There's nothing better than wandering down a well-stocked drugstore beauty aisle. But navigating all those good hair, makeup, and skin-care options can be tricky: What if you accidentally pick the wrong concealer shade, or grab a formula that will irritate your skin? What if you want to test out a lipstick shade, but can't see through the cap?
Well, the first rule of beauty shopping is to not get overwhelmed. So to help keep things simple, streamlined, and color-matched, we rounded up five tips straight from a beauty editor — including how to get $10 cashback to spend on makeup when you pay with your PayPal or Venmo app. Keep these in mind on your next trip down the CVS aisles so you can make the most of your shopping spree.
Come prepared with research
Beauty bloggers do drugstore hauls all the time, putting in the time and energy to swatch and test products so you can get an idea of how a product acts IRL. (They’re basically the equivalent of Yelp for the beauty aisle.) Find a blogger whose skin tone or general style matches yours best (I’m a big fan of @cocoaswatches, who always delivers on drugstore recs) and save their reviews to keep as a reference while you’re shopping in case you need a tiebreaker between two contour sticks.
Set a budget and stick to it
This one can be tricky, but here’s a pro tip: Use your Venmo or PayPal app instead of cash or cards — the touch-free payment experience is a quick and easy way to check out and can help you digitally keep track of how much you're spending. Plus, your first in-store purchase of $20 or more gets you $10 cash back, which means you can go ahead and grab that extra lipstick, after all.
Take some notes
If you have sensitive skin or you’re trying to avoid certain ingredients, write them all down beforehand (I stay away from dimethicone in hair-care products because I want water-soluble shine, for example). That’s why I keep a running list of ingredients that are major no’s for me on my phone. Do the same, and you won’t have to frantically Google what the official science name for talc is when you’re in a hurry to grab an eyeshadow (it's magnesium silicate, by the way).
Shop with your favorite products
Since testing makeup in-store is a thing of the past, bring your go-to foundation or concealer along on your shopping trip. Comparing products in their tubes and bottles isn’t a foolproof system — the dry-down color change is real — but you can also check ingredients lists, undertones, and other details listed on packaging to be sure you're not too far off base (no pun intended).
Always, always keep your receipt
Right after you pay, put your receipt into your wallet or a pocket that won’t get washed, because CVS has an impressive beauty product return policy: If you hold onto your receipt, your local CVS will let you return makeup (even opened and used makeup) within 60 days.
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It’s been 73 years since the first Oscar for Best Costume Design was awarded. Back then, the category was divided into two awards — for black-and-white and color films — with Roger K. Furse winning the former for Hamlet and Dorothy Jenkins and Barbara Karinska taking home the gold statue for Joan of Arc. While their names went down in history, these costume designers did not enjoy the celebrity of today’s pros like Sex and the City’s Patricia Field and Gossip Girl’s Eric Daman.
“People didn’t know who did the costumes [for films and TV],” says Salvador Perez, president of the Costume Designers Guild, an organization founded in 1953 to protect costume designers. “They’d know what the costume was and who wore it.” Over time, with the help of more televised award shows like the Golden Globes and the Emmys, as well as social media, this has changed.
Yet, as costume designers’ work is celebrated in public, they often don’t receive the acknowledgment they deserve behind the scenes.
In an industry plagued by pay inequity and gender bias, it’s no surprise that costume designers are victims of the same issues. “The majority of costume designers are women, and they are ignored,” says Perez, who’s worked as a costume designer on shows like The Mindy Project. “[The industry] thinking is, ‘Well, it’s just shopping, my wife can do that.’” As a man working in a role dominated by women — the Costume Designers Guild is composed of nearly 90% women — Perez says he’s been previously paid more than his female counterparts: “It’s proof that it’s a gender thing.”
Costume designer Janie Bryant, who worked on AMC’s Mad Men and HBO’s Deadwood, says that within productions, costume designers are not only getting smaller checks but are also recognized less than directors, producers, cinematographers, and production designers, which are traditionally “men’s roles.”
According to the Costume Designers Guild, costume designers make a minimum of $2,952.11 for TV production and $3,139.86 for film work. Meanwhile, the weekly rate in the Art Directors Guild is $3,754.47 for both TV and film, according to Variety. “Part of our big mission right now is pay equity,” says Perez. “Those roles get paid more than we do, why? We’re all department heads.” Bryant agrees that costume design should be held in the same regard because “what the audience sees on the screen is the actor, and they see the actor in costume.”
And audiences are taking notice. Perez says that social media has helped movie and TV fans understand how crucial the role of costume design is. Bryant first started noticing a shift in 2007, when Vera Wang showed a collection inspired by Deadwood’s Victorian-era costumes. “That was the first kind of recognition I got outside of the film business,” she says. Bryant recalls a similar phenomenon occurred when designers like Prada started releasing collections inspired by the 1960s at the time Mad Men was on air (2007-2015). “I’m very thankful for that and for all the bloggers and Instagrammers who took the time to celebrate my work,” she says.
