong, having multiple surgeries before the age of three and missing a piece of a vital organ has definitely had a profound effect on my life and has had consequences for my physical and mental wellbeing. But now, at age 28, my lack of a pulmonary valve doesn’t loom so largely in my life. Yes, I am reminded of my health situation every time I walk up a flight of stairs, since I’m inevitably left winded, but that extra sweat and panting are, at worst, inconvenient and mildly embarrassing. As I’ve gotten older and gained more control over what my day-to-day life looks like, I’ve had to face fewer harsh realities related to my condition. Because my diagnosis isn’t something I think about all the time or even every day — especially now that I spend most of my time in my apartment rather than, like, walking up hills — I wondered if I was truly deserving of the vaccine. 

I confided my concerns to a few people, and just like I did with my mom, they acted swiftly to assuage my guilt about receiving my jab and encouraged me to sign up for an appointment as soon as possible. The rational side of my brain took over, and I made the decision to book something, but the guilt persisted — and actually got worse. 

Navigating through the hoops of booking a vaccine appointment was a stressful nightmare. I had to dig through Reddit message boards to find tips about when and where new appointments were posted and vigilantly refresh various websites hoping that I’d be lucky enough to jump on an open spot before it was booked by one of the many others who were doing the exact same thing. At first, I couldn’t help but think, What if one of those people is in a more critical medical situation than me? I set that thought aside and instead focused on scouring for an open appointment, something I could do relatively easily because I had time and internet know-how — two more things to feel guilty about. 

After two days of nearly constant monitoring, I managed to snag an appointment in my borough that was serving those with comorbidities. My guilt persisted. But why? I was following the rules, so why should I feel bad? Although I had been the one reassuring my mother just a couple months earlier, I couldn’t do the same thing for myself. So when I found out that, due to new vaccination sites opening up around New York City, I had gotten an appointment earlier than some people I know who are more at risk than I am, I felt terrible. It was just a few days’ difference, but it still felt so wrong. 

The pandemic has not affected all Americans equally, exposing even more clearly the huge inequities that exist in this country, and that holds true for the vaccination rollout as well: There are major disparities in who has been getting the vaccine. Though Black and brown people have been hardest hit by the pandemic, these communities are getting vaccinated at significantly lower rates than white communities. Those that live in wealthy areas are also receiving more vaccinations than those in poorer neighborhoods, and well-off white people are even infiltrating vaccination sites in low-income communities of color. The fact that you must have reliable internet access and a flexible work schedule to even be able to book an appointment further deepens these disparities. It should not be like this. In a country where nearly all of our systems are deeply flawed, this chaotic vaccine rollout is par for the course. But, it’s important to remind ourselves and others that refusing a vaccine if you qualify isn’t going to magically fix this broken system — and that, in fact, you’re protecting the most vulnerable people, including those who can’t get vaccinated, by getting your own shot as soon as you can.

“It’s important to remind ourselves and others that refusing a vaccine if you qualify isn’t going to magically fix this broken system — and that, in fact, you’re protecting the most vulnerable people by getting your own shot as soon as you can.”

While my own hang-ups — as well as the constant, unsolicited opinions on who should and shouldn’t be eligible for the vaccine flooding my Twitter feed — have made it difficult to rid myself of guilt completely, having loved ones in my corner who have pointed out that my vaccination does not mean someone else won’t get it has been vital. I had been able to see that when it came time for my mother’s vaccine, but I didn’t feel deserving myself. And yet, what does being “deserving” even mean? Every human deserves lifesaving medical technology, just like every human deserves basic healthcare. But, deserving these basic rights doesn’t mean everyone gets them, and, ironically, many of the very people who are classified as having comorbidities — whether a chronic illness, medical condition, or BMI over 30 — are often the ones who have been the most dismissed, neglected, mistreated, or even harmed by our healthcare system. There isn’t much equity in our healthcare system, but this, at least, feels like a step in the right direction.

When it came time for me to get the shot, I thought back to something I’d been planning for months: a post-jab selfie. I had long looked forward to sharing an image of myself, proudly holding up my arm on Instagram. Though my mouth would be covered by a mask (or two), you would immediately be able to tell that I was smiling. Back when the vaccines first became available, I was deeply obsessed with watching videos of healthcare workers getting their shots. I gasped with delight every time I came across a photo of someone’s elderly parents or grandparents with a BandAid on their bicep. Each of these posts provided me with a massive dose of hope and I was excited to eventually share my own. Now that the time had come, though, I couldn’t bring myself to hit the post button. 

I did take a selfie, which I sent to my partner, my immediate family, and my best friend, as I waited the requisite 15 minutes post-inoculation. But my guilt prevented me from putting the image anywhere public, especially because I felt the photo would need extensive context. My disability is a virtually invisible one, and I was too worried about the reactions from followers who wouldn’t understand why I qualified for the shot. 

My followers — anybody, really — can’t tell by looking at me that I don’t have a pulmonary valve. They also don’t know about the PTSD I struggled with throughout my childhood and adolescence, caused by years of being poked and prodded by doctors and nurses before I could even verbalize the feelings of violation. For a long time, I was grateful that I went through a lot of the physical trauma before my memory had developed, but the truth is your body is able to remember things even if your brain can’t. Those who don’t know me in an intimate, meaningful way also don’t know how humiliating it was for me to be a kid who couldn’t play tag or pass a swim test at camp, or how painful it was to have to explain myself to P.E. teachers who accused me of not trying hard enough. They don’t know that my heart condition will be a factor in some of the biggest decisions I’ll make in my life, like whether or not I’ll ever be pregnant. And they definitely don’t know about the incalculable times I’ve been questioned about my experience relating to my diagnosis. They don’t know about the nurses who have insisted that I’m not actually having the symptoms I’m reporting, or the doctors who haven’t taken the time to familiarize themselves with my medical history — either because they didn’t have time or because they couldn’t be bothered. 

These experiences have left me feeling alarmed and terrified to the point of tears about what might happen to me. I’ve been ignored by big hospitals when I desperately needed answers. I’ve also been told categorically incorrect information about my health. And yet, when it finally came time to take my health into my own hands, after years of being doubted by the healthcare system, I was still left feeling guilty. I was still the one doing the questioning, and wondering how others might be questioning me. I know it should be the system that questions itself and the people who shame strangers on the internet who should be interrogating their own motives, rather than mine, but, old habits are hard to break, even as I try to do just that.

Right before my vaccine appointment, my mom sent me a series of reassuring texts, just as I had done for hers two months earlier. We discussed all the bullshit we had dealt with from those both in- and outside of the medical system. I joked that being prioritized for the vaccine maybe made some of what I’ve endured my whole life worth it. As the mother of a formerly sick and anxious kid, she said it definitely still wasn’t, but she did concede that it was somewhat of a consolation prize. In a world where most of the people who get things first had a head-start from the day they were born, going for the gold — or silver or bronze — is usually impossible. So if you have the chance to get a consolation prize? Take it and run with it. I did. Guilt be damned.

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