Today is the Transgender Day Of Remembrance (TDOR), a time meant to memorialize all transgender and gender non-conforming people who have been murdered in acts of anti-trans violence.
In 2020, at least 37 transgender and gender non-conforming people in the U.S. were violently killed, reports the Human Rights Campaign. Most of the victims were Black or Latinx. Globally, 350 people were killed, according to Transrespect Versus Transphobia Worldwide. And the actual figures may be higher, since these killings often go unreported or get misreported.
Anti-transgender bias is fatal. But that doesn’t mean transgender people have to live in fear or in silence. As Danielle Ehsanipour, the director of the Lifeline at The Trevor Project, who uses they/them pronouns, says, “I try to remind myself and my community that at times when systems, structures, and cisgender people hurt trans people or hold us back, I can be an antidote. We can take care of one another, love one another, validate one another at times when the rest of the world can't,” they say.
On TDOR, we all remember the people who lost their lives too soon. Allies may also dedicate time to advocating for the transgender community, whether by amplifying LGBTQ voices on social media or donating to a worthy cause. Many trans and non-binary people also spend the day connecting with their community and participating in self-care. Swipe through to learn how eight trans and non-binary people are choosing to commemorate this important day, and what advice they wish they'd heard as a young person. How I'm Observing TDOR
"I check in with my trans friends first. How are we doing? How are we holding up? My friends and I like to gather together. Maybe this year will be standing in the snow with masks on or sharing our pain, laughter, and resilience over Zoom."
What I Want Young Trans & Non-Binary People To Know
"You deserve to advocate for your name and pronouns, but it is also valid if you don't have the energy, resources, or can't be out. You are still valid. Journaling can be a safe space to remind yourself that you matter and to dream."
— Jona, who goes by they/them pronouns, a supervisor at The Trevor Project How I'm Observing TDOR
"I’m part of the Intuit Pride Network, which is holding a virtual candlelight vigil hosted by the Trans Advisory Board. We will be honoring the transgender individuals who have lost their lives in the United States this year due to anti-transgender violence by reading their names aloud, and will also honor the over 300 people worldwide with a moment of silence. Personally, given the pandemic, I will spend a quiet evening at home. I am lucky to have a loving and supportive family that I can lean on during difficult times."
What I Want Young Trans & Non-Binary People To Know
"Find something each day that brings you joy and do that thing (TikTok, Tumblr, cat videos, whatever puts a smile on your face). Don’t give up. Know that you matter, that you belong in this world, and that there is room for all of us. Get through this part, and the world will open up to you. You will find your community and you will find those who will love you unconditionally."
— Tanner (he/him), a customer experience leader at Intuit How I'm Observing TDOR
"I commemorate 2020 Trans Day Of Remembrance by focusing on trans folks who are still here, celebrating the progress we have made and the long way we still need to go in order to protect our trans siblings from violence and discrimination. I will attend a small group for trans folks only discussing trauma and healing. I will watch the movie Tangerine, which is my favorite trans movie."
What I Want Young Trans & Non-Binary People To Know
"Trans people have always survived because we are survivors and we are resilient. There are always people to talk to and community to support you. You just need to reach out."
— Albus (they/them), a tarot reader How I'm Observing TDOR
"I commemorate Trans Day of Remembrance through education and spreading awareness. Some of the biggest obstacles Transgender people face are rooted in the lack of knowledge within the greater community."
What I Want Young Trans & Non-Binary People To Know
"Respect your wants and needs. I've recently learned to listen to my thoughts, feelings, and body, understand what they're telling me, and respect those needs. You deserve respect from everyone, including yourself."
— Charli (he/him/his); a volunteer recruiter at The Trevor Project How I'm Observing TDOR
"I have been participating in TDOR memorials and commemorations since it was conceived in the early 2000s. This includes walking in vigils, attending and speaking at events, and also sometimes just taking private time to remember and think of the trans and nonbinary people, as well as the others I have lost in my life."