But while platforms like Instagram have helped the creators get more recognition, it has also led to a proliferation of fan pages showcasing the looks featured — something that costume designers are often prohibited from doing, according to Perez. So while accounts like @madmenstyles and @everyoutfitonsatc are amassing thousands of followers, many costume designers are contractually obligated to keep their name off their work or prohibited from posting behind-the-scenes photos from production. “When we sign a contract, it’s often forbidden for us to post any images on Instagram,” says Perez. “So productions are letting fans profit off the work we are doing.” Although accounts like @justlikethatcloset often credit those responsible for the looks — in the case of And Just Like That…, Molly Rogers and Danny Santiago — Perez says costume designers “could literally be fired for doing what the fans do.”
Then there is the issue of not being credited or consulted entirely. Last year, the Costume Designers Guild launched the #CreditCostumeDesigners campaign to urge studios to credit and compensate designers whenever their work ends up inspiring merch and apparel collaborations. In June, the hashtag took off when Disney released a Cruella-inspired collection with fashion brand Rag & Bone. According to Variety, the film’s costume designer Jenny Beavan had no knowledge of the line prior to its release. “I just was sort of horrified,” Beavan told the publication. This is hardly the first time that a costume designer hasn’t been credited, consulted, or paid for merchandising and apparel deals based on their work.
“Movie studios make thousands of dollars from costumes we design, and we’re not compensated for that,” says Perez. “We’d be happy even if they just credit us, honestly. ”
While there are some instances where the creators have been included — see: the Banana RepublicMad Men-inspired collection created in collaboration with Bryant in 2011 and the Birds of Prey costume designer Erin Benach’s line of jewelry inspired by the film — many others continue to be left behind by contracts and outshined by fan Instagram accounts.
In response, Rogers and Santiago created their own account dedicated to the Sex and the City reboot, which Perez says was championed by actress and executive producer Sarah Jessica Parker. Rather than ID looks though, @andjustlikethatcostumes chronicles behind-the-scenes moments between the cast and designers before they hit Getty Images, offering hints as to how the costumes play a role in the storyline. Similarly, Bryant has taken charge of her own work. Although accounts like @madmenstyles document and analyze her work on Mad Men, Bryant uses her own Instagram account, @costumedesignerjaniebryant, to give fans deep dives into her past work on shows like Why Women Kill, Deadwood, and The Last Tycoon, amassing over 70,000 followers.
“I don’t tell my members to just use social media,” says Perez. “But to use it so they can empower themselves and their work. ” As costume designers’ profiles are elevated with the help of social media and fashion enthusiasts, the question remains if they’ll ever be able to reap the rewards of their seams. Until they do, fans will continue double-tapping every post.
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Editor’s Note:Insomnia is a common sleep disorder that can make it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. The below testimonials represent personal anecdotes surrounding sleeplessness in quarantine. When experiencing symptoms of insomnia, it may be important for you to consult your healthcare provider.
In the past year, while we’ve weathered months on end of prolonged quarantine, the notion of “a good night’s sleep” has radically shifted. And for some of us, it’s been a turn for the worst: erratic sleep schedules, restlessness, insomnia, you name it.
Even for those of us who identify as traditionally healthy sleepers, this is a common phenomenon. Late at night, more and more of us are finding ourselves doom-scrolling, or ruminating on things like health anxieties, finances, and work-life balance (or the lack thereof). And, whether you’ve been diagnosed with insomnia by a health care provider, or you’re just finding it difficult to normalize your bedtime hours in quarantine, it’s certainly worth addressing.
That’s why we tapped six different women experiencing some form of sleeplessness right now to share the tried-and-tested personal solutions they’ve discovered to help with more restful nights at home — from lavender essential oil regimens and late-night walks to ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) head lice videos. Of course, you should always consult your doctor first when it comes to consistent sleeplessness, but if you’re looking for a little late-night camaraderie, these first hand accounts from women across the country detail the sometimes silly, always well intentioned, occasionally absurd tactics they’ve employed to combat their own sleeplessness in quarantine. And while these solves won’t replace medical advice, they will offer a little voyeurism into other folks’ waking hours.
“I am extremely passionate about sleep (I feel best when I’m getting nine or even 10 hours per night), but I also can’t resist the siren call of social media, so ‘doomscrolling’ has been my downfall this past year. In March and April, I was glued to my phone, tracking the rising COVID-19 cases, hospitalizations, and deaths. In May and June, I was reading everything I could about Breonna Taylor, George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter protests. Most recently, it’s the vaccine rollout and evolving virus variants that have me preoccupied.
So, instead of trying to quit my late-night screen habit, I’ve decided to use it to my advantage. These days, YouTube videos that fall under the category of what I call ‘unintentional ASMR’ have become my sleepy-time secret weapon. Traditional whisper videos don’t work for me; I go for interviews or instructional videos featuring nice, pleasant voices that have zero affiliation to the current news cycle. My all-time favorites include a random beauty interview with Victoria Beckham (a vocal icon), anything from my favorite cat-centric Youtube channel (in-depth reviews of different kitty litters and foods, exciting stuff!), and a healthcare video about head lice (so gross, I know — but it works, so I watch!). Occasionally, it’ll take a few of these in a row before I drift off, but often, I’m almost asleep after one.”
