Why Everyone Is Talking About Andrew Yang’s Israel Tweet

May 11, 2021BruceDayne

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New York mayoral candidate Andrew Yang is once again trending on Twitter — but this time, it isn’t because of his rehomed puppy or his thoughts on bodegas. On Monday, May 10, Yang shared a staunch pro-Israel stance amid the attacks and forced expulsions in the Sheikh Jarrah neighborhood of East Jerusalem. The attempted displacement of six Palestinian families led to increased violence and tension between Israeli forces and Palestinians, which culminated in deadly airstrikes in the Palestinian territory of Gaza on Monday. In response to his tweet, #YangSupportsGenocide began trending Monday night.

“I’m standing with the people of Israel who are coming under bombardment attacks, and condemn the Hamas terrorists,” Yang tweeted. “The people of NYC will always stand with our brothers and sisters in Israel who face down terrorism and persevere.”

I’m standing with the people of Israel who are coming under bombardment attacks, and condemn the Hamas terrorists. The people of NYC will always stand with our brothers and sisters in Israel who face down terrorism and persevere.
— Andrew Yang🧢🗽🇺🇸 (@AndrewYang) May 10, 2021

Yang was widely criticized by users on Twitter, many of them American and some Israeli and Palestinian, for misrepresenting the violence in East Jerusalem, disregarding the full context of the Hamas rocket attacks, and failing to speak out in support of the Palestinians facing police violence. For decades, Israeli settler organizations have attempted to displace Palestinians from their homes in East Jerusalem, but tensions between Palestinians and the Israeli government escalated this week in light of an expulsion order currently being contested in court.

The order, which would forcibly expel six families from the homes they’ve had for generations, has prompted ongoing confrontations between Palestinians and Israeli police: On Monday, officers stormed a mosque, fired rubber bullets and tear gas, and wounded over 300 unarmed Palestinians.

In response, Hamas fired several rockets at Israel. Israel responded with air raids on the Gaza Strip, killing more than 21 Palestinians, including children, reported the Gaza health ministry. Yang’s tweets have come under fire in light of the attacks.

“This is a disgustingly cynical move,” tweeted Marc Lamont Hill. “You’ve said nothing about Sheikh Jarrah. Nothing about evictions. Nothing about the gross violations of human rights and international law. Nothing about the violence of an occupying force. You are awful.”

Professional wrestler Sami Zayn also criticized Yang’s statement. “Maybe not the most tasteful statement to make within hours of Israel bombing Gaza and killing 20 Palestinians, 9 of whom were children,” he commented. And many others drew attention to the fact that far-right conservatives like Sen. Ted Cruz and former Trump advisor Stephen Miller are showing their support for Yang.

Yang, is LITERALLY echoing Tom Cotton’s message on Israel….#YangSupportsGenocide

Fuck both of these imperialist monsters#FreePalestine pic.twitter.com/0Kf9Ekqmzo
— Mo 🪑🧤 (@MozFrame) May 11, 2021

As a proud Jewish New Yorker, please fuck ALL THE WAY OFF with this vile pandering to right wing zealots when most Jews are REPULSED about what the Israeli government is doing to the Palestinians. This is REPUGNANT #NotInMyName
— Stefanie Iris Weiss (@EcoSexuality) May 10, 2021

Polls indicate that Yang is currently holding a lead in the mayoral race’s Democratic primary. His stance on Israel has been a point of controversy since he entered the race in January: In an op-ed for The Forward, he loudly denounced the anti-Zionist Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions movement, and then backtracked, while attempting to clarify his position. As Politico’s Sally Goldenberg noted, Yang’s flip-flopping has frustrated people on both sides of the issue.

Yang isn’t the only mayoral candidate who’s wading into this conversation, though. Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams, the other frontrunner in the race and a “gun-toting Republican,” according to Yang’s team, released a similar statement in support of Israel. “New York City’s bond with Israel remains unbreakable. I stand shoulder to shoulder with the people Israel at this time of crisis,” Adams wrote on Twitter.

Progressive candidate Dianne Morales acknowledged the violence against Palestinians in a broader statement about the conflict. “Our world needs leaders who recognize humanity and the dignity of all lives. Whether in NYC, Colombia, Brazil or Israel-Palestine, state violence is wrong,” she wrote early Tuesday morning. “Targeting civilians is wrong. Killing children is wrong. Full stop.”