What I Want Young Trans & Non-Binary People To Know
"For me it has been important to remain connected to a community of healthy and amazing LGBTQ people that I can reach out to — people that I want to listen to and also want to listen to me."
— Carrie (she/her), the chief community officer at The Trevor Project How I'm Observing TDOR
This year I will be posting on social media and likely attending the LGBT Center of Central PA’s annual TDOR Healing Space, which, due to the pandemic will be virtual this year. With 2020 seeing an significant increase of violence against the transgender community and being the deadliest year for transgender people, especially trans women of color, it is more necessary than ever to honor their lives and bring light to hate and violence directed at our community. We must find community for ourselves.
— Jessi (she/her/hers), a poet and activist How I'm Observing TDOR
"I have identified as trans-male for the last 7 years of my life and hopefully the next 100 years! This year, because of the COVID-19 situation, a group of pro-LGBT friends (three more of which are trans) and I are having a group movie night over Zoom with the main focus on Transgender-aligned films. We didn’t let a corrupt worldly mindset stop us from being who we deserve to be, so we are certainly not going to let an illness prevent from us celebrating what we have sacrificed and how far we have come."
What I Want Young Trans & Non-Binary People To Know
"There is support for you. One [resource] in particular — The GALAP — will write you a letter of support without gatekeeping you. I had wished there was something like this for me when I was a bit younger." [Editor's note: The GALAP currentlyencourages its supportersto work only with adults. More resources can be found at theNational Center For Transgender Equality.]
— Andrew (he/him), an entrepreneur How I'm Observing TDOR
"I typically focus on two aspects: community and self-care. With the community aspect, I try to gather with other Transfolks and hold space for a moment together to recognize who is with us and who no longer is. It is important for transfolks to share community, especially when it comes to holding vigil for our own people. Then personally, I always try to do something I enjoy, like take a long bath, try making a new recipe, or go on a long walk."
What I Want Young Trans & Non-Binary People To Know
"It isn't any one person's job to educate others. As a transperson, it can feel like it is my responsibility to teach all people what it means to be trans, to correct every person on my pronouns, and to be responsible for facilitating an environment of understanding. Sometimes, it is okay to let it go and let someone else do that work, so you can focus on keeping yourself happy and healthy."
— Keygan (they/them), a senior advocacy associate at The Trevor Project How I'm Observing TDOR
"I am celebrating TDOR by being my true, authentic self. Today, as every day, I will strive to make a positive impact in the world, so that everyone can be known for Who they are, not What they are."
What I Want Young Trans & Non-Binary People To Know
"To all the young people out there, know that you are perfect just the way you are. We all are."
I feel that Sainsbury’s have always been slightly ahead of the game when it comes to supermarket beauty shopping, stocking great and affordable brands such Super Facialist, Burt’s Bees and Nip + Fab, but now they have completely raised the bar again with their brand new beauty aisles.
Nearly two hundred superstores have the new beauty offering, with fourteen hundred new products launched and the brands list reads more like something you’d find at a dedicated beauty retailer than a supermarket; soothing face creams from Weleda, high-powered body-smoothers from Ameliorate, sumptuous balm cleansers and serums from Balance Me…
To celebrate the amazing new beauty aisles I’ve created three useful skincare routines using some of my favourites from the brands and products that you can pick up right now in-(super)store. Many stores also have trained beauty advisors to help guide and advise you and you can also find brands (such as Sanctuary Spa, My Skin Matters and Boutique) that are exclusive to Sainsbury’s.
Dull Skin Routine
My first little routine is for dull skin which is a common complaint going into winter. Once we lose the fresh, sunkissed bounce of a summer spent outdoors and the central heating kicks in, skin can tend to look a little lacklustre. So here are three products to get back some glow and all of them can be seamlessly slipped into your existing routines. I suppose they could be seen as separate tweaks more than a solid three-step routine, because I probably wouldn’t use them all together…
The Super Facialist Vit C+ Brighten Skin Renew Cleansing Oil (£11 here) is the perfect cleanser to introduce as the weather gets colder. Don’t be put off if your skin is on the oilier side; this rinses completely clean and does a really thorough job of breaking down makeup, sunscreen and the day’s dirt. It also smells so optimistically orangey (like the “Satsuma” scent of our youth, children of the eighties!) that it’s hard to find fault with it.