“I’ve never been a good sleeper. Pandemic aside, I’ve always been filled with existential dread. So, I decided to make better sleep my quarantine project. Pre-COVID, I got around four hours [of sleep] a night due to work, constant travel, and stress — but now, I get around five or six hours and I feel much more well-rested. The key for me isn’t going to bed early, but rather, going to bed after 11:30 or midnight so I can stay asleep all night — and also, sticking to a hyper specific nighttime routine.
The first part of my bedtime routine is to go outside and get fresh air. If I work from home, then I require five minutes of outside-time no matter the weather. Next, I take my standard multi-vitamins. Then, I take a scalding hot shower, before moving through my aggressive, Joan Crawford-esque skincare routine, and make sure I have at least two liters of water at my bedside, so I don’t have to exit the room once the turn down starts (I call it that because going to sleep is a process. I’ve never been able to just fall asleep so I need to make it a really sensory experience). I put all of my devices on their respective chargers, refill my humidifier with water and citrus essential oils, burn palo santo, and then stretch. I stop looking at my phone an hour before I should be asleep, and watch a show I’ve already seen, then I’ll usually drift off about 20 minutes after its started. I wouldn’t exactly recommend this routine to everyone, being that it’s highly tailored to my own needs — which demand that I create structure to make sense of this mess — but it’s certainly worked for me.
— Dione, 33, quarantined in Brooklyn with her three roommates
“When all this madness started last March, I went to bed at 3 or 4 am every night. The red TV headlines were like tragic lullabies — I’d fall asleep devouring new stats or learning about the outbreak red zones. It was like being trapped in Groundhog Day. Day after day the same tiring-exhausting feeling. But after a few months, I decided those raccoon-like dark circles HAD TO GO. That’s when I decided to tweak a few things.
“I started to do online pilates sessions — 45 minutes daily — and I stopped drinking my beloved espressos after 2 pm. I darkened all our bedroom windows, started drinking decaf valerian or Linden tea at 9 pm, and lowered the heat in my house to 62F when I was getting ready to sleep. I also started taking an OTC natural sleep aid and replaced my pillow covers with silk ones. Now, I sleep seven uninterrupted hours and the nightmares have decreased severely in number. The dark circles are still there but at least I no longer feel like Bill Murray!”
— Ana, 40, quarantined with her husband and two sons in New Jersey
“I’ve been a bad sleeper since childhood, but things got way worse in college. I’m a night owl so I’m often my most creative and productive at night. But when I don’t have a reason to stay up working on anything, I still can’t fall asleep, no matter what I do. Once I’m out, I’m gone — I can sleep in easily until 10 am. (sometimes later), but getting to sleep has always been my issue. Most nights, I watch the clock go from 10 pm when I get into bed to read, to 11pm when my husband falls sound asleep, to 1 am when I’m wondering how the hell I’m still wide awake.
“I’ve tried tons of different things throughout the years to help me fall asleep in a more reasonable timeframe, but as of late, I’ve found a pretty solid routine. I love a good epsom salt bath. I love lavender oil on my palms. Some nights, I’ll try a CBD supplement I give myself a few hours at night to zone-out to bad television — usually Real Housewives or HGTV (I worship Leanne Ford!). Some nights, I use a Bluetooth-connected eye mask which lets me black out the world while I listen to a podcast (anything from Wondery to Parcast), and if that doesn’t help me doze off, I listen to a sleep meditation on my phone.
— Stacie, 30, quarantined with her husband and her dog in Scottsdale, AZ
“My sleep challenges have varied this past year. They’ve ranged from difficulty falling asleep, to trouble staying asleep, to struggling with getting out of bed. A few months ago, though, I tried rearranging the layout of my apartment, to support better sleep. I moved my bed near the window, where it now faces a wall with plants instead of my kitchen (oh, the studio life!) and I must say, I’ve been able to sleep through the night a lot better.
I also love taking night showers so that I feel warm and relaxed before going to bed. Then, once I’m showered, I typically light a candle, have a cup of tea, and try to relax on the couch and watch TV or read a book. I like to occasionally spritz my sheets with a calming lavender scent, moisturize my hands, and finally, turn on some ‘rain pipes’ sleep music which usually does the trick!”
— Jessica, 33, quarantined alone in Brooklyn, NY
Important Safety Information
DAYVIGO may cause serious side effects including:
decreased awareness and alertness. The morning after you take DAYVIGO, your ability to drive safely and think clearly may be decreased. You may also have sleepiness during the day.Do not take more DAYVIGO than prescribed. Do not take DAYVIGO unless you are able to stay in bed for a full night (at least 7 hours) before you must be active again. Take DAYVIGO right before going to bed.
Do not take DAYVIGO if you fall asleep often at unexpected times (narcolepsy).
DAYVIGO is a federally controlled substance because it can be abused or cause dependence.
Before taking DAYVIGO, tell your healthcare provider about all of your medical conditions, including if you:
have a history of depression, mental illness, or suicidal thoughts; drug or alcohol abuse or addiction; a sudden onset of muscle weakness (cataplexy); daytime sleepiness
have lung problems or breathing problems, including sleep apnea
have liver problems
are pregnant or plan to become pregnant
are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed.