Although it might seem unusual that candidates for a local office are commenting on international conflicts, the violence has reverberations felt worldwide, especially in New York, a city with the world’s largest Jewish population. The U.S. has also been involved in the dispute since World War II: Like former Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, President Joe Biden has spoken in favor of a two-state solution, while Former President Donald Trump created another plan that would have shrunk Palestinian territory in the West Bank.

Now, New Yorkers are making it clear where they stand. “I’m Jewish. I’m a New Yorker,” one user wrote. “But I’m also a member of the many Jews who understand that what Israel is doing to the Palestinians is a genocide. We cannot let Andrew Yang get the Democratic nomination for NYC mayor.” Yang has yet to respond to the backlash.

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Black Women Relationships: A Mean Girl from Church Speaks Out

May 11, 2021BruceDayne

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Black Women Relationships: A Mean Girl from Church Speaks Out

As told to Veronica Wells-Puoane of NoSugarNoCreamMag.com

When I say I was a mean girl, I don’t mean like the movie. I was a church girl, still am a church girl. My mom has been a minister since I was 7-years-old. And then she became the assistant pastor. So I was at the forefront of the church. I was the most well-known girl there.

I was in everything. I was on the dance minister, in the choir. I was the president of the Youth Auxiliary Board, all of that. So I had power. Or influence. But influence can be power.

What I would say my most prominent example of being a mean girl has to do with, of course, a boy.

There was this guy that I had thought I loved since I was 13. And we had this forbidden love because my mom was super uber conservative. You could not have a boyfriend until you were 16.

We had love. And we would sneak around and see each other. And we ended up getting caught, making out in church. So my mom forbid me from dating this boy.

We broke up and he started dating another girl at the church. She had probably been there for maybe two years.

So I started saying little, slick things about this girl to my friends. This girl wore braces and I would say, ‘How do you have brackets with no wires? What’s going on with that? That’s not really even doing anything.’

I was planting the seeds of why people shouldn’t like her. When, in all actuality, I was hurt by him and the fact that he chose to date somebody at church when he knew I was the dominant person at the church and how dare you pick somebody who–in my mind– didn’t match up to who I was and what I brought to the table.

Me and this girl were in the choir together. And there was some rule we’d made up that said if you didn’t make it to choir rehearsal before we sang on Sunday, then you couldn’t sing. And I had let other people slide. But this girl, I was like, ‘Oh no.’ And I wasn’t the one to say that to her, somebody else did my dirty work.

My friends were mean to her and didn’t give her a chance. And even after they broke up, I would hear stuff from my friends who didn’t go to the church about her and I would share that with other people.

Just mean, really mean. Getting people to not give her a chance because of this initial issue I had, that actually wasn’t her fault.

We had beef through college.

She was in Tennessee. I was in Missouri and we just could not be around each other when we came home to Memphis because again, she knew that I didn’t like her and it had everything to do with our shared ex. She knew that I had turned people away from being her friend because of the issues that I had.

Eventually, I had a come to Jesus moment where I sent her a long message on Facebook. I apologized, writing something like, ‘I’m so sorry that I was so mean and had people play against you.’

We’re okay now. I can’t speak for her. I don’t know that it was a deep hurt. But I know that I made an experience that should have been enjoyable, going to church and participating in all these activities, so un-enjoyable, that I don’t know that we could ever be friends.

And it’s not necessarily that I want to be friends, there’s just going to always be that tension.

NSNC: What contributed to your come to Jesus moment? What made you realize you had mistreated her and needed to apologize?

Denisha Thomas: I think being at Mizzou, I started going to this really small AME church. Because I grew up AME. And I started teaching at the church. I was getting really deep into my word, reading a lot of scriptures about how if you had wronged somebody, you need to go back and ask for their forgiveness.

And I was also thinking, you’re about to go out into the world and there are some things you really need to leave behind or try and fix.

Now, ten years later, I’m always asking myself, ‘Did I hurt somebody?’ ‘Was I right?’ ‘Did my words cut too deep?’ I meant what I said but was there a way that I could have said it not to tear somebody down but to correct them.

NSNC: You mentioned taking your frustrations with the guy you liked out on this girl. A lot of us do that. Even grown women. We’re conditioned to see women as the problem or the obstacle to overcome. And we end up placing more blame on women than necessary. Did you ever come to that realization?