We then split into day and night routines; personally I would use the Super Facialist Vitamin C Booster (£18 here) in the morning, before or blended into moisturiser and sunscreen, but there’s nothing to stop you using it day and night. Vitamin C is great for brightening and helping with a more even skintone and also gives antioxidant protection; I’ve simply become used to it as a morning step, whereas…
…my acid peels, the AHAs, tend to go on at bedtime. Again, nothing to stop you using them in the morning (you MUST remember to use a sunscreen) but I like to use them overnight and wake up to the glow! The Nip + Fab Glycolic Fix Liquid Glow contains 2% glycolic for a quick but not-too-shocking dose of exfoliation. It eats away at the dead skin cells, to put it in unglamorous terms, revealing brighter, newer skin. Personally I wouldn’t use daily, more two or three times a week, but it depends on your own skin and how it reacts to exfoliation. You can find the Glycolic Fix online here, it’s £17.
Dry Skin Routine
You might be thinking that dull skin and dry skin would go hand in hand, but I think that they can be quite different beasts. This routine is for really dry skin, the sort that just feels tight and uncomfortable and never quite feels sated.
The Super Facialist Rose Hydrate Calming Creamy Cleanser (£8 here) has been a favourite of mine for years. It feels luxurious, you can get a good old massage going with it and it’s only eight quid for a large tube. It smells beautiful and is gentle but effective and won’t leave your skin feeling tighter than when you started!
A new discovery now: Sanctuary Spa’s Hyaluronic Wonder Oil Serum (£20 here), a bi-phase product that has all the quenching properties of a hyaluronic serum but with the comfort and nourishment of an oil. If you’re so dry that a “lightweight” serum feels tight and uncomfortable then you’ll love this – ditto if you’ve wanted to dip a proverbial toe into the world of face oils but have been worried you’ll find them too greasy. It’s the perfect hybrid.
And all sealed in with what could be the world’s richest moisturiser, Weleda’s Skin Food (£10 here). This dry skin miracle is a tenner for a huge 75ml tube and is one of the richest, slide-iest face creams you’ll find. Especially at this price and with such lovely ingredients. I hate to bring the word “grease” into proceedings because it has such negative connotations, but Skin Food does leave a somewhat greasy residue. But it’s a beautiful grease – a sheen, a slick shine – that smells wonderful and will be music to the ears of those who simply can’t find a cream that’s moisturising enough for them. (For anyone who doesn’t have very dry skin, you’ll no doubt find this moisturiser too much. Word of warning!)
Mind-Transporting Routine
My last little skincare routine is one for the people who need some time-out, a few minutes’ peace, and who like products that smell sublime and transport them to other places. It’s a true mini-spa at-home and it’s perfect for the stressed and the weary. (All of us, then.)
I’ve started this one with Balance Me’s Cleanse and Smooth Face Balm (£20 here). Good cleansers were always the things I found lacking when supermarket beauty shopping and I’m so pleased that Sainsbury’s have such a good array but particularly that they have a balm cleanser. Balms, especially when they smell like this one, just add something extra-special to a skincare routine; you have to massage the product in properly to get it to melt down and I think that the extra effort, that massaging-in time, is invaluable when you’re trying to take some time for yourself.
The middle step here is a facial oil and there were loads to choose from but I plumped for Weleda’s Almond Soothing Facial Oil (£13.50 here) because it’s simple, calming and will suit all skin types. If you were into your aromatherapy then this makes a brilliant carrier oil and you could tweak it to suit particular concerns or needs, but as it is, unadulterated, it’s a nourishing, unfragranced treat and a great skincare staple if you’re dry or sensitive.