Tell your healthcare provider about all of the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins and herbal supplements.
Taking DAYVIGO with certain other medicines can cause serious side effects. DAYVIGO may affect the way other medicines work and other medicines may affect the way DAYVIGO works.
Do not take DAYVIGO with other medicines that can make you sleepy unless your healthcare provider tells you to.
What should I avoid while taking DAYVIGO?
Do not drink alcohol while taking DAYVIGO. It can increase your chances of getting serious side effects.
Do not drive, operate heavy machinery, do anything dangerous, or other activities that require clear thinking if you take DAYVIGO and have had less than a full night of sleep (at least 7 hours) or if you have taken more DAYVIGO than prescribed by your healthcare provider.
You may still feel drowsy the next day after taking DAYVIGO. Do not drive or do other dangerous activities until you feel fully awake.
DAYVIGO may cause serious side effects, including:
temporary inability to move or talk (sleep paralysis) for up to several minutes while you are going to sleep or waking up
temporary weakness in your legs that can happen during the day or at night
complex sleep behaviors such as sleep-walking, sleep-driving, preparing and eating food, making phone calls, having sex or doing other activities while not fully awake that you may not remember the next morning.
worsening depression and suicidal thoughts have happened during treatment with DAYVIGO.
The most common side effect of DAYVIGO is sleepiness.
These are not all of the possible side effects of DAYVIGO. Call your doctor for medical advice and if you have any new or worsening side effects.
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugsto the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call1-800-FDA-1088.
Please read the Medication Guide for DAYVIGO and discuss it with your doctor.
“Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with both insomnia and depression by my primary care doctor. I had no issues falling asleep, but I was having trouble staying asleep. An hour or so after dosing off, I’d consistently find myself wide awake, again. Sometimes it was off and on, and sometimes I wouldn’t go back to sleep at all. Quarantine seemed to exacerbate all of these tendencies, making it harder for me to sleep than ever before. And after trying many over-the-counter sleep solutions, I was still not getting any more rest.
“About four months ago, my doctor prescribed me a sleep medication called DAYVIGOⓇ (lemborexant) CIV, which I was told might help people with insomnia fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. Now, I take 10mg every day and am finding that I fall asleep — and stay asleep — in a way that feels natural. There have been a few nights where I’ve still woken up, even on the medicine, but overall, since taking DAYVIGO, I feel like my sleep has notably improved. Of course, results with any medication will vary, but for me personally, this has been a great option for my condition.”
—Emily*, quarantined in Salisbury, NC with her husband, son, and four dogs
Interviews have been edited for concision and clarity.
*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the respondent
Disclaimer:DAYVIGO is a prescription medicine for adults age 18 years and older who have trouble falling or staying asleep (insomnia). Do not take DAYVIGO if you fall asleep often at unexpected times (narcolepsy). Please see additional Important Safety Information included at the end of this article. Please also see Medication Guide for DAYVIGO.
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Since fall is basically here, we're now in that "Wait, what do I wear?" time of year. While transitional seasons can seem impossible to dress for, the answer is simple: Layering. It's the perfect time to stock your closet with styles you can leave in your closet basically all year round. And the only thing better than a year-round closet staple? One that you got on sale.
Which is why we went through all of Free People's sale section to unearth its hidden style gems. While the boho-chic retailer might not be your first thought for versatile closet pieces, there is plenty to choose from. From jeans you can wear with an itty-bitty top or chunky sweater later to jumpsuits and dresses that look good with or without a cute jacket, you can wear these pieces now when the temps drop, and again in the spring. We even found discounted Puma sneakers. Sit back, click ahead, and enjoy all the time we saved you with our roundup of the best deals from Free People's sale section.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
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Sometime during the pandemic years, the two razor-fine lines running horizontally across my forehead have gone from emotion-activated — popping up only when I raised my eyebrows — to just sitting there, all the time. I first noticed when I started zooming into my face in summer-vacation selfies where my brows were relaxed, but the two pesky forehead lines seemed to almost catch the light.
I thought the admittedly faint indents might be in my head, and not actually dashed across my 26-year-old forehead. (Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with wrinkles, and it’s up to the individual how they do or don’t treat theirs. For me, they’re something I’d rather not have at the moment.) However, at my first facial since 2019, esthetician Georgia Louise immediately noted that my forehead skin was “very, very dry,” which is a strange thing to hear when it’s 80 degrees and humid in New York City, and therefore “especially prone to creasing and cracking.” Those kind of fighting words out of Cate Blanchett’s facialist had me thinking about where I might go after this facial to get some baby Botox.
However, as a seasoned esthetician and not a plastic surgeon, Louise had no vested interest in selling me on the merits of Botox. Instead, she offered me some sound advice on how I might actually delay injections and soften my fine lines with a few careful tweaks to my skin-care routine.
I thought about it and realized that I normally pump, squeeze, or pipette-drip the specific product onto my fingers and then instinctively press into the center of my face, cupping around my nose and cheeks. “See, you want to be pressing your products into your forehead first,” Louise explains. “It’s a large surface area — from your brows to your hairline — and you want to give it lots of attention, and lots of product. Instead of just sweeping what’s left on your hands across your forehead, start there.”