DT: I did. It took a lot of introspection and looking at my own relationship with my own girlfriends. I have always been a girls’ girl. I try to pride myself on that. I was never one of those women who said, ‘I don’t hang out with women.’ I mean, I have sisters. My mom and my dad both come from big families. I’ve always been around women who believe in empowering each other and all of that.

And then again, when I was doing that introspective, I had ask myself how can I pride myself on that if I’ve done wrong by this woman about a Negro I don’t even have a connection to? We don’t even live in the same city anymore. How dare I treat this girl so meanly? I can’t say women empowerment, all about my sisters and I mistreated this woman because of a man–a boy at the time.

This girl and I ended up having a conversation again, after I apologized, because she moved back to Memphis, I moved back to Memphis and so did the guy. There was a whole off and on with this guy for almost ten years.

NSNC: I know that story!

DT: He and I dated off and on for ten years. And he eventually ended up dating her again as well. That’s a whole ‘nother issue with him. But when they started dating again, we were friends and he was afraid to tell me. I’m like, ‘Dude, I don’t care.’ Don’t try to put that on me that my feelings are hurt or that I have ill will towards her.

Looking back on it now, he was too young to realize that he played a role in that as well. But it took a lot of me saying, I can’t say I’m one thing but reflect another thing in my actions. I want my actions to mimic my words.

We don’t have to be best friends but I can’t hold these feelings against you. I think I even went back to some of my friends back then and said, ‘Y’all, we were really mean to so-and-so.’

They were like, ‘Yeah, I mean…it’s whatever.’ And I’m like no, we were really mean to that girl.

NSNC: Can you point to anything in your upbringing or conditioning that made you regard girls or women a certain way?

DT: I don’t know that it was necessarily my upbringing but more of a societal thing where you stake your claim in someone and that’s it. ‘That’s mine and don’t nobody else touch that because that’s mine. That’s my territory don’t you touch it.’

I grew up in the era of “The Boy Is Mine.”

In movies that I saw, in songs that I hear, that’s my guy. There’s this girl code. If I dated him, you don’t date him either, even if we’re not friends. We’re associates and everybody knew that it was all me. Looking back, it was all stupid.

I think everyone around me knew that. But this girl didn’t know me and had no loyalty to me.

NSNC: Do you think the church environment contributed to the way you treated this girl?

DT: We should love our neighbors is what we were taught but I don’t know that I was necessarily taught to have healthy relationships with women through the church, if that makes sense.

NSNC: Yep!

DT: I think that, like most Black churches, we were very cliquey and if you weren’t part of a certain stature or didn’t do a certain amount of things, if you weren’t the chosen leaders, then there was a certain level of disdain for those who weren’t a part of those crews and those cliques.

I was in every ministry and then there were cliques within every ministry.

I do believe that even if they didn’t perpetuate those thoughts, there was nothing done to counteract that. I think the adults saw it but the adults lived that way too. That was their experience as well. They were very cliquey.

In our church, we had doctors and lawyers and the well to do folk all hung out with each other. And if you were middle class, you kind of had your own clique. So there was a caste system within the church.

I believe the church helped to reinforce it even if it wasn’t explicitly taught.

NSNC: I think a lot of women don’t have that same come to Jesus moment that you had. So they surround themselves with other women who don’t have good relationships with women and they don’t ever see anything wrong with it. Then they’ll have daughters who don’t see anything wrong with it. And it becomes this cycle and that’s why we hear things like, ‘I don’t have female friends.’ Because no one ever really questioned why they feel so strongly against other women.

DT: Especially with Black women, we’re so disrespected. We’re so undervalued. We’re still being disrespected in our own community, especially among men. We’re obviously disrespected by others and since we’re undervalued, how dare we not be there for each other? We got too many other battles to be fighting to be worried about each other.

We are the shit and we should really be there for one another.

I think about some of my hardest moments in life and my girlfriends helped to pull me through it. My girlfriends prayed and cried with me and kept me encouraged.

If I am fortunate enough to have daughters, I always want to teach them men come and go, fine. But you want to have a good, solid group of girlfriends. And recognize that if you aren’t the mean girl, if your girlfriend is, you should want to call her out on it. If she doesn’t want to change it, then you might need to reevaluate that friendship because you don’t want to be influenced like that. Because it will happen.