All of this is sealed in with a lovely dose of Urban Veda’s Sandalwood + Botanics Soothing Clarifying Night Cream (£20 here). Urban Veda formulate to Ayurvedic principles, so if it’s holistic beauty you’re after then you’ll be delighted that you can now find it at Sainsbury’s superstores! It was the sandalwood that drew me to this particular night cream, I just find the scent so grounding, but I can assure you that the cream has been really sensitively put-together; the scent is gentle and not at all overpowering. Just enough to make you stop and take a moment to regather and relax.
So I hope that you’ve enjoyed my little tour of the new beauty aisles, via three skincare routines; I’m so impressed with Sainsbury’s new skincare offerings and can’t wait to see how it keeps on evolving. They have an in-house team called Future Brands who identify rising talent in the beauty industry and help to bring them to shoppers at an affordable price-point and so I’m really interested to see what comes up!
It’s so lovely to see that beauty is being properly considered and presented – that you can now make informed choices from a great selection, rather than it being a bit of an afterthought – just some basics that you chuck in the trolley. I do think that it will change how people shop for their beauty – can you see yourself buying more of your beauty along with the rest of your shopping, if the choice is there?
Jaiden Blancaflor was a sophomore in high school when they called The Trevor Project’s helpline. Blancaflor, a 17-year-old who identifies as transgender and goes by he/they pronouns, was feeling overwhelmed and experiencing a severe episode of gender dysphoria, a term that refers to the emotional distress that can occur when the gender you’re assigned at birth doesn’t align with the gender you know yourself to be. After calling the helpline, they were quickly connected to an operator who understood how to help and patiently talked Blancaflor through their feelings.
“Before the call, I didn’t like how I was living my life; I wanted more interaction with the LGBTQ+ community,” Blancaflor says. “I felt alone, like all my friends were cis, straight people. After we talked, I felt more understood — more valid, and it felt like what I was going through was more legitimate.” After Blancaflor hung up, they sat down and made a list of ways they could get more involved with the LGBTQ+ organizations at their school. “I started writing down things to look forward to and ways I could relieve some of the stress I was feeling about schoolwork,” Blancaflor says. “I decided I should start planning Pride Week with my school’s GSA [Gender and Sexuality Alliance].” The support Blancaflor received ultimately made them feel understood, and led to becoming more connected with the LGBTQ+ community.
Mental health support can make a huge difference for transgender people like Blancaflor. Studies have found that trans people who experience gender incongruence (another term for dysphoria) are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and suicidality. But for trans people who seek mental health care, finding a gender-affirming medical professional who is qualified to address the discrimination and erasure they face every day is crucial — and not always easy.
Understanding trans patients means understanding that being trans, in and of itself, is not a mental health condition, says Genny Beemyn, PhD, the director of the Stonewall Center at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, who uses they/them/their pronouns. The current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, includes gender dysphoria, a classification that many advocates say casts unnecessary shame and assumptions on trans folks. In 2018, The World Health Organization stopped classifying gender incongruence as a mental health condition in order to “depathologize transgender identities.”
Instead, Dr. Beemyn says that the mental health struggles of trans people largely stem from their stigmatization in society and not because of their gender identity. “Any higher prevalence of mental health issues comes about because of the way society treats them,” Dr. Beemyn says.
Living in a world that erases, discriminates against, and even kills trans people for simply existing can lead to depression and mood disorders. Trans people of color may be even more likely to experience depressive symptoms, brought on by exposure to both racist and transphobic discrimination, found a study in the journal Ethnicity and Inequalities in Health and Social Care. At least 34 trans people have been murdered this year, though that number may be higher, given that many people are misgendered by police, healthcare professionals, and even coroners and family members, says a.t. furuya, the youth programs manager at GLSEN, an education organization that aims to make schools more inclusive, who uses they/them pronouns. In 2017, 16 states considered “bathroom bills” that would require public restrooms to be separated by sex assigned at birth. The Trump Administration banned transgender service members from the military and proposed a reinterpretation of Title IX — which prohibits sex discrimination in federally funded schools — that was discriminatory toward trans students. President-Elect Joe Biden was the first person in the office to thank the transgender community in a victory address, which is a step in the right direction, but there’s still a long way to go.