Press And Lift
In terms of finger-to-face motion, Louise is also a big proponent of facial massage, specifically upward and outward lifting. “When you press the products into your skin you want to be lifting up,” she reminds me. “Never take the motion down, only up, and make sure you’re working out as well, not just on the middle of the forehead.”
Dab Some Eye Cream On The 11s
Another helpful tip, one I already knew about but rarely remembered to implement: Use eye cream on your forehead. “People with thin skin under their eyes usually find the same issue with the skin on their forehead,” Louise says. “One little easy thing to do is start using your eye cream to spot treat your 11 lines, or really any forehead wrinkles. It will help add collagen and smooth lines.”
Take A Collagen Supplement
When it comes to hydration, drinking lots water is vital. But Louise says that mixing in a collagen supplement could potentially be helpful. “If I were you, I might try a marine collagen powder,” Louise recommends. “Our skin starts losing collagen in our 20s, and a collagen supplement can be helpful in maintaining skin’s elasticity and preventing rapid collagen loss.”
Try To Relax
Just being aware of forehead lines is enough to cause stress and anxiety, but Louise offers a different perspective. “Now that you know your forehead skin is susceptible to creasing, you can be more aware of how you move your face to make sure you’re not activating your frontalis muscles too much,” she says. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be expressive; just try to be mindful about not holding tension in your forehead when you’re relaxed.”
I know the decision to get forehead Botox is probably in my future, but now I have some hacks to treat my two small lines before they get deeper. Some might say it only delays the inevitable, but with the cost of Botox and my general cynicism around “preventative” injectables, I’ll choose, for now, to pay closer attention to my forehead, give it some extra TLC, and maybe invest in regular facials again.
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Welcome toMoney Diarieswhere we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
Has someone you dated ever been less-than-honest about their finances? Was it a deal breaker? Tell us your experience here to be featured in an upcoming Refinery29 story.
Today: a Ph.D. student who makes $46,140 per year and spends some of their money this week on Nespresso pods.
Occupation: Ph.D. Student Industry: Higher Education Age: 24 Location: New York, NY Salary: $46,140 Net Worth: $128,996 ($44,720 in savings, $482 in checking, $43,646 in a Roth IRA, $35,104 in a brokerage account, $3,856 in my Robinhood account, and $1,187 in Worthy Bonds) Debt: $0 Paycheck Amount (2x month): $1,750 Pronouns: they/them
Monthly Expenses Rent: ~ $1,200 (the rough price for a studio, depending if my partner is living with me) Utilities: $0, included in rent Internet: $0, included in rent Apple Storage: $0.99 Phone: $0, still on family plan Health Insurance: $0, paid for by school
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, always. My parents both have master’s degrees and there was always the expectation that I would get one as well. I attended undergrad for three years and went directly into a fully funded Ph.D. program. My parents sat me down and told me that they had saved enough in a 529 for me to have $15,000 a year for four years. I had to choose whether to go to a more expensive school and go into debt, go to a state school, or try to get merit scholarships. I ended up choosing a lower-status school than I was aiming for, but got $30,000 in merit scholarships per year and graduated debt-free. In addition, I still had $15,000 leftover in my 529 since I graduated early, so I used that for housing my first year of grad school.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My dad was a financial advisor so there was a lot of education very young. I worked around the house for money when I was little and was taught how to save and invest.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ever since I was about 12 or so, if I asked my dad for money for a field trip or whatever he would tell me, “When are you going to get a job and get your own money?” (My answer was “I’m 12.”) I did end up getting an umpire job when I was 12 and got my first official job working in the kitchen of a hospital when I was 14. There was always massive pressure to work in my house from a very young age.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Not particularly. My parents were always fastidious with financial planning. I was always told we couldn’t do some activities because it was too expensive (going to camp, etc.). We lived a pretty minimalistic life, but my parents never struggled to put food on the table.
Do you worry about money now?
Sometimes. I sometimes feel resentful that I’m getting paid so little for five to six years at this point of my life, especially because my earning potential would be $80,000+ if I went private. I worry about getting a professor job that pays enough if I do decide to go into academia. Overall, I live a very simple life, don’t really buy a lot, and feel like I’m in a decent financial position.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I have paid for my own expenses except for the 529 money and my phone since I moved out at 18. My parents would probably help me out if I was ever in a dire position, but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to ask that of them.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
I receive $1,000 every year from my father to put into my Roth IRA.
Day One
6:30 a.m. — Wake up early due to my cat screaming in my face.
7:30 a.m. — Wake up for real. I couldn’t fall asleep last night, but I’ve been meaning to start getting up earlier, so… here goes nothing. I start putting on clothes for today. I go to the bathroom, take my meds, put in my contacts, and slap on some face sunscreen. I don’t wear makeup most days and my head is shaved, so this is the extent of my morning routine. It’s a pretty nice life. I head to the kitchen and make my usual breakfast: a shot of espresso over ice, and oatmeal with banana and peanut butter.
8:40 a.m. — Morning walk time. I started doing this during the lockdown and it’s been a part of my routine ever since. I usually walk a one-mile loop three times per day. Three to five times a week, I substitute one of the walks for a gym session instead, but the gym is closed this week so it will just be walking for me this week.