NSNC: And my mother used to tell me, if she’ll talk about another woman like a dog, she’ll talk about you like a dog too when you’re not around.

DT: Absolutely. If they’re gossiping with you, they’re gossiping about you. I really hope that since we’re all supposed to be inside, (We’re still in the middle of a pandemic, guys.), I hope that people will take the time to do some inner work. Not just for the benefit of yourself but for the benefit of others.

I think people are starting to realize that these mindsets are passed down from our elders. And I hope that our generation will be the one to break those curses and the mindset of, ‘Well, that’s the way we’ve always done it.’ Well, no. Let’s really look at why we do it, the root cause and let’s fix it.

Veronica Wells-Puoane is the creator of the website NoSugarNoCreamMag. She is the author of “Bettah Days” and You’ll Be All Write, a question and answer journal for Black women. She is also the culture editor at MadameNoire.com.

Find more of her articles by Veronica on Curlynikki.com, HERE!

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Daddy Diary – The Mythology of the Self-Anointed High Value Man and the Essential Need For Highly Engaged Fathers

May 10, 2021BruceDayne

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I cannot overstate the following sentiment enough: The Internet is currently inundated with self-proclaimed lifestyle and relationship consultants dispensing brutally terrible advice to individuals that are obviously seeking to address some void in their lives. Generally, I don’t consciously wade into muddy social media waters, but some of the guidance that these men have offered is pure, unadulterated foolishness. Now, before I address the main issue of my unsolicited tirade, I have to place some due respect on the game. The recipe: Conflate some minor truth with your own prejudiced agenda, deliver inflammatory content in a controversial manner targeted at a specific demographic, and articulate your points so convincingly that you are perceived as a credible source. If the objective is to stimulate increased viewership, it is an extremely effective tactic, especially when combined with classic gaslighting.

So, what is it that has me slightly agitated at the moment? Well, I decided to view this one particular self-appointed expert regarding the definition of a high value man. After seeing all the buzz on social media, I wanted to see what had everyone talking. To be perfectly clear, the term high value man is extremely subjective. Nevertheless, the term was intriguing and I was curious regarding the involved prerequisites that had women clamoring for the opportunity to secure one. Viewing a few videos, it appeared the term revolved exclusively around elevated social status and wealth. Upon listening to one particular broadcast, I quickly realized the litany of responsibilities heaped upon women were tired misogynistic tropes that reminded me of a Mad Men era that became extinct long ago. I won’t explore a point by point analysis, but one proclamation that stood out was terribly problematic for me. Allow me to set the scene; a young woman calls into broadcast inquiring about the attainment of a high quality man. What followed was a bewildering, painful listen that left me wondering how people took this man seriously.

The speaker addresses the hard work required by a wife to keep said high value man. This assertion especially caught my attention: You’re (the wife) up at 5 o’clock in the morning, going to the gym, working out, making sure that by the time you get back, the kids are up. You have the kids breakfast ready, the kids are out the door. Make sure the kids get back home, the homework gets done, the kids are ready to go. I ain’t doing nothing for the kids. You have to get the kids ready to go…parent teacher conferences, homework, and everything else. I just look over it from an executive position and say great. Then you get the kids ready to go on and so forth. and then you serve your husband.

Now, if that looks like a tough read, it sounded much worse on video. And I even omitted some parts that further highlighted the servile role of the wife in the marriage. To be sure, this guidance from a “professional” is garbage. Now, full disclosure, I am not licensed in the field of psychology or social behavior, but anyone with a grain of commonsense can recognize bad advice when it is so nakedly blatant. Allow me to be perfectly clear, regardless of economic status, a man never abdicates his responsibilities as a father. There is more to providing for one’s family beyond providing for one’s family. In the context above, the husband (a 6 figure earner) has been reduced to the role of an automated workhorse whose sole purpose is to provide financial stability to his kid(s) and indentured servant. Apologies, I meant to type wife there.