Research shows that gender-affirming support, however, can be hugely protective as we work toward creating a more inclusive world for trans folks. While experiences of prejudice and fear of anti-trans stigma are associated with a higher risk of depression and suicide, those who reported having greater social support had a lower risk of these outcomes, a survey study in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found. Other research showed that transgender kids who were allowed to present their gender identity and change their names had good mental health outcomes, reports the journal Pediatrics. Therapists, helplines, and resources that help trans people change their names, find transition-related healthcare, or even connect with safe and gender-affirming hairstylists can all be invaluable tools that promote mental wellbeing.
But transgender folks face unique barriers to accessing mental health care. They can face issues with insurance, or have no insurance. What’s more, one in three transgender and nonbinary youths said they didn’t receive or seek out mental health care because they felt a provider wouldn’t understand their sexual orientation or gender identity, according to research from The Trevor Project published earlier this year. This isn’t a baseless fear. Multiple people Refinery29 spoke to for this story said they’d previously seen a therapist who tried to convince them that they were not actually trans or discouraged them from being their true selves. And trans people who delay seeking healthcare because of fear of being discriminated against had worse general health and mental health outcomes, a study in the journal Transgender Health found.
One root of the problem may be that many medical schools don’t adequately prepare future doctors for treating LGBTQ+ patients. In 2019, NPR reported that many medical school lectures about LGBTQ+ health issues were electives, and some were even taught by students themselves.
So, trans-inclusive and trans-competent mental health resources are essential, explains IV Staklo, who uses he/him and they/them pronouns and is the hotline program director at Trans Lifeline, which connects trans people to trans counselors when they’re in crisis or need a place to talk. “[LGBTQ+-specific organizations] have the education around the LGBT community and know how specifically to help,” notes Blancaflor. “If you’ve been called a certain word at school, a regular hotline might not know the severity or history behind the word. But these hotlines can better understand the experience.”
Trans people also cited other fears as preventing them from seeking help, including comparing their problems to others’. A 2020 Trevor Project survey asked trans youth why they didn’t receive mental health services they desired. “There were a lot of students who said, ‘I feel like there’s a lot of people who have it worse,’” explains Amy Green, PhD, the vice president of research at The Trevor Project. “Despite high levels of depression and anxiety… A lot of youth are pulling back and saying, ‘I really would like mental health care, but maybe I’m not quite deserving of it.’” Blancaflor agrees that this is a common phenomenon. “I know a lot of LGBT students who’ve felt like, ’My issue is not that severe compared to other people’s issues,” they say. “When really it’s a lack of understanding about impact and severity.”
Blancaflor describes growing up with loving, supportive parents who largely accepted their transition when they began coming out in middle school. But if they had fallen into the mindset Green describes — I can push through alone, because someone else probably has it worse — they wouldn’t have called the Trevor hotline a few years ago, and may not have gotten the help they needed.
This is why connecting to other trans community members is often a key aspect of mental health care. We live in a society that’s transphobic, and if you don’t know other trans people, it can be easy to feel alone, explains Staklo. “Before I had trans friends, I saw a mental health professional who regularly tried to convince me I’m not trans,” Staklo says. “She would regularly misgender me… I thought that was normal. If I had a bunch of trans friends at that time, they would have told me to get out of there.”