9 a.m. — Time to start work. My students for the summer course I’ve been teaching turned in their final assignments last night, so I’m going to be spending my day grading those papers.
10 a.m. — My friend has a presentation for an academic workshop today, so I jump on Zoom to support him.
12 p.m. — More iced espresso, then I walk to my department to do some more work. I bring my lunch to eat there — a salad that I meal-prepped last night that includes greens, snap peas, tomatoes, peaches, goat cheese, chicken thighs, and balsamic dressing. My partner, F., recently left town to start a new Ph.D. program, and I’ve been trying to keep myself out of the house so I’m not alone all day. No one else is in the department, so I settle in to eat lunch and do work on my own.
3 p.m. — I start heading home to meet my boyfriend who’s coming over. I’ve been polyamorous since I was 18 and currently have two serious partners: F. (who I live with) and K. (who I’ve been dating for two and a half years), and one casual partner (Q.). K. and I spend the afternoon planning an upcoming camping trip and going on a walk. I also snack on an old piece of brioche smeared with peanut butter and jelly. I’m on a mission to prevent food waste, so most of the time I will just eat odds and ends from around the house.
6 p.m. — Dinner is stuffed peppers (green peppers, ground chicken, onion, black beans, corn), enough for tonight and for two future meals. We watch a documentary on HBO about the Diamond Princess cruise ship and it is actually really good! It’s weird that movies about COVID-19 are starting to happen now. We hang around for the rest of the night since K. has some work to do. We end up splitting a green apple drizzled with dark chocolate.
9 p.m. — We start getting ready for bed because K. has to wake up early tomorrow. Asleep by 10.
Daily Total: $0
Day Two
7 a.m. — Same morning routine. It’s supposed to be hot out today, so I just throw on some jean shorts and a black T-shirt. Meds, eat (oatmeal with a peach this morning), and walk.
9 a.m. — Start gearing up to work. I’ve been in a frustrating holding pattern waiting for some research applications to go through. While I’m waiting, I’ve just been filling my time with grading and reading for my dissertation.
12 p.m. — I take another shot of iced espresso and make lunch consisting of a quesadilla (whole wheat tortilla, shredded cheese, leftover chicken thigh) and a handful of snap peas. I take my afternoon walk, but it feels like a hundred degrees out. I’m so ready for fall.
1 p.m. — I head to the library to get some more work done. I run into a couple of friends and we hang out for a few minutes. Small social interactions like this are what sustain me while I’m living alone.
3 p.m. — I’m done with work for the day because I’m not being very productive. I walk home and take a shower. I eat a banana and spend some time on Pinterest. I usually spend more time working during the week, usually 40+ hours, but this is just a particularly unproductive week in between classes and during summer.
5 p.m. — Dinner is a leftover stuffed pepper. I watch Buzzfeed Unsolved as I eat.
6 p.m. — I head over to my other partner, Q.’s, apartment. I swipe into the subway for about a 15-minute train ride ($2.75). I’m extremely blessed that Q. lives so close — I didn’t realize how true it was that inter-borough relationships are “long distance” until a few years ago. Now I’m spoiled by having someone who lives in Manhattan with me because not many people our age do. $2.75
6:30 p.m. — When I get to Q.’s, we watch a couple of episodes of Dr. Death. I haven’t seen Q. in a while because preparing for F.’s move was hectic last week, so we spend time catching up. I have a sudden craving for those really crappy chocolate hazelnut wafer things, so he runs out to get some for me.
11 p.m. — I head to bed while Q. stays up for a bit longer.
Daily Total: $2.75
Day Three
7 a.m. — I get up and start packing to go back home. I never eat at Q.’s house in the morning because he never has breakfast food. My other partners find the fact that he doesn’t feed me in the morning to be an outrage, but honestly, I’m fine just doing my morning routine at home. I do half of my morning routine while I’m there (meds, brush my teeth, sunscreen), which takes all of five minutes. I spend the rest of my time cuddling Q., who is trying his best to sleep.
7:30 a.m. — Time to take the train back to my apartment ($2.75). I try to stop at the farmer’s market once I get off the subway but the stands are still setting up. I decide I’ll swing by later instead. $2.75
8 a.m. — I make a breakfast of iced espresso and oatmeal with peanut butter and peaches. I try to balance scrolling through Twitter and Instagram, eating my breakfast, and dealing with my cat trying to sit on me since she hasn’t seen me since last night.
9 a.m. — Work today is not very interesting. More grading and reading while I continue to wait for my application approval to go through.
12 p.m. — I heat up the last stuffed pepper and scarf it down for lunch while on Twitter.
12:30 p.m. — The farmer’s market is up and going by now, so I walk over and pick up five apples ($3.90). They’re the same price as at the grocery store, so I usually buy local when I have cash. It’s still wicked hot out, so I cut my walk short and go directly to the department. I see some friends again and talk to them before settling down to do my own work. $3.90
3 p.m. — I head back to my apartment. I want some downtime because I have to attend some academic things tonight and I don’t want to be exhausted. I’m also starving, so I eat a banana sliced into some yogurt. I also make myself a cup of black tea because I desperately need an energy boost.