Now, be sure to recognize this: An absentee father does not necessarily correlate to a man that does not reside with his children. An absentee father can indeed live under the same roof. If he is not fully present mentally, emotionally, or spiritually for his kids – then that man is indeed absent. A man simply cannot be disengaged from his children. A man should not be so absorbed in his professional life to the detriment of his relationship with his children, or his wife for that matter. You will work yourself to death and your job will be posted before your obituary, while your children won’t even know the man being eulogized. Fathers need to be fathers. That is why the advice and viewpoint above is so wantonly reckless. It is imperative that men are totally engaged in their children’s lives, whether in or out of the house. I understand that an individual has a right to their opinion. And the Internet is wide open for anyone to espouse an ideology on any platform. So, it is my duty to encourage, educate, and empower you with some facts courtesy of fatherhood.org.

Involved fathers improve their children’s overall emotional and social well-being.
Involved fathers reduce moms’ parenting stress.
Children with absent fathers are more likely to become absent fathers themselves.
Boys have fewer behavior problems and girls have fewer psychological problems when they have involved fathers.
Father involvement in schools is associated with higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A’s.
A father’s involvement during pregnancy positively influences health outcomes for mom, dad, and baby.
Daughters are less likely to engage in risky sexual behavior when they have consistent contact, and a sense of closeness with their dads.
Involved fathers lead to less distress in toddlers.
Children with involved dads are less likely to be mistreated.
One in four children live in a home without a dad.

Social media has elevated superficiality to such dizzying heights, the obvious deprivation of oxygen has impaired rational, logical thought in some individuals. If you are an adult and still utilize fabricated grade school metrics to assess beauty; perhaps you should reevaluate your current state of maturity. Now, I am not here to call anyone out for clout or stimulate website views – I run a small operation here. Nevertheless, small platform or not, moral courage is what compels my voice address disinformation and otherwise bad counsel. This is not rocket science. I wholly understand that the term “high value man” is a hot Internet catchphrase right now. However, the definition of value in this regard has been perverted to massage male fragility and insecurity while masquerading as self-professed alpha male. Engaged fathers matter. Fully present fathers matter. Attentive fathers matter. I won’t get into deep dive regarding what determines a high value man. I’ve been chronicling specific standards that I believe a man should uphold on this site since 2008 – far before high value man became a buzzword. My thoughts generally focus on principled core values and ethical fundamentals. Many facets of a gentleman’s life (professional, family, community, talent/skill, personality) should account for what determines value. Bottom-line, again, fathers need to be fathers.

Today, without provocation, my daughter blurted out the definition of opaque. Approximately one week ago, she was discussing the concept of transparency (she had learned it in school), so I asked her if she knew the definition of opaque. She did not, and so I explained. Today, without provocation, she decided to reiterate that knowledge. She was so proud. And where did our initial conversation occur? It occurred during school pick-up. Me picking up the kids from school – fancy that. Miles knows how to pick fresh parsley, sauté vegetables, and grate various foods. How? Well, that is accomplished by inviting my son into the kitchen to prepare dinner for the family. Wait – I’m not supposed to be cooking, or shopping, or cleaning am I? Shame on me for engaged in matters of my home beyond paying a bill.

Trust, there is a tremendous benefit to being able to financially support or contribute to one’s family. Nevertheless, it would be woefully ignorant to underestimate the sense of fulfillment when you practice selflessness and serve your family. In addition to his family, a man will be performing a disservice to himself by depriving his life of those intimate, meaningful connections that can only be achieved through significant interaction. That value is incalculable. The pride that wells inside your chest as you watch your daughter recite the church poem you practiced with her days before. The gratitude you feel when your son grabs his stool to reach the counter because he never turns down an opportunity to cook with his father. The excitement you feel Christmas morning as you see the elation in their eyes as they tear through gifts. The feeling of devotion you feel when you set the alarm on your phone to wake up in timed intervals to deliver breathing treatments to your infant daughter through her crib bars. The trust you feel when you’re called to remove a splinter from a hand or foot. Amusement. Joy. Affection. In matters of your mental and emotional well-being, you cannot place a price tag on that. There are days when a memory or picture of my children is required to get me through the day. I need them as much as they need me some days.

Look, I’m not extraordinary special. I just understand the importance of engaged fatherhood. So, salute to Iman B. for exposing his son to woodworking during those special home projects. Salute to Adrian S. for his involvement in his son’s athletics and traveling out of state to attend championship tournaments. Salute to Milon B. for being involved with both his son and daughter during STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) activities. These are gentlemen within my peer group. And to any gentleman out there in the real world handling their business as nurturers and providers – salute to you too.

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