Any organization that helps you find community can make a difference. For Blancaflor, that ultimately meant more connection with the LGBTQ+ student group GLSEN and the Gender and Sexuality Alliance at their school. They also started reaching out to people who are trans via social media. “My biggest recommendation is: If your parents are monitoring your social media, make an alt account and follow LGBT accounts and hashtags so you can get to know the community,” they say. Of course, use safe practices on social to protect yourself and others. As Staklo says, community makes a difference, and mental health organizations are seeking to make those connections. Staklo says some of their favorite calls they get at the Trans Lifeline hotline are from people who are dialing back to say they made a bunch of trans friends.
As Blancaflor says: “Having those resources is just life changing. There’s a difference between having a community versus knowing a community exists.”
Where To Find Trans-Centered Mental Health Resources:
TrevorLifeline
Call 866-488-7386 to reach a trained counselors, 24/7. The resource, created by The Trevor Project, is intended for anyone who is “a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgment-free place to talk.”
TrevorText
Another Trevor Project resource, this confidential and secure service provides live help for LGBTQ youth with a trained specialist over text messages.
Trans Lifeline Hotline
Call 877-565- 8860. This peer line, created by the Trans Lifeline, connects trans people to other trans people. You can call when in crisis or when you need a place to talk. The hotline has a strict policy against non-consensual active rescue. That means if you’re considering suicide, they won’t call police or emergency services on you unless you want them to. Bri Barnett, the director of development and communications at Trans Lifeline, says this is because police can often be more than a threat to trans people than an ally.
Microgrants
This organization, also a Trans Lifeline resource, provides trans and nonbinary folks with funding to cover the cost of updating and correcting names or gender markers on identifying legal documents.
RAD Remedy
This website’s mission is to connect trans, gender non-conforming, and nonbinary folks to safe, accurate, and respectful health care. You can use it to find everything, from gender affirming therapists to hormone treatments near you.
National Center For Transgener Equality
This organization has an incredibly thorough list of resources for trans folks looking for mental health care, including support hotlines, insurance help, legal resources, incarceration resources, immigration resources, employment, veteran, and employment services.
Your local LGBTQ+ Center
Of all the experts we spoke to, everyone said that the best way to connect with a community and affirming doctors, therapists, and mental health professionals was to go through your local LGBTQ+ center, and get recommendations from them. Not sure where to start? Google “LGBTQ+ center” with the name of your town. If that doesn’t pull up results, try the name of the city closest to you.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
We’re mere months away from cleansing Capitol Hill of all signs of the Trump family, but of course, any celebration is too premature given that there’s always the possibility of a future Trump run. It’s not just Donald Trump who may someday weasel his way back into politics, though — it’s the other members of the family as well. While rumors of Don Jr., Eric, Ivanka, and even Jared trying to cement their spots in the government are aplenty, a new (and surprisingly horrifying) name has been thrown into the mix: Lara.
Now, the outgoing president’s daughter-in-law, Lara Trump — who’s married to his lesser-loved son, Eric — has her sight set on running for office. According to the New York Times, Lara Trump is eyeing a 2022 Senate run in her home state of North Carolina, which President Trump is projected to have won in the 2020 presidential election. Since senior Republican Senator Richard Burr will be retiring soon, Lara would be making a play for his seat. Yikes!
She’s also proven her loyalty to Donald Trump again and again by showing a willingness to repeat his lies. During this campaign cycle, she’s repeated baseless claims of voter fraud, has smeared Biden for “cognitive decline,” and even mocked his stutter.
And yet, despite her apparent lack of political experience prior to this administration, she seems to resonate with right-wing voters the same way Trump does. When speaking to the New York Times about her potential North Carolina run, Kellyanne Conway called her a “formidable” candidate, saying, “She connects with people and is a compelling messenger” — so Republican party support for Lara Trump as a candidate may not be a long shot.
But perhaps it’s worth rehashing some of her less-than-flattering moments while working in the Trump administration. Recently, she found herself at the center of controversy in September after campaigning with Laura Loomer, an alt-right conspiracy theorist and internet phenomenon who ran for Congress in Florida. Last year, she also appeared on Fox News to say that German chancellor Angela Merkel’s acceptance of Middle Eastern refugees to settle in the country “led to the downfall of Germany.” As terrifying as these things are, Lara has also made mistakes that can only be laughed at, like when she misquoted Abraham Lincoln at the RNC this summer, unknowingly referencing a meme and taking it for fact.