3:45 p.m. — I go through my fridge and realize all of my produce is going bad too quickly. I make the snap decision that I’ll meal prep all of my food tonight, so none of the food goes to waste. I’ll be making two sets of meals tonight: a Mexican bowl and sausage and veggies. There are only a few minutes before my next event, but I quickly chop up some (very sad looking) broccoli, kielbasa, and zucchini and throw it into the oven. I also dump two cups of brown rice into my Instant Pot, which should be enough for four meals.
4 p.m. — The university holds an update on COVID-19 every month and I usually attend these sessions. They’ve already declared that vaccines will be mandatory for everyone in the fall semester, but now there is controversy over whether masks will be mandatory, too.
4:45 p.m. — HOLY CRAP MY RESEARCH APPLICATION GOT APPROVED!!!! I do a quick bit of work related to the application, but I’ll do the rest tomorrow when I’m not so tired.
5:15 p.m. — Dinner is hastily thrown-together ground chicken from earlier this week, a leftover tomato, an avocado, black beans, corn, and some of the brown rice for a Mexican bowl. While I eat, my friend/colleague and I jump on a Zoom meeting. We’re trying to launch this other project soon and I’m teaching him the process. After we finish, I go on my evening walk.
7:30 p.m. — Next up is a Zoom talk that I’m attending by one of my favorite academics.
8:30 p.m. — F. calls, so I spend some time hearing about their first few days on their new campus. It’s so weird not to have them here and I miss them lots.
9:30 p.m. — I hop in the shower and start getting ready for bed. I’m asleep by 10.
Daily Total: $6.65
Day Four
7:30 a.m. — Start my morning routine the same as always, but instead of doing my walk this morning, I go to drop off my compost instead. There’s a compost drop-off at a community garden about three-quarters of a mile from us, so I walk there and back. We started composting a few months ago and I’m in love with it. I’ve turned into a serious zero-waste nut.
8:45 a.m. — It’s project-launching time! This survey will cost around $700, but it’s coming out of money that I won for a grant and is considered “reimbursable.” I quickly remember how anticlimactic this always is. The project launches and I sit around waiting for feedback ($700 expensed).
11:15 a.m. — Therapy time. I’ve been doing therapy since I was 15 or so and it’s been really helpful for dealing with stressful situations across my life. I Venmo my therapist her co-pay after our session. $20
12 p.m. — Lunch is half a quesadilla stuffed with the Mexican bowl mix (corn, beans, green peppers, ground chicken) and half an avocado. Instead of my usual after-lunch walk, I walk over to my colleague’s apartment to pick up his keys. I’ll be cat-sitting for him next week. I also pick up a book I have reserved from the library on the way back.
1 p.m. — I quickly shower off, then change into different clothes for my date tonight with a new-ish person, C. After I get ready, I go back to work for a few hours. I didn’t get that much done today, but I’ll be working over the weekend to make up for it. I eat yogurt with half a banana as a snack.
3:15 p.m. — Head to the bus for my date with C. $2.75
4 p.m. — C. meets me at the bus stop and we walk over to a bowling place. We play two rounds and I win one, lose one. C. pays.
5:30 p.m. — We walk to get food at a bar that C.’s friend owns. We both get a burger and fries. I told myself I wasn’t going to eat red meat anymore, but one burger a month isn’t too bad… right? C. pays. I should note that C. is insisting on paying for everything because he recently wronged me by showing up late for something important. Normally I prefer to split my dates 50/50.
6:30 p.m. — We head to C.’s apartment. It’s my first time coming over to his place. We walk in the door and it is… messy. Like, the kind of mess that a man in his 30s with a stable professional career should not have. I don’t like this. At all. He was kind of making up for the incident, but this is just another red flag. I hang out for an hour-and-a-half, then C. calls me a car back to my apartment.
8:40 p.m. — I get home and check-in immediately on my two babies, a.k.a. my cat and my research. Both are doing well. I hang out on Twitter and Instagram and eat half an apple.
6:45 a.m. — Happy weekend! I wake up to the feeling of my cat standing on my chest. I complete my morning routine of meds, sunscreen, and contacts. I have an apple, oatmeal, and espresso as always. My morning walk is rainy.
8:30 a.m. — Back to work. The good thing about Ph.D. programs is that because you get to choose your own schedule, there’s freedom to work anytime you’d like. I often put in some hours on the weekend if I don’t get much done during the week. The downside is that it’s taken me a long time to put boundaries in place.
12 p.m. — I heat up some veggies, kielbasa, and brown rice then I go on my after-lunch walk.
1 p.m. — Head back to work. I FINALLY finish grading essays. Thank god. Now I’m officially off from teaching responsibilities for about three weeks. I take another shot of iced espresso since I’m hanging out with a friend tonight and need the energy.
3:15 p.m. — I FaceTime F. while getting ready to go out. It seems like things are getting a little better for them in their new city. I also eat yogurt with an apple to hold me over until dinner.