If Lara does decide to run, it’s likely she’ll face competition for this particular Senate seat, including from White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows (also yikes). It’s also predicted that a flood of other GOP candidates will vie for Burr’s Senate seat. But, at the very least, other candidates do not have the Trump family name attached to them, and in 2022, we will likely still feel too triggered to see another Trump in office.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Just when you think Fox News is done making outrageous and false political claims — or just deeply inappropriate ones — they once again say the worst thing possible. In the latest Trump loyalty test, Fox News pundit Geraldo Rivera joined the team at Fox & Friends on Friday morning to make a case for naming the COVID-19 vaccine — wait for it — after outgoing president Trump. (You know, as a nice gesture.) Because, according to Geraldo Rivera and Geraldo Rivera only, if anyone is deserving of a nice gesture right now, it’s Donald Trump.
With everyone telling Trump that it’s time to concede to President-elect Joe Biden in the 2020 presidential election, Rivera asks, “Why not name the vaccine ‘The Trump’? You know, make it like, ‘Have you gotten your Trump yet?’” He added, “It would be a nice gesture to him.” Hosts Steve Doocy and Ainsley Earheardt appeared to laugh it off, while Brian Kilmeade could not hide his lack of enthusiasm for the suggestion if he tried.
“I wished we could honor him in that way,” said Rivera before crediting Trump with the “amazing miraculous breakthroughs” in developing a vaccine.
To soften the blow of defeat Fox’s Geraldo proposes naming the vaccine after Trump. “It would be a nice gesture to him and years from now it would become kind of a generic name. Have you got your trump yet, I got my trump, I’m fine. I wished we could honor him in that way.” pic.twitter.com/fM8qwFhxF6
It should be noted that after Pfizer announced last week it had developed an effective COVID-19 vaccine in partnership with Germany’s BioNTech, Trump wrongly took credit for the development, claiming it was part of his administration’s Operation Warp Speed. Pfizer, however, never accepted any government funding for its work on the vaccine.
Nevertheless, Rivera seems to give Trump the credit — and people had some thoughts about his wild suggestion. As one person wrote on Twitter, “I thought electing Biden was the Trump Vaccine.” Another chimed in, “You might as well name it ‘poison’ because millions of Americans won’t trust or take any vaccine with Trump’s name on it.” The Twitter account LOLGOP made a counter offer to Rivera, stating that a better way to honor the president would be to “Bury the dead at Mar-a-Lago.”
But it’s unsurprising that the TV personality would say this. Rivera has been a long time friend and supporter of the president, once describing him as a civil rights leader, and said the president has been treated “unfairly.” Still, his support has its limits: When Trump launched racist attacks on Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.), Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.), Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass.) and Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.) last year, telling them to “go back” to their countries, Rivera drew the line. More recently, Rivera called out Fox News host Jesse Watters’ claims this week that the Trump campaign may be able to overturn Biden’s victory. “We’re giving false hope to people,” he said.
When it comes to a COVID-19 vaccine, anything with Trump’s name on it would certainly be cursed, and we don’t need that kind of energy moving forward. Further, if a Trump-branded vaccine would earn the president any money at all, a boycott would certainly be in order. But most importantly, it seems like giving Trump any credit for a COVID-19 vaccine would be a disservice to the more than 252,000 people who died on his watch. They deserve much better.
Plus: does anyone really want something called “Trump” injected into their bodies?
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A few weeks ago, I was chatting with my mom on the phone. It was a casual conversation, catching up on what was up with both of us, as well as other members of our family. When the topic of Christmas came up, though, I felt an immediate shift. My mom became a bit more reserved; was she steeling herself? “How would you feel about not exchanging gifts this year?” she asked. I breathed an enormous sigh of relief.
It turned out that my mom had been nominated by our other family members to broach this potentially sensitive topic with me. As the youngest, I’ve always been the one to cling most tightly to our various family traditions, even as my older brother and sister lost interest. I was so adamant about not giving in to the truth about Santa Claus for fear that it would ruin the holiday, that the rest of my family was forced to play along until I was 15. So it’s really no surprise that they were nervous about floating the idea of doing away with gifts altogether. But, in 2020, I’m more than ready to throw out every remotely stressful custom — no matter how cherished — in the name of making things a little bit easier.
I’m not alone in this, and my family isn’t the only one to see gift-giving as a nerve-racking pursuit this holiday season. According to a study conducted by Qualtrics on behalf of Credit Karma, 59% of the 1,034 American adults surveyed plan to alter their gift-giving practices this year, with 40% limiting the number of gifts they’re purchasing, 36% placing price limits on gifts, 34% striking everyone but family off their lists, 18% refusing to participate in workplace gift exchanges, and 16% not buying gifts for anyone at all. WalletHub’s Coronavirus and Holiday Shopping Survey of 1,500 respondents, too, showed that nearly one in three people are foregoing holiday gift exchanges altogether this year due to COVID-19.
For many, this decision to not exchange gifts was influenced by financial concerns. Fifty-four percent of those surveyed for Credit Karma said they feel more financially stressed about the holidays than they did last year; and 34% said they feel like they’re financially unprepared for the holidays, with 50% of them specifying that they are worried about affording gifts. This, of course, makes sense given that the coronavirus pandemic has led to skyrocketing unemployment rates, wide-spread financial insecurity, and a collapsing economy. In the past eight months, many Americans have struggled to cover basic living costs like rent, so participating in Secret Santa gift swaps not only isn’t a priority, it isn’t even really possible.
Even if you’re fortunate enough to have kept your job throughout 2020, there are other reasons you may not want to participate in gift exchanges this year. For some, the pressure to pick out the perfect presents for all their loved ones is a massive burden every year but has only increased in size this year. Dr. Shawn M. Burn, a professor of psychology at California Polytechnic State University and author of Unhealthy Helping: A Psychological Guide to Overcoming Codependence, Enabling, and Other Dysfunctional Giving, writes in Psychology Today, “For empathic people, gift-giving can engender all kinds of time-consuming thought and effort as they anticipate what their gifts may mean to others. Recognizing that some people will see their gifts as love yardsticks (‘How do you love me? Let me count the gifts!’), they take great pains to choose the right gift.” If that’s already something you obsess over every holiday season, it may be simply too much to balance on top of say, homeschooling your kids while working full-time (also at home!) or any of the other anxiety-producing changes you’ve had to make to your daily life because of the pandemic.
For me, most of the nervousness I feel about the holiday tradition in 2020 has more to do with receiving gifts than giving them. I’ve spent the majority of the past eight months inside my small apartment, so every last square inch of space has become more precious than ever. Shortly after shelter-in-place orders took effect in New York City in March, I, like so many others, did a purge of all the unnecessary crap I had in my apartment and made room for new essentials like a small workspace and some exercise equipment. This is not meant as a dig at any of the loved ones in my life who have been kind enough to gift me something over the years, but I have to be honest and admit that a lot of the stuff I got rid of was stocking stuffers, Secret Santa items, and White Elephant winnings. Those types of little presents that you’d never buy for yourself can really start to pile up. So now, the idea of having to bring some tchotchke gifted to me by a well-meaning co-worker or cousin into my home, disrupting the sacred space I’ve worked hard to make function for my new way of life, well, it sends shivers up my spine.
The COVID-19 pandemic has forced us to re-think nearly every aspect of our daily lives, from screen time to wedding celebrations. We’re taking time to reconsider all sorts of practices we previously took as givens. For the sake of our sanities, that re-examination should be extended to holiday gift-giving, especially if it’s adding anxiety to an already overwhelming year.
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