4 p.m. — I leave to meet up with my friend to go thrift shopping downtown. We take the train down ($2.75) and head to Buffalo Exchange. I find two sweater-blazer-type things for fall ($41). I recently lost some weight and none of my clothes fit me anymore, so I have to buy some things that I can teach in for the fall. On the train back, the A/C is broken and the entire train car looks ready to pass out ($2.75). $46.50
7 p.m. — Dinner is half a quesadilla with the leftover Mexican bowl mix (black beans, corn, ground chicken, green pepper) and a mix of carrots and snap peas.
8 p.m. — I spend the rest of the night hanging out, reading, and FaceTiming F. I’ve been an anxious mess today so I do my best to wind down. I’m asleep by 10.
Daily Total: $46.50
Day Six
7:15 a.m. — I wake up and finish my morning routine quickly. The oatmeal fruit of the day is half of a green apple. I walk through the farmer’s market on my morning walk and everything looks so good.
8:45 a.m. — I spend most of the morning checking my project occasionally and browsing through Pinterest. Sundays are usually a very chill day for me and I do my best to try to take one full day off per week (I guess checking my project technically doesn’t count as “not working” but I’m doing my best).
12 p.m. — My parents are staying in New York overnight, so I walk to meet them for lunch at a restaurant a couple of blocks away from me. I get brioche French toast and it’s fantastic. My dad pays. After lunch, my parents come back to my apartment for a little bit to hang out.
2:45 p.m. — After my parents are gone, I go back to monitoring my survey and hanging out on Pinterest. I make the bold decision to try to make peanut butter since I’m out and don’t want to have to go to the store before breakfast tomorrow. I’ve tried before and it didn’t go so well. This time, I add about three-quarters of a cup of salted peanuts and a dash of canola oil and…VICTORY!! I’m actually proud of myself! It only makes about a quarter cup of peanut butter, but it will keep me held over until I go grocery shopping tomorrow.
6 p.m. — I head over to my colleague’s house to feed his cat. The cat is extremely happy to see me.
6:45 p.m. — I’m not hungry yet, so I go to the grocery store instead of putting it off until tomorrow. I get shredded Mexican cheese, shredded mozzarella, dark chocolate, tilapia, four yogurts, sour cream, peanut butter (so much for making more), carrots, salad greens, baking soda, bananas, a green pepper, a zucchini, a potato, broccoli, and cinnamon. My club card is great and knocks a quarter off the price. The cashier is rushing me so quickly that I forget to show my student ID to get another 10% off. Dammit!!! I have chicken legs in the freezer and staples like brown rice and tortillas, so all of this together should last me until next Sunday. $37.02
7:30 p.m. — I’m finally hungry, so I heat up the rest of the veggies and kielbasa. I throw a hunk of goat cheese on top, because why not. I end up still being hungry after dinner, so I eat half an apple with some dark chocolate melted on top. I watch random videos from Vox on YouTube while I eat.
9 p.m. — I’ve been having a hard time falling asleep lately, so I start getting ready for bed by begrudgingly turning off my computer and reading instead. Bleh, sleep hygiene or whatever. I take a cold shower then climb into bed.
Daily Total: $37.02
Day Seven
5:45 a.m. — I can’t sleep and I’ve hit close to my eight hours anyway, so I get up and put on some exercise clothes that I set out the night before. I take a shot of iced espresso and eat half a banana.
6 a.m. — I leave to go feed my colleague’s cat. On the way back, I stop at the gym. I do some running and an arm workout. I’m so glad the gym is back after being closed last week because it’s been torturous walking outside in the heat.
7:15 a.m. — I walk home and take a cold shower. I do my morning routine of meds and sunscreen. Breakfast is my oatmeal with extra homemade peanut butter and a whole peach to compensate for my workout. My project is still running, so I check on it while I eat.
9 a.m. — I get started on coding work for the day. Classes start soon again in the fall, so I have a planning meeting with some colleagues to plan an orientation.
11:30 a.m. — Lunch is half a quesadilla with a Mexican bowl filling.
12 p.m. — I head to the department because I can’t stand to be in my apartment alone anymore. I’m getting terrible project results and am currently in a terrible circular pattern of thinking that I’ll never graduate, never get a job, etc. I see my friend in the department and she gives me the very long hug that I need. My friend stops by the department with cookies, so I snack on one while I continue working.
2:30 p.m. — My day has now consisted of extremely tedious coding work for several hours in a row, so I take a walk around campus before I start losing it. It does not work. I feel extremely burnt out, so I start packing up to head home for the day. I walk home and try to rest my eyes by reading an old issue of TheNew Yorker instead.
5 p.m. — I get hungry earlier than usual, so I make garlic tilapia, roasted broccoli, and brown rice.
6 p.m. — I’m still feeling a bit down, but when I leave to feed my colleague’s cat, I see my friend and her husband on the street and we make plans for Wednesday. On the walk back from feeding the cat, I call my sister and we talk for a while about her college plans. When I get home, I end up calling K. for half an hour. Talking to so many people makes my night a lot better. I also remember that I’m about to run out of Nespresso pods, so I order enough to last me a month. $42
9 p.m. — I’m feeling exhausted, so I put away my computer and read in bed for a bit. I end up FaceTiming F. for a bit before I fall asleep.
Daily Total: $42